MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000
THE UNOFFICIAL EPISODE GUIDE
SEASON SIX: 1994-1995
Episode Guide: 601- Girls Town
Last modified on 2008-12-31 23:20:54 GMT. 71 comments. Top.
First shown: 7/16/94
Opening: Preparing for Dr. F.’s big announcement
Intro: Dr. F. unveils the Umbilicus
Host segment 1: Tom “scats” until Mike and Crow have had enough
Host segment 2: Mike explains the “honor system”
Host segment 3: Designing the woman of the future
End: M&TB make good use of the Umbilicus
Stinger: “You tell that boy to go home right now, or I’ll call the police!”
• Happy new year, and off we go on season six!
• For me, this is one of those episodes where the movie, and riffing of the movie, are great fun, but the host segments…meh. Nothing really catches fire. Of course the big news in this episode was the introduction of Umbilicus — the physical link between Deep 13 and the SOL, with its umbuliport, umbilipod and other umbili-names that would come later, which was connected to Gypsy until it wasn’t. The science of the thing is, of course, crazy (and how does he eat and breathe?) but who cares? The Brains said the idea was to create a way for more interaction between the SOL and Deep 13, and that it certainly did, though I don’t really think it got off to an auspicious start with the somewhat lame pie gag.
• I keep meaning to link to annotatedmst.com whenever they’ve done an episode, since they explain the obscure references well, and then I don’t have to. One they missed is the reference to the mostly-forgotten TV show “Father Dowling Mysteries.” They also missed “We’re all bozos on this bus,” a Firesign Theatre reference (and one of the first since Joel’s departure).
• There’s a ladies’ room on the SOL?
• The Power Steves are Mary Jo, Paul and writer David Sussman in, I believe, his only appearance on the show. Sussman joined the writing staff for some season four episodes, worked on a lot of season five (including helping to write a lot of the songs) and the first five episodes of season six, before he dropped off the credits. He remains something of a mystery. If anybody knows David, please let him know we’re trying to find him for an interview. And David, if you’re out there, email us.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: desk calendar, beaker, bulletin board, film canister.
• This episode may have the most Bill Clinton jokes of any show they did, largely because that one guy sort of looked like him.
• Each of the host segments just kind of lays there for me. Segment 1 (”Tom scats”) is pretty much a one-joke bit that goes on too long even though they hurry through it. Segment 2 (”the honor system”) is cute, but Mike’s speech goes on too long, and we can see the punchline coming down Broadway. Segment 3 is just weird.
• Annoying commercial: My copy is from the ‘94 Turkey Day, and featured bumpers featuring Mamie and Adam West. It also features that incredibly irritating (apparently homemade) commercial for a CD featuring comedian Jackie “the Joke Man” Martling.
• Callbacks: “No Lupita!” (Santa Claus) “Radar!” (Radar Secret Service) “He’d never touch you, Terry, you’re dirt,” (Teenage Crime Wave) “Who’s gonna make Daddy-O”?
• I love Tom’s “..and then he died” bit during Kitten’s confession.
• Fave riff: “Do you know ‘White Light, White Heat’?” Honorable mention: “The last call shall be answered first…”
Episode Guide: 602- Invasion U.S.A. (with short: “A Date with Your Family”)
Last modified on 2009-01-15 00:08:52 GMT. 54 comments. Top.
First shown: 7/23/94
Opening: Mike tries to build a robot
Intro: Dr. F. or a wire mother?
Host segment 1: A date with M&TB
Host segment 2: Tom tricks Crow into a Lois Lane discussion
Host segment 3: A visit from “A. Bomb” on the Hexfield
End: Tom thinks it’s all a dream, letter, Frank is on patrol!
Stinger: Couple stare as a paper boy cries out: “Extra! Paper! America invaded! Read all about it!”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• I wouldn’t say this is an episode where the short outshines the feature, but I think the two are about evenly matched. The short is an absolute classic (”The less said about this the better!”) but the riffing of the feature is just about as good. And most of the segments are a definite step up from last week’s drab entries.
• Again, in the opening, they make very explicit that Mike is not Joel. I remember that killbot caused quite a stir on the MSTie internet. People were trying to make replicas within hours.
• Trace seems very perky in this episode. I particularly love “Yat-dat-dada-dada-dat-dah-FACT!”
• This week the Umbilicus is the “Umbilcon” for whatever reason.
• Great little throwaway: As Tom is examining the “mother” we can hear him mutter “…usually have two…”
• The point of the movie seems to be a pitch for what is referred to as “the universal draft,” which apparently means that the military can just waltz into a tractor factory and demand that they build tanks. The goal, of course, is fighting Communism, under which the military can just walk into a tractor factory and demand that they build tanks. Maybe that’s why we didn’t hear too much about “the universal draft” after this.
• Segment 1 is great stuff, just the sort of segment I would include in a “shorts and the host segments they inspired” collection I would love to see Shout! Factory do.
• Annoying commercial: The Odor Eaters featuring “Swamp Foot.” Honorable mention: The “Real Bowl” Comedy Central bumpers, which were distinctly unfunny.
• “It’s a long par five to the nation’s capital” was later reused in the movie.
• I love the neon “stand by” sign in the TV studio. It’s elegant, I’ll grant you, but pretty useless.
• This movie must have been pretty easy to make–just edit together all the stock footage you can find, along with about 20 minutes of actual movie.
• Segment 2 comes before we’ve seen any of the Lois Lanes. It probably should have been segment 3. That aside, it’s lots of fun and has a very casual feel that I like.
• Then-current riff: “Vince Coleman’s final revenge.” Coleman was an outfielder, playing for the Mets in 1993, when he threw a lit firecracker into a crowd of fans in the Dodger Stadium parking lot, injuring three children, and deservedly got into a heap o’ trouble. Honorable mention: “This is all Andrew Guiliani’s fault.” Andrew was the mischievous son of then-New York Mayor Rudy Guiliani.
• That’s comedian and MST3K writer Mike Dodge as the Bomb. Dodge joined the writing staff at the beginning of season six, and this was his only on-screen appearance. Mike’s performance is a little over the top for my tastes, but he didn’t have a lot to work with. This segment is pretty tiresome.
• Fave riff: “Well, just keep coming down until you’re not in the sky anymore! Doncha know how to land???” Honorable mention: “So, are you gonna finish the windows?”
One other note: The season five episode guide is now up.
Episode Guide: 603- The Dead Talk Back (with short: “The Selling Wizard”)
Last modified on 2009-01-15 00:00:28 GMT. 90 comments. Top.
First shown: 7/30/94
Opening: Gypsy’s fire drill.
Intro: Dr. F. tries pin-point cigarette marketing
Host segment 1: Radio talk show: “The Dead Talk Back”
Host segment 2: M&TB are “The Dead”
Host segment 3: Dr. F.’s interrogation session, Frank confesses, and Crow continues his guitar solo
End: Crow is still playing, Tom is acting up, Gypsy starts another fire drill, Mike reads a letter, Dr. F. practices his archery skills
Stinger: Woman screams after seeing dead body
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• This is weird episode, featuring an odd short and even odder movie. It’s fun, but not a favorite.
• I wonder if the fire drill segment led to the later fire safety PSA that they did.
• It’s the “umbilicon” again in this episode.
• The short is a bit of departure. This is what is known an “industrial,” quite a different animal from the mental hygiene shorts they’d mostly done up until now. I’m not sure it always works for MST3K, as in this case. This may be my least favorite short MST3K ever did.
• Callback: “Plenty of lip and tongue action” (from the speech short).
• Spaghetti ball bumpers: beaker, film canister, book.
• Then0current reference: “James Farentino visits Tina Sinatra.” Farentino was charged with stalking his former girlfriend, Tina Sinatra in 1993.
• “Oh, its true!” became a standard callback in many future episode.
• Daddy-O notes: Nothing is known about this odd little independent film, except that it was never released. It does appear that besides the floating stool, the only other special effects were the actors’ bad haircuts.
• Segment 1 features the voice of Trace, one of the few times he ever did a “guest spot” on the show.
• Say what you want, Churchill was right about the Bills.
• The Rhino release of this episode had some encoding problems and was reissued.
• I was never much of a deadhead. I liked ‘em, but I little goes a long way for me. Gypsy seems pretty natural as one, though.
