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Sampo & Erhardt

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Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

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Episode guide: 1007- Track of the Moon Beast

Movie: (1976) A New Mexico mineralogist is struck by a meteor, and is transformed into a mindless humanoid-lizard monster.

First shown: June 13, 1999
Opening: Crow and Tom are blossoming everything
Intro: Mike attempts to escape using a remote-control Bobo
Host segment 1: The bots rush the Halloween season, and hollow embarrassment ensues
Host segment 2: This week on Legends of Rock: The Band That Played “California Lady.”
Host segment 3: Crow and Tom rig a remote camera, and catch a glimpse of Mike’s disturbing bedtime routines
End: Tom has injured a baby satellite, but soon all is well; Brain Guy and a brain-exposed Bobo bond, much to Pearl’s displeasure
Stinger: “Moon rocks? Oh, wow!”
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (301 votes, average: 4.61 out of 5)

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• I like this one a lot. The movie is only marginally watchable and on this viewing I really noticed what a mostly placid, quiet little movie this is, which gives the riffers a lot of elbow room. It’s a classic example (“Teenage Strangler” is another one) of a group of people who got together in a town to make a movie, and didn’t really know what they were doing. The riffing is solid and just about all the segments are a lot of fun.
• This episode is included in Shout’s “MST3K: Volume XXXVIII.”
• Mike offers some thoughts here.
• References are here.
• Once again, props to the prop makers for the exquisitely blossomed objects.
• Servo’s head is still blossomed in theater and Mike crunches on some while watching the movie.
• In his comments, Mike makes reference to the classic moment where Johnny Longbow recites the ingredients of his stew recipe with a level of world-weariness more befitting the reading of a will. From that point on, they just won’t let the stew jokes go.
• The intro segment definitely has a late season 5 feel. It’s been a while since “bringing the satellite down” was the goal of a scheme.
• Mike’s face in segment 1 is classic; complete neutrality in the face of Crow’s increasing embarrassment and humiliation. Those pea pods look good, too. Oh, and this time I noticed that Tom’s arm is taped around Gypsy.
• Segment 2 is another gem, perfectly capturing those nostalgia/biography shows.
• Segment 3 is probably the weakest of the episode, but the Mike’s little puppet show on his bed is worth the price of admission. And I guess this is our one and only look into Mike’s bedroom.
• Fans have tracked down Frank Larrabee, the lead singer (aka the fish-lipped guy) in the band that played California Lady. He still lives in New Mexico and is a professional Appaloosa breeder. Fans who’ve tried to contact him for some backstage remembrances have gotten no replies, Maybe he didn’t appreciate being called “the fish-lipped guy.” No word on the eskimo and the friendly looking backup singer.
• Riffs that made you want to slap them: “His pants are Hagar, and they’re horrible.”
• Cast and crew roundup: Screenwriters William Finger and Charles Sinclair also worked on “The Green Slime.” Special effects makeup guy Joe Blasco did makeup for “Parts: The Clonus Horror” and “The Touch of Satan.” Special effects guy Rick Baker (who was uncredited here) also worked on “The Incredible Melting Man” and “Squirm.”
• CreditsWatch: Directed by Mike. A Bill Gibb is listed, along with Brad, as an editor for this episode and three more after it. Ed Dykhuizen and Sarah Lemanczyk begin their stint as interns that continues to the end of the season, except for one episode.
• Fave riff: “I need a wheat penny and a Glock.” Honorable mention: “They shot two klieg lights and a gaffer.”

182 Replies to “Episode guide: 1007- Track of the Moon Beast”

  1. Thad Boyd says:

    Eric Fell:
    Fun fact: Screenwriter Bill Finger is the uncredited co-creator of Batman! He also co-created The Penguin, The Green Lantern, Calendar Man… onions…

    Four years later and Finger is no longer uncredited; today, the credit reads “Batman created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger.” For those who haven’t seen it, I recommend watching the documentary Batman and Bill; it’s on Hulu.

    I haven’t watched this episode in years; I had no idea it was a Finger/Sinclair screenplay. Fascinating stuff.

