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Sampo & Erhardt

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Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

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Episode Guide: 1106- Starcrash

Movie: (1978) An outlaw smuggler and her alien companion are recruited by the Emperor of the Galaxy to rescue his son and destroy a secret weapon owned by the evil Count Zarth Arn.

Opening: J&B are playing spin-the-bottle
Invention exchange: Kinga takes the salsa-filled sombrero to the next level with the Band-Eat-O; Jonah has BB-Servo
Segment 1: Crow has a new screenplay: “World War Space”
Segment 2: Jonah becomes Ackton and the bots are impressed
Segment 3: Venture capitalist Freak Masterstroke visits
Closing: J&tB are playing Starcrash and the Torpedo Sketch
Stinger: Acton is pleased
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (65 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5)

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• I liked this one a lot, and I laughed almost continuously. Amazingly, this was the first time I’d ever seen this movie (many of the commenters seemed INTIMATELY familiar with it). It is a painfully obvious observation but … what a dumb and completely incoherent movie.
• Great song in the theater: “A Stranger’s UFO.”
• Callbacks: “Chili peppers burned his gut.” (Sidehackers); crappy effects are powerless against me (Prince of Space ), “Pumaman?”
• A notable comment/question on Twitter: No riffs about Marjoe Gortner? Do they not know who Marjoe was? A good question.
• I guess the big news for this one is Seinfeld’s appearance. Joel really called in some favors with the stunt casting. And this one, while a bit random, works. The performance: GOLD, Jerry! GOLD!
• The many names of the spaceships would be a great Ward E list.
• Patton says: “It’s moon o’clock and 200 degrees below zero.” Is that a KTMA reference?
• Two PG-rated moments for this usually G-rated show: “Well, I DID just save you…” and the use of the term “titty-twister.”
• Jonah removes Tom’s head in the theater when he won’t stop the spaceship names.
• Cast and crew roundup: Director Luigi Cozzi did the story for “Devil Fish.” Caroline Munro was also in “At the Earth’s Core” (later this season). Omero Capanna was also in “The Pumaman.” Behind the camera: Cinematographer Paul Beeson was director of photography for “Moon Zero Two.” Assistant director Goffredo Unger was an actor in “Devil Fish” and “Hercules Against the Moonmen.” Special effects director Germano Natali also did special effects for “Devil Fish.
• Fave riff: “That’s the thing about this movie: it’s not afraid to take its time to aggravate you.” Honorable mention: “That’s not the part I would have started with, but yeah go ahead.”

144 Replies to “Episode Guide: 1106- Starcrash”

  1. thequietman says:

    C’mon girls, we’ve got a star to crash!

    Reading through these comments it would appear that Sampo’s Theorem still holds for the new season. No matter, I’m still having fun watching all this new material. The host segments this time were a real hoot, from Crow’s screenplay to Jonah really getting into the costumed characters. Seinfeld’s cameo seems more novelty than comedy (for all his talent he really isn’t someone who can play a part other than himself), but it was still a pleasant surprise. Seeing such a baby-faced David Hasselhoff, though, that was unexpected. It’s always amazing when you see an actor’s earliest work, knowing what they’d go on to do (for better or worse).

    Fave riffs
    They finally launched the mall of America.

    So they created this massive machine just so they wouldn’t have to go around corners?

    When these special effects are done, I bet it’s gonna look really cool!

    So beach balls are the fuel of the future? Who knew?

    C’mon Christopher, think of the hospitality suite!

    You. Me. Runway Battle. Now!

    The world’s noisiest glue.

       2 likes

  2. Terry the Sensitive Knight says:

    Johnny’s nonchalance: Tom bursting into song used to seem organic. Now it just seemed forced. The tortured rendition of Star Crash/Star Church is one example of writers saying Tom sings so we’ll make up something for him to sing. Bleh.

    looks like someone needs to print out a huge I HATE TOM SERVO’S NEW VOICE!!! banner ;)
    although Tom/Baron’s singing does feel a lot more forced than Kevin, that’s for sure

       1 likes

  3. new cornjob says:

    go down the rabbithole…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6NV21vnHvo

       0 likes

  4. Johnny Drama says:

    Usually G rated show, Sampo? Not according to Netflix or Comet, who always list the show as TV-14
    And while I’m on it, I still don’t understand why MST3K The Movie was rated PG-13. Sure there was a little cursing, but PG-13?

