Bit: OBSERVER OBSERVES
Episode: 805- The Thing That Couldn't Die
(Tom sunbathes while Crow and Mike assemble a model)
Crow: Careful Mike, don't rip the decals Mike,
you ripped 'em last time Mike. Don't rip 'em, Mike.
Mike: Aw, c'mon...(Observer appears, startling
Mike.) Agh! What do you want?
Observer: I have been sent here by the High One to observe you, to study your...culture, and to learn.
Mike: Well, how long's that gonna take?
Observer (sarcastic): Not long, I assure you.
Crow: Well, then keep your eyes open and your
mouth shut, Hood-Boy. And keep your grubby little mitts off my stuff, capish?
Observer: I shall not interfere, I am but an impartial observer. (Speaking into recording device) I have
made contact, and am observing one of the odd gray marionettes that accompany the biped. For reasons unknown, someone
has shaped this lump of epoxy into human form. Perhaps an attempt to comprehend their own hideous shape...more
likely to mock the God that blighted them so.
Crow (insulted): Hey! (walks away) Jerk!
Observer (into recorder, as he approaches Mike): I shall now observe the ungainly peach colored creature.
His humid, fleshy extensions struggle as he attempts to dominate some simple, seemingly-purposeless toy. Already
a sense of pity overcomes me, yet I am repelled by my own compassion.
(Observer rubs a cotton swab on Mike's forehead, and then smells it).
Although his biological makeup implies a...living thing, I'm certain we will discover him to
be but an animated piece of refuse or feces. But I must remain impartial and continue to study even as he mocks
everything I hold dear. I hate him. And can take comfort only in my own cool detatchment.
(Mike glares at Observer.)
He looks at me now, and no flicker of comprehension do I discern in his blank and lifeless eyes.
I can only pray that his tiny spinal column conveys no spark of truth. (Pokes at Mike) No splinter of the horrible
reality that this is all inside. My God! I pray for his death, as do all things that love rightness and decency.
Mike: All right, that's it! I'm gonna put an
end to this right now.
Crow: Get the Clown Hammer, Mike!
Mike: Yeah I got it. (Observer continues talking)
White Boy! (Mike puts burlap sack over Observer, then hits him with the clown hammer, and drops Observer into the
Crow: Bon Voyage!
Mike: Well, observe that, pal.
Crow (looks at desk, where Observer's brain
still sits): Oh, he forgot his haggis hot dish
Mike: Oh, I think that's his brain. (To Cambot)
We'll be right back.
Tom: Am I getting red?