• The close up on Crow’s guitar gives us a close look at the stick that control’s Gypsy’s jaw.
• Later in segment 2, Mike is folding Crow’s sensible slacks. He really DID get a lot of wear out of them!
• Fave riff: “Well! I’m going home for lunch.”
Episode Guide: 604- Zombie Nightmare
Last modified on 2009-01-21 23:14:11 GMT. 94 comments. Top.
First shown: 11/24/94
Opening: Crow and Tom are Secret Service agents protecting Mike
Intro: The Mads are into voodoo, so they send a voodoo kit to the SOL
Host segment 1: Crow is reading when Tom runs him down!
Host segment 2: Mike, Crow and Tom enjoy a hot tub
Host segment 3: Crow abandoned his “Batman” screenplay, but neglected to tell Tom and Mike
End: Letters for Adam West, Frank turns Dr. F. into a zombie!
Stinger: Voodoo priestess finishes incantation and zombie screams
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• It’s hard not to like this episode. The movie is big and bold and insane, the riffing is fantastic and the segments have a goofy, happy-go-lucky quality that I like.
• This episode was held from TV while it made the rounds of many college campuses, during the fall of ‘94, as part of Comedy Central’s “Fresh Cheese” tour. It was finally shown on Turkey Day ‘94. I saw it in the University of Pennsylvania’s cavernous Irvine Auditorium. The sound was terrrible and the place was about half full. One of the school’s screening rooms might have been a better venue. Anybody else see the college tour?
• Do you think that “Head!” thing was planned? After so many accidental beheadings of Tom, it nice to think they did this one on purpose.
• This week it’s the “umbilicus.”
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: bulletin board, beaker, book
• Segment 1 is related to the movie — he runs Crow over just like the kids just ran over the guy. But it’s also the beginning of a running gag for season six, in which Tom repeated — and cheerfully — smashes Crow. Unfortunately, this episode, where the running gag begins, wasn’t shown in order, so some of the humor of the running gag was a drained away.
• Tom imitates a Jamaican guy attempting to lure tourists to his jet ski business. I understand that the cast vacationed together in Jamaica at least once. Maybe that’s where this came from.
• Callbacks: “I’d never touch you, Terry. You’re dirt!” (Teenage Crime Wave)
• Second “Governor and JJ” reference in a few weeks.
• Fave riff: “C’mon, turn the tape over!!” Honorable mention: “Bub…was…right…”
Episode Guide: 605- Colossus and the Headhunters
Last modified on 2009-01-28 23:26:02 GMT. 51 comments. Top.
First shown: 8/20/94
Opening: Tom does Crow’s taxes
Intro: Dr. F. invents Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter, the world’s most adorable pet, and sends it to M&TB, much to Frank’s dismay
Host segment 1: Song: “Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter”
Host segment 2: Nummy’s fur is everywhere
Host segment 3: Nummy is sick, Frank is sick, so Mike sends Nummy back to Deep 13
End: “What does it feel like to get you head chopped off?”, letters, the Mads have been caught by their own creation
Stinger: Guy gets shot by arrow
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• This is an odd duck of an episode for me. The movie has a sort of “been there-done that” feel for me. With the exception of a hero named “My cheesesteak” there isn’t a lot of interest. The riffing is pretty good but not spectacular. Of course the headline of the episode is Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter. The segments caused an immediate sensation among fans; I remember some people didn’t quite get the ending.
• Having heard of the fans’ growing irritation with CC spokesguy Penn Gillette, they use him in a gag. Folks loved that.
• Daddy-O says: MACISTE was the strongman character originating in the 1914 Italian movie “Cabiria.” The character was resurrected when the sword-and-sandal epic Italian movies suddenly became very popular in the late 1950s. Because American audiences were unfamiliar with Maciste, the title character’s name was usually changed to Atlas, Colossus, Goliath, Hercules or Samson (for example, the character Hercules in the movie in episode 410- HERCULES AGAINST THE MOON MEN was actually Maciste). What’s odd in COLOSSUS AND THE HEADHUNTERS is that the dubbed English dialogue still calls the hero Maciste even though the title says otherwise; nobody calls him Colossus.
• Non-Spagetti-ball bumpers: film canister, bulletin board, beaker, book.
• Callbacks: “Watch out for snakes!” (Eegah!)
• Annoying commercial: Commercial for the now-largely forgotten “Moxy Pirate Show.”
• Interesting commercial: The first “Go to where the cheese is made” contest commercial as the first convention approached.
• Obscure riff: “o/` Ontari-ari-ari-ohh… o/` from an old tourism commercial.
• Local reference: Rush’s Bridal Shop.
• I think that’s Kevin as the voice of NMCB in segment 3
• Mildly dirty riff: “Meanwhile, Sonny’s upstairs with the maid of honor…”
• Fave riff: This is history’s first really awkward moment. Honorable mention: “Uh, what’s following them?”
Episode Guide: 606- The Creeping Terror
Last modified on 2009-02-05 00:10:10 GMT. 117 comments. Top.
First shown: 9/17/94
Opening: Tom is a security guard
Intro: Laundry day in Deep 13, Dr. F. makes the bots pretentious poseurs
Host segment 1: Crow makes a flag for the SOL
Host segment 2: M&TB stick it to “Love American Style”
Host segment 3: Mike sets up his stereo system
End: Crow and Tom want Gypsy to swallow them, letters, Dr. F. “presses” Frank about the laundry
Stinger: “My God! What is it?”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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Give me liberty or kill me! And off we go:
• I like this episode a lot. The host segments are lots of fun, the riffing is great and while the movie is gray and tedious, at the same time it is TOTALLY OUT THERE. The questions it raises are endless. What’s chained up in the spaceship? Why does the creature look like a Chinese parade dragon? Why pick a guy shaped like a basketball to play the fisherman? What guitar player would use his guitar as a weapon? Why a full ten minutes of dance hall footage before the the monster arrives? And on and on.
• I love how they added a little drool to Servo’s mouth when they show him sleeping.
• I love the bots as poseurs. I think we’ve all met people like that, more’s the pity.
• Trace’s fans enjoyed a close up of the bottom of his right foot.
• There’s lots of narration and little dialogue, but don’t believe the commonly told story that the soundtrack was dropped off of a boat into Lake Tahoe. The movie was shot without sound, with a plan to dub in the dialog later. But there wasn’t enough money for that when the time came, so the narration was used instead.
• I’m doing these in episode number order, but this was not the next episode fans saw after episode 605- COLOSSUS AND THE HEADHUNTERS. Comedy Central ran episode 609- THE SKY DIVERS the following week, then 607- BLOODLUST the next week, then there was a week break before this episode ran. Then there was another two-week break before the network ran 608- CODE NAME: DIAMOND HEAD followed a week later by 610- THE VIOLENT YEARS. At that point the episodes got back into order.
• This episode aired the same weekend as some 2,000 MSTies from all over the nation were encamped at the Raddison Hotel in Bloomington for the first CONVENTIOCON EXPOFEST-A-RAMA. Unfortunately, the hotel’s TVs did not get Comedy Central, which meant that fans had to find another way to see the episode. I went to the home of a friend who lived in the area.
• Somewhat obscure reference: The narrator says there was no sign of Jeff, and Servo adds: “or Akbar!” — a reference to Matt Groening’s cartoon duo.
• Mike’s “Yes!” in segment 1 is hilarious.
• This movie has the infamous baby temperature taking scene, one of its most commented-upon aspects by bad movie buffs.
• The “Love American Style” bit in segment 2 is sort of meta: a sarcastic premise surrounding a second, intentionally lame, premise. On the plus side, Mike kisses Servo and Crow.
• As Servo notes, it’s a good guess that the director got at pervy little thrill by the image of a woman’s legs (preferably still kicking) being pulled into the monster.
• In the ACEG they mentioned that segment 3 was written mostly by Frank, who loves sketches where nothing happens for long stretches. Note: Mike’s using a green magic marker on his CD, something audiophiles did (or still do?)
• Mike’s line, “another frustrated IBM PC user!” became a widely traded sound file.
• Very neat image with the wringer at the end. Very Joel-like.
• Julie Walker begins to appear in the credits as “Info Club Coordinator” at about this point (the previous episode, actually).
