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Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Movie Characters that Need Therapy

Regular poster Kenneth asks:

Which MST characters do you think really need heavy therapy? Yes, some of them do what they do out of stupidity, or because they’re just evil. But which ones seem like they could really use heavy sessions with a good therapist?

My pick: Jodi from “Kitten with a Whip.” SOMEbody has ISSUES!

What’s your pick?

88 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Movie Characters that Need Therapy”

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  1. goalieboy82 says:

    Mitchell and deputy sheriff Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III have anger issues to work out.

       9 likes

  2. Patrick says:

    The Creeping Terror for his self image issues and eating disorder.

       9 likes

  3. MonkeyPretzel says:

    The kids from the “A Date with Your Family” short. That much repression (“Emotions are for ethnic people.”) has got to result in cold, distant relationships in the future. And the less said about Bother treating his mother like his best girl, the better.

       4 likes

  4. Brock Lee Rubberband says:

    Lots of issues to work out with the Sidehackers gang. Rommel’s grief. JC’s anger. Paisley’s manipulating and lying. Big Jake’s roid rage. Gooch/Cooch’s not doing what’s right for Cooch. The refrigerator’s addiction to travelling. That last one was a number 9!

       7 likes

  5. Ray Dunakin says:

    [The Original] Stan McSerr, Destroyer of worlds:
    How about Linda Evans in Mitchell.She not only slept with the title character, but enjoyed it! ewww.

    I think we all could use some therapy after seeing that.

       10 likes

  6. Cornjob says:

    What a great topic. And so many candidates. I hit like on most of the above entries.

    Just about everyone in Wild World of Batwoman needed to be institutionalized.

    Marv from High School Big Shot not only needed loads of therapy, but he had so much potential if he just wasn’t all screwed up inside. Smart. A nice kid. But a mess. Thanks Dad.

    With all the abuse he tolerated from his boss, and his poor state of personal hygiene, Torgo clearly had some self esteem issues at the least. Possible paranoid delusional schizophrenia.

       6 likes

  7. Dirty D says:

    Obviously Jimmy from I Accuse My Parents. Talk about issues! He was so screwed up, and even J&TB did their own analysis of that kid, and his complicated web of deceit and psychological issues.
    Love the opening riff, “The John Bradshaw story!”

       5 likes

  8. Ro-man says:

    Rocky, from Fugitive Alien – I mean, fer cryin’ out loud – he tried to kill him with a FORKLIFT!?!? :car: :musicnote:

       6 likes

  9. Recycle.bin says:

    Vadinho from The Pumaman for his hobby of defenestration. (If he knew the ex-Pumaman, couldn’t he just find his son instead of throwing people out of windows?)

       2 likes

  10. A Flat Minor says:

    Big Stupid and Danny, they needed to be told that their relationship was ok.

       3 likes

  11. Rice off Peeples says:

    I have to go with John Agar for his total narcissism in The Mole People. He is so pathologically self absorbed that even the deaths of his guide,colleague, the load, and Sumerian honey leave him unfazed. See the utter glee on his countenance at being called a god! Need I say more?

       7 likes

  12. Fart Bargo says:

    How about all those fan boys/gals who go far beyond healthy opinion to extreme hate relative to MST3K characters and how they were represented by current and past actors? Who can forget the Joel/Mike flame wars of the last century!? Clearly thet all need thearpy since thet can not just relax.

       11 likes

  13. Sitting Duck says:

    Going off on a tangent here. Some time ago, this guy wrote up these session reports for a Necessary Evil RPG campaign he participated in (Necessary Evil is a setting where you play supervillians saving the world after an alien invasion had wiped out all the superheroes). Unlike most RPG session reports, they’re written from the player’s perspective and are far more readable than most such reports. The reason I bring it up here is because most of the reports open with the lead player’s Dr. Doom-esque character talking to his therapist.

       0 likes

  14. That ain't Dirk says:

    Poor little Sandy. She finds out that her idol Tom Stewart is a murderer. He then tries to kill her. She sees him die. This could take decades.

       12 likes

  15. Chuck! says:

    Mikey from Teenage Strangler! Because look at him. Poor kid needs all the therapy in the world.

       3 likes

  16. gort56 says:

    Angelo from “Terror From the Year 5000”, really needs help. Not only does he have all those nudie pictures taped to his walls, he spray painted over the good parts.

