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Weekend Discussion Thread: GOOD Performances by Actresses in MSTed Movies

Part two of the discussion of that rare animal: the GOOD performance in a MSTed movie. This one’s for the l-l-l-l-l-l-ladies.

I didn’t have to think hard about this one: My pick is Beverly Garland, especially in “It Conquered the World.” Beverly is believable, genuine and sympathetic, despite acting opposite a giant pickle.

Who would be your pick?

94 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: GOOD Performances by Actresses in MSTed Movies”

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  1. dafs says:

    I’m probably gonna get balked at for this one, but I like the nun in Future War. I think her performance (at least in the first half of the movie) is kind of understated, and really works with the whole “suffering in silence” aspect. Then, of course, the dinosaur puppets show up, and anything that resembles subtlety flies out the window.

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  2. smirkboy says:

    Uh-THE BEATLES!!!…Oh wait,

    Dolores Faith, when I first saw her in HUMAN DUPLICATORS, I was sure she was Suzanne Pleshette. (Well, maybe her niece)

    Then in Season 9 she was in PHANTOM PLANET and I was fully convinced she was a mute person who could only regain speech after being terrorized by a giant dog-like alien.

    I also thought she really cute.

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  3. adoptadog says:

    I agree with Sampo on his choice of Beverly Garland, though I’ll choose her performance in The Gunslinger specifically. I thought she did a very fine job with a so-so story.

    I’ll also add Allison Hayes, in pretty much every role, though particularly The Unearthly and Gunslinger.

    (And I nominate Gunslinger as the heaviest nexus of MSTied cast & crew – Garland, Hayes, Haze, VeSota, Corman….)

    As for not-a-real-actress-but-maybe-there’s-hope, I’d suggest Jo Canterbury (Betty) from Teenage Strangler, who, through all the major overacting, showed a few moments of honest potential.

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  4. Beerbarrel Papolka says:

    My vote goes to Carlyn Kearney from episode 805-The Thing That Couldn’t Die. She basically played two different roles in the movie and played them both convicingly. First as the naive and innocent young psychic. Then as the evil “seductress” when she fell under the spell. It added a tiny bit of flair to an otherwise incredibly dull film.

    Also, I wanted to make a brief comment on last weeks topic since I didn’t get a chance to submit anything. I thought Bela Lugosi was good in The Corpse Vanishes. I can’t imagine how dull that film would have been without him.

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  5. Professor Gunther says:

    Susan Gordon from TORMENTED. Mr. BIG’s daughter out-acted them all, even Lou Reed.

    #2: Great choice, and for all the reasons you mentioned!

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  6. RockyJones says:

    I have to agree with both Sampo and #5: Professor Gunther…

    Beverly Garland is outstanding in “It Conquered the World”. She does a great job of conveying how her frustration slowly changes to desparation as the story progresses. She’s the most interesting character in the movie.

    And…I’ve always thought that Susan Gordon was one of the most natural child actors I’ve ever seen. She wasn’t just a cute little robot, parrotting back memorized lines…you could tell that she actually “got it”.

    And, I guess I’d also have to admit that Allison Hayes was pretty darned good in just about everything she did, too…even “Attack of the 50 Foot Woman”.

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  7. Gulliver says:

    I’d like to put in a word for Gloria Talbott (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0847993/), who Crow accuses of being a Romulan in GIRL’S TOWN. As silly as that movie is, a lot of the performances in it are actually quite good (such as Elinor Donohue’s), and like Gene Hackman, Gloria Talbott was good in everything — including scores of TV appearances and A-list movies like WE’RE NO ANGELS with Humphrey Bogart, and B pictures like the hugely underrated I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE. But getting back to MST3K, she was also THE LEECH WOMAN, and she even does her best with that script. Gloria was wonderful. (Okay, obviously I’ve had a big crush on her for years. Shut up.)

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  8. Nicolletta says:

    I’ll have to say Coleen Gray in “Leech Woman”. Can’t say much about the film itself, but Coleen did the best she could with what she had and turned in a rather believable performance.

    Also have to give a shout-out to Helena Abella in “Final Justice”. She made it through a Greydon Clark film with her dignity intact, and that takes talent!

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  9. ck says:

    I thought that Della Street did well in The Giant Spider of Savings at Bernard’s in playing the role straight (for a “different” acting approach see The Skipper).