• Fave riff: “We’re the special unit! Helloooooo!!”
Episode Guide: 607- Bloodlust (with short: “Uncle Jim’s Dairy Farm”)
Last modified on 2009-06-25 01:54:32 GMT. 82 comments. Top.
First shown: 9/3/94
Opening: Tom is Crow’s therapist
Intro: Dr. F. redecorates Deep 13 for his mother’s visit, but she’s more pleased to see Frank
Host segment 1: Crow’s veg’able stand gets run over by Servo’s car!
Host segment 2: Square dancing
Host segment 3: Crow ruins Mystery Murder Dinner Theater
End: The bots think Mike is hunting them, letters, Dr. F.’s mom and Frank go out on the town
Stinger: Guy gets an arrow in the stomach
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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Salty Ron? Off we go:
• For me, this one gets dragged down by the movie, which just kind of meanders around until it finds an ending. Robert Reed’s continual wryness begins to rankle after a while. The riffing is servicable but most of the fun, for me, is outside of the theater.
• Lots of notables in this episode, include the first appearance of Mary Jo as Pearl and the redecoration of Deep 13.
• Gypsy says “bitch” supposedly accidentally. The bots want to say it too and Mike surprisingly is opposed to the idea.
• The short is downright hilarious, much more fun than the feature. “All the commotion provokes a bull snake.”
• I keep forgetting to include a link to the annotated reference guide, which saves me a LOT of effort. There were a LOT of references in this one.
• In segment 1, Mike excuses himself to go “be” Kenny G–one of the first times Mike just sort of “becomes” somebody. This strange ability will help him later episodes.
• The mayhem in segment 1 is an extension of the running gag begun in 604, which, as I explained, was lost on a lot of people when 604 was removed from the lineup.
• I recall after this episode there was much chatter about the fact that they only made one Brady Bunch riff. Some wanted more, others were pleased with their self-restraint.
• Later-to-be-disgraced TV chef Jeff Smith gets a reference and it won’t be the last.
• In segment 2, I like how they go from square dancing to slam dancing in two seconds. Note: Servo loses his head.
• Segment 3 is your basic one-joke segment. (see: “Waffles!”) I like the costumes, though.
• Then-current reference: Crow attempts to explain the surprise in the movie “The Crying Game” — then a popular topic of conversation.
• In one riff, they posit the idea of “Scooby Doo, the motion picture.” What a preposterous idea.
• Fave riff: He shot the bear in mid-standing ovation.
Episode Guide: 608- Code Name: Diamond Head (with short: “A Day at the Fair”)
Last modified on 2009-02-19 13:20:31 GMT. 61 comments. Top.
First shown: 10/1/94
Opening: M&TB are living in their own filth
Intro: The Mads obsess over cleanliness, cleaning up the SOL
Host segment 1: The bots thinks Mike is too nice, then they see what it would be like if Mike wasn’t nice
Host segment 2: Then they are shown what it would be like to live with a Crash Test Dummy
Host segment 3: And finally, they are shown what it would like to live with the Frugal Gourmet
End: Luau on the SOL, Tom hulas a letter, the Mads are still obsessing
Stinger: “Aaaahhh! Johnny! Down there!”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• This episode doesn’t do it for me, sorry. Sure, the short is another gem, but once they get to the movie, I’m just not laughing that much. Maybe it’s because this isn’t a Coleman Francis-level bad movie. He’s no Orson Welles, but Quinn Martin’s stuff is at least competent and reasonably professional, which leaves them less to riff on. Still the host segments are very memorable, and recall they caused a bit of a stir when this show first aired.
• The smell was coming from from what looks like a jester shoe from episode 505- The Magic Voyage of Sinbad.
• Frank does a call back to “Outlaw” with his mention of a “disgusting worrrm!”
• The short is great, sort of a continuation of last week’s short. Fave riff: “The cows are furious!”
• I know a thing or two about a thing or two, and Mike’s character in segment 1 is based on the abusive dad in “This Boy’s Life.”
• Annoying commercial: The JVC X’Eye game platform–which I believe was dead on arrival. Honorable mention: that kaleidoscope Fruitopia ad.
• Tom’s o/` With an awful lotta lettuce… o/` is a reference to the musical “Guys and Dolls.”
• Non-Spaghetti Ball Bumpers: beaker, film canister, bulletin board
• I had never heard of “Lovejoy” before I saw this episode. Just not something that interested me
• Mike needs to come down an octave if he’s really going to be able to do Brad Roberts.
• That’s Alex Hentiloff, the poor man’s Stuart Pankin, as the government scientist.
• Living with the Frugal Gourmet was more traumatic than the Brains guessed…
• Self-refernce: TV’s Frank named that boat!
• The bit at the end is a reference to an old Hawaiian Punch commercial.
• Fave riff: Boy, it’s tough when “Barnaby Jones” out-actions you. Honorable mention: “This is Quinn Martin. We’re not going to series.”
Episode Guide: 609- The Sky Divers with short: “Why Study Industrial Arts?”
Last modified on 2009-02-26 00:58:32 GMT. 111 comments. Top.
First shown: 8/27/94
Opening: Tom’s planetarium show is disrupted
Intro: Swing choir competition
Host segment 1: Shop class isn’t going well
Host segment 2: Crow puts himself in a “double jock lock”
Host segment 3: Tom bombs Crow
End: Crow and Tom struggle in their parachutes, letter, Frank dodges ball
Stinger: “I don’t know. I feel real free up there in the high blue sky.”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• Can you tell, yet, that I really love the episodes when the movie is really, really, really bad? I love this episode.
• Of course, we now begin our descent into the works of one Coleman Francis. As Daddy-O writes: “…those wondering how he got the idea he could direct probably need look no further than the extensive list of bit parts he played in Hollywood over three decades. One begins to imagine Coleman, having spent so much time on movie sets, beginning to think he could do it himself. How wrong he was.”
• That said, this movie, I have to say, is probably the best of Coleman Francis’ oeuvre, which isn’t saying much, but still. You almost get caught up in it. Not quite, but almost. Plus you’ve got a classic short and, as for the host segments, well, in the words of Dr. F., it does my heart good to see Crow mangled beyond all recognition. All in all, a winner in my book.
• This one has an entry in the annotated guide, so enjoy the obscure references.
• The Servo in the opening is the one they use in theater (or one like it), just as Timmy the Dark Crow was the Crow they use in the theater. When they paint ‘em black they make better silhouttes.
• The swing choir sketch is pure, unadulterated genius (topped by Dr. F’s hilarious — and slightly nauseating — victory dance). I had never heard of “swing choir” growing up but I get the gist. Maybe it was (is?) a Midwest thing? Our choirs were more of the “stand stock still in a robe” variety.
• The achingly funny short was shown at the Museum of TV event in Los Angeles in ‘95? I think mentioned in a previous entry that it was really an epiphany for me, since I had never watched MST3K on a big screen with such a large group before. The crowd was just roaring with almost deafening gales of laughter. I’d seldom been in a crowd of people all laughing so hard and loud before. It really was an eye-opener.
• Tom Servo is quite correct about the “I can’t pay you but I can put your name in the credits cast list.” Word is that is exactly what it was.
• Kudos to Jef Maynard for the sawn-in-half Crow. Another great creation.
• My theory on they “why” of this movie is that Coleman guessed that sport skydiving was so novel and exciting to watch in and of itself that it would captivate America, and they wouldn’t notice the almost total lack of talent of the entire cast and crew.
• The ditty “sex for sundries is fun” was an immediate hit among internet MSTies.
• In addition to swing choir, I had never heard of a double jock lock. Apparently none of the bullies in my junior high school had heard of it either, thank goodness!
• I like coffee. It became an immediate catchphrase.
• Callbacks: “Manos!” “No Lupita!” (from Santa Claus)
• But beyond all the other internet MSTie sensations that this episode created, far and away the hugest was Petey Plane. For a few days there, it was almost all anybody could talk about in the forums.
• I’m pretty sure Tom’s dialog in segment 3 (”splash one!”) echoes video of a laser-guided missile strike that was being shown on TV a lot at the time, but I can’t seem to find a reference to the exact instance on the Web.
• Jimmy Bryant may have been the only moderately talented person in the entire movie. His stuff is actually kinda good!
