Bit: MOVIES MADE FOR USA NETWORK
Episode: 519- Outlaw
Tom: Say, was this movie ever released in the
theaters, do you think?
Mike: No, I don't
think so. But it's a good bet it was on the USA Network!
Tom: On the USA?
(Hums theme music) I really like those original movies they
made especially for the USA Network! (Hums theme music)
Mike: Yeah, I
know. They're great! They all seem to have titles like
"Malibu Death Breast."
Crow: Yeah or
(USA announcer voice) Jeff Conaway and Shari
Belafonte-Harper play a deadly game of cat-and-mouse in
"Murder Most Moist."
Tom: Oh Hey! Hey!
Hey! Let me play! I got one! I got one! Judy Landers is on
the trail of a devious killer in "Peekaboo Lace, P.I."
pretty good! Oh wait! How about: Jeff Conaway is a vigilante
who stalks by night in "Dark Underpants."
Tom: Oooh hooo!
Mike: How about
this one: Lindsay Wagner is a sexy speech therapist held
hostage in "Tongue Lashing."
Crow: I like!
Tom: Hold it!
Hold it! Hold it! I got it! I got it! How about: Jeff
Conaway is up to his mouth in murder in "French Pistol."
Catch it! Ha ha ha! This is fun!
Mike: Okay, here
Try and top this one: Jeff Conaway is a college professor
whose secret life catches up with him in "Death Spank."
Tom: Ooooh good
one! Death Spank!
Crow: Oh, I got a
good one! How about: Chris Lemmon and Heather Locklear form
a crime-fighting unit in "The Lingerie Justice Files."
great! Wait! Wait! I got another! Jeff Conaway and Morgan
Fairchild are "The Crotchless Killers."
Crow: I like it!
I like it! It's got verve! How about: Hart Bochner weaves a
web of suspicion between Richard Chamberlain and Ben Vereen
in "Tap Pant Desire."
Mike: Crow, I
like the way you think! Try this one on: William Devane
tracks a killer on a tropical paradise in "The Hawaii
Tom: Mike, I love
you for that one! Okay, get this: Lisa Hartman is a
streetwise cop who traps a killer in "Cheek Beat."
Crow: You know
Servo, I'd marry you for that! But, I have one. Next one's
great! Jeff Conaway is a crazed cult leader in "The Waco
Roberts is a freaked-out artist who gets more than he
bargained for in "Naked Came The Nude."
DeLuise and Tommy Tune are "Cod Police."
Mike: That's a
good one! (Mike picks up Tom They exit the theater)
(Thanks to Jessy572@aol.com for the