       1 likes

  5. majorjoe23 says:

    Terry the Sensitive Knight: looks like someone needs to print out a huge I HATE TOM SERVO’S NEW VOICE!!! banner ;)
    although Tom/Baron’s singing does feel a lot more forced than Kevin, that’s for sure

    I’d just like to say that I did present Baron with an I HATE TOM SERVO’S NEW VOICE banner in Nov, 2016. I said “You’ll either get this and love it, or think I’m an asshole…”

    For the record, I’m around the same age as the riffers and Marjoe Gortner was a completely new story to me before this episode. I wonder what the Marjoe Gortner cutoff is.

       2 likes

  6. Lisa H. says:

    Johnny Drama: And while I’m on it, I still don’t understand why MST3K The Movie was rated PG-13. Sure there was a little cursing, but PG-13?

    Apparently it was for “some sexual humor”. Given the contents of IMDb’s Parents Guide for the movie, I’m not sure I agree with the MPAA that there was enough to merit PG-13; without seeing that information I would have thought it was for language as well, even if perhaps PG-13 instead of PG seems a bit strong on that count too (although to be fair I was only thinking of one instance of “s***” – Servo saying “well whoopty-s***” which I recall being a bit shocked by at the time because of how different it was to TV MST3K – and not three).

       0 likes

  7. new cornjob:
    go down the rabbithole…

    (Look who’s talking…)

    Johnny Drama:
    And while I’m on it, I still don’t understand why MST3K The Movie was rated PG-13. Sure there was a little cursing, but PG-13?

    (wrestling with pilot joystick)
    “…Should we be WATCHING this?”

    And, of course, the smoke-filled tube parties, woohoo!

       0 likes

  8. Mr. Krasker says:

    I pity the astounding number of commenters here who are unfamiliar with Marjoe Gortner. You poor naifs have never reveled in the splendor that was The Food of the Gods.

    Produced by Arkoff, directed by Mr. B.I.G. himself, and co-starring Ida Lupino. “Inspired” by H.G. Wells, it’s a wonderful 1976 eco-disaster tragedy.

       1 likes

  9. Ro-man, aka one of several possible Steves says:

    Just re-watching this, the sheer incredulity factor of David Hasslehoff and Christopher Plummer in the same movie just smote me upside the head like a ton of bricks…. what the…????
    Great stuff, though… I loved this one. I remember reading about this in the Sci-Fi mags when it came out, but (if memory, poor as it is, serves) I never actually saw it until this MST’d version. This is the kind of camp that MST3K was made for. Five stars… seriously!

    Oh, and, this one was priceless: “Uh, I meant to show up in front of you… when you’re bending space and time the last 20 feet is the hard part.”

    Caroline Munro don’t make this one hard to watch, either.

       1 likes

  10. When the episode list for Season 11 was released, STARCRASH was one of the titles that immediately jumped out at me. Not only was it one of the ones I had heard of, but it was a movie I had been meaning to see. Shout! Factory released it on dvd and while back (and now on blu) and I had been wanting to check it out ever since. Turns out it’s not a very good movie, but it is goofy fun and the costumes are cool to look at, but man oh man, the cast is STACKED with greatness, Marjoe Gortner, Joe Spinell, Caroline Munro, and Christopher Plummer (replacing Kevin Spacey, obvs) are all fantastic, and lets not forget The Hasselhoff. So yeah, cool movie, I will probably watch it sometime without the MST3k commentary.

    As for the episode itself, ya know, I was really high on this one the first few times I watched it (this was like my fifth time), but this time out it was not hitting me the same way. Weird. The riffing is solid and the Host Segments are pretty good. The opening with spin-the-bottle is on-brand (cute and kinda weird) for a certain style of MST segment; I like it. In the Invention Exchange, I’m not entirely sure why you would want or need horseradish with your salsa hat, or Ban-d-eat-o, asthecasemaybe, but whatever. The BB Servo is the second Star Wars reference in the first six Invention Exchanges (Max and Kinga make one back in #1104 with the Don La Font-aine 3000). Also as they go to the movie the screen goes black as there are “problems with the Kingachrome.” Gotta say, this doesn’t make much sense because we don’t even know what Kingachrome is or how it works!

    Host Segment #1 is another on-brand moment for the show with Crow’s “World War Space” script. It’s nice to see his screenwriting career back. “So much pew pew pew!”
    HS#2 with Jonah as Akton is perfectly fine, but I’m not as impressed as the Bots.
    HS#3 is good stuff, an example of the cameo working out. It makes sense narratively why he stays on his ship (which bothers me about all the other cameos) and Jerry Seinfeld is just FUNNY, so it works. “Seriously, do you live in a cave?!” I think with this Freak Masterstroke, you got something!

    The Closing has more pew-pew-pew and, yes, Jonah and the Bots are going insane.