       7 likes

  17. Ray Dunakin says:

    The grouchy grocer from “The Brute Man” sure needs some anger management, at the least.

       7 likes

  18. GodzillvsMegalon says:

    Coleman Francis in Red Zone Cuba. So you made it out and celebrate by knocking off an old man and his blind daughter? Matter of fact he could have used it in real life too!

       8 likes

  19. Ray Dunakin says:

    Lemminkainen could use some help with his impulsiveness, which causes him to botch important missions because he goes off half-cocked — no plan, weapons, reinforcements, etc.

       1 likes

  20. Ray Dunakin says:

    The narrator from “The Beast of Yucca Flats” either needed therapy or some powerful anti-psychotics. He sounded like a crazy homeless guy walking around babbling random phrases.

    “Flag on the moon… a woman’s purse… a flat tire…”

       4 likes

  21. Atorgo says:

    GodzillvsMegalon:
    Coleman Francis in Red Zone Cuba.So you made it out and celebrate by knocking off an old man and his blind daughter? Matter of fact he could have used it in real life too!

    I just watched that one and I was thinking that Cook and Landis should easily overpower Coleman and turn him in for the FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR reward. Then I watched a little more and was like NOPE! Griffin would very easily strangle both of those sissies at the same time. Then he’d just lean against a wall and smoke a cig.

       1 likes

  22. Misfit4242 says:

    I’d say Dirk from The Sinister Urge for his psychosexual issues. Also, poor Krasker from The Dead Talk Back because he just seems lonely.

       4 likes

  23. Ray Dunakin says:

    I think the guy who wrote “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” probably needs some help.

    I’m picturing some slacker who’s kind of pissed off at life, because he has to actually hold down a job, and his boss expects him to actually work even though his job is boring and he’d much rather be watching movies. Oh, the injustice!

    So he’s thinking, “Man, this is so bogus! I can’t wait until computers are so powerful that they basically control the world. Then I could hack into the mainframe and create my own way cooler reality, and then I’d really show them! I would get a hot chick, and stick it to The Man, and I’d give everyone free money and no one would have to work at a boring job anymore and I’d be super popular. It would be so awesome!”

    Eventually he wrote down his fantasy and turned it into a script, and sold it to public television. Which might be kind of therapeutic in itself, but I bet he could still benefit from some counseling.

       4 likes

  24. Rice Off Peeples says:

    gort56:
    Angelo from “Terror From the Year 5000”, really needs help.Not only does he have all those nudie pictures taped to his walls, he spray painted over the good parts.

    Agreed, Angelo exhibits the pleasure “push/pull” of repressed memories of his father, “Censor Angelo” and his sparkly fingernails

       1 likes

  25. Rice Off Peeples says:

    I would be remiss if I did not suggest deep “Adlerian Therapy” for both the Oahu priest from “Code Name Diamond Head”; resulting form the trauma of finding the TSA screener/agent hung from his parish bell…and the neglected HK “50 Dollars” Muldoon for abandonment issues from Ray “Johnny Paul” Thinnes and his empty promises of $50 (that’s a lot of spam for ol’HK, he already feels inconsequential from his “Salty dog” part being trimmed so poorly.

       1 likes

  26. Ray Dunakin says:

    The entire population of the town in “The Creeping Terror” needs therapy to find out why they feel compelled to crawl into the mouth of a creature they could easily escape by just walking slowly away.

       5 likes

  27. Ray Dunakin says:

    There are a lot of maladjusted characters in “The Starfighters” who might benefit from therapy. There’s Lt. Witkowski, who became a pilot but doesn’t like to talk about flying and is oppressed by his overbearing Maude Frickert-like dad. Then there’s the nice Iowa gal who must be seething inside by now, from having to repeat her boring corn-detasseling story to everyone she meets. And Major Stevens, who shifts moods like the gears on a drag racer, bringing up topics like dating and then lashing out angrily at the first response. And don’t even get me started on all those guys having to wear “poopie suits”.

       3 likes

  28. Cornjob says:

    Now that I think of it The Master and his brides could use some Thorazine in their coffee along with Torgo. It would take Freud years to untangle the interplay of incoherent delusions and codependent abusive relationships in this group.

    And maybe El Santo could use some therapy to get to the root of what drives him to dress like that.

