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Weekend Discussion Thread: Cell Phones

Alert regular Jay suggests:

Virtually all of the films featured in MST3K are from a time before the advent of cell phones. Both a blessing and a curse cell phones have changed the way the world works. How many times have you been watching an episode and thought, “If they’d only had a cell phone …”. Just imagine the scene where Tanya and Leslie introduce Crenshaw to the wonders of the hand-held internet.

Have at it!

77 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Cell Phones”

  1. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    Rather than trying to kill him or bribe him with hookers, Deaney could have used his phone to shoot video of Mitchell breaking into his house. Deaney sends the video to the media, Mitchell gets thrown off the force and into jail, and no one would have to sit through the movie “Mitchell”. Everybody wins!

       5 likes

  2. Warren
    Ignored
    says:

    Coily: “Nooooo springs!”
    Gilbert: “Yeah, so what. I’ll just pull out my smartphone and call my golfing buddies.”
    Coily: “Yeah, well…. I’ve got one too and I’ll call my friend the microprocessor sprite. He’ll turn off yours and no one else’s.”
    Gilbert: “What about butter and meatloaf?”
    Coily: “NOPE! Those two are in my contact list.”
    Gilbert: “Let’s call a truce. I still haven’t recovered my muscle tone.”

       7 likes

  3. yelling_into_the_void
    Ignored
    says:

    The Undead

    Sir Sack, of Doorknobs isn’t constantly heading back to The Tower of Death looking for Helene.

    Some of you want to go through Livia’s selfies.

    Downside:
    Meg-Maud: Call him down.
    Scroop: HO! PENDRAGON!
    Servo: I could have done that!

    is no longer necessary.

       3 likes

  4. mando3b
    Ignored
    says:

    jay: And where would they carry them?Horseback riding really would be “Owwie-Owwie!Owwie-Owwie!”

    I’m sure the ancient Greeks would have fashioned a holder out of squirrel skin that could hang off the belt next to the sword. They were very clever about that kind of thing

       2 likes

  5. jay
    Ignored
    says:

    mando3b: I’m sure the ancient Greeks would have fashioned a holder out of squirrel skin that could hang off the belt next to the sword. They were very clever about that kind of thing

    One could speculate about ancient squirrel skin jock straps. There’s a joke about squirrels and nuts there that I bequeath to someone else out there.

       4 likes

  6. Kenneth Morgan
    Ignored
    says:

    A cell phone might’ve made a difference in “Final Justice”. Instead of simply tagging along with Geronimo as he tails the bad guys, Officer Elaine Benes could get on her cell and call in to her fellow officers. Thus…

    GERONIMO: Go ahea-
    OFFICER: Stop! Police officers! Raise your hands!
    ELAINE: Bring them in for questioning. They know where we can find Palermo.
    OFFICER: Yes, ma’am. I’m sure they’ll talk rather than go to prison.
    ELAINE: Sheriff, are you all right?
    GERONIMO: Um…uh…go ahead on?

       3 likes

  7. Say No To Yes
    Ignored
    says:

    Quintus showing his cell phone to Livia and attempting to explain it’s functions, while Billy Barty mugs shamelessly for the camera… “I’m an imp!”
    “Yeah Billy, you wanna bring the imping down to, say, a seven or so? That’d be great… thanks.”

       4 likes

  8. Endoplasmic Reticulum
    Ignored
    says:

    With a cell phone, anyone in a Coleman Francis movie could call in strafing fire from light aircraft.

       3 likes

  9. Sitting Duck
    Ignored
    says:

    Audrey Ames in Beginning of the End wouldn’t need that car phone.

       3 likes

  10. Yeti of Great Danger
    Ignored
    says:

    Sitting Duck:
    Audrey Ames in Beginning of the End wouldn’t need that car phone.

    But, but…. it was so COOL!

       3 likes

  11. jay
    Ignored
    says:

    REVENGE OF THE CREATURE –

    After he gets rotenoned and then awakens on the deck of the boat the Creature pulls out his waterproof cell phone. Never mind where he keeps it. In the spirit of an old Tarzan movie The Creature recruits the Amazon locals who are all his buddies to sneak up on the lagoon. Suddenly the air is filled with flying blow darts. “Ooooh” and the crew falls to the deck.
    They awaken in a native village seated in theater seats made of jungle vines. The seats are facing a large screen satellite tv in front of which sits The Creature with a pair of walking catfish and they are riffing on old Nestor Paiva movies. In the increasing gloom of the deep Amazon sunset all the kidnapped crew can see is Creech and Cats’ darkened outlines in glare of the screen. There is a running joke about tree frogs that only the right creatures will get.