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  10. MPSh says:

    I nominate Embly Mumbly, or whatever her name was, who played Melissa “This is Where the Fish Lives” Strickland in “Touch of Satan”. She put in a good (if soporific) performance. She certainly out-acted Michael Berry as Jodie “TZAAHH!” Thompson. Then again, he was out-acted by most of the furniture in the movie.

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  11. Nicias says:

    Add in my vote for Coleen Gray. I know that lots of folks like Allison Hayes, and she is good, but I think that Colleen Grey is both prettier and a better actress. She does bitter, scheming and seductive very well. While it was a goofy movie, she showed considerable range as an actress in “Leech Woman.”

    My other top choice is of course Joyce Meadows as Carrie in “The Girl in Lovers Lane.” She managed to play sweet and innocent without it being cloying, something that is not easy to do. Folks probably wouldn’t consider the ending of that film so very depressing had she not developed the audience’s strong attachment and sympathy for her character.

    I could probably go on; there are actually a number of actresses that did pretty well in MST3K movies. Far more potential choices than there were for good male performers. I agree that Gloria Talbot is always good, and Beverly Garland is a no-brainer.

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  12. ck says:

    Indeed, how could Helena Abella be overlooked, achieving the difficult acting feat of appearing to be attracted to Joe Don Baker’s character. :shock:

    (Go ahead on).

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  13. Not to sound derivative of previous posts, but I’m going to also go with Beverly Garland, Allison Hayes, and Susan Gordon. Susan Gordan, as previously stated, is probably one of the most natural child actors I’ve seen, so perhaps she’s the most impressive for that fact alone.

    Still, Beverly and Allison were both really great in “Gunslinger” despite the relative blandness of the plot. It’s a pretty watchable movie. They’re both very likable actresses too from what I know; didn’t Bev appear live at one of the MST3K conventio-cons? I call that quite sporting. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve always had a weakness for that 50 foot woman.

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  14. John says:

    I have to go with Beverly Garland and Allison Hayes in ‘Gunslinger’, Joyce Meadows as Carrie in ‘Girl in Lovers Lane’, and the actress who played Teri in ‘Teenage Crime Wave’.

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  15. Bob T. Fatherbot says:

    I would like to nominate Mary Beth Hughes as Kitty in I Accuse My Parents.

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  16. Iggy Pop's Brother Steve Pop says:

    The ones that popped first to my mind (Garland and Hayes in “Gunslinger,” Gray in “Leech Woman”) have already popped to others’.

    So I’ll go way out in left field and nominate Virginia “Jan in the Pan” Leith from “The Brain that Wouldn’t Die.” I thought, under the circumstances, she was quite understated and natural as a woman squishily in love, and then as an initially horrified head in a pan who proceeds to go quite, quite mad.

    By the way, am I the only one who has trouble getting the titles of 513 and 805 straight? “Now, is this the one who wouldn’t die, or couldn’t die?”

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  17. klisch says:

    The young witch in A Touch of Satan. When she said the line, “this is where the fish lives” I actually believed her.

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  18. nekouken says:

    Sometimes contrast is all that’s called for. Imagine, for a moment, that Tony Zarindast had reversed the casting for Natalie Burke and Carrie the pantsless woman. That alone might have made the movie several orders of magnitude better. Not that she’s really all that great shakes, but since she and the screaming girl with the pre-muddied dress are the only other women in the movie, one works with what one has.

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  19. Fart Bargo says:

    Samson Vs the Vampire Woman-the really cute dish (Thundra?) who was telling the vampiric three stooges, Los Tres Chiflados, what to do all the time. She was very slinky, great expressive eyes, carried command well despite the sometimes goofy translation and script I thought did a great job. When you consider she overcame dubbing, translation, script and direction handicaps she should win hands down!

    I can not kick about Beverly Garland though. She brings a great feistiness to every role she takes on. So I guess I nominate Thundra? for a single performance and Bev for a Lifetime Achievement.

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  20. Gary Carbo says:

    Three words… Dennis Ray Steckler – The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? Scared the **** out of me!

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  21. trickymutha says:

    Roxy! (and elsewhere) from EEGAH

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  22. Ann Margaret in Kitten with a Whip. Maybe it isn’t fair to put an actual actress in here who was just slumming in a B picture, but she plays a real good psycho!

    Agree with everyone about Beverly Garland, and also Allison Hayes always plays a cool, sexy lady in her mst appearances.