       2 likes

  2. thequietman says:

    Wow, things sure are happening over in that direction…

    I guess I’m the odd man out this time around, since this one is just ‘good, not great’ to me. It certainly has its moments but it’s just a little too laid-back and eventually it starts to drag. Watching it again tonight however I noticed for the first time both Servo and Gypsy have their arms around each other while Crow rushes the Halloween season. I guess Gypsy decided to make herself an arm instead of another foot after vanquishing Servo in “Future War”.

    Otherwise, this was a pleasant, indeed placid, little episode.

    Fave riffs
    Thanks for the stereotype music!

    “What are you doing out here?”
    I’m stuck to the chaise-lounge!

       1 likes

  3. Terry the Sensitive Knight says:

    “I’m wearing terrycloth, need anything absorbed?”

       1 likes

  4. Sitting Duck says:

    Track of the Moon Beast fails the Bechdel Test. None of the female characters converse with each other, with Kathy being the sole speaking female for the bulk of the film.

    Controlling Bobo with a universal remote brings to mind the use of a voodoo doll to prank Dr. F. in Zombie Nightmare. Pearl was just asking for it.

    HS1 is another example of them doing something too well. In this case, emphasizing how lame and awkward the prank in the movie was. Though Crow’s descent into self-loathing made for a decent punch line.

    Not often you see fake blood that unconvincing.

    For those of you who lived through the Seventies, what was the deal with the home décor back then?

    Unlucky for Paul that the gun shop guy had the radio on K-PLOT.

    Since when is a dirt track designated a state road, even in New Mexico?

    Gummo:
    And if the set of this movie wasn’t awash in cocaine, then I’m Joel Hodgson.

    Considering the locale, maybe peyote.

    Favorite riffs

    Quite an elaborate set-up just to peep on his neighbor.

    “I’d like to get some night shots of this area.”
    I’ll give you a night shot of an area.

    “Lizard won the argument.”
    And Coyote battled Roadrunner

    “Although we’ve got a lot more air pollution than we used to.”
    Since we ate Johnny’s stew.

    She gets off the ground saying, “What happened?” a lot.

    “We’re right in the area where they’re due to fall.”
    They have every right to kill us.

    “We might get a better answer from the Paleontology Department at the university.”
    Or the Meat Department at Ralph’s.

    J.C. Penny Hookerwear. For the casual hooker at work, rest, or play.

    “Come on, Johnny Longbow. I’d like to see you live up to your name.”
    Hi-Yo! Get the kids out of the room!

    That’s just a picture of the moon.
    Yeah, the moon backed out of this movie at the last minute.

    Where did those leftover body parts in the fridge come from?

    “What happens now?”
    Mostly, you die.

    “There is an answer. I think I know what it is.”
    I copied from the Indian sitting next to me.

    His condition is so grave, that he’s confined to the ironing board.

    Tomorrow, we’ll be laughing about your killings.

    “I think we should look at these inside.”
    Inside the topless bar on the corner.

    His pants are Hagar, and they’re horrible.

    Oh, what the heck. I could use a little administrative leave.

    “What are you going to do?”
    Shoot your boyfriend and then come on to you.

    What an idiot, huh? Well, let’s go.

       5 likes

  5. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Sitting Duck:
    For those of you who lived through the Seventies, what was the deal with the home décor back then?

    I lived through the seventies. However, I was born in 1969, so I wasn’t in much of a position to make décor criticism. In fact, since I grew up surrounded by seventies décor, it was more or less imprinted onto my psyche that that’s what furniture is SUPPOSED to look like. So I can’t be of much help, sorry. :-)

    I also continue to think some of the fashions and haircuts looked pretty good and to this day I have no idea what’s supposed to have been so terrible about disco. I mean, yes, it launched John Travolta’s career, but still…

       5 likes

  6. Yeti of Great Danger says:

    Sitting Duck:

    For those of you who lived through the Seventies, what was the deal with the home décor back then?

    It’s hard to explain. It was basically a PUMAT of plastic, macramé, and “earth” colors. The best I can do is recommend the painfully funny book “Interior Desecrations” by James Lileks. He nails the looks and the general WTF-ery.