       6 likes

  12. mando3b
    Ignored
    says:

    If anybody needed cellphones, it’s the crew on the Southern Sun in Space Mutiny: they’re all in the same spaceship, but seem to be miles apart from one another, and they can only communicate via wall-mounted monitors or “land” lines (sic). Cameron Mitchell would have an easier time exerting his authority, he’d have more of a clue about what’s going on in the Southern Sun’s other time zones, and Sherri’s birthday party would be much easier to plan. Actually, it’s rather surprising that they don’t have cellphones–after all, from those wall-mounted keyboards, we can see it’s THE FUTURE!!, and what’s more cutting-edge than cellphones and a good plan with lots of data and unlimited talk and text?

       4 likes

  13. Brock Lee Rubberband
    Ignored
    says:

    With a smartphone, Serafina could keep in touch with Paul Anka 24-7! She could also go everywhere he goes online. She could call all his friends at any time of the day. She could see what his house looks like on Google street view. Maybe she could send some nice pictures of herself to Paul. Maybe some in that nightie? She could learn the movements of Paul’s beefy security nuns so that she can visit when they’re not there.

       7 likes

  14. GareChicago
    Ignored
    says:

    All the old friends from The Brute Man would’ve been on the same Facebook group and probably would have noticed a pattern of their friends getting Creeper-ed/Back-Broken-ed/Brute-d.

    Plus they also might’ve noticed that Hal now has a face like a catcher’s mitt.

    G

       5 likes

  15. GareChicago
    Ignored
    says:

    Hal Moffet Tweeted: “Ugh.. I’m wiped out.. busy day of back breaking, plus someone shot my Little Sizzler off…”

    G

       4 likes

  16. GareChicago
    Ignored
    says:

    Oh hey, there’s a WDT for you Sampo – Tweets that a MST character might’ve sent.

    G

       1 likes

  17. Sitting Duck
    Ignored
    says:

    All those characters in Radar Men from the Moon could have called an Uber when their vehicles get destroyed for the sake of a cliffhanger ending.

       2 likes

  18. Torque the Dorque
    Ignored
    says:

    I think Henry Krasker could have used a cell phone to contact the dead. He could call, text, Instagram or at least get VMs from them..

       4 likes

  19. jay
    Ignored
    says:

    SCREAMING SKULL –

    Someone who knows a lot more about the subject than I do (which is pretty easy) told me that there is a Screaming Skull video game out there. No word if golf clubs are involved.

       3 likes

  20. Cornjob
    Ignored
    says:

    The Master could always call or instant message Torgo to remind him that he, “has failed us”. But that’s assuming he didn’t disAProve of such deVICES.

       4 likes

  21. Sitting Duck
    Ignored
    says:

    jay:
    SCREAMING SKULL –

    Someone who knows a lot more about the subject than I do (which is pretty easy) told me that there is a Screaming Skull video game out there.

    Could be confusing it with the Manos game, which IIRC has the Screaming Skull as one of the boss monsters.

       2 likes

  22. jay
    Ignored
    says:

    Sitting Duck: Could be confusing it with the Manos game, which IIRC has the Screaming Skull as one of the boss monsters.

    I bow to your expertise in both video games and screaming skulls. All the skulls I have encountered have been quiet. Dead quiet

       3 likes

  23. mando3b
    Ignored
    says:

    jay: I bow to your expertise in both video games and screaming skulls.All the skulls I have encountered have been quiet.Dead quiet

    Actually, all the skulls in the movie are silent, too–they get tossed around, sit on the grass and bite people on the neck, but they don’t make any noise.

       2 likes

  24. yelling_into_the_void
    Ignored
    says:

    mando3b: Actually, all the skulls in the movie are silent, too–they get tossed around, sit on the grass and bite people on the neck, but they don’t make any noise.

    The Screaming; Skull

       2 likes

  25. mando3b
    Ignored
    says:

    jay: One could speculate about ancient squirrel skin jock straps.There’s a joke about squirrels and nuts there that I bequeath to someone else out there.

    Jay, we could indeed speculate about squirrel-skin jock straps, but let’s not. Please! The visuals such speculation provokes are most disturbing. (“So, what do we do with the head? How ’bout that bushy tail? . . . “)

       1 likes

  26. mando3b
    Ignored
    says:

    yelling_into_the_void: The Screaming; Skull

    The Yelling: Into the Void (Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)

       1 likes

  27. jay
    Ignored
    says:

    mando3b: The Yelling: Into the Void (Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)

    https://screamintothevoid.com/

       1 likes

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