    RIFFS:

    Jonah: “Caroline Munro, the store brand Marilyn Monroe.”

    Servo: “Slim Goodbody 2525.”

    Jonah (singing): “Believe it or not, I’m not William Katt!”

    Jonah: “I had a roommate who had a bong like that. Wooooo!”

    Jonah: “Star Shrek.”

    ALL: “PIIIGS IN SPAAACE!!”

    Crow: “The chili peppers burnt its guts.”

    Crow: “That’s the thing about this movie, it’s not afraid to take its time to aggravate you.”

    movie: “Release her or I’ll blast your Queen!”
    Crow: “With authentic hickory smoked flavor!”
    Servo: “It’s BOLD!”

    Servo: “Initiating Tickle Protocol.”

    — Servo sledding down the hill is a cool theater Shadowrama gag. —

    Crow: “Zardoz.”

    Crow: “He’s like the white Count Chocula.”

    — the Bots roast wieners on Akton’s body. —

    Crow: “Excellent read, Nathan! There are no small parts!”

    movie: “By sunset!”
    Jonah: “In space?”

    ALL (singing): “Schooooool’s out . . for . . STARCRASH!”

    Servo: “So long suckerrrr!”

    Crow: “James Hetfield ruins yet another Metallica concert.” —- so damn funny, kinda mean, but so damn funny!!

    There is a LOT of singing in this episode, not just the UFO song they do, but lots of little bits (note a couple of the riffs above). Wonder what it was about STARCRASH that brought out the music in them?
    Overall, even though I was kinda meh on this viewing, I have to say this is a really great episode of the new season.
    I give it 4 out of 5 PEW PEW PEWs!!

       3 likes

  11. Dan in WI says:

    Watch-out-for-Snakes:
    Also as they go to the movie the screen goes black as there are “problems with the Kingachrome.”Gotta say, this doesn’t make much sense because we don’t even know what Kingachrome is or how it works!

    True. But we also don’t know how Jonah eats or breaths or science facts. I guess we should repeat to ourselves it just a show and we should really just relax.

       2 likes

  12. Dan in WI says:

    majorjoe23: I’d just like to say that I did present Baron with an I HATE TOM SERVO’S NEW VOICE banner in Nov, 2016. I said “You’ll either get this and love it, or think I’m an asshole…”

    Nice!
    Don’t keep us in suspense. Did he get it?

       3 likes

  13. Dan in WI says:

    I hate to start out this review on a downer but everything before the first movie sign falls into the meh category for me. Spine the bottle was good for a mild grin but no more. The Band-Eat-O is cute and once again Patton channels Frank (man he’s good at that) and makes it into more than should be possible. BB-Servo. Good idea but even that fell flat and I’m not sure why. Finally we got the meltdown of Kingachrome which again served to explain to us just how unreliable that technology is.
    Everyone else is saying it but let me join the chorus. I am really glad to see that Crow is still writing screenplays. This one was good. But is World War Space better than Starcrash?
    When introducing the proto-Hoth (because Starcrash did come before the Empire Strikes Back) there are a lot of riffs on Delaware. I’m pretty sure that in the Comedy Central days they would have been saying Wisconsin. I wonder who on the writing team has it in for Delaware.
    I’m no fan of Jerry Seinfeld. His brand of humor just isn’t for me. But given his and Joel’s history, this really had to be cool for Joel.
    Is it just me? When Patton does the voice overs during the “commercial bumpers” instead of thinking Max, I think the narrator of The Goldbergs. And then there is his line “It’s moon o’clock and 200 degrees below zero.” So is this a KTMA reference? I just don’t know and this is the #2 question on my list from the new season I would really like an answer to.
    Wow is this a Star Wars rip-off? What Jonah terms as an up skirt shot of a spaceship is a blatant rip off of the Tantive IV and Devastator opening sequence of A New Hope. But this film also has “gee-wiz” special effects to augment ideas that are just plain stupid. For example we have the rotator that looks like an elevator but only serves to rotate you from one hallway to another on the same level. As Jonah put it “so they created this massive machine just so they wouldn’t have to go around corners?” What was the point?
    Finally to answer Max’s question: does the torpedo sketch count as driving them insane? I say yes.

    Favorite Riffs:
    An especially loud spaceship moves past. Jonah shouts “In space no one can hear you scream because it’s so loud.”
    The crappy hyperspace special effect (which looks like a crude temporary placeholder) is shown. Jonah “When these special effects are done I’ll bet it’s going to look really cool.”
    The Emperor “A weapon so vast, so huge [he’s really channeling Shatner here] that it would take a whole planet to conceal it.” Jonah “You obviously never heard of that before. Huh?”
    Crow “Wait. They’re actually paying off something they set up earlier in the film? That’s cute. It’s acting like a real movie.”