    Possibly it was normal behavior on their world, but the brain eating, southern talking, monster controlling astro babes from Gamera Vs. Guiron were some spooky chicks.

    Kendra from Phase 4 was going to be needing some grief counseling what with her family being killed. And then there’s the additional trauma of being held hostage by a lunatic who’s obsessed with teaching hyper intelligent ants a lesson, and who could probably use a turn on the couch himself.

       0 likes

  29. Trumpy's Dad says:

    POD PEOPLE: let’s see, where to begin. Tommy chose a mass murdering chicken/bear over his own family and runs into the gates of Hell to steal an egg, Uncle Bill who carries his shot gun in one hand and a shot gun in the other, Tracy who hasn’t found a man (or an animal) that she hasn’t offered herself to, Laura for thinking that Daddy’s money allows her to steal other girls’ boyfriends, Rick who comes in early and blames the girls for coming in late, a poacher that thinks he is Lorne Greene and another that thinks he is at the Renaissance festival. They should just see if they can get group rates!!!

       1 likes

  30. Trumpy's Dad says:

    Er, sorry. It should be shot gun in one hand and a shot glass in the other.

       0 likes

  31. new cornjob says:

    I agree with those sayin’ Mikey from Teenage Strangler – someday that kid’s gonna crack!

    Thinking outside the movie screen, I think Mike N.’s Hugh Beaumont (“don’t ‘Hugh Beaumont’ me!”) was probably ready for the couch. But I digress…

    About any of the moviekids that can mysteriously conjure and control giant monsters and/or robots – talk about metaphor central! Then again, like Freud said – sometimes a giant turtle is just a giant turtle.

       3 likes

  32. Gare.Chicago says:

    Jimmy from “I Accuse My Parents” has been mentioned, but allow me to elucidate, won’t you (won’t you?).

    Consider when he’s first talking to Kitty, he claims that it’s like his mom “has two beau’s!”. And y’know… ew. That’s a pretty messed up context to put oneself in.

    Of course, he also tries to rob a nice guy who was only interested in giving him a free hamburger sammich, with all the trimmin’s. He could even pay any time he wants. Like Alice’s Restaurant.

    But needless to say, the clincher is, in fact, right in the title – he ACCUSED HIS OWN PARENTS! For his own stupidity! For his life of (ignorant) criminal activities.

    So in conclusion: Unhealthy relationship with mom. Receiving freebies. Lack of responsibility for his own behaviour.

    Jimmy was the first case of Affluenza.

    Gare

       5 likes

  33. Brock Lee Rubberband says:

    ** “Debbie ~ Who’s my 2 o’clock please?”

    * “Roger from Squirm, Dr. Weston.”

    ** “Oh dear. Cancel my other clients today. It’s gonna be a long one…”

       3 likes

  34. Ray Dunakin says:

    Baydool/Lord Vultare, from “Quest of the Delta Knights.” Talk about a classic case of multiple personality disorder!

       3 likes

  35. Cornjob says:

    The Mom in Zombie Nightmare clearly needed grief counseling to help her find a healthier coping mechanism than vindictive voodoo reanimation. The kids in the movie needed help overcoming their need to follow the lead a repulsive sociopathic rapist who was likely beyond therapy even before he discovered that he liked to kill people. Tony seemed to have been coping rather well until he got run over and weaponized by Voodoo Tina Turner. Then he probably could have used some help adjusting.

       4 likes

  36. ck says:

    The paper Chase Guy needed considerable counselling for his anti-social, anti-hero, oh just generally anti- attitude.

    And Donald Pleasance must have been all choked up over the tragic demise of Megaweapon (the best character in the movie). :pain:

       3 likes

  37. digital_trucker says:

    Joanie from The Girl In Gold Boots, who lost her pretty mind.

       5 likes

  38. Bat Masterson says:

    Yuri in Werewolf really needed some anger management counseling, considering he created both of the werewolves when he attacked two people who really weren’t doing anything to him.

    Betty from Teenage Strangler saw her friend get killed and her boyfriend Jimmy was falsely accused of the attacks and stealing a bicycle. I believe that they could both use counseling.

    Big Stupid could have used counseling to help him cope with the loss of Carrie, and it’s apparent that Danny had some issues at home, for which he could have used counseling.

    Paula Perkins needed counseling for her resentment with her parents and her need to turn to crime, and basically live a double life.

       1 likes

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