       2 likes

  7. Mr. Krasker says:

    I also lived through the 70s, and I can say for certain that I NEVER saw such an eye-bleedingly bad room as Paul’s Mom’s living room in real life.

       1 likes

  8. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Okay, the Projected Man, [Arizona] Werewolf, and the Moon Beast. Is that all…of the Pauls?

    There’s a character named Rizzo yet no riffs about Betty Rizzo, Ratso Rizzo, or Rizzo the Rat. Someone was very much not trying. :-|

    So, New Mexico…and nothing about Roswell. Ibid.

    SAMPO:what a mostly placid, quiet little movie this is, which gives the riffers a lot of elbow room. It’s a classic example (“Teenage Strangler” is another one) of a group of people who got together in a town to make a movie, and didn’t really know what they were doing.

    But they were sincere, darn it, and as ever, that makes a difference.

    SAMPO:Segment 3 is probably the weakest of the episode, but the Mike’s little puppet show on his bed is worth the price of admission. And I guess this is our one and only look into Mike’s bedroom
    I think Crow and Servo would concur in saying once was enough. Too bad we never see Crow’s or Gypsy’s rooms at all. And does Cambot even have a room?

    SAMPO:Fans have tracked down Frank Larrabee, the lead singer (aka the fish-lipped guy) in the band that played California Lady.
    Which begs the question of exactly how obscure a role in a MSTed film would one have to have had for someone to NOT think it’s worth the trouble to track them down…

    Fart Bargo:
    a movie hero who wheels around in a brown station wagon

    Hey, a movie hero can never know for sure just how much “trunk space” he’ll be needing.

    Fart Bargo:
    One last observation on the Moon Beast, outside of Norman Bates, no monster should be living with their mom.

    That’s just a “monsters” thing, though, right? Because plenty of people live with their parents until well after college.

    ck:
    Not a bad movie, but it’s best to watch it while
    enjoying some munchies. perhaps, say, a stew. I’d
    suggest one with chicken, green peppers, rattlesnake,
    velveeta, hair, corn, chili, onions

    Cigarette butts, beer cans…

    John Seavey:
    Really, what strikes me about this film is how unattractive everyone is.

    Looks weren’t as quite as important in the seventies as they are today. Besides, almost everyone in the real world is in fact to some extent or another unattractive, so it kind of qualifies as a dash of realism (to the stew).

    Colossus Prime:
    The blossoming bit has three great parts: Mike’s delivery when discovering they blossomed his wallet, the way Crow says, “Your head,” and Pearl’s greeting of, “Mike, Crow, Snack,”

    First she referred to his as “Cow” in Touch of Satan and now she actually gets his name right? Well, for cripes sake, does she genuinely think that his name is “Art” or not?!

    Colossus Prime:
    it would have all actually made sense if Paul wasn’t entirely wooden

    Well, he wasn’t wooden enough for anyone to make “cigar store indian” riffs, so there’s that…

    Colossus Prime:
    Kathy: Paul, where are we exactly?

    And no riff about it’s too early in their relationship to be asking questions like that?

    I’m not a medium, I’m a petite:
    Observation: Anyone else note that the mod-squad line-up of the band that played California Lady ( native american , bland white guy, blond chick ) neatly reflects the line-up of our three movie leads ?

    Certainly not the director, because I doubt there’s any way that a seventies b-movie director could’ve come up with anything that comparatively subtle.

    Also while an Inuit (or, to be less politically correct, Eskimo) does indeed technically qualify as a Native American, I don’t think the two terms are generally considered to be synonymous.

    Sampo:
    Continuing Legend.

    “The continuing storrrrrrry of a quack who’s gone to the dogs…”

    Yeah, I’m…not really sure what that was all about either, sorry.

    Yeti of Great Danger: It’s hard to explain.It was basically a PUMAT

    Pumat? Pumat? Puuumaaat…

       1 likes

  9. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    WeatherServo9:
    The band that played California Lady and the band from Hobgoblins and the band from Girl in Gold Boots all must have had the same incompetent manager.