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  23. KJB says:

    I’ll second Carolyn Kearney from “The Thing That Wouldn’t Die.” Her “evil” scenes could have been a total joke, but she really did sell them. Too bad she didn’t go on to do more.

    I’ll also chip in Linda Griffiths from “Overdrawn At The Memory Bank.” Sure, most of the movie was a total mess, but she did a solid job with what she was given and actually had some decent chemistry with Raul Julia. If you want to see her in a good movie, check out “Lianna.”

    (And I’ll add Emby Mellay while I’m at it, mainly because I think she was cute as hell. Wonder whatever happened to her?)

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  24. The correct answer, as has been said, is Beverly Garland in everything.

    I’d like to mention Bonnie Baken, though, since no one else has. She played Judy in Young Man’s Fancy. I looked her up – she didn’t have much of a career. But I think she gives Young Man’s Fancy nearly all its entertainment value (in a sitcommy sort of way).

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  25. Gary Bowden says:

    Beverly Garland in It Conquered the World and Gunslinger.Joyce Meadows in Girl in Lovers Lane.Coleen Gray in The Leech Woman..I can’t think of the actress’s name,but she was in The Deadly Bees.She was the singer…Gloria Talbott in The Leech Woman and in Girls Town,though she had a small role..

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  26. Chuck says:

    Beverly Garland gave a feisty, believable quality in everything she played, no matter how much drek surrounded her.

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  27. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    Allison Hayes and Beverly Garland were both believable and capable, but my vote goes for Yvette Vickers as that fiesty firecracker Liz Baby from Attack of the Giant Leeches. I can’t say much about the actors who played the leeches, though. I thought they sucked! :razz:

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  28. Loran Alan Davis says:

    My vote goes to Peggy Webber. She played the frustrated housewife in Space Children and the tormented wife in The Screaming Skull.

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  29. I’m going to agree with #22’s vote of Ann-Margret. Not only the best MST3K actress, but also, easily the hottest.

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  30. trickymutha says:

    Yup- changed my mind too- Ann Margaret as Jody-Jody is hot!

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  31. crowschmo says:

    Okay, I guess I’ll have to be boring and pick Beverly Garland and Susan Gordon as well.

    But well, they WERE the best out of slim pickin’s. Not many GOOD performances by anyone in any of these movies.

    Bev can sell it, even when surrounded by schlock.

    And little Sandy did the best job in Tormented, and is the least annoying child actor in any of these MSTed movies.

    Though, remember – Pia Zadora DID win a Golden Globe, people. :roll:

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  32. crowschmo says:

    Also remember – we’re going for acting, not hotness.

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  33. monoceros4 says:

    Since the movies have been pretty well covered, let me nominate Best Actress in a Short: Betty Luster from “Mr. B Natural”. Yes, the whole concept is creepy from start to finish but Ms. Luster gives it her all.

    In the movies I’d almost nominate Jean Fontaine’s bitchy performance in The Sinister Urge. Gloria Henderson must surely be one of the most memorable characters from any MST3K movie. The problem is that when Fontaine isn’t playing bitchy she’s flat and unconvincing. Listen to her smooth-talking Johnny Ryde right at the end just as she’s planning to murder him. Good thing that Johnny was played by a Martian so he didn’t notice how stiff Fontaine’s line readings were.

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  34. jim hardcheese says:

    oh no! where did it go?

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  35. Timber says:

    Beverly Garland is an obvious (and good) choice. Going outside of that, I have to give out a shout to Katherine Victor from the Wild Wild World of Batwoman. Stuck having to throw her own ‘costume’ together at the last second for a part that was poorly defined and written in a movie that made no sense, she still manages to try to wring a tiny bit of dignity out of it. Was it an Oscar-worthy performance? No. But she took horse dung and tried her best to make lemonade, and for that she gets a shout-out from me.

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  36. arch hall 3 says:

    I’ll let you guess the 2 BIG reasons I choose Mamie Van Doren from eposode # 601 Girls Town as my choice! :lol:

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  37. arch hall 3 says:

    And NO they are not obvious! :grin:

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  38. OnenuttyTanuki says:

    I’m going to say Kumi Mizuno , Daiyo in Godzilla vs. the Sea monster.
    The dubbing not with stand, I’ve always been a fan of hers.

