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Episode Guide: 417- Crash of Moons (with short: ‘General Hospital’–Segment 3)

Short: (1963) From the soap opera “General Hospital,” Cynthia and Phil have it out.
Movie: (1954) Edited-together episodes of the TV series “Rocky Jones, Space Ranger.” Our hero tries to save the inhabitants of two worlds that are about to collide, but evil Queen Cleolanta stands in his way.

First shown: 11/28/92
Opening: Crow is selling true grit
Invention exchange: The Mads present Sugary Deep 13 toothpaste; J&tB demonstrate the rock & wreck guitar
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom serenade Gypsy with “The Gypsy Moons”
Host segment 2: J&tB present a commercial for John Banner-grams
Host segment 3: J&tB read through Crow’s latest screenplay: a space opera
End: Joel reads a letter, John Banner visits on the Hexfield; then the SOL sends Deep 13 a Banner-gram
Stinger: “Boopie!”
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (197 votes, average: 4.22 out of 5)


• A lot of folks love this one and it definitely has a lot going for it besides the aggressive geniality of John Banner. This is the most bearable of the three GH segments and its also the most fun of the Rocky Jones outings, so it’s basically watchable all the way through. Combine that with pretty decent host segments and some strong riffing and you’ve got a winner.
• This episode is included in Shout! Factory’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol. XVIII.”
• A commenter noticed something I never did before: there’s no “the” on the title card. (Maybe that’s where they got the extra “the” in “Attack of the the Eye Creatures?”) Anyway, in keeping with our policy to list the title as it appears on the title card, the header has now been changed.
• The 1992 Turkey Day marathon was over, but this was the third new episode in four days. MSTies had a wonderful weekend.
• I remember seeing ads when I was a kid trying to get me to sell Grit. But I’ve never seen it on news stands or anything. It’s still around. Is it a Midwestern thing?
• Dr. F’s invention is extra evil this week. Conversely, Joel’s doesn’t look that well-put-together.
• Nice to see they called an unofficial moratorium on “Oh, is the great [name here] going to direct?” riff. Funny back in season two, but…
• I love Crow’s riff: “Orbit? What does that mean?” a reference to the painful explanation of what an orbit is in a previous Rocky Jones episode.
• Callback: “Yew and yor dawtah aw doomt!” (Robot Holocaust) “But you don’t love Ken.” (An almost instant callback to the General Hospital short minutes earlier.) “Not since Fire Maidens of Outer Space…”
• Great song in this episode, but note the then-current reference to Stacy Koon. Yow. Another then-current reference: “Say the secret word and Bill Cosby rips off your show.” I’d totally forgotten Bill Cosby’s miserable attempt to revive “You Bet Your Life.”
• Firesign Theatre reference: “He’s not your son, Fred.”
• Dumb movie question: The space station doesn’t have any ability to propel itself? Not even some little thruster rockets? Seems like a design flaw. Or a plot contrivance.
• Occasionally you pick up a new word from these movies. I’d never heard of a “suzerain” before.
• Is it just me or is Cleolanta kinda hot? Headstrong and evil, sure, but still, rrowr.
• Only after repeat viewings did it hit me why the symbol of Bavaro’s world is a lightning bolt–’cause the planet has lightning a lot of the time. I never made the connection before.
• Satellite News’ Erhardt, dressed as Bavaro, introduced this episode in the 1993 Turkey Day bumpers.
• I like Tom Servo’s beak moving as he reads over Joel’s shoulder. Mike is so klandinkto as John Banner! (Hi, Bavaro.)
• Joel says “Gimme that pinkle, Weekie!” They keep going.
• Cast and crew roundup: Naturally, many of the same people who worked on “Manhunt in Space” also worked on this one, including executive producer Guy V. Thayer Jr., producer Roland Reed, associate producer Arthur Pierson, director Hollingsworth Morse, assistant director Dick Moder, editors Fred Maguire and S. Roy Luby, special effects guy Jack R. Glass (who also worked on “Project Moon Base”), costumer Berman Costumes, production manager Richard L’Estrange, art director McClure Capps, sound guy Joel Moss (who also worked on “Project Moon Base”) and music Conductor Alexander Laszlo (who also worked on “Attack of the Giant Leeches and “Night of the Blood Beast”).
In front of the camera, there’s Richard Crane, Scotty Beckett, Sally Mansfield, Robert Lyden, Maurice Cass, Charles Meredith, Patsy Parsons and Harry Lauter, all from “Manhunt in Space.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Kevin Murphy. Sarah E. Wisner joins the staff as production assistant, Ellie McDonough’s old role before her recent promotion. Patrick Brantseg joins the staff as prop assistant, after interning for the first half of the season. This was intern Kelly Ann Nathe’s last episode. “Ammendment” is still spelled wrong.
• Fave riff from the short: “Would you folks break it up? Your party’s depressing everyone in the building.” Honorable mention: “How can you not love a skull like this?”
• Fave riff: “Horowitz is visibly shaken…” Honorable mention: “…would get beat up in the third grade.”