       2 likes

  14. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Watch-out-for-Snakes:
    Also as they go to the movie the screen goes black as there are “problems with the Kingachrome.”Gotta say, this doesn’t make much sense because we don’t even know what Kingachrome is or how it works!

    “Kingachrome is the liquid video medium that Kinga Forrester uses to store and deploy the movies she sends Jonah Heston. The technology is developed in Moon 14, which is located a level below Moon 13.

    “While Kinga promotes her invention as the best video medium ever, Max says that the visual quality is less than SD (that is, less than the old television video quality) and that it spills often. Glitches in the video (which manifest as bubbles in the transmission) happen from time to time when Kinga and Jonah are communicating. Despite the poor quality of Kingachrome, the movies still appear as HD on the broadcast for some unknown reason.

    “Ardy says the Boneheads often slip on the video spills and that they often spray it into each other’s faces.* Ardy appears at the start of several episodes to report “video spills” (which are probably cuts in the movie made for time).

    “Kingchrome liquid appears as different colors for different movies. Any meaning for the different colors is currently unknown.”

    http://mst3k.wikia.com/wiki/Kingachrome

    *the question of how and why Kingachrome gets into the Boneheads’ mouths is left to our imaginations

       3 likes

  15. Speedy B. says:

    David Hasselhoff gets top billing but he first appears about 2/3 through the movie. Weird.

       1 likes

  16. One more for the Cast & Crew Roundup, after admittedly not looking to see if any 2017 comments mentioned it:

    Robert Tessier was also in “The Sidehackers”. He was Big Jake.

    Not sure if that makes it more coincidental, or funnier, or both, that J&TB had a “Sidehackers” callback.

       3 likes

  17. Dan in WI:
    Wow is this a Star Wars rip-off? What Jonah terms as an up skirt shot of a spaceship is a blatant rip off of the Tantive IV and Devastator opening sequence of A New Hope.

    Thank you: For years, I worried that people would think I was a “Star Wars geek”, but–not remembering a single thing that happened in “Rogue One”, and having no idea the ships had names–I now have enough proof to rest safely in the confidence that I am not. :)

       0 likes

  18. yelling_into_the_void says:

    (I don’t have time to read the older comments right now…) Was there any explanation for Acton being a walking deus ex machina?

    I have a feeling that if this was done on Sci-fi Channel, they would have given up naming ships half-way through the scene and just start yelling “GET TO THE POINT!”

       0 likes

  19. Dan in WI says:

    The Original EricJ: Thank you:For years, I worried that people would think I was a “Star Wars geek”, but–not remembering a single thing that happened in “Rogue One”, and having no idea the ships had names–I now have enough proof to rest safely in the confidence that I am not.:)

    My geekdom is limited to the original trilogy and Rogue One. Espcially where the original trilogy is concerned I’ll hold my own in a trivia contest with anyone. The rest not so much.

       0 likes

  20. Dan in WI says:

    yelling_into_the_void:
    (I don’t have time to read the older comments right now…) Was there any explanation for Acton being a walking deus ex machina?

    I have a feeling that if this was done on Sci-fi Channel, they would have given up naming ships half-way through the scene and just start yelling “GET TO THE POINT!”

    I don’t know. It was the Sci-fi years that gave us the names of Beef McLargehuge and the tributary to the Upper Amazon. They didn’t resort to a “get to the point” in either case.

       3 likes

  21. yelling_into_the_void says:

    Dan in WI: I don’t know. It was the Sci-fi years that gave us the names of *BIG* McLargehuge and the tributary to the Upper Amazon. They didn’t resort to a “get to the point” in either case.

    Those are sprinkled throughout the episode, and Mike made crow stop with the Tributary to the Upper Amazon. I was thinking more along the lines of Invasion of the Neptune Men.

       0 likes

  22. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    The Original EricJ:
    Trivia note:Starcrash was released by New World in ’79, back when two young employees named Joe Dante and Alan (“Rock ‘N Roll High School”) Arkush were still just getting their break working in Corman’s marketing department, cutting trailers and approving posters.
    Six years later, in Dante’s ’85 “Explorers”, our group of Spielberg-esque kids are watching a ridiculously $1.98 Star Wars knockoff at the drive-in, and…say, is it just me, or does the parody look uncannily familiar?:)

    That film-within-a-film is entitled “Starkiller,” a name whose history a few commentators may be familiar with. ;-)

       1 likes

  23. docskippy says:

    yelling_into_the_void:
    (I don’t have time to read the older comments right now…) Was there any explanation for Acton being a walking deus ex machina?

