Bit: Cake n' Shake
Episode: 507- I Accuse My Parents
(Joel is attempting to clean the paint
off Servo which Crow put on him to make him feel like a real
Crow: Gee, Servo,
you're going to have to touch up your skin!
Tom: I can see
that! Don't you think I can see that?
Joel: (Holding up
the cloth he is using to Servo's head) Here, spit. (Servo
spits onto the cloth.)
really pink, isn't it?
Buffy and Hildegard are calling! (Reaches off screen) I'll
(Frank and Dr. F. are looking just a
little forlorn. Frank has oven gloves on, and quite a bit of
cake-mix on his face.)
F: Oh, Joel, the stories I could
tell you of...frenzied bachelor parties, and exotic dancers
jumping out of cakes....sounds exciting? Sure...but around
midnight, there you are, frustrated and disappointed with a
fake cake you can't eat and a dancer named Candy who has to
leave to drive her baby-sitter home! What've you got?
F: That's why we've combined
dessert, *and* objectifying the human body (Frank walks off
to the side, Dr. F. leans down to pick up a huge box with
the words 'Cake n' Shake' written in bold yellow letters.
There is also a picture of a cake, with an exotic dancer
next to it) In one easy cake mix: Cake n' Shake! A real
exotic dancer included! (Laughs. Frank wheels in a huge
cake, which looks delicious.)
Frank: That's right, Clay! Now gluttony and exploitation
serves eight! And just think: Now even mom, dad, and the
kids can enjoy a Chippendale dancer at little Jimmy's
seventh birthday! Oh, Clay! (Leans behind the cake.)
Frank (Brings out
a plate with a spoon from behind the cake): Can I
tempt you with some dessert?
F: Oh, Frank, this looks
wonderful! You've outdone yourself! Just a sliver...
Frank: Oh, it was
nothing! I merely followed the easy to read instructions
right on the box! And hey, here's a tip: Just fold the
exotic dancer right into the cake, that way you save a step!
You don't have to wait for the cake to finish baking!
F: I'll remember that for my cake
for the next bake sa-...You what??? You baked a person in
it?!? An hour at 350??? (Begins looking for some way to get
the dancer out of the cake) Start digging Frank!!!
Frank: I get the
F: Just dig, Dunkenheiner! (Dr.
F. begins digging, Frank drops his spoon.)
Crow: Oh, it's
Crow: See, cause
Hush...anyway, sirs, our invention this week is based on the
old American tradition... (Cambot zooms out to show that in
front of Joel and the 'bots there are two junk drawers) The
Junk-Drawer! (Holds up the junk drawer on the right)
Crow: Yeah, hey
did you know that Benjamin Franklin invented the junk
Tom: And, were he
alive today, he would've invented the new American tradition
(Joel holds up the other, improved junk drawer) The
Junk-Drawer Organizer! Finally, there's a place in this
world for those strange keys... (Cambot zooms in on the
Junk-Drawer Organizer, to show that there are various
oddly-shaped holes for which to put different objects. As
the objects are listed, Joel puts one of the objects into
the drawer to prove it works)...ketchup packets, that
linoliem knife with the point broken off...all those things
that, until now, had defied the laws of sequential occurence
in space and time!
Crow: Yeah. And
how many times have you gone rooting through your junk
drawer, wondering to yourself 'Where'd I put that
gun?'...well, now there's a place for it! (Laughs.) And
there's a place for round band-aids, and for that handful of
gravel that might be agate, and your shoehorn, and those
two-inch pieces of string that come in handy some day!
hey there's even a seperate compartment for miscellaneous
grit and lint, already built in!
Crow: So you
don't have to!
Joel and Tom: Huh?
Cambot): What do you
(Dr. F. and Frank are busy eating away at
the cake, in an attempt to get to the exotic dancer
F: We could get into alot of
trouble for this, Frank-(Notices he is not going un-noticed)
Ah, Joel! Uh....(Stands infront of the cake) Everythings
fine, nothing to see here....your feature presentation is a
film called 'I Accuse My Parents'....uh, you figure it out.
Enjoy it with the short about truck-farming! (Goes back to
cake) We're going to have to answer to the Chippendale
Corporation for this Frank--(Dr. F. notices a hand sticking
out of the top of the cake, it waves around).
F: The jaws of life, man!!! Get
the jaws of life!!!
Dr. F. a plate of cake): Cake?
All: *gasp*! (Joel and Crow notice that Tom is no
longer painted pink and is back to his normal colour)
Tom: I'm better!
All: Movie Sign!!!