    Well, if he or she was active from at least 1968 to at least 1988, he or she must have been doing something right…

    Dan in WI:
    One other comment I meant to make. During the stew eating scene I did crack up with the “eating noises” riffs

    That was a “Blazing Saddles”-riff, wasn’t it?

    AlbuquerqueTurkey:
    1)I have never figured out if Johnny Longbow’s stew recipe is for green chile stew, posole, some local Native American variation of one of these, or some bizarre combination.

    Perhaps it’s just a family recipe. Or maybe Johnny came up with it himself while cleaning out his refrigerator.

    AlbuquerqueTurkey:
    I just thank God he wasn’t serving menudo, and listing THOSE ingredients: “Chilies ….TRIPE ….”

    Menudo on ABC…Menudo on ABC…Menudo on…

    AlbuquerqueTurkey:
    5)With as many beautiful choices that they could have picked, our intrepid filmmakers picked some of the least enchanting locales to shoot in.

    Wouldn’t the enchanting locales have been overrun by tourists?

    AlbuquerqueTurkey:
    6)I don’t know if Johnny Longbow’s wild Native American lizard-meteor-coyote-whatever legend has anything at all in common with any local N.A. legends, but it just seems that back in the 70s, filmmakers could make up any goofy legend that fit their movie, and claim it to be some mystical, spiritual, Native American story.

    Well, to be fair, North America doesn’t really have any other source for mystical, spiritual legends. All the magic cosmic gods demons stuff happened long before the Europeans arrived.

    Besides, if a legend is presumed to be an obscure legend, it’s pretty much impossible to prove that it isn’t a genuine legend.

    Now that I think about it, that’s true of any goofy legend attributed to any religion, really.

    M “California Graaaaavy, Add Flavor To My Meat” Sipher:

    (but not to the stew)

    M “California Graaaaavy, Add Flavor To My Meat” Sipher:
    I think the part of “And then we can kill him!” that makes me laugh the most is Tom’s response. He’s not horrified by the suggestion at all. It’s more like “Look, not now, okay?”

    I heard it more as just telling Crow he was a little confused. Wasn’t Crow’s next line to the effect of, “Oh, sorry, I was thinking about somebody else”?

    Thomas K. Dye:
    in addition to “What do you think, Bobblehead Baseball Kid?”

    I think that, prior to this episode, I didn’t even know that they had bobbleheads as far back as the seventies. I mean, sure, I was a kid in the seventies, but I couldn’t notice everything

    superticket:
    The “crapped on food cart” was a reference to a what a drunk passenger on an airline flight did. It always sticks in my mind because to this day I wonder how angry-drunk you have to be to relieve ones self on a food cart.

    Well, apparently not drunk enough to be unable to raise one’s rear to the level of a food cart’s surface while also pulling down one’s pants. Which, in fact, now that I spell it out like that, actually sounds like it would’ve been kind of difficult to do…

    monoceros4:
    instead of feeling like screaming “Just stop larking about and KILL YOURSELF ALREADY!” at him.

    larking“?

    monoceros4:
    And I don’t think “California Lady” is that horrible either.Inoffensive, really.

    Well, a song can be horrible without being offensive. And vice versa.

    SAVE FERRIS:
    Now if we were talking about “host segment” (i.e., MST “cast”) songs, I don’t know that I’d honestly be able to pick a favorite with those…………just too darn many of ’em !!!!!!!!!:mrgreen:

    Just because you can punctuate, it doesn’t mean that you should
    ;-)

    kismetgirl88:
    I like the behind the music special of “California Lady”. I miss Behind the Music with drugs, sex and rehab.

    Anyone else ever notice how “sex, drugs, and rock and roll” is kind of synonymous with “wine, women, and song”? Except that in the former, it’s sex itself, not roughly half of the adult members of the human race, that’s considered a metaphorical object/”sin” to be avoided. Which I think it can be generally agreed is a huge improvement.

