THEME SONG LYRICS


Q: What were the lyrics to the opening song?
A: Six different sets of lyrics were created over 11 years.

Music for all theme songs by Charles Erickson and Joel Hodgson


For the KTMA episodes:

Lyrics: Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein
Sung by: Joel and the Joels [Joel Hodgson]

Joel: In the not-too-distant future --
Next Sunday, A.D. --
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different than you or me.
He worked in a satellite loading bay,
Just polishing switches to pay his way;
He did his job well with a cheerful face,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space.

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst ever made.
Joel says when you got lemons,
You make lemonade.
Now keep in mind he can't control
When the movies begin or end,
Because he used the extra parts
To make his robot friends.

Robot roll-call:
Cambot
Servo
Gypsy
Crow!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself "It's just a show,
I should really just relax...
...For Mystery Science Theater 3000."


For episodes 101 through 512:

Lyrics: Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein
Sung by: Joel and the Joels [Joel Hodgson]

Joel: In the not-too-distant future --
Next Sunday A.D. --
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked at Gizmonic Institute,
Just another face in a red jumpsuit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space.

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst we can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Joel can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call: (All right, let's go!)
Cambot! (Pan left!)
Gypsy! (Hi, girl!)
Tom Servo! (What a cool guy!)
Croooow! (He's a wisecracker.)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax...
...For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"


For episodes 513 through 624:

Lyrics: The Brains
Sung by Mike Nelson

Mike: In the not-too-distant future
Way down in Deep 13,
Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank
Were hatching an Evil Scheme.
They hired a temp by the name of Mike,
Just a regular joe they didn't like.
Their experiment needed a good test case,
So they conked him on the noggin
And they shot him into space. (Get me down!)

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst we can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call:
Cambot! (Show yourself!)
Gypsy! ('m not ready!)
Tom Servo! (h'lo there!)
Croooow! (That's one "o"!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la la la),
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax...
...For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"


For episodes 701 through 706:

Lyrics: The Brains
Sung by Mike Nelson

Mike: "In the not too distant future
Way down in Deep 13
The evil Dr. Forrester
Was hatching a nasty scheme
He hired a temp by the name of Mike,
Just a regular joe he didn't like.
His experiment needed a good test case,
So he conked him on the noggin
And he shot him into space. (Get me down!)

I'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst I can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And I'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call:

Cambot! (Show yourself!)
Gypsy! (I'm not ready!)
Tom Servo! (h'lo there!)
Croooow! (That's one "o"!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la-la-la),
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax...

Dr. F (spoken): "Did I tell you my mother's here?"

Mike: "...For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"


For episodes 801 through 913:

Lyrics: The Brains
Sung by Mike Nelson & Mary Jo Pehl

Mike: "In the not too distant future
somewhere in time and space
Mike Nelson and his robot pals
are caught in an endless chase
Pursued by a woman whose name is Pearl
an evil gal who wants to rule the world
She threw a few things in her purse
And in her rocketship she hunts him
all across the universe.

Mary Jo: I'LL GET YOU!!!

I'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst I can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And I'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).

Mike: Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call:

Cambot! (You're on!)
Gypsy! (Oh, my stars!)
Tom Servo! (Check me out!)
Croooow! (I'm different!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la-la-la),
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax...
...for Mystery Science Theater 3000!"


For episodes 1001 through 1013 :

Lyrics: The Brains
Sung by Mike Nelson & Mary Jo Pehl

Mike: "In the not too distant future
somewhere in time and space
Mike Nelson and his robot pals
are caught in a nasty place
They have to survive the wrath of Pearl
just an evil gal who wants to rule the world
>From her castle below, she sets her sights above
Just to torture all the captives
on the Satellite of Love
(shouted) GET ME DOWN!!!

Mary Jo: I'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst I can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And I'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).

Mike: Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call:

Cambot! (You're on!)
Gypsy! (Oh, my stars!)
Tom Servo! (Check me out!)
Croooow! (I'm different!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la-la-la),
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax...
...for Mystery Science Theater 3000!"


For episodes 1101 through 1206 :

Sung by Har Mar Superstar and Felicia Day.

[Har Mar Superstar]: In the not-too-distant future, Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Jonah, Not too different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonic Institute, Just another mug in a yellow jump suit
A distress call came in for him at half past noon
That's when an evil woman trapped him on the dark side of the moon.

[Kinga] I'll send him cheesy movies, the worst I can find. (la-la-la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all and I'll monitor his mind. (la-la-la)

[Har Mar Superstar]: Now keep in mind that Jonah can't control when the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
So he'll have to keep his sanity with the help of his robot friends

Robot roll call:
Cambot!
Gypsy!
Tom Servo!
Crowwww!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts
Just repeat to yourself: "It's just a show,
I should really just relax...
...for Mystery Science Theater 3000."

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