• Fave riff: George Herman Ruth on guitar!
Episode Guide: 610- The Violent Years (with short: “Young Man’s Fancy”)
Last modified on 2009-03-05 14:17:12 GMT. 79 comments. Top.
First shown: 10/8/94
Opening: Servo’s new head!
Intro: The Mads unveil their theme music, “Living in Deep 13″, and demand themes from M&TB. Tom is ready!
Host segment 1: A radio station called Frank?
Host segment 2: Tom reenacts a tearful scene from “A Star is Born”
Host segment 3: A rehearsal for Crow’s one man show about Keanu Reeves starring Mike!
End: Mike and Crow reenact the gas station hold-up scene from the movie, letter, turn your crank to Frank!
Stinger: “So what?”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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I love Kramer! On we go:
• I said in a previous thread that I consider this my “desert island” episode. I know, it may seem like a weird choice, but for me this episode has it all: (mostly) great host segments, classic short and great riffing of a movie written by Ed Wood. It all works.
• Check out the references here.
• Crow’s reaction to Servo’s new head is just one riotous moment of the brilliant opening bit. This is one of my all-time favorite openings.
• That brilliance is followed by the theme song intro. Frank and Trace are wonderful in Deep 13, Kevin is hilarious and then Trace caps it all off with two more great theme songs. Another classic.
• Tom’s theme song, for those not musically inclined, is set to the famous music of “Carmina Burana.”
• The short continues the fun. The first time I saw this, it took me a little while for me to figure out what the hell its point was. Eventually it’s becomes clear, but it takes its sweet time!
• The term “squishy” immediately entered the MSTie lexicon.
• At one point in the short, Tom predicts the girl will say “oh dear” and then she does, to which he boastfully declares, “Did I call that?” They don’t do that too often and I’m glad, because it feels a little like cheating.
• Naughty riff: “Double bag it, son!”
• Coming into the first segment, Tom is teaching mike to singing the “hum-didda-hee-hee” song, made famous in episode 421- Monster A-Go-Go.
• Amazingly there are several radio stations called Frank. The bit is a local Minneapolis reference to a then-newly introduced country station called “Bob that had the catchphrase “turn your knob to Bob.” That station was one of the first to have a person’s name. The gimmick has spread throughout the industry since then (in Philadelphia when I was living there, there was station called “Ben”).
• Non-spaghetti-ball bumpers: datebook, beaker, bulletin board.
• The “gang rape” scene was also an immediate sensation on MSTie internet forums. As noted, don’t get your hopes up, guys. This has never, ever happened outside of Ed Wood’s weird mind.
• Segment 2 is really the only clunker in the episode. I remember when it first aired, people were baffled by it. What a parody of a scene from the Barbra Streisand version of “A Star is Born” has to do with this movie is beyond me. Kevin really gives it his all, though, you gotta admit that.
• Callback: “We shot that fat barkeep!”
• Stupidest line of dialog that could only come from the pen of Ed Wood: “What in the world is a slumber party?”
• Back to brilliance with the end segment. It just gets funnier the longer it goes on.
• Yes, the list of people Frank rattles off at the end is in Ward E.
• Fave riff: “Rabbits…with…big…guns…and…good…aim…”
Episode Guide: 611- Last of the Wild Horses
Last modified on 2009-03-11 22:16:56 GMT. 69 comments. Top.
First shown: 10/15/94
Opening: Mike programs Crow and Tom with regional speech patterns
Intro: Dr. F.. sends a matter transference device to the SOL during an ion storm. It’s “Mirror-Mirror” time!
Host segment 1: The Mirror-Mads sing “Joey the Lemur.” In our universe, Crow and Mike struggle with Mirror-Servo
Host segment 2: Mike and Crow plot strategy, while Mirror-Gypsy and Mirror-Servo do likewise
Host segment 3: Mike and Crow consult The Alternate Universe Manual. In the mirror universe, Mirror-Crow attacks Mirror-Mike while Tom and Gypsy plot strategy
End: M&TB figure out what happened, the Mirror-Mads stop by while a letter is read, the Mads are enjoying their new agony booth
Stinger: Wheelchair Dad laughs
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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Always keep fresh batteries in your agonizer, and let’s go:
• Of course, this is one of those episodes where the host segments WAY overpower the movie segments. Internet MSTies went completely insane for about three days after this episode, which parodies the well-remembered “Mirror-Mirror” episode of Star Trek TOS. It always amazes me when the host segments completely take over (the “Dark Timmy” segments and the “Joel escapes” segments are other good examples). The segments amount to, maybe, 15 minutes of a two-hour time slot. They have to write lean and tight. It’s a tough assignment, but when they pull it off, as I think they did here, it’s an amazing thing to watch. For what it’s worth, the riffing is actually pretty good. But nobody really noticed.
• The mirror Mads delight in “the eight of Chris Lemmon,” a reference to one of the lamer Mike-era invention exchanges in episode 517- The Beginning of the End.
• The mirror Mads enter the theater from the left and sit in seats on the left (or sinister) side of the theater.
• The riffing by Dr. F. and Frank was is marvelous change of pace, and I guess you could think of it as a bit of a preview of Cinematic Titanic.
• As I have noted more than once, Mary Beth Hughes was hot hot HOT!
• Of course, the mirror Mads’ fun friend Joey the lemur harkens back to a chaotic, bizarre, almost incomprehensible (and very funny) segment in episode 210- King Dinosaur. It’s clearly a good-natured dig at Joel.
• Mirror Tom is in full Shatner mode as he enters the theater until he looks up and says “Oh hey a cowboy movie!” Then he’s back to normal.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: beaker, date book, bulletin board.
• Crow’s line, “He’s Black Crowes lead singer thin,” is another example of when they sometimes just don’t bother to look stuff up. His name is Chris Robinson, FYI.
• Nice to see Gypsy all dolled up as mirror Gypsy.
• Callback: Old Timer Billy Slater (Junior Rodeo Daredevils).
• Annoying commercial: Remember when Comedy Central attempted to establish the incredibly stupid line “What the hell is going HERE!” as its catchphrase? Didn’t work.
• Fave riff: “I’m so sick of gingham I could scream!” Honorable mention: “Remedy’s other nickname is OWWW!”
Episode Guide: 612- The Starfighters
Last modified on 2009-03-18 23:11:36 GMT. 105 comments. Top.
First shown: 10/29/94
Opening: Crow tries to log onto the information super-highway
Intro: Cranial ports; Cowboy Mike’s bold barbecue sauce
Host segment 1: While he and Tom reenact the refueling scene, Crow misses a call
Host segment 2: The bots “debrief” Mike
Host segment 3: The United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus performs
End: Crow finally logs onto the information super-highway, letter, the Mads are sharing their thoughts
Stinger: Lady elbows hubby
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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Get “the wife” and let’s get started:
• I’ve told you before that the more dreadful the movie is, the more I like it. This episode is especially near and dear to me. The movie is JUST. SO. BAD. The riffing is great, considering how little they had to work with, and the host segments are silly and endearing.
• Ah, 1994, the year that most people discovered the “online” world, and we began to hear a certain automotive metaphor. Al Gore didn’t invent the Internet, but he did coin the phrase “information superhighway.”
A personal story: In 1994 I was working for an electronics retailing trade magazine, and one of the big stories of that year was that some electronics retailers were just starting to carry computers, though nobody (including my boss!) could really say why, exactly, a consumer would want one. Modems were often not standard equipment on many of the computers that were coming to market. Having been online (mostly on Prodigy and AOL) for a couple of years at that point, I tried to explain that “going online” was going to be the killer app for these things. He had no idea what I was talking about and refused to let me do a story about it. He was fired a few months later.
• Just a note that a quick whois lookup shows that one John Bresee in Park City, Utah owns the domain biteme.com. No word if there is a “crow@biteme.com” address working.
• Can any computer geeks out there tell us what “Looking for uart at fx1050″ means, if anything?
• I love how Crow starts dancing slightly to hold music as he waits.
• That’s Kevin as the first tech support voice. The next voice is Jim, I think, then the live voice is Paul.
• “It’s bold!!” became an immediate catchphrase.
• I sometimes note especially “naughty” riffs, but it would be impossible to do for this episode. There are dozens during the refueling scenes. My favorite is: “I think he has whiskey jet.”
