Episode: 519- Outlaw

Tom: Say, was this movie ever released in the theaters, do you think?

Mike: No, I don't think so. But it's a good bet it was on the USA Network!

Tom: On the USA? (Hums theme music) I really like those original movies they made especially for the USA Network! (Hums theme music)

Mike: Yeah, I know. They're great! They all seem to have titles like "Malibu Death Breast."

Crow: Yeah or (USA announcer voice) Jeff Conaway and Shari Belafonte-Harper play a deadly game of cat-and-mouse in "Murder Most Moist."

Tom: Oh Hey! Hey! Hey! Let me play! I got one! I got one! Judy Landers is on the trail of a devious killer in "Peekaboo Lace, P.I."

Crow: That's pretty good! Oh wait! How about: Jeff Conaway is a vigilante who stalks by night in "Dark Underpants."

Tom: Oooh hooo! Alright!

Mike: How about this one: Lindsay Wagner is a sexy speech therapist held hostage in "Tongue Lashing."

Crow: I like!

Tom: Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! I got it! I got it! How about: Jeff Conaway is up to his mouth in murder in "French Pistol." Catch it! Ha ha ha! This is fun!

Mike: Okay, here Try and top this one: Jeff Conaway is a college professor whose secret life catches up with him in "Death Spank."

Tom: Ooooh good one! Death Spank!

Crow: Oh, I got a good one! How about: Chris Lemmon and Heather Locklear form a crime-fighting unit in "The Lingerie Justice Files."

Tom: That's great! Wait! Wait! I got another! Jeff Conaway and Morgan Fairchild are "The Crotchless Killers."

Crow: I like it! I like it! It's got verve! How about: Hart Bochner weaves a web of suspicion between Richard Chamberlain and Ben Vereen in "Tap Pant Desire."

Mike: Crow, I like the way you think! Try this one on: William Devane tracks a killer on a tropical paradise in "The Hawaii Edible-Underwear Murders."

Tom: Mike, I love you for that one! Okay, get this: Lisa Hartman is a streetwise cop who traps a killer in "Cheek Beat."

Crow: You know Servo, I'd marry you for that! But, I have one. Next one's great! Jeff Conaway is a crazed cult leader in "The Waco Panty Raid."

Mike: Eric Roberts is a freaked-out artist who gets more than he bargained for in "Naked Came The Nude."

Tom: Peter DeLuise and Tommy Tune are "Cod Police."

Mike: That's a good one! (Mike picks up Tom They exit the theater)

(Thanks to for the corrections!)