    M “What Up, Bitch?” Sipher:
    Ah, Sampo, danke. I mean, I’d figured it was a Actual Thing That Happened, but… man. 1995? And this episode was in ’99? (taps chin) I don’t really recall nay other “crap on food cart” riffs save the one in Dr. Z only a couple episodes prior, so… I can only assume one of the Brains stumbled on this little news tidbit years after the fact and found it hilarious.

    I wouldn’t even care to venture a guess as to what the show’s dates-furthest-back “torn from the headlines” riff might be, but I’m sure it would date back much further than a mere four years.

       1 likes

  10. jay:
    >You know you have a stink bug of a movie when stew ingredients upstage the rest of the plot. Having lived through the Seventies I can verify that better movies were made then.In fact, all of them.You can probably make your own list of Seventies movies that were better than Moon Beast.For example, Deep Throat had a more developed plot line and didn’t stoop to listing food ingredients even though eating was an essential plot element.

    I think this comment pretty well sums up the episode’s reputation:
    I don’t have the boxset and haven’t seen it turn up on PlutoTV, so pretty much all I remember from SciFi Channel–and all that keeps me from confusing this episode with “It Lives By Night”–are the two things any other fan took away from the episode.

    Namely,
    A) a character with a corny and high-school-opportunity name made a stew and squandered valuable screen time by reciting the ingredients (which, if that alone were “wacky”, I would turn on the Food Network and let Rachael Ray send me into milk-snorting hysterics),
    and
    B) MK&B getting in their just-desserts against VH-1, by repeatedly demonstrating how any slow plot development of this movie was clearly the fault of an earlier decade in our culture’s shameful history…

    Although I get the impression THEY were sort of hard up for wacky merchandiseable cult lines that week, too. So, they kept reciting the corn, the onions, and the Band That Played California Lady.

    kismetgirl88:
    I like the behind the music special of “California Lady”. I miss Behind the Music with drugs, sex and rehab.

    (sigh) Yep, yepyepyep, never miss something till it’s gone. :(
    Although at the (90’s) time, it was the in-comic thing to joke about how every band pretty much had the exact same drugs-ego-self-destruction story, which meant VH-1 was pretty much re-running the same depressing episode over and over for years.

    …Another helpful cautionary warning for its day about How Other Cable Channels Annoy Us.

       1 likes

  11. Jason says:

    Another classic in my book. I couldn’t believe how long it took this one to get a DVD release, but I’m grateful it finally happened. Hard to say if it’s the best MST3K episode starring a monster named Paul, but it’s surely in competition.

    So are we technically still in the Institute for Mad Scientist subplot? Pearl’s attempt at accreditation is not mentioned explicitly, but she does speculate that her remote-controlled Bobo experiment will thrust her to the highest “ranks” of mad science.

    The gang really got a kick out of Johnny’s aggressive exhale when listing off stew ingredients. If you check out the raw theater segment footage for It Lives By Night, they’re still going on about that and the faux pas that is rushing the Halloween season.

    It’s just that, since we HAD the mask…

       4 likes

  12. Ray Dunakin says:

    Sitting Duck:

    Since when is a dirt track designated a state road, even in New Mexico?

    I don’t know about New Mexico, since I only passed through there once when I was five. But in Nevada there are quite a few state roads that are completely or partially unpaved.

       0 likes

  13. Mr. Krasker says:

    Moon rock? Oh wow!

       3 likes

  14. jay says:

    Can you imagine the eye rolls and sighs from the prop people when the writers asked them to “blossom” everything? Ha! That relatively minor detail is a perfect example of why this episode is a perfect example of how The Brains could take an oatmeal of a movie and make into a feast of comic interplay. I’ll bet that we’ll see more of that sort of thing in season 12 now that they have the basic scenarios laid down.

       3 likes

  15. Lisa H. says:

    jay: The Brains could take an oatmeal of a movie

    Hey, I like Willow oatmeal.

       5 likes

  16. Speedy B. says:

    Of the two “person gradually turns into another creature” movies from season 10, I prefer “It Lives By Night”.

    By the way, that stinger quote is incorrectly punctuated. It really should read “Moon rocks. Oh, wow.” :p

       0 likes

  17. yelling_into_the_void says:

    “See you, Johnny Longbow.”
    “Why do you call him Johnny Longbow?”
    “Allow me to mansplain…”

    They go back to listing stew ingredients so often I was expecting it to turn into something for a Host Segment.