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: datebook, beaker, film cannister.
• A few years ago, I showed this episode to my brother, who was an Air Force pilot. He hated it.
• There was much discussion in online MSTie forums about Crow and Tom, ahem, “refueling.”
• Notable theater moment: Mike and Servo get up and dance.
• Anybody with military experience want to explain the bouncing bombs? Is that what they normally do?
• Art riff: “Christo’s latest installa-[boom]…well, good.”
• Random riff: Crow just blurts out: “I hope they blow up Blossom.”
• Callbacks: “Shut up Iris.” [The Beatniks], “People seemed to laugh more then:” [Stranded in Space], “Eegah” and “Watch out for snakes!” [Eegah].
• Then-current reference: Tailhook. Honorable mention: “Marilu Henner is replacing Vicky!”
• The topic of corn de-tassling also got a lot of discussion in the forums.
• Segment 2 is great, and I know that many female fans of Mike enjoyed the notion of him being debriefed (tighty whitey alert!)
• Servo does something they rarely do on the show–he takes note of the reel change alert in the corner of the screen and comments on it.
• As if the previous great segments weren’t enough, in segment 3 we are treated to a performance by the United Servo Academy chorus. Who is Mike imitating? I gather it’s a classical music announcer who is or was on the radio in the Twin Cities.
• Somebody once dissected the lyrics of the song, indicating where every line was stolen from. This doesn’t have all them but it’s close.
• One of the few Cheech and Chong references as Tom Servo imitates Sister Mary Elephant.
• As soon as the character on screen says “poopie suit,” that’s it. Off Tom and Crow go on a long string of scatology, and there’s no stopping them. Mike’s Joel-esque pleas for them to stop fall on deaf ears.
• The “Boogers” incident actually happened, according to the ACEG.
• Fave riff: “You know, it’s all kind of dull until you remember how sharp those wings are.”
Episode Guide: 613- The Sinister Urge (with short: “Keeping Clean and Neat”)
Last modified on 2009-03-26 15:37:36 GMT. 96 comments. Top.
First shown: 11/5/94
Opening: Gypsy gets a shower
Intro: Dr. F. begins to worry about the missing Frank
Host segment 1: Frank gives the SOL a taste of what he’s planning
Host segment 2: Checking Frank’s background for clues
Host segment 3: All looks bleak until Mike remembers Frank’s weakness
End: Dr. F. stops Frank’s plan, letter, Deep Fried Frank!
Stinger: “Dirk? No that can’t be Dirk…uh, uh…no…that’s not Dirk…no.”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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Okay, taxpayer, let’s get to it:
• Ed Wood usually is the basis for a good episode, but I have to put this one in the “good-not-great” category. Good-not-great riffing, and topical host segments that haven’t aged very well. Great short, though.
• The references.
• The springboard for the host segments is a spate of “mad bomber” movies that hit theaters in ‘94. Most of them are pretty much forgotten now, but they were a pretty big deal at the time. I do give Frank credit for capturing the tone that most of the villains in these movies. His evil faces are fun.
• Daddy-O notes: Some of the exterior shots were done at acting coach Harry Keatan’s ranch in Palmdale, Calif. Several of the actors in the movie were studying there at the time. Ed Wood’s cinematographer and veteran of many films, WILLIAM C. THOMPSON, was nearly blind when this film was made and required assistance. Thompson also filmed the movies in 423-BRIDE OF THE MONSTER; 610-THE VIOLENT YEARS; 616-RACKET GIRLS; 109-PROJECT MOONBASE; as well as the infamous “Plan 9 from Outer Space.” You can see him in front of the camera as the judge in Wood’s “Glen or Glenda.”
• Tom says “I think these scenes are from a completely different movie” and in fact they are. The Pizza Joint sequences were shot in 1956 for the unfinished film “Rock and Roll Hell” a.k.a. “Hellborn.”
• That whole “outraged taxpayer” scene is pure — and dreadful — Ed.
• Non-Spaghetti ball bumpers: datebook, bulletin board, film canister.
• Callback: “You’re stuck here!” (Fugitive Alien).
• We get our first “Wha-happa?” in a while.
• Speaking of callbacks, Mike refers to the the grinning car as “Jet Jaguar” and Crow replies: “How would YOU know?” Fans were doing that sort of thing for a while, so I guess it was inevitable that they would do it.
• We get our first Pat Brantseg appearance since Santa Claus.
• Fave riff: “I’m just gonna ask: Is this a juniper?”
Episode Guide: 614- San Francisco International
Last modified on 2009-04-02 15:01:27 GMT. 76 comments. Top.
First shown: 11/19/94
Opening: A political debate on politics
Intro: The Mads are construction workers, M&TB do the old board routine
Host segment 1: It’s Urkel! Hahahahaha!
Host segment 2: It’s still Urkel! Hahahahaha!
Host segment 3: More Urkel hilarity until Torgo has his say
End: Comments on the movie, letters, Dr. F.’s ears
Stinger: “My job, my way.”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• Ah, the unsold pilot: they usually have great riffablilty and this one is no exception. Plenty of made-for-TV situations for riffing and the riffing really clicks here. And that’s good because the Urkel host segments are a long, long walk to a very little joke. I do like the political debate at the beginning, and Trace and Frank are hilarious as the shirtless contractors, but the ever-increasing ears bit at the end doesn’t do much for me either (though whoever created the ears deserves kudos). This is one of those episodes where it’s a good thing that the segments are only 15 minutes of a two-hour show.
• Callbacks: “Shut up Iris.” “o/` Laaaa-da-da-daaaa o/` [starfighters music], “Megaweapon!”
• Perhaps the ultimate “then-current reference:” This ep was made in the heyday, such as it was, of Jaleel White’s rein of terror as Steve Urkel on TV’s “Family Matters.” He really did loom large on the cultural landscape at that point. I never was much of a Urkel fan…
• Celebrity dirt: Robert Sorrells, who plays the thug who kidnaps David Hartman’s wife, pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in 2005. On the afternoon of July 24, 2004, he shot and killed one guy and wounded another guy in a Los Angeles bar where he had been kicked out earlier. Sorrells had reportedly been depressed over the death of his mother and his dog. He was sentenced to 32 years to life, and as far as I know he’s still behind bars.
• Great repeating bit: the kitty noises Crow makes every time somebody jabs a knife into a bag.
• Non-spaghetti-ball bumpers: Beaker, date book, bulletin board.
• David Williams who wrote the first letter, is now 24.
• Fave riff: “The answer, my friend, is blow it out your ass.” Honorable mention: “You know, Tab Hunter was Troy Donahue at one point.”
Episode Guide: 615- Kitten with a Whip
Last modified on 2009-06-25 01:55:54 GMT. 65 comments. Top.
First shown: 11/23/94
Opening: Preparing Crow for a secret mission
Intro: Crow’s mission to Deep 13 ends in failure
Host segment 1: Mike gives Crow and Tom bionic noises
Host segment 2: A kitten with a whip visits on the Hexfield
Host segment 3: Mike hazes himself
End: Mexican festival with a Dr. F. piñata, letter, Dr. F. has a Frank piñata
Stinger: “I’ll be a celebrity! And so will you!”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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As creamy as things might or might not be, off we go:
• I know, one of my regular observations is that the worse the movie is, the better I tend to like the episode. Well, in the “exception that proves the rule” department, this movie is really pretty good, and yet it’s a really pretty good episode. The movie is dumb and a bit of a potboiler, but it is a competent Hollywood product, featuring several recognizable Hollywood stars. But somehow Mike and the bots get the better of this movie anyway, and the riffing is somewhere between good and great most of the time. Plus the host segments have several notable moments. It also benefits by surpassing my expectations: I dunno, I remembered this one as not being that good, so I was was pleasantly surprised at how funny it was. Maybe it just caught me in the right mood. Anyway, a fun episode.
• The references.
• This episode was the kickoff ep of the 1994 Turkey Day marathon, the one hosted by Adam West.
• The opening segment, with Crow being launched down the umbilicus intio Deep 13, only to be met by Dr. F. (or somebody wearing Dr. F’s coat) caused much excitement on the internet. “The Squab is in the hole” was a phrase that was repeated often.
• Who new Mike smells like rain!