    I have a feeling that if this was done on Sci-fi Channel, they would have given up naming ships half-way through the scene and just start yelling “GET TO THE POINT!”

    There is no diegetic explanation for Acton’s abilities, but from what I’ve read, the character was intended to be obviously nonhuman in appearance, thus suggesting otherworldliness (and, therefore, I guess, supernatural power). However, Marjoe Gortner refused to be covered in makeup or latex appliances or whatever it was that the filmmakers had planned to do to him, so he just appears as human as Caroline Munroe. This sets up the cognitive dissonance of why Acton is a miracle machine whereas she’s not.

       2 likes

  24. docskippy says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: That film-within-a-film is entitled “Starkiller,” a name whose history a few commentators may be familiar with. ;-)

    Oh, that must be a Star Trek reference, right?

       1 likes

  25. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    docskippy: Oh, that must be a Star Trek reference, right?

    Star Wars again. Luke (and Anakin)’s last name was originally Starkiller but Lucas changed to Skywalker.

       2 likes

  26. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    docskippy: There is no diegetic explanation for Acton’s abilities, but from what I’ve read, the character was intended to be obviously nonhuman in appearance, thus suggesting otherworldliness (and, therefore, I guess, supernatural power). However, Marjoe Gortner refused to be covered in makeup or latex appliances or whatever it was that the filmmakers had planned to do to him, so he just appears as human as Caroline Munroe. This sets up the cognitive dissonance of why Acton is a miracle machine whereas she’s not.

    Well, Stella refers to Acton as “the only human-like friend [she’s] ever had” and if he’s only “human-LIKE” that means that although he looks “human” (whatever that even means in another galaxy), he isn’t.

    The story behind Stella’s remark, of how she’s apparently gone through most of her life with only non-human-like friends, would probably be more interesting than the film itself. :-)

       3 likes

  27. majorjoe23 says:

    Dan in WI: Nice!
    Don’t keep us in suspense. Did he get it?

    Let’s just say the black eye was worth it.

    Kidding, he did get it.

       0 likes

  28. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    I don’t see any obvious pattern in why some of my posts gets LIKEs and some don’t. Oh well. I’m over it. :-)

    Johnny Drama:
    I’m almost 43

    Oh, just rub it in, why don’t you.

    “Damn you, you blew it up! I don’t know what it is, but you blew it up!”

    Obviously, a reference to the ending of Planet of the Apes (1968). The power of that moment was IMHO somewhat undercut by the fact that Taylor had spent the entire film listening to the Apes SPEAK ENGLISH. What exactly did he THINK that meant? Then again, what was the AUDIENCE supposed to think that meant? And not even a facsimile of a Universal Translator anywhere. I wouldn’t have thought SF fans of 1968 would have been THAT indulgent but apparently so.

    Do you realize that when Planet of the Apes premiered, Star Trek was midway through its second season, as were The Invaders, Batman, and Ironside, and that Lost in Space was in its third season and The Man from UNCLE in its fourth? Do you realize that other 1968 genre premieres included The Astro-Zombies, Barbarella, Destroy All Monsters, MST3K’s own The Green Slime, Rosemary’s Baby, Trilogy of Terror, and Night of the Living Dead and 2001: A Space Odyssey themselves? CONTEXT. Really makes you think, don’t it? Or not, not works similarly well. ;-)

    JONAH: “You’ve never been in a store, have you?”
    CROW: “–No, and I’ll sit down.”

    Actually, it seems quite likely that Crow has been to stores…during that stage of his life where he went back in time from Season 8 (set in the year 2525) to 1993, lived in Wisconsin with Mike’s family for Eleven Frickin’ Years, then returned to Season 8 (still set in the year 2525, although to us it was 1997). Who goes eleven years without going into stores? But that’s all in the past now. 2004 at the latest.

    “Hassel slash! Hassel thrust! Hassel parry! Hassel duck!”

    That’s hardly even close to “Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!” Couldn’t they have tried a LITTLE harder?

    “Kill! Kill!”

    “Yes, dear, I’m doing it, dear…”

    “Slim Goodbody 2525.”

    Should that have been “Slim Goodbody 2099”? That number’s well-known for being attached to a character/concept (Spider-Man 2099, X-Men 2099, and so on), whereas AFAIK 2525 isn’t.

    Slim Goodbody
    Brave and true
    A man of health
    A hero who
    Leads a team at Body Control
    Nutrition is his mission
    Good health is his goal!