       0 likes

  18. IR5 says:

    Two episodes in one season with an Anthropology professor? Who would have thought?

       4 likes

  19. jay says:

    Lisa H.: Hey, I like Willow oatmeal.

    Me, too, but just try to “blossom” a bowl of oatmeal. All I can do is add a little butter and maybe some honey, but I’ll bet the MST prop people could have done it. Did anybody out there buy Tom’s blossomed head during the prop sell off?

       2 likes

  20. littleaimishboy says:

    jay:
    Did anybody out there buy Tom’s blossomed head during the prop sell off?

    BUY it? It was delicious!!!

       8 likes

  21. Sitting Duck says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves:
    Hey, a movie hero can never know for sure just how much “trunk space” he’ll be needing.

    In that case, he should drive a ’63 Impala.

    First she referred to his as “Cow” in Touch of Satan and now she actually gets his name right? Well, for cripes sake, does she genuinely think that his name is “Art” or not?!

    Technically, it was Steffi the babysitter who called him that.

       2 likes

  22. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Sitting Duck:
    Technically, it was Steffi the babysitter who called him that.

    Well, yes, but IIRC she was reading off a piece of paper that Pearl left her. I may be mistaken. Shrug.

       1 likes

  23. GareChicago says:

    The Original EricJ:

    Although I get the impression THEY were sort of hard up for wacky merchandiseable cult lines that week, too.So, they kept reciting the corn, the onions, and the Band That Played California Lady.

    Delete your account.

    The Original EricJ:

    (sigh) Yep, yepyepyep, never miss something till it’s gone.:(

    Well, go away and let us test that theory…

       15 likes

  24. yelling_into_the_void says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: Well, yes, but IIRC she was reading off a piece of paper that Pearl left her. I may be mistaken. Shrug.

    I’ve misread “crow” as “cow” many times…

       1 likes

  25. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Lisa H.: Hey, I like Willow oatmeal.

    SIDEBAR (just because I keep coming back to this in my mind)

    In the Village of the Giants episode (which you’re kind of quoting from), when even Crow makes a negative remark about “Willow,” this is interpreted as contradictory to his previous repeated claims to liking “Willow.” IMHO Crow’s appropriate response to said interpretation would’ve been something to the effect of “Well, I never said it was perfect.” He said he liked “Willow,” not that he loved it. And I’m done with that. Thank you for your indulgence. :-)

    yelling_into_the_void: I’ve misread “crow” as “cow” many times…

    But I presume you’re not working from a script. Steffi/Beez was. ;-) However, I won’t insist it was Pearl’s error. It’s just what I’ve been presuming for several years.

       1 likes

  26. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Gummo:
    And I’m surprised no one’s mentioned the police chief who’s more worried about Paul’s health than the fact that he’s been on a couple of killing sprees.

    Chief Mac knows that if Paul dies, he can’t be arrested and put on trial for his crimes. Since Paul indeed died before he could be put on trial, before he could face his accusers in a court of law, before he could be proven guilty, he is now, in the eyes of the law, forever innocent of those crimes (unless I’m wrong). Some cops attach importance to that kind of thing.

    Also, the trial of a guy who killed people while transformed into a giant lizard would probably bring in a lot of extra tourism. And a lot of fame to the cops involved.

    Johnny Ryde:
    I don’t know who made this, but I just stumbled onto it today.It’s an fake ad for Johnny Longbow’s Legendary Stew:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/alxlen/1422544184/

    IMHO it would’ve been more eye-catching if one of the people in the background was the Moon Beast. Oh well.

    mikek:
    I love Crow’s reaction when the “California Lady” starts.He first hears the music.Then moves back in surprise and says, “What’s that!” Then we see the concert and Crow says, “Oh no!We’ve stumbled onto an Eagles concert!It’s a nightmare!”

