Bit: REALLY FEMMIE MOVIES
Episode: 516- Alien From L.A.
Crow: Ohh, Golan-Globus.
They produced 'Lonely People' with Jill Clayburgh and Barbra Hershy. Did you see
Mike: Well, no
Crow. I didn't see that, 'cuz, well, I'm a guy!
Crow: Oh, well.
Really. Well, I knew you couldn't see it because you were watching 'Beaches' for
the hundredth time!
Mike: Hey Crow,
the video store called. They have that copy of 'Men Don't Leave' they've been saving
Crow: Say, Mike.
The video store called and said your copy of 'The Lemon Sisters' is way overdue!
Mike: Hey, Crow.
How's your new deluxe collectors edition of 'For The Boys' holding up?
Crow: Say, Mike.
How's your exclusive limited lazer disk edition of 'Yentl'?
Tom: Guys! Guys!
Guys! Cut it out! Let's just say you're both into really femmie movies and leave
it at that. Okay?
Mike: You know
that's a good point Tom. By the way, could you do me a favor and not leave your copy
of 'Mystic Pizza: The Director's Cut' laying around?
Crow: Yeh, Tom.
And keep your platinum edition of 'The Four Seasons' in your own room! Hahaha!
Tom: Oh, sure
Crow. No Problem. As long as I don't have to trip over 'Places In The Heart' and
the rest of your complete Sally Fields collection!
Mike: That's a
good one, Tom! Good one!
Tom: I wouldn't
talk, Mrs. Nelson! I saw you take 'Steel Magnolias' off of Crow's Sally Field shelf.
Crow: Well, I
know you own the autographed script of 'The Goodbye Girl'
Tom: Whoah! Zing!
Haha! Ha ha. (To Mike after several other comments:) I don't think you know what
Mike: Oh really?
Well, I'd lecture you on love, little man, but I know you want to get back to your
novellization of 'Late For Dinner'!
Tom: Oh! Oww!
Boy, that knocked me right out. I'm out! I fold, guys! It's too hard for me.
Crow: Great, Nelson.
Aren't you due at the Walker for that special screening of 'Six Weeks'? Hahaha!
Tom: Whooo! Bingo!
Mike: No, I went
there and there was a little sign there that said you and your pals were there
for the 'Cousins' seminar!
Tom: Whoah! That
one could leave a scar! He's crying, Mike!
Mike: I got him!
I got him!
Tom: You got
him, zinged him!
Crow: Yeah, Mike.
Well, you set your alarm for 3:00 am so you could watch 'Irreconcilable Differences'!
Hahaha! Advantage, MacEnCROW! Haha!
Mike: Okay! Alright!
Alright! Yeh, well, when I got up to watch it, you were there crying over 'Don't
Tell Her It's Me'! Hahaha!
Crow: Well, you
started a support group 'cuz you were so traumatized by 'Dying Young'!
Mike: Oooh, that's
Campbell Scott, right?
Crow: I wouldn't
Mike: Okay, okay.
Well, your dream is to open a theater so you can have midnight showings of 'Stella'!
Crow: Well, you
want to start a Herb Ross film festival!
Mike: (Servo leans
over and whispers something in Mike's ear) Okay, yeh? Well you paid thousands of
dollars for the lobby cards of 'Always'! Haha!
Crow: Yeh? Well,
you bought some of the costumes from 'Not Without My Daughter'!
Tom: Ohhh! Standing
eight count! Go to your corners! And...Resume!
Uh, you called your aunt to go see 'Mermaids'!
Crow: You rented
a safe deposit box to keep your treasured copy of 'Savannah Smiles'!
Smiles'? Cute little girl. Okay. Uh, well you started a fund drive for a monument
for 'Ice Castles'!
Crow: Yeah? Yeah?
You want a piece of me?! You sleep with a copy of 'Madame Sousatzka' under your pillow
every night, smart boy!
Sousatzka'? I challenge! Servo, let's get a ruling on that!
Tom (considering): 'Madame Sousatzka'? 'Madame
Sousatzka'? Uh, Shirley MaClaine. Piano teacher. Teaches young boy. Well, I'll allow
it, but careful there, Crow.
Crow: C'mon! C'mon!
C'mon! Gimme your best shot! What da'ya got?!
Mike: Wait! Wait!
Wait! Who's turn is it?
Tom: It's Crow's
turn since you challenged and lost...
Crow: Okay, it's
my turn again? Uh...Mmmmmm...
Crow: You throw
parties where everyone has to dress like a character from 'Fried Green Tomatoes'!
Crow: Whoop! Whoop!
Mike: You quote
freely from 'Rich and Famous'!
Tom: There ya
Mike: Okay, it's
Tom: So, guys.
How many times have you seen 'Forever Young'? (Mike and Bots exit theater...)