    Anyone remember his secret origin in more detail than I do? It’d be hard to remember it in less. :-)

    Mike “ex-genius” Kelley:
    I’ve noticed a distinct trend in all of the new episode comments.Either folks think the particular episode is “the best ever!” or they think it’s okay but not great.There doesn’t appear to be a middle ground.

    Actually, “okay but not great” IS the middle ground. You’ve overlooked the noticeable “IT STINKS!” demographics.

    Jeremy Zharkov:
    Strangely, Candy Clark does the voice for Caroline Munro. She was in a host of cult classic horror movies, such as Q the Flying Serpent

    The potential riffs for just the title “Q” alone could go on for quite some time (aside from some more obvious ones: “Remember, Q needs a U more than U need a Q.”). Also, the presence of Michael “A.D.A. Ben Stone” Moriarty could make for any number of Law & Order riffs, too. L&O had already become a pivotal pop culture, uh, thing even in earlier seasons, but IIRC it was rarely mentioned in riffs. Here’s the only one that I recall right off:

    Valmont: “I’m calling you, Inspector, on behalf of law and order.”
    Ginko: “Good.”
    Crow: “I love Jerry Orbach.”

    Tim S. Turner:
    My one real complaint of the new series is that Kinga just doesn’t seem evil at all.

    We’ve been over that elsewhere but we can of course go over it again ;-)

    Tim S. Turner:
    can they have her say something other than “experience the nightmare fueled world of……” every damn time?Mix it up a little!!

    But it’s her BRAND. She’s probably trademarked it and everything.

       1 likes

  29. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Volcanosaurus Rex:
    the inexplicable “Amazons on horseback”

    Amazons, like Ninjas, require no explanation, they simply ARE.

    Volcanosaurus Rex:
    Why does Zartharn have such an intensely bulgy-eyed yet wooden expression?

    As previously noted…

    He’s a maniac, a man-i-ac

    Torque the Dorque:
    The only nitpic is the Bots needed to go after that very lame robot a lot more than they did.

    I think the Bots prefer their prey to be a bit more challenging.

    new cornjob:
    “spaacce churrrrch!! more like a sppppaaccce cuuulllt!!”…

    Where does one really draw the line there, though? At what point does a cult become a church or vice versa? That’s the focus somewhere else entirely…

    new cornjob:
    “i can’t believe my robot ears!”

    “I can’t believe your entire robot face.”

    Mike “ex-genius” Kelley:
    Sorry to respectfully disagree with you

    Well, the “respect” part is new, anyway.

    Mike “ex-genius” Kelley:
    And that’s okay — youth must be served

    Did I already do the “IT’S A COOKBOOK!” bit in another thread? Yeah, I think I did.

    Cornjob:
    “By Sundown I’ll rule the galaxy.”

    “In Space?”

    Well, come on, it’s just an expression (clearly left over from before Arn’s race achieved space travel). You know, like “the Dark Side of the Moon” is just an expression. ;-)

       2 likes

  30. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Okay, never mind why going to prison meant Stella ended up in a skimpier outfit, never even mind why she’s the only prisoner IN a skimpy outfit, the real question is why her outfit didn’t continue to get skimpier and skimpier throughout the rest of the movie? Maybe she could’ve been nude by the end of the movie, what with those wacky Europeans and all. ;-)

    If Stella and Akton hadn’t paused at the “launch” (which was different from a ship in a way that I didn’t quite get), they probably wouldn’t have been caught and sentenced to prison. Yet it was only the message from the guy they rescued that resulted in their PRISON SENTENCES BEING CANCELLED. So apparently some good deeds go neither unrewarded NOR unpunished.

    And then after the final scene, Stella’s sent RIGHT BACK to prison for the entirely separate crime of ESCAPING prison. D’oh!

    (destroying the prison and killing everyone within was unintentional, of course)

    Upon reflection, Stella and Akton could’ve just gotten the message from the launch’s computer, which means the message GUY was totally extraneous. Oh well.

       1 likes

  31. Sitting Duck says:

    For the record, Starcrash has its references listed over at The Annotated MST. Interestingly, the tune they used was not a Beach Boys song.

    http://www.annotatedmst.com/episodes/135/Starcrash

       0 likes

  32. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    IF I…WERE A BRAIN…AND A RIFFERRRRRRR

    “Major Bradbury to communication bridge…”
    “Something Wicked This Way coming to Disembarkment Bay 451.”

    a more specific riff to have followed “Oh, no, Glinda the Good Witch is multiplying at an alarming rate!”
    “I thought we sprayed for Lights of Zetar!”