    Yeah, I didn’t entirely “get” that because I was under the impression that the Eagles are generally considered to be good musicians. Oh, again, well.

    ghlbtsk:
    I am very surprised that, being filmed in New Mexico, they didn’t make a “this is what happens when you leave the Bronx” joke as the station wagon pulls up to Paul’s (mother’s) house.

    SIDEBAR:
    Which reminds me of a plot point from “Escape 2000” that some viewers didn’t quite receive: The implication was that the people who indeed left the Bronx were indeed relocated to New Mexico. It was only the ones who instead refused to leave the Bronx who were set on fire and stuff.

    If this film were riffed nowadays, it’d probably contain at least a few “Breaking Bad” riffs. I was for some reason bemused to learn that New Mexico has actual tours of “Breaking Bad” film locations.

    Albquerque is, of course, also renowned for its “left toin.” I don’t recall if that received any riffs or not.

    ghlbtsk:
    Also: “I’m wearing terry cloth, do you need anything absorbed?”

    There might actually be a market for clothes that absorb water. I’ll admit that I’m not sure.

    ghlbtsk:
    I found it odd that she started mothering him before the end of their first date.

    (oh, this again…?)
    It’s called characterization, folks…

    Flying Saucers Over Oz:
    Ah, yes.In the 70’s, Native Americans were very ‘in.’That is, the concept of Native Americans, at least. I think we’re in the Apache Chief field of Native American studies here.

    Well, it was an improvement over the depiction of Native Americans offered by accumulated decades of westerns, isn’t it?

    This Guy:
    When Kathy asks about Johnny Longbow’s name, Paul (or whoever) says “It translates as ‘warrior’s bow that reaches far to its mark.’” Did he just translate “Longbow” from English into English?

    Maybe it was an acknowledgement that the name didn’t literally mean “longbow” since AFAIK Native Americans didn’t use longbows. Did you know that, supposedly, after the longbow’s invention, some people thought that it was such a dangerous weapon that it would bring an end to warfare entirely? Yeah, if only.

    Pixiesnix:
    It’s been noted by others, but Johnny Longbone’s amazing colossal pomposity makes this episode.He’s a shining example of an actor who thinks he’s better than the movie he’s in.He’s not.But to his credit, he’s head and shoulders above Kathy.

    I would’ve said he’s a shining example of a character who thinks he’s superior to most of the people around him, possibly as overcompensation for anti-Native-American prejudice earlier in his life having made him feel inferior to most of the people around him.

    Pixiesnix:
    “I’d almost unhook my thumbs for her.”

    But would he take his leg down from whatever he’d put his leg up on for her?

    JustinT:
    Also liked Servo accidently shooting the little sattalite and the mommy arriving to get it.

    So, is the SOL the little satellite’s father? Was that something we were supposed to take away from that sequence?

    ck:
    and the RETURN OF JOE DON BAKER :shock:
    Although I’ll concede that the latter is not a favorite with Maltese men.

    Isn’t that conclusion kind of based on an underlying premise that Maltese men have no sense of humor?

    thecorman:
    I normally don’t take issue with what most people write on this board, but I believe that all the people who say “California Lady” isn’t “too bad” may need deep, prolonged, musical therapy…

    Would that be therapy about music or therapy in musical form?

    thecorman:
    Also, I love Longbone’s scientific leap when explaining how the Moon could cause a human to lizard metamorphosis:“Look at what it does to the tides”

    The human body is supposedly at least 60% water. Tides are almost 100% water (with some salt thrown in). As parallels go, it’s as good as any and better than some. ;-)

    Not Merritt Stone:
    So does Longbone always keep a fresh supply of corn cobs in his station wagon in case of impromptu arrow trick demonstrations?

    Sure, why not? Maybe he’s well known in the area for his arrow tricks and is frequently asked to demonstrate, and he does his best to make sure he’s always prepared because he wants to please others (and get an ego fix). We thus receive information about Longbow without any time-consuming dialogue to establish said information. We aren’t TOLD this information, we’re SHOWN it. Now that I think about, that can also be said of Kathy’s mothering and Longbow’s “pomposity.” “Show, don’t tell” is in fact a basic tenet of good fiction writing. That its use doesn’t actually guarantee good fiction is beside the point. ;-)

       4 likes

  27. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    BTW, this film is Richard Ashe’s only full directorial credit. He was assistant director on “Diary of a Mad Housewife” (comedy-drama), “A Place Called Today” (drama), and “Girls Are for Loving” (third film of the Ginger MacAllister trilogy).