110 Replies to “Episode Guide: 417- Crash of Moons (with short: ‘General Hospital’–Segment 3)”

  1. crowschmo says:

    I never have anything insightful to say about these episodes, I just quote favorite riffs. Oh, well. What’re ya gonna do?

    faves from short:

    “God, I’m unappealing.” – Crow
    “The depressing thing is, is this is in color.” – Joel
    “You know, there’s not a gifted conversationalist in the whole group.” – Joel
    “Every time I get engaged, you do this to me.” – Crow
    “You wiped your feet on the doormat of my heart.” – Servo
    “Life getting you down? Headache pain? Try booze.” – Crow

    faves from “movie”:

    “It’s pretty slow for a rocket” – Joel
    “I’m using my space voice.” – Joel
    “Hi, space honey! I’m home!” – Crow
    “Maybe he thinks he’s too good for us – well, SCREW Rocky!” – Crow
    “And back fill the story for the audience – they have NO idea what’s going on.” – Crow
    “He’s a queer duck.” – Joel
    “Why does he have to take orders from a bus driver?” – Crow
    “Sorry about your death sentence, hon. BUH-bye.” – Joel
    “Yeah, right, he has to appear unconscious and look like two people.” – Joel
    “Rotunda? – Hey I’m just big boned.” – Servo
    “Get ready for: NO ACTION!” – Servo
    “HAT thrust?” – Crow
    “You know, I’d be relieved if I knew what was happening.” – Joel
    “Welcome to our cardboard home!” – Servo
    “Bye, Vena! Have fun at German camp!” – Crow
    “Even in the future, booze satisfies.” – Crow
    “Not since Fire Maidens from Outer Space has there been a ladder scene so compelling.” – Servo
    (Cleolanta: “Alert the guards!”) W-we ARE the guards.” – Joel
    “Ew, yuck! You can see Rocky’s whole area!” – Servo
    “Tripping – still works in the future.” – Joel
    “You know, he could take Winky out right now and no one would know.” – Crow
    “Stand by for more – inaction.” – Servo
    “We’ll be right back right after this: We’re back.” – Servo
    “You know, their luggage will probably end up on Jupiter – THANK YOU!” – Joel



  2. trickymutha says:

    “Is it just me or is Cleolanta kinda hot? Headstrong and evil, sure, but still, rrowr.”
    Yes she is. Hot hot hot.


  3. Ray Dunakin says:

    Funny story about “Grit”…

    Back when I was in junior high (sometime during the Late Cretaceous period), we had a neighbor who was very prudish and uptight. I was at her house one day when some poor kid came by trying to sell her a subscription to Grit. She’d never heard of it, and suspiciously asked the kid what kind of publication it was. Like most of us, he was not very sure exactly what it was himself — probably hadn’t even seen an issue of it yet.

    His lack of a sufficient explanation was enough to confirm her suspicions. She said, and I quote: “Grit is another word for dirt, so it must be a dirty smut magazine!”


  4. thequietman says:

    I’m particularly fond of this one because it’s one of my earliest MST3K memories. I sometimes caught my parents watching the show on Comedy Central and I vividly remember the “Deep 13 Toothpaste” sketch, especially Frank just chugging it straight from the tube. I must admit, for my 9-year old self, Dr. F had me sold on chocolaty sweet dental care! All these years later it was such a delight to see it again on the Shout! dvd and tonight I nearly choked on my dinner laughing.

    Does anyone wonder if this movie is actually set before the events of “Manhunt in Space”? Because here Cleolanta is content to stay and rule over her planet while in ‘Manhunt’ she appears to be a roving space criminal.

    Finally, count me among those who wish they’d chosen to do more soap opera episodes. The way they’re edited, there’s no need for riffing on the same exact credits time after time, and they set themselves up for jokes so well. The segment in this episode almost overshadowed the movie for me, with a great payoff to all the jokes in the previous segment about that brick wheel of a cake when our leading lady drops it and Servo makes noises like it’s crashing through multiple ceilings.

    Fave riff:
    Doughy doctor: You DON’T love Ken…
    Servo: Like “I” love Ken!


  5. Sitting Duck says:

    @ #104: According to IMDB, the episodes that make up Manhunt in Space aired in May 1954, while the Crash of the Moons episodes aired in July 1954.


  6. bad wolf says:

    I’d never thought about it until I saw the picture of Patsy Parsons over at, where she appears to have been a stunning redhead! Makes more sense with her ‘fiery temper’ and all that.

    Maybe I should start to judge the movies based on whether the actresses have red hair? We could call it the BadWolf test! I should really start rating these movies every week based on this criterion. Okay, Crash of the Moons Passes the BadWolf Test.


  7. Sitting Duck says:

    Regarding the way that Banner’s character keeps calling Bobby, “Booby”. Around that time, booby was a term for a dullard, in essence that period’s equivalent of dumbarse. I like to think he was intentionally doing it. Wouldn’t you?


  8. fireballil says:

    Sitting Duck:
    @ #104: According to IMDB, the episodes that make up Manhunt in Space aired in May 1954, while the Crash of the Moons episodes aired in July 1954.

    I went to and the they listed for the episodes were July 6, 13, and 20, 1954.


  9. fireballil says:

    Previous post: I meant ‘the dates listed for the episodes.’ Oops. :-(


  10. Prime Minister Jm J. Bullock says:

    Crash Of The Moons is on…


Comments are closed.