Bit: An Interview with Rick Sloane

Episode: 907- Hobgoblins

Transcribed by Jason Krietsch

[In the theater, Mike has set up a cardboard cutout and has explained that it is "Hobgoblins" director Rick Sloane.]

Tom: So Mr. Rick Sloane director of Hobgoblins, how are you?... Crow!
Crow: What?
Tom: Perhaps you can be of assistance in helping Mr. Rick Sloane in explaining some of the things about the film?
Crow: Well, he seems nice, but I never met the guy...
Tom: Will you just do the voice Crow!?
Crow: Oh, right, right, right.
Tom: So, Mr. Rick Sloane.
Crow (as Rick Sloane): Hello, and how are you?
Tom: Good, Good, say, why don't you explain to the good um, exactly--
Crow (as RS): Good, may I say how nice it is to meet you all, my accommodations are just lovely and everyone's been so nice. Rarely have I been treated-
Tom (impatient):Can we just talk about your film?
Crow (as RS): Certainly, certainly, my film yes.
Tom: When you came up with the idea for Hobgoblins, were you... High on crack? Say yes.
Crow (as RS): Yes, yes, I had been doing quite a bit of crack that day as I recall.
Tom: Yes, yes, good, good. That helps me, if just a bit. Now another question I'm sure everyone who has saw the movie Hobgoblins has on their list, and forgive me if I don't phrase this in just the right way: Are you, in fact, a TOTAL idiot? Say yes.
Crow (as RS): Yes, yes, I am an idiot, that is correct how penetratingly intelligent for you to notice.
Mike: You know Servo, I couldn't help but notice--
Tom: Stay out of it, Nelson!
Mike: Okay, right.
Tom: Now, director of this film, Mr. Rick Sloane, another question I've been asked to put to you by the legions who have enjoyed your film, Hobgoblins: Did someone remove your brain and carefully replace it with rat droppings? say yes.
Crow (as RS): Yeah, I'm on it. Uh, yeah, yeah, once again your insight is quite correct. I was home on night, before the filming of my hit film, when I received an unsolicited call suggesting I try their service, where in which they replace my brain with rat droppings. It was a good deal so I said yes.
Tom: Ah, good, good. Another mystery solved. Well, thank you for your time.
Mike: Actually Servo, I think you have time for another question.
Tom: Oh, really? Oh, Gee, I wasn't really prepared. Rick, how are you then?
Crow (as RS): As I stated before, I am good, thank you.
Tom: Um, good. So, Rick Sloane, you have any hobbies at all?
Crow (as RS): Nope.
Tom: Really? no hobbies?
Crow (as RS): None. (Tom sighs.)
Mike: ... OK, your off the hook, we gotta get out of here.
Tom: Thank you. Bye Rick. (They leave.)