    But, also, Beverly Garland in It Conquered the World.

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  39. Ryan says:

    I second Mr. B. I mean, I really do feel the psycosis eminating him. I also second “The Mute Girl”, and Melissa “No Sheds” Strickland, especially when you compare the cardboard cutouts they have to work with.

    I give props to ‘Batwoman’ in the fact that she actually looks like she is living the role, despite looking like a sexchanged vegas candygirl.

    And yes, another concur for BG in GS.

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  40. rcfagnan says:

    Peaches from “Racket Girls!” I actually BELIEVED she was a not-to-sharp neophyte lady wrestler! Okay, seriously, if I have to pick someone not already mentioned, I would go with the Russian Actress (and her dub voice counterpart) who played Nastinka (sp?) in “Jack Frost,” which is still probably my favorite episode of the whole series.

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  41. CityLimitsFan says:

    What about Kim Cattrall? I thought she was believable as the initially loyal corporate employee Dr. Wickings, who discovers the corruption and evil behind the benevolent mask of the fascistic Sunya Corporation and later joins the Clipper and D.A. rebels.

    I mean she was no Liam Neeson in “Schindler’s List,” but it was a perfectly defensible performance for what it was.

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  42. NoOneOfConsequence says:

    Aw, ya gotta give some recognition to Linda Evans in Mitchell for being able to supress what must have been an overPOWERING gag reflex during her “love” scenes with Joe Don Baker. I mean… that’s ACTING!

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  43. Murder Most Moist says:

    So far, its been Beverly in Gunslinger and ICTW. But how about Swamp Diamonds? Not to detract from either of her two previously mentioned stellar performances, I believe that a good measure for acting ability is how well an actor/actress handles an “evil role” and Beverly added just the right amount of psycho in her role as Vera. And as far as “hotness” goes, remember she had a guest spot with Adam West during the ’94 Turkey Day Marathon, and yes, she STILL looked incredibly HOT!

    Abby Dalton and the “Evil Priestess” in “Viking Women Vs. The Sea Serpent” were pretty good (good and pretty too).

    As far as relatively unknowns, Carolyn Kearney in “The Thing That Wouldn’t Die” and Emby Mellay in “Touch Of Satan” get my vote.

    And in the case of lesser knowns filling supporting roles, Elinor Donohue & Gloria Talbott in Girl’s Town definitely get my vote.

    re: #1 dafs – Compare her performance in that ENTIRE movie to any of the actresses in #622 “Angel’s Revenge” and she look quite good.

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  44. RockyJones says:

    Yep, #42…sure gotta agree with that! Linda Evans should’ve gotten combat pay and a chest full of medals for living thru that revolting ordeal! I’ll bet she probably still suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder.

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  45. Carolyn says:

    Jan in the Pan from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.

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  46. Robin Hood: Prince of Feebs says:

    Beverly Garland for the win of course!
    I also thought that Peggie Castle (Beginning of the End, Invasion USA) was a decent actress, who was at least above the stuff she was cast in.
    Finally, Linda Evans’ got nothing on the evil queen from Outlaw of Gor for her scene with Watney. She actually managed to do a take w/out vomiting. Also, I’m partial to the character she plays cuz her main role is to kill and torture the rest of the cast. At the very least she comes across as a not-overly-bright gold-digger, which is basically what the role calls for.

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  47. beth563 says:

    Buzz’s sister in The Girl in Gold Boots.
    Either she was on drugs during the making of the movie, or she knew how to play it way too good.

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  48. NoOneOfConsequence says:

    Yes, Donna Denton deserves combat pay as well for Outlaw of Gor and Watney, but at least her scenes with him were mercifully short. The Mitchell scene went on for a whole song! To quote Tom, “my-my-My-MY GOD!”

    Oh, and the baby oil… The baby oil! [retch]

    PS. Funny, #44, “combat pay” is exactly the phrase I was thinking when I wrote that post too. :smile:

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  49. courteous martian says:

    Definitely Kathy Ireland in Alien From L.A. And no, that’s not her real voice. Completely convincing performance.

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  50. Titanius Anglesmith, Fancy Man of Cornwood says:

    Aside from Beverly Garland, I take it? I’ll go with Tia Carrere in “Zombie Nightmare” or Jessica from “The Thing That Couldn’t Die.” To quote Benny Hill, a woman like that could ruin a man…if he was lucky!

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