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Weekend Discussion Thread: Fight Cards

Alert reader Perry suggests:

Which MST characters would you like to see face off in the Octagon? (Or Thunderdome.) So many possibilities you could make a whole tournament card.

I think Kor the Conquerer vs. Melissa Strickland will be a close-run affair.

I’d pick Buzz from “Mr. B Natural” vs. John from “Cheating.” I envision an epic slap fight.

What’s your pick?

And keep those WDT ideas coming!

98 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Fight Cards”

  1. duke of puddles says:

    if you’re into running around and high pitched screams then i present this carnage filled handicapped match:
    troy (final sacrifice) and mikey
    vs.
    punch slamjaw (space mutiny)

       8 likes

  2. jay says:

    Great topic. I see Bat Woman versus the Leech Woman. There would be lots of arm’s reach scratching and smack talking.

       7 likes

  3. duke of puddles says:

    ….or y’know
    a Texas get drunk and pass out fight between Rowzdower! and Mitchell!

       7 likes

  4. Murdock Hauser says:

    IN THE RED CORNER! ZAP ROWSDOWER!
    AND
    IN THE BLUE CORNER! MITCHELL!

    This bout is for a keg of beer. Special guest referee Captain Joe then hoists up the keg.

       8 likes

  5. Son of Peanut says:

    The Dust-Up in the Desert:

    Paul “Moon Beast” Carlson
    vs
    Paul “Werewolf” Niles

    The winner to face Johnny “Bat Boy” Beck.

       7 likes

  6. Not to be one of those people, but I’ve started filling out an entire card…

    Buzz (Mr. B Natural) vs. Buzz (Girl In Gold Boots)
    Critter Jones vs. made-for-TV hippie (SF Int’l)
    Mitchell vs. Geronimo
    Troy vs. Winky

       10 likes

  7. And in the main event, Godzilla vs. Megal…

    Oh.

    Right.

       9 likes

  8. DarkGrandmaofDeath says:

    Mooney from The Beatniks versus Gloria from The Sinister Urge. The jagged blade that is Gloria’s voice against Mooney’s toddler-having-a-tantrum shriek would be worth the price of a ticket.

       9 likes

  9. Sitting Duck says:

    For our sluggish, awkward cyber bout: Dr. Krupp’s Robot Vs. Jet Jaguar.

    For our playground argument settling bout: Godzilla Vs. Gamera.

       6 likes

  10. Oh, Lordy Jeebus. This is gonna be a good one.

    Let’s start out with the Tiny Liz Taylor Look-Alikes match.

    Dolores Faith (Lisa Dornheimer in Human Duplicators, Zetha in Phantom Planet) vs. Adele Lamont (Doris Powell in the Brain that Wouldn’t Die).

    I’ll be in my bunk.

       6 likes

  11. Stupid Repulsive Anteater:
    Not to be one of those people, but I’ve started filling out an entire card…

    Amen to THAT. I mean, this just writes itself. The All-Richard-Kiel Death Match–Doctor Kolos, Eegah, and the Solarite. The Brain That Wouldn’t Die Over-the-Hill Stripper Dressing-Room Death Cage Rematch. The Perky Judy Slapdown–Judee Morton (Bonnie Galbraith in Slime People) vs Bonnie Baken (Judy “Squishy” Adams in Young Man’s Fancy).

    Somebody get Vince on the phone. THIS COULD BE BIG.

       6 likes

  12. skrag2112 says:

    A flailing Battlebots match up between the Robot from ‘Robot Vs The Aztec Mummy’ vs Bela Lugosi’s homely robot from ‘The Phantom Creeps’.
    Oh, and the Aztec Mummy vs the Zombie, Tony Washington from ‘Zombie Nightmare’.

       5 likes

  13. Yeti of Great Danger says:

    Prince of Space vs. the hero of Invasion of the Neptune Men! Confusion ensues.

    Thena vs. Madam Maaydeed from Quest of the Delta Knights in the Battle of the Push-Up Bras! Very popular bout.

       7 likes

  14. Dr. Carlo Lombardi & the Dr. Carlo Lombardi Doll

    VS

    The Great Vorelli & Hugo

    Referee Madam Estrella

       10 likes

  15. Livia the witch vs. Melissa Strickland the witch.

    With Clara Motensen as the referee.

    Mud or jello optional.

       5 likes

  16. Satoris vs. The Master.

    Winner gets to rule one acre of land for about a week.

       12 likes

  17. itsspideyman says:

    Prince of Space Vs Krankor…….