• Just a personal note: This is one of the few movies I had seen before I saw it on MST3K. I know that may surprise the sci-fi movie buffs among you, but I really didn’t seek that kind of movie out when I was younger. I guess as I got older, I developed a taste for cheesy cinema.
• Callback: “The Crawling Eye!”
• Segment 1 is a slight bit of fluff without a real payoff, but it’s one of those segments that works because the performers are so comfortable with each other.
• Segment 2 is a classic example of the writing staff being very literal with a phrase. And Kevin valiantly dives into the role. Again, not much of payoff. Who is working Kevin’s tale?
• The riff “Typical road trip with a headliner,” is a reference to the stand-up comedy days many of the cast and writers lived through in their younger days. Four or five comedians would pile into a car and drive from comedy club to comedy club in the upper Midwest, and according to all the reports, whoever the headliner was among the group tended to be a prima donna.
• Segment 3 is hilarious, especially the bots’ reaction. And, I have to admit, I’d completely forgotten it.
• This is another one of those movies from that era of 50s-60s sophistication that depict middle-aged women cheerfully sitting in strip clubs (another place you see it is TISCWSLABMUZ). Did this ever really happen or was it just a movie thing?
• Tom Servo as Tom Waits singing Jesus Loves Me is a classic MST3K moment.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: datebook, beaker, bulletin board, movie canister (a rare four-fer!).
• The biggest problem with the movie, of course, is that the Senator character is so crushingly stupid, and blows, like, four opportunities to extricate himself from this situation, only to be saved by random chance and the good intentions of strangers, when, let’s face it, he doesn’t really deserve it. But as dopey as the plot may be, it does become a bit engrossing at points. Even Mike appears to get into the plot at one point when he hollers “Just go, you idiot!” at him.
• The LOTR riff probably came from Paul, who was the biggest Tolkien fan at Best Brains at the time (although Bill Corbett has recently become a Tolkien buff, according to some reports).
• I definitely hear Bridget among the kid’s voices at the end. Not sure about any others.
• Fave riff: “Hey! Bingo-Balls! Siddown!”
Episode Guide: 616- Racket Girls (with short: “Are You Ready for Marriage?”)
Last modified on 2009-04-15 23:26:47 GMT. 75 comments. Top.
First shown: 11/26/94
Opening: Lisa Loeb visits on the Hexfield…briefly
Intro: Security problems in Deep 13
Host segment 1: Crow wants to marry Tom, so they take a Cosmo quiz
Host segment 2: Crow’s bachelor party
Host segment 3: The wedding ends in chaos
End: Too much wrestling, letters, Lisa Loeb gets into Deep 13
Stinger: SNAP! “It’s gone!” “Where’d it go?”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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As we begin, let me just say: Ahh! Ahhhh!
• If you can put up with the endless rasslin’ footage, this episode is a lot of fun. The host segments are strange, but silly. The short is another classic (”But I want to marry a man!” “Heh-heh. No, you don’t.”). As for the movie, well, as Crow notes. “When Ed Wood saw this, it was like when Truffaut saw ‘Citizen Kane’.” The rasslin’ scenes are a bit like the refueling scenes in Starfighters: It’s amazing to see them do riff after riff after riff on scenes where the same thing happens over and over and over.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: Beaker, book, bulletin board, film canister.
• This was the third of three new episodes in the course of a four days. It was Turkey Day heaven.
• That’s Bridget, of course, with a scathing impression of Lisa Loeb. I kind of liked her stuff early on, and apparently she’s still out there, but I haven’t heard much from her lately.
• And of course that’s Paul, Patrick and Mary Jo as the strangers in Deep 13.
• References.
• The whole “boing” thing was a source of much amusement in the forums following this show. I suspect “boing” is somehow related to being “squishy.”
• Mary Jo returns as Jan in the Pan, late-night style.
• Then-current reference: Short-lived TV show “Models Inc.”
• I really love the message of the movie, that you simply cannot corrupt a really clean sport like ladies wrestling, and attempting to do will bring down forces on your head that will overwhelm you.
• During the wedding, Frank sings the last few bars of “The Wedding Song,” written by Paul Stookey of Peter, Paul and Mary fame.
• Dr. F. channels Prince while officiating at the wedding.
• Callbacks: “Shut up Iris.” (The Beatniks) “No Lupita!” (Santa Claus), “Have you been noticing any odd occurrences? Oh it’s true!” (The Dead Talk Back).
• I’m sorry, but Peaches is one of oddest looking women I’ve ever seen in any movie. There. I said it.
• The chase scene at the end, featuring the lovely Ukrainian national anthem, is a very funny few minutes.
• Fave riff: “What are you thinking about?” “Playdoh.”
Episode Guide: 617- The Sword and the Dragon
Last modified on 2009-04-22 23:16:34 GMT. 59 comments. Top.
First shown: 12/3/94
Opening: Playing D&D
Intro: For the Mads’ new neighbors from Deep 12, M&TB present topical comedy show: “Supercalifragilisticexpeali-wacky!”
Host segment 1: “A joke by Ingmar Bergman”
Host segment 2: M&TB reenact the table cloth making scene
Host segment 3: Ilya Murametz visits on the Hexfield
End: Gypsy’s review of the musical, The Mads are full of themselves!
Stinger: The wind demon takes a dive
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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I have a plan! Let’s take a look at this episode:
• Of course, this is the third of the Ptushko Russo-Finnish trilogy, starring a lot of the same people as “Day the Earth Froze” and “Magic Voyage of Sinbad.” Like the other two, it’s based on Russo-Finnish mythology/legend, is a very pretty and clearly very expensive movie and is completely OUT THERE. They have plenty to work with here and the riffing almost HAS to be good, and it is. The host segments are fun…mostly. Not much to gripe about, really.
• This was the fourth new episode in 10 days. MSTies were delirious. It went back to the more typical weekly schedule after this, and within months the show was to go away for quite a while, but this embarrassment of riches was nice while it lasted.
• The opening segment is wacky fun, though “I must take my own life” is probably not the funniest punchline, especially for a sketch about this topic.
• The first time I saw this, when Mike said “Mordor and Rivendell” I said “Those are places!” right along with Tom. What a Tolkien nerd I am.
• In fact the Mads are also very nerdy this week, what with the comic books in plastic bags and the fear of girls. Poom!
• That’s Mary Jo (in Deep 13 for the second week in a row) and Bridget, of course, as the girls from Deep 12. Never did find that laundry room, I’m guessing…
• “Supercalifragilisticexpeali-wacky!” is sort of The Capital Steps meets Mark Russell. So, not really funny at all.
• Servo isn’t kidding when he says “I’m Mike Wallace.” It really is!
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: Book, bulletin board, film canister.
• Segment 1 was much discussed in the forums. It moved too slowly for some people. Also, not everybody knew who Ingmar Bergman was, and not everybody was familiar with the Upper Midwestern tradition of “Sven and Ole” jokes, so it took some explaining.
• Callback: o/` “Heeey, it’s the undersea kingdom…” o/`
• Call-forward: a “Legend of Boggy Creek” mention.
• Segment 2 very silly, and another chance for Gypsy to shine. I love the lyrics to her song.
• Once again we get to enjoy the work of voice actor Paul Frees, who provides the voice of the evil Kalin. Crow mentions “moose and squirrel” because most people recognize his voice as that of Boris Badenov on “Rocky & Bullwinkle.” In MSTed movies, he did the grunts and groans for Glenn Manning in 319-WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST and was the narrator in 804-THE DEADLY MANTIS. He also wrote and directed the movie in episode 415- THE BEATNIKS!
• As for segment 3, well, let’s just give Kevin credit for committing to the bit. “HAM,” indeed!
• Fave riff: This baby can handle everything but a three-headed drago-…aw, son of a…
Episode Guide: 618- High School Big Shot (with short: “Out of this World”)
Last modified on 2009-04-30 16:10:59 GMT. 70 comments. Top.
First shown: 12/10/94
Opening: Mike has a headache
Intro: Frank clones a dinosaur, Crow mixes a potion that makes Tom Servo huge!
Host segment 1: “Specialty breads”
Host segment 2: Crow and Tom don’t know what is wrong
Host segment 3: Crow and Tom fail to break into Gypsy’s diary
End: Mike reads a letter while the bots reenact the end of the movie, Dr. F. gives the dino something to chew on!