    “Taste this rainbow!”
    “In fact, choke on this rainbow!”

    about Stella and Akton’s ship
    “Why are they flying a three-dimensional scale ruler?”
    later
    “They jettisoned the main hull and their ship is STILL huge.”

    upon finding the survivor
    “Yeah, be sure to move his spine around a lot, that always helps…”

    “What is it, Elric?”
    “What brings you here from Melniboné?”
    “Heh-heh, you said “bone”…”

    at some point during the first Zarth Arn sequence
    “Is he wearing earmuffs?”
    “Yeah, that’s why in space, he can’t hear anyone scream.”

    when the “Invaders from Mars” judge (who admittedly doesn’t look all THAT much like the Supreme Martian Intelligence, and who IIRC is the film’s only visibly non-human life-form and what’s THAT about?) appears
    “Why are they being judged by the bronzed head of Gary Oldman’s Dracula?”
    “And why is the trial being held in a locker room?”

    “…having considered all the arguments, studied all the videotapes…”
    “Oh, and what, he DIDN’T do that for Akton’s case? I call beige male privilege!”
    “Yeah, that’s why Akton only got 220 years and she’s getting life.”

    “…in the penal colony of Nocturne the Second.”
    “Under Commandant Chopin and Sgt. Bartok.”
    “Oh, I guess “Nocturne II” isn’t good enough for the great First Circle of the Universe.”

    “I’ve been at this for twelve straight hours!”
    “What a great attitude for the start of your life sentence.”

    “The radiation will burn my skin off!”
    “Maybe you should have thought of that before you got dressed this morning…”
    “And the chili peppers will burn your gut, quit whining!”

    “We’re not slaves!”
    “I mean, sure, we’ve been condemned to lifelong forced labor under whip-wielding overseers but that doesn’t make us slaves!”

    “There must be a way to escape!”
    “Yeah, whoever heard of a prison that you couldn’t escape?”
    “Stella seems unclear on some pretty basic concepts.”

    the prison explodes
    “Hey, check it out, they all turned into more red monsters.”
    “Never build your prison out of protomatter.”
    “Never build it out of video games either.”

    at some point as Stella flees from the explosion
    “So, this is the Cornfield everybody keeps getting sent to?”
    “Antony! Antonnnyyy!”*
    “Children of the Corn XXVII: We’ve…Run Out of Secondary Titles.”

    “Ironically, planet Nocturne receives near-constant sunlight.”
    “Isaac Asimov’s classic short story Nightballs.”

    (I didn’t bother trying to come up with riffs for the screentime that the guys devoted to their song. Kind of an odd choice on their part IMHO.)

    in the middle of the riff to “You can drop the rifle ray.” // “My name’s not Ray –“
    “But you can call me “Ray,” or you can call me “Jay”, or you can –”

    we see for the first time that Thor is green (which wasn’t clear in his viewscreen appearances)
    “Imagine, all that authority and he’s still a green recruit!”
    “Yeah, don’t do that again, okay?”

    to Elle, “And you too!”
    “Actually, there’s only one of me.”

    freeing Akton; “My gift to you.”
    “From me, Captain Nemo.”
    “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m due on the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen set**.”

    shortly after the Emperor appears and Thor is still seated
    “Hey, Thor! On your, oh, you’re already in the process of standing up, never mind.”

    “– ruled by the evil Count Zarth Arn, from the League of the Dark Worlds.”
    “Wait, is that the other warring faction or just where Zarth is from?”
    “So, I’m guessing the Dark Worlds receive absolutely no sunlight?”
    “Yeah, but that’s only on the dark sides of the worlds.”
    [Darkseid voice]”You may feel powerless now, but soon you will watch the fear in men’s eyes.

    during the Emperor’s speech
    “Is Elle’s face made out of a gas mask?”
    “Thor looks more confused than we are.”

    ===

    *as used during the “Italian” sketch from Devil Fish; the implied reference is to Anthony Fremont from “It’s a Good Life.”

    **have there been any League of Extraordinary Gentlemen riffs in Season 11 to date? they’d be contemporary AND obscure at the same time

       1 likes

  33. Cornjob says:

    I love the Swiss Army Planet. I’d like to see the full size deal in action. Thanks for the info on Joe Spinel. I thought he looked familiar. He was pretty good in the movie Maniac if I recall. BTW The original version of the song Maniac from Flashdance was about a killer on the loose. The composer retooled the lyrics to be about a dancer when the Flashdance people asked him for a song. So riffs about an axe wielding maniac who’s dancing like he’s never danced before aren’t totally off the mark.

