Bit: Modern Constellations
Episode: 502- Hercules
Crow: Joel, what was the deal with the ancient
Joel: Hey, be
careful, you're talking about the "ancient Greeks,"
Crow: Yeah, yeah,
yeah! But this constellation jazz--come on! After 2,000
years, can we finally admit the emperor has no clothes? 4
stars... "Oh, it's a GREAT BEAR." Right! Or Cassiopeia,
whatever the heck THAT is.
Joel: Hey, what
Crow: Okay, okay,
I'll give you Orion. I gotta admit...Orion's right...but the
rest of 'em, it's just--
Tom: Ah-ahem, if
I could step in here please, lest we bespoil the reputation,
*Crow*, of the founders of democracy too much--the reason
you don't see the same figures in the night sky, is because
new constellations have never been identified to reflect
modern tastes and sensibilities.
Crow: You've done
Tom: I've done
that. A little help here, Joel? (Joel retrieves easel with
boards on it. Each board is black with stars drawn on it,
and a transparency behind each board to show the
constellation.) Watch carefully. The first grouping of stars
found in the southern sky forms a constellation for even the
simplest hayseed, Crow...yes, it's a ham sammich.
Fascinatingly, the star to the left of the main group
forms...a perfect pickle. Next...as winter gives way to
spring, the eastern sky is ablaze with the glory of...The
New Christy Minstrels!
Joel: New Christy
Minstrels? Who would've ever thought?
Tom: Well, that's
why you need people like me and the Greeks, Joel.
Crow: Oh brother!
Tom: Seamen just
may be tempted to once again navigate by the stars when they
recognize, in this group of eleven--"Guernica," Picasso's
Cubist masterpiece portraying the horrors of the Spanish
Joel: Well, talk
about your modern sensibilities. Really good job, Tom Servo,
for these renovations of old constellations!
Tom: And I've
salvaged the reputation of the ancient Greeks. (Crow enters,
with a 'constellation' in his net)
regret my earlier sniping, and if you'll allow me...I got a
constellation here. Joel...
Tom: Oh well,
eraser's almost gone!
Tom: Crow, don't
mock me, you're playing with fire!
Crow: Hey, two
dots, it's a pencil! What could be more modern?
(softly): I weep for the
death of the spirit and the soul.
Joel: Hey, who
doesn't? We'll be right back.