Stinger: “A million bucks!”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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I may not be a shipping clerk, but let’s take a look at this one anyway.
• I suspect this is going to be one of those “Sampo’s theorem” things, where somebody is going to declare their undying love for this episode, but for me the phrase for this ep is “hit and miss.” Admittedly, the short is strange, what with the fey devil conning angels into tempting bread truck drivers, but it’s a little long and it feels to me like their riffing kind of runs of out of steam toward the end. The movie is just a bit too drab for me, and while the riffing is great in some places, it kind of dies down in others. The host segments are hit-and-miss as well.
• Jurassic Park had been out for more than a year, so the cloned dinosaur but was hardly a brand new bit, but I do like Frank patiently saying “No…no…bad boy…” as Dr. F is devoured.
• Mike really does suffer from chronic headaches, as he said in a New York Times piece a couple of years ago.
• Props, as it were, to Jef Maynard on giant Servo. Movie bad!
• Segment 1 is sort of a state park joke of a segment. Yes, the bread truck driver was kind of a dork. We get it.
• Segment 2 gets off a cute punchline…then keeps on going for some reason.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: Bulletin board, book, beaker.
• That’s Malcolm Atterbury Stanley Adams, the poor man’s Jackie Gleason, as they wry safe cracker.
• Segment three is kind of dud, but I do like the obscure reference to the ’60s TV show “T.H.E. Cat” which I absolutely LOVED when I was kid (so of course it was cancelled). Oh and props to Jef again for the great blown up bots in this segment.
• Mayhem in the theater: Tom does a “Don’t pay the ferryman” joke once too often and Mike hurls him out of the theater.
• That sounds like Kevin as the voice of the dinosaur at the end. Kind of similar to his killer shrew voice.
• Fave riff: How’s the German-expressionist date going?
Episode Guide: 619- Red Zone Cuba (with short: “Speech: Platform Posture and Appearance”)
Last modified on 2009-05-07 16:45:08 GMT. 123 comments. Top.
First shown: 12/17/94
Opening: Tonight’s lotto numbers
Intro: Frank owes the mob $50 large, but they stomp Dr. F. instead; M&TB hit the casino
Host segment 1: Frank exhorts the nearly-dead Dr. F.
Host segment 2: Mike is Carol Channing; Dr. F. gets “hope you die” wishes
Host segment 3: Dr. F. lives, dies, and lives again, but the mob says otherwise
End: M&TB sing a happy, upbeat song, Dr. F. is feeling better
Stinger: Blind lady playing piano
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• We’ve had this discussion on the site before, and yes, other movies (”Hobgoblins” is often cited) come close. But I maintain my firm conviction that this is easily the worst movie MST3K ever did, and is in the running for worst movie EVER MADE (and, yes, I’ve seen “The Apple”). And for that reason, I LOVE this episode. The badness really drives M&tB at great riffing heights. And that doesn’t even count the wonderful, hilarious short. And host segments are a lot of fun too.
• That’s a neat trick shooting the balls out of Tom. I love the way Kevin grunts as he sends each one skyward.
• Slightly unusual: most of the segments take place in Deep 13 rather than on the SOL.
• That’s Mary Jo as the increasingly rare Magic Voice.
• Slam on Denny Dillon outta nowhere! Also Amanda Bearse.
• Carradine has a HUGE list of movies, but keep in mind that many of them are movies like this.
• Segment 1 is lots of fun. The sight of Frank and mummy Dr. F doing the knee test is worth the admission.
• Callback: “Petey Plane!” (Skydivers) “This nose wheel feels mushy,” (San Francisco International), the “Starfighters” music, “I’m dyin’ in a rush!” (Kitten with a Whip). Also, Crow’s: “Hey Posture Pals was the definitive last word on posture!”
• “I’m a dreamer, Montreal” is a line from the Marx Brothers’ “Duck Soup Animal Crackers.”
• I’m pretty sure that’s Trace as the voice of Jimmy Carter on the phone. I think that’s guest appearance I may have missed previously.
• Mike again displays his unexplained and preternatural ability to just become somebody, in this case Carol Channing.
• I saw this. It was about like you’d think.
• Mike does the knee test in the theater. It doesn’t seem to help.
• I was humming the “happy upbeat song” for days after I saw this.
• Nice Harpo gookie by Frank at the end.
• Fave riff: “Ho, guys. Step back and think. Are we all gonna fit in here?”
Episode Guide: 620- Danger! Death Ray
Last modified on 2009-05-14 01:48:04 GMT. 82 comments. Top.
First shown: 1/7/95
Opening: Crow has contact lenses
Intro: Frank is a talent agent
Host segment 1: Servo builds a death ray for peaceful purposes, but can’t resist using it on Crow
Host segment 2: “This is your life, Mike Nelson”
Host segment 3: Crow’s designs for sunglasses seem a bit woman-ey
End: Cambot gets emotional, Frank has a glamour shot
Stinger: Dropping watch into swimming pool
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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Danger! Episode guide!
• I’m not a big fan of the foreign spy movie episodes, but this one clicks with me. Maybe it’s that it’s just barely watchable, the riffing is fun and most of the host segments work.
• This was the first episode of 1995. It would be difficult year in MSTiedom.
• Crow’s contact lenses and Frank the talent agent are a great start. Everybody is so comfortable in their roles at this point, and it really shows.
• Mike wears his sailor suit/Tom wears his sneakers into theater.
• Crow’s giggle, everytime the movie pretends the toys are real, is so infectious!
• Callbacks: Starfighters music, “This nose wheel feels mushy.” (San Francisco International), “We tampered in God’s domain.” (Bride of the Monster).
• Segment 1 is strange, but it ends with the arresting image of Crow’s eyes catching fire. A classic moment.
• Non spaghetti ball bumpers: film canister, book, beaker
• Mike is very funny at beginning of segment 2, warily fending off Tom’s attempt to start the sketch. The segment is JUST long enough.
• Notable commercial: A Pantone Pro-V spot featuring a pre-weight gain Kirstie Alley. Forgot she looked like that.
• Segment 3 is fun too. Perfect progession from slightly womaney to VERY womaney.
• Nice to see Cambot involved in the segment for once! But he’s sooo sensitive.
• Fave riff: “Hi. Welcome to Jack Ruby fantasy camp.”
Episode Guide: 621- The Beast of Yucca Flats (with shorts: “Money Talks!” & “Progress Island, U.S.A.”)
Last modified on 2009-05-21 14:37:51 GMT. 78 comments. Top.
First shown: 1/21/95
Opening: Wallpapering the SOL
Intro: “Proposition Deep 13,” vs. candidate Mike Nelson
Host segment 1: A visit from some party animals
Host segment 2: So, is it 11:30?
Host segment 3: Crow offers a plea for film anti-preservation, but Mike disapproves
End: Mike’s victory speech, letters, Dr. F.’s concession speech
Stinger: The beast is pissed
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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Flag on the moon…an episode guide entry…woman’s purse…
• Ah, part 3 of the Coleman Francis trilogy, with the extra special sticky badness of Tor Johnson thrown in. This terrible, terrible movie, the very sharp riffing (especially given what they had to work with in the main feature) plus not one but TWO shorts and some great, memorable host segments, makes for a classic episode.
• Of course this is a good episode! Mike already watched this during his training before his first experiment, as mentioned in episode 513- THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T DIE.
• The political segments are a great example of how MST3K managed not to offend folks of any particular stripe, but also managed to makes some pretty pointed satirical observations.
• A rare two-shorter (the last one was in season 3). A nice mix, too: one classic 50s educational short, followed by an industrial. I doubt that noted abolitionist Ben Franklin would say “Would you have your slave press my suit?” but I’m willing to overlook that one amid some great riffing. The riffing in the second short has a lot of “fill in the blanks” jokes (which by the way I don’t think anybody mentioned during “joke taxonomy” thread), as in “A booming economy…” “…is not here.” I don’t think they quite overdid it, but I think they hit the limit on that one.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: Film canister, book, beaker, bulletin board.
• Callbacks: “This nose wheel feels mushy,” (San Francisco International) and, of course, “I’m Cherokee Jack” (Red Zone Cuba).