       0 likes

  34. Cornjob says:

    I originally figured that Akton and Hasselhoff started out as one character, but when the script writers realized that they needed him in two places at once they split him in to two characters. Thanks for the background about Akton originally being an alien. It explains a bit. Was anyone else wondering why the troglodytes lashed Caroline Monroe to a steel girder that had to weigh at least five times as much as she did to carry her off? How did that help?

       0 likes

  35. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Would it have been funny if, after Akton told Stella the odds, there had been a Han Solo/Empire Strikes Back riff “Never tell me the odds” when Stella had in fact TOLD him to tell her the odds?

    Max says that Starcrash “breaks the rules of sci fi.” What exactly does that mean in this context?

       1 likes

  36. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    “The film is notorious for using stock footage from Starcrash for all its model scenes.”

    I guess notoriety is subjective, huh? ;-)

    The obvious “explanation” is that both films take place in the same galaxy, hence the similar architecture…

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escape_from_Galaxy_3

       1 likes

  37. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves:
    Anyone remember [Slim Goodbody’s] secret origin in more detail than I do? It’d be hard to remember it in less. :-)

    BTW, this wasn’t actually a rhetorical question. :-)

       1 likes

  38. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/422916221234023785/

    More riffs about the Supreme Martian Intelligence from Invaders from Mars (which admittedly don’t really have anything to do with Starcrash):

    “When Hershey’s Kisses go incredibly, horribly wrong…”

    “We represent the Gumdrop Guild, the Gumdrop Guild, the Gumdrop –“

    “From the Gerber Baby Commemorative Chess Set…”

    “Poor guy, he’s been in the refrigerator so long that he’s starting to sprout…”

       2 likes

  39. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    To briefly revisit the strictly subjective viewpoint that the Murphy and Beaulieu voices were much more entertaining than the current ones:

    It occurred to me that if it’s possible to sync a set of riffs up with an entirely movie (as Rifftrax, y’know, has made a business of doing), it should be possible to sync Servo/Crow voices to overlap other Servo/Crow voices. So we could theoretically hear Murphy/Servo and Beaulieu/Crow riffing alongside Jonah instead.

    I seriously doubt that anyone would consider such a project worth the trouble of even approaching Kevin and Trace about it much less try to make it a reality, it just…occurred to me, that’s all. ;-)

       1 likes

  40. docskippy says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: Star Wars again. Luke (and Anakin)’s last name was originally Starkiller but Lucas changed to Skywalker.

    Yes, I know. As we are all aware by now, Star Wars has colonized all of our brains and forced our neurons into perpetual slave labor for Disney stockholders.

       1 likes

  41. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    docskippy: Yes, I know.

    And yet you indicated that you thought it was a Star Trek reference. Okay.

       1 likes

  42. Lisa H. says:

    Preeeeeetty sure that was a joke on docskippy’s part.

       0 likes

  43. Ro-man, aka one of several possible Steves says:

    FWIW:

    Die-cast metal vehicles from Starcrash:
    Akton’s Perm-Wing Fighter
    Stella’s“Permanent Wave Rider
    Elle’s Southern Comfort
    Thor’s Dead Now
    The Count’s Pain Farm
    Simone’s“Eye Liner
    (Special mini-vehicles)
    The Grover Cleveland
    The Upside-Down Gun
    Duffy
    Lactose the Intolerant
    The Bauhaus Brawler
    Tipsy McKnight and her Flight from McLight
    The Wii Remote
    Hootie’s Blowfish
    Bad Blood
    (the mini-minis, special teeny-tiny vehicles. They’ll be lost the second you open the package!)
    The Meat Wagon
    Mr. Monster’s Creature Car
    A Second Wii Remote (so you can play with friends)
    The Repeater
    The Groundhog Day
    Memento
    (Special two-pack edition! Same ships. You get two!)
    Christopher Plummer’s Little Helper
    Mother’s Little Helper
    My Brother from Another Mother
    Tupac Shakur
    The I Can’t Think of One
    (Bonus: after the break)
    Meeny, Miney, and their friend Mo

       0 likes

  44. Roman says:

    Have to say, I love this episode. I had always hoped “Starcrash” would get some kind of riffing treatment at some point, so when it was announced for season 11, I was really excited. And I think the whole crew did an excellent job with it. Yes, I do wish they had riffed the whole film instead and edited version. That said, the riffing here hit the perfect sweet spot of laughs, pacing and timing. Just a lot of fun with a movie that just keeps giving and giving with each new scene. Probably my favorite episode of the season and may even crack my favorites of all time list… need to watch it a few more times to make sure.

    Read my full review here: http://romansreviews.blogspot.com/2017/09/starcrash-1978-mst3k-review.html

       0 likes

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