    Nevermind. Weapons are useless against Prince.

       10 likes

  18. Sitting Duck says:

    We’ll be wanting clean matches, though. So be on the lookout for Umberto Scali attempting to pressure any participants into throwing their bouts.

       7 likes

  19. yelling_into_the_void says:

    Gulfax vs. The Blood Beast

       1 likes

  20. mando3b says:

    Old Man Crenshaw vs. The Creeping Terror. (Not the fastest-moving bout, true.)

       8 likes

  21. mando3b:
    Old Man Crenshaw vs. The Creeping Terror. (Not the fastest-moving bout, true.)

    Old Man Crenshaw? Oh, noes–you just opened the gateway to sumo matches.
    I can’t do this. I have SO much to do today.

       6 likes

  22. jay says:

    mando3b:
    Old Man Crenshaw vs. The Creeping Terror. (Not the fastest-moving bout, true.)

    Since you brought him up…

    Old Man Crenshaw vs. The Darn Smoochers Old Man from ATTACK OF THE the EYE CREATURES.
    It would have to be a shotgun duel, of course. The contest would be to see which one could repeatedly brandish their weapon in the most threatening but still comic fashion. Extra points for using the word “dern”.

       8 likes

  23. peteplumsdriverslicense: Old Man Crenshaw? Oh, noes–you just opened the gateway to sumo matches.
    I can’t do this. I have SO much to do today.

    Lol. Me too……but, Ready for some football guy vs. Dave Walker (Attack of the Giant Leeches).

    Ok. Gotta go now.

       5 likes

  24. Weeellll, one more

    Dr. Carlo Lombardi vs. The Great Vorelli.

    Okay, I’m really done.

    (Great WDT idea to whoever thought of it)

       5 likes

  25. The Great Crowdini says:

    Inept Magicians Match:

    Merlin
    vs.
    Jack Frost

    Winner gets a new magic cloak, free of Ensure stains, and a cookie.

       6 likes

  26. The Great Crowdini:
    Inept Magicians Match:

    Merlin
    vs.
    Jack Frost

    Winner gets a new magic cloak, free of Ensure stains, and a cookie.

    …not till they deal with the run-in and beatdown from Caedmon and Vanir…

       2 likes

  27. MonkeyPretzel says:

    Angry Old Man Grocer from The Brute Man vs. Cranky Old Man Handkerchief-Wearing Porch Sitter from Hired. Sponsored by Geritol.

       8 likes

  28. mando3b says:

    peteplumsdriverslicense: Amen to THAT. I mean, this just writes itself.

    Yessir, and let’s echo peteplumsdriverslicense’s heartfelt lament: “I can’t do this. I have SO much to do today.”
    But, anyway: Jan in the Pan vs. The Thing That Couldn’t Die (haven’t figured out the logistics yet, but this would be the match of the evening); a tag-team match between the Hobgoblins and the turtle aliens from Laserblast; and finally, the Mincing Mushroom Guy from Jack Frost vs. The Bluebird of Happiness from the Magic Voyage of Sinbad in a Russo-Finnish grudge match.

       5 likes

  29. Sitting Duck says:

    Jan in the Pan Vs. Gideon Drew in a head to head match (please don’t hurt me).

       8 likes

  30. itsspideyman says:

    MonkeyPretzel: Angry Old Man Grocer from The Brute Man vs. Cranky Old Man Handkerchief-Wearing Porch Sitter from Hired. Sponsored by Geritol.

    Winner gets to tell those dang kids to get the hell out of their yard.

       8 likes

  31. Mike’s Urkel vs Mike’s Torgo

    Bigfoot vs Trumpy

    Worm guy from Squirm vs the Incredible Melting Man

    40 year old Teenagers from Outer space vs 40 year old teenagers from Teenage Caveman

       9 likes

  32. Ray Dunakin says:

    mando3b:
    Old Man Crenshaw vs. The Creeping Terror. (Not the fastest-moving bout, true.)

    For a truly slow bout, I’d pit Torgo vs Creeping Terror.

       7 likes

  33. The Great Crowdini says:

    peteplumsdriverslicense: …not till they deal with the run-in and beatdown from Caedmon and Vanir…

    (Announcer) Wait! What’s this? Everyone has been turned into …little dog biscuits! What’s this? The referee in the ring has mutated… it’s Lodac!