• Not sure where segment 1 came from. Maybe the mention of rum in the short? By the way, during the sketch Tom shouts “water buffalo!” at the partiers. This was a then-current reference. Read about it here.
• Annoying commercials on my copy: This one debuted as Super Bowl fever was heating up, leading to the endlessly unfunny “Spud Bowl” commercials. Also: “Thank you, Mr. Shiek!!”
• Did anybody notice that the opening of TBOYF is vaguely reminiscent of the opening of “The Dead Talk Back”?
• Another then-current reference: “Marlon Brando arrives for the Larry King Interview.” Honestly, it seemed like a big deal at the time.
• Still another: A reference to the short-lived TV show “The Five Mrs. Buchanans.”
• Like Frank, I like to eat lunch at 11:30. So segment 2 resonates for me.
• At the sight of a coyote, Tom says “Humphrey!” That coyote looks nothing like Humphrey.
• I said in 1997, and I still say today, that the Academy should have had Crow and Mike do segment 3 at the Oscars that year (the year MST3K: The Movie came out). It would have brought the house down.
• Frank’s face in the closing is great.
• Fave riff: It IS more suspenseful when you don’t know what’s goin’ on.
Episode Guide: 622- Angels’ Revenge
Last modified on 2009-05-27 23:19:06 GMT. 94 comments. Top.
First shown: 3/11/95
Opening: Crow thinks that he has amnesia
Intro: Desperate for ratings, Dr. F. turns M&TB into the cast of “Renegade”
Host segment 1: Crow latest screenplay is a “black-sploitation” film
Host segment 2: Mike does his Fonz, Crow and Tom disapprove
Host segment 3: Aaron Spelling’s house passes by
End: The shame-o-meter, the Mads are Bobby Riggs and Billy-Jean King
Stinger: “Shine your love!”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• I’m torn about this episode. The riffing is great, consistently hilarious. The host segments however, are mostly terrible. The result is one of those “good not great” entries.
• By chance, this was the last episode ever shown on Comedy Central, in late December of ‘96.
• When it debuted, it was the first new episode in nearly two months and the beginning of three eps in three weeks as the season came to an end. But after that MSTies were in for a long draught: there were no more new episodes for EIGHT MONTHS, the longest break since the break between season 1 and 2.
• I kind of like the “amnesia” opener, because it’s just silly and doesn’t try to be anything more than that.
• But the intro, with Dr. F and Frank dressed as Rollie Fingers and Tug McGraw, and transforming M&tB into the cast of “Renegade,” is, as the kids say, random. Maybe it’s because I never watched a single episode of “Renegade.” I dunno. Just seemed to go nowhere.
• The Reference site has a page for this one. However, here are two I caught that they don’t mention: The much-lamented TV show “The Duck Factory” and Crow’s warning about his “elaborate network of trusses,” a reference to the “Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute,” bit on Saturday Night Live.
• Segment 1, in which we get yet another reading of yet another spec script by Crow, also kind of goes nowhere. But I will grant that it’s building toward a classic segment in season seven, so I will cut this one some slack.
• Segment 2: meh.
• Segment 3, featuring Aaron Spelling’s house: well, of course mad prop props to whoever built the house. Just gorgeous. It’s cute idea, and I do appreciate that they don’t belabor it. Still, it’s hardly a laugh riot.
• The end segments, featuring the shame-o-meter, and a funny bit with Frank and Dr. F dressed as Billie Jean King and the now almost completely forgotten Bobby Riggs, almost save it for me, but not quite.
• Fave riff: “It’s Dworkinfest ‘78!”
Episode Guide: 623- The Amazing Transparent Man (with short: “The Days of Our Years”)
Last modified on 2009-06-04 17:24:41 GMT. 56 comments. Top.
First shown: 3/18/95
Opening: Crow is Tom’s science project
Intro: At Auntie McFrank’s bed and breakfast, Dr. F. demands that M&TB provide some “local color”–and soon regrets it
Host segment 1: Crow learns about “gentle pressure,” but doesn’t practice it
Host segment 2: Frank misses out on “Squanto”
Host segment 3: Mike gets caught playing Rick Wakeman
End: Answering the film’s question, transparent letter, tea time in Deep 13
Stinger: Petting the invisible guinea pig
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• You people bring matches for Sampo?
• In terms of the host segments, this episode feels like the opposite of last week, where the segments were kind of blah. These are mostly inspired. The short is a classic, with very good riffing. The riffing feels like it falls off a bit during the main feature, but it definitely has its moments.
• We begin with a hilarious opening, one that feels very season-fivey then move on to the legendary B&B segment, as Dr. F ask M&tB for help and soon regrets it. Trace and Frank are hilarious. And watch Mike: He never blinks.
• Dr. F does not mention the short in his introduction. Not sure he’s even done that before.
• Callback: “Flag on the Moon.”
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: Bulletin board, beaker, book, film canister.
• “Gentle pressure” became an immediate catchphrase.
• Interesting commercials on my copy (from the debut): a commercial for their “Little gold statue special” another for “Duckman” on USA. Spoon! What the hell are YOU starin’ at??!!”
• Annoying commercial: The “Etium!” commercial in which the couple, lost in a foreign country, follows a little boy saying “etium!” Turns out he’s taking them to an ATM–they’re saved. Cute the first time, annoying after several viewings. Also: One of CC’s “Just say No-J” spots. Talk about time capsules from another time…
• Segment 3 is random, but very funny.
• Then current reference: the now-largely forgotten movie Squanto, A Warrior’s Tale.
• Although this probably wasn’t his favorite movie, the movie’s director, Egar G Ulmer, is well respected in some circles.
• Fave riff: “Here. These’ll blow your mind.”
Episode Guide: 624- Samson vs. The Vampire Women
Last modified on 2009-06-11 12:04:49 GMT. 60 comments. Top.
First shown: 3/25/95
Opening: A moment of silence
Intro: Almost everyone enjoys some Chinese food
Host segment 1: While playing Stratego, Crow gets a message
Host segment 2: Torgo the White arrives to take Frank to Second Banana Heaven
Host segment 3: Song: “Who will I kill?”
End: The ‘Bots read their letters to Frank, who visits Dr. F. and pushes the button one last time
Stinger: “Chief, I saw two corpses in the garden.”
(30 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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• And so we come to the end of another era of MST3K. This is the last episode of the fourth consecutive 24-episode season, and pretty much the end of four years of job security for everybody at Best Brains. And of course, our bittersweet goodbye to Frank, a harbinger of Trace’s farewell to come. It was about this time, March of ‘95, I remember I began regularly checking in with Julie Walker with questions like “so, season seven starts in June, right? July?…August??” She didn’t know and nobody was giving it much thought, because they were headed into movie making. MST3K: The Movie had been greenlighted, and it was taking up everybody’s time. It would only be later in the year that the ominous silence from Comedy Central began to be recognized.
• The episode itself is in the good-not-great area for me. Sure the host segments are historic, and very funny, but the movie is kind of a cross between Aztec Mummy and Racket Girls (not a winning combination for me) and the riffing seems a little less than inspired. Maybe Frank’s departure and the movie distraction is part of the reason.
• The “moment of silence” opening is appropriate and great fun. It’s one of those bits where the idea is simple, but the execution is what makes it work.
• I love when they cut to Deep 13 in the intro and Frank takes a breath to say something, but never gets to say it.
• Lo mein seems to have been on somebody’s mind–Auntie McFrank served it last episide.
• I should have mentioned this two episodes ago: Since episode 622, Best Brains had brought in some other writers to help out as their attention turned to the movie. One of those writers was Bill Corbett. Also in the writing room were Ben Bakken and Drew Jansen.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers (which seem to have been freshly shot for this episode): Film canister, book, bulletin board.
• The references.
• One of the most blatant LOTR references ever on this show is the appearance of Torgo, but not Torgo as we knew him but Torgo “the White.” “Yes, that was the name,” he mutters.
• Trace does a terrific job with the song, but a little pitchy, dawg.
• Frank departs with the wonderful “Wave your freak flag high!” speech and a final “Eyukgaoo!”–the strange gutteral sound he popularized back in season two, but hadn’t really used in a few seasons.
• Fave riff: “Fiends are visiting from Europe.” Honorable mention: “He’s got a full acre of area!”
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