    Sitting Duck:
    That’s just a picture of the moon.
    Yeah, the moon backed out of this movie at the last minute.

    Yet it made multiple appearances in “Werewolf” nearly 20 years later. Just another case of longtime actors slumming…

    Gare.Chicago:
    As I’m sure some of you already know, the lovely woman who played Kathy wrote a response to a review on the old ColdFusion site (currently down, according to the link I’m including below, due to some sort of catastrophic event).

    And, regrettably, the reviewer has no plans to re-open it. So it goes.

    Terry the Sensitive Knight:
    I’ll never understand how Mike keeps such a straight face for segment 1, especially during Crow’s apology.

    ACTING!

    Also, Michael J. Nelson is a talented comedian, and being able to look at and hear preposterous things without laughing is a very valuable talent to a comedian. He’s the lone Bud Abbott in a universe of Lou Costellos.

    As Jerry Seinfeld once noted (in “Jerry Seinfeld Meets Abbott and Costello”): “Where [Abbott & Costello] came from, vaudeville, comedians were a dime a dozen, but when you had a good straight man, you had an ACT!”
    (or words to that effect)

    jay:
    You know you have a stink bug of a movie when stew ingredients upstage the rest of the plot.Having lived through the Seventies I can verify that better movies were made then.In fact, all of them.

    (Sometimes, it’s just too easy…)
    http://www.1000misspenthours.com/general/chronologicalindex.htm#1970

       3 likes

  28. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    GareChicago:

    Well, go away and let us test that theory…

    Not really anything to test. Eric said “you never miss something till it’s gone” which is basic logic; if something’s not gone, it’s still here, and if it’s here, you CAN’T “miss” it.

    What he didn’t say is that when something’s gone, you ALWAYS miss it. THAT could be tested. ;-)

       4 likes

  29. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    ADDENDUM:
    To theoretically increase theoretical interest in the link that I definitely posted, I posted a list of seventies films from there but it was designated “spam” and deleted. So it goes.

       2 likes

  30. Cornjob says:

    Maybe it’s just the pompous intellectual in me, but I kinda like Johnny Longbow. Sure he’s a bit of a smug know it all with a boring slideshow and crappy stew, but he seems like a nice compassionate fellow. He’s educated, athletic, skilled and the smartest man on the scene (a low bar I admit). He dresses halfway decently, even if he has only one set of clothes. He’s the first to figure out the ridiculous plot, and in the absence of a cure he makes the hard decision to put his friend out of his misery and hasten his deterioration before he did any more damage. Not too bad compared to the ostensible protagonist whose accomplishments consist of being shirtless, getting hit in the head, and failing to kill himself.

    On an unrelated note I love Mike’s pitch perfect narration of the “Behind the Music” segment. It always makes me laugh.

       6 likes

  31. Yeti of Great Danger says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: Not really anything to test. Eric said “you never miss something till it’s gone” which is basic logic; if something’s not gone, it’s still here, and if it’s here, you CAN’T “miss” it.

    What he didn’t say is that when something’s gone, you ALWAYS miss it. THAT could be tested. ;-)

    No, something could be gone and you could very well realize that you DON’T miss it and are extremely glad it’s gone. That’s what we’d like to test re: the resident troll that pisses on everyone’s cornflakes, post after post after post, and the moderators do nothing. Every other forum I’m on, there are rules about trolling and trolls are banned = everyone else is happier.

    Back to the movie, I also love Mike’s deadpan delivery of the “Behind the Music” segment about The Band That Played California Lady. I kinda wish TBTPCL had played at the pool party in “Laserblast.” They would’ve fit right in and livened things up a bit.

       6 likes

  32. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    So…uh…hm…The Brigham-Young/he’s-a-Who museum guy, no one’s said much about him yet. What was his deal?

       2 likes

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