       3 likes

  34. Ray Dunakin says:

    This one’s a little bit “outside the box”… the hypnotic droning of the Bluebird of Happiness vs the somnolent kantele strumming from “Day the Earth Froze”. It would be hard to referee this match, or decide a winner, since everyone in earshot would be in a coma.

       7 likes

  35. Ray Dunakin says:

    Merlin from “Santa Claus” vs Merlin from “Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders”.

       11 likes

  36. Charles McClelland:

    40 year old Teenagers from Outer space vs 40 year old teenagers from Teenage Caveman

    Winners take on 40 year old college students from Ring of Terror.

       14 likes

  37. Paper Chase Guy and Einstein vs. All the Sidehackers

       4 likes

  38. Yeti of Great Danger says:

    One more. The Crawling Hand vs. The Crawling Eye. It’s a crawl-off. Gonna be a slow one, folks; you might want to bring some knitting to pass the time.

       11 likes

  39. Deeja (from Robot Holocaust) vs. Natalie (Werewolf) in a diction battle to the death, or when one can no longer form a complete sentence.

       10 likes

  40. Ray Dunakin says:

    The wrestling women from “Racket Girls” vs the catfighting castaways from “Spider Island” vs the brawling brides of “Manos” in an all-out cage match free-for-all!!

       10 likes

  41. Ray Dunakin says:

    The pervy, knife-wielding cowboy from “Thing That Couldn’t Die” vs the pervy, knife-wielding porn addict from “Sinister Urge”.

       6 likes

  42. The Great Crowdini says:

    Russo-Finnish Bra and Panties Match:

    Louhi
    vs
    Baba Yaga

    For the prestigious Wicked Witch of the Wild North Championship!

    First 1500 in attendance gets a Birdleg Tree bobblehead and a Sampo!
    Everyone else gets a barf bag!

       4 likes

  43. mando3b says:

    Ray Dunakin:
    The wrestling women from “Racket Girls” vs the catfighting castaways from “Spider Island” vs the brawling brides of “Manos” in an all-out cage match free-for-all!!

    Don’t forget the Bolarians! Or else they could be cheerleaders.

       3 likes

  44. For the GLOW Champeenship Women’s Wrasslin’ Belt (hubba hubba) – Silver Morgan vs Livia the Witch

    The GLOW undercard because Servo desperately wanted it – Tanya vs Leslie (In Mud)

    Time filling superstar against jobber match – Steve Reeves Hercules vs The One they call Tim

    For the InterMonsternental Belt – Gorgo vs Godzilla

    Finally, your main event – The Brute Man vs The Indestructible Man

       2 likes

  45. I’ll go with Babs from “…spider island” vs. Peaches from “Racket Girls”. A must see on any fight card.

       8 likes

  46. Sitting Duck says:

    Let’s not forget the midget wrestling bout: Toby from The Corpse Vanishes Vs. Imp from The Undead.

       2 likes

  47. Mibbitmaker says:

    MMA Science Theater 3000 presents —

    THE MEN
    Torgo vs. Ortega – You know they’ll fight dirty!

    PLUS – Every character played by Tor Johnson in a (im)pure wrestling match! Another free-for-all!

    THE WOMEN
    The ladies from “Angels’ Revenge” vs. the women from “Swamp Diamonds” – Yet another free-for-all!
    (the winner takes on Kitten With a Whip – may God save their souls!)

    THE MACHINES
    Megaweapon vs. that furshlugginer motor scooter Einstein, both from “Warrior of the Lost World”
    This match billed as “Mega’s Revenge!”

    THE EYES!
    The Eye Creatures vs. the Crawling Eye! This match sponsored by 1950s horror comics.

       5 likes

  48. jay says:

    The Young Couple from “Are You Ready For Marriage” vs. Gilbert from “A Case of Spring Fever” –

    No match, really. After seven straight hours of Gilbert droning on about how a rubber band is really just another spring the couple decides to go their separate ways and join religious orders that ban sex.

       3 likes

  49. Nicki Minaj vs. Cardi B, oh wait.

    Cheesesteak vs. Hercules
    Valaria vs. Natalie from Werewolf in a Battle of the Accents
    Queen Samara vs. Lara from Outlaw of Gor
    Billy from Laserblast vs. Paul from Track of the Moon Beast after they metamorphose
    Beverly Garland vs. any alien in the galaxy

       3 likes

  50. EAG46 says:

    As a longtime wrestling watcher, this is a dream topic. In a Wimpy Boy Match: Buzz from “Mr B Natural” vs Troy from “Final Sacrifice.” Winner gets a “Get out of Wedgies Free” card.

       5 likes

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