Song: CELEBRITY SIBLINGS
Episode: 311- IT CONQUERED THE WORLD
Tom: Jimminy, Joel. I had no idea that Peter Graves was James Arness'uses brother! Just think: for years James was the biggest cowboy star on TV, while Peter eked out a meager living in cheap B movies, like this one. Whooo!
Crow (as Peter Graves): For me, Peter Graves, the 50s were a time of self-loathing, resentment and bitter recrimination. We'll explore those years tonight on A&E Biography.
Tom: Wow! Being in the same business must have been tough for these two Graves brothers. I mean, the Arness siblings. I mean--wait a minute. (deep voice) Something is wrong on Saturn Three!
Crow: Yeah, how can they be brothers if they don't even have the same last name? Wow.
Joel: Okay, you guys. That happened quite often. I mean it's pretty well known that a lot of famous family siblings from Hollywood would take different names. Its kind of a Hollywood tradition.
Crow: Like who?
Joel: Well like Dear Abby and Ann Landers. There's Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine.
Tom: I didn't know.
Joel: Liza Minelli and Lorna Luft and then Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez, for example.
Crow: Hey! Let's not forget Rafferty and The Gold Dust Twins, Freeby and The Bean and Chu Chu and The Philly Flash!
Crow: Well, you know...
Joel: Actually, another interesting side note is that a lot of famous Hollywood brothers and sisters went on to take the SAME name. There's the Landers sisters...
Tom: Joel! Joel! Joel! Wait a minute The whole point of this discussion was supposed to be celebrity siblings with different last names. Now there's nothing inherently interesting about brothers and sisters with the SAME last name, for crying out loud.
Joel: Well, uh, actually, the film is kind of short today and we need to pad out the experiment.
Tom: (Mock sincerity) Ohhh Say, Joel! Tell us more about these celebrity siblings with the same last name!
Joel: I'm glad you asked, Mr. Tom Servo. Please cue up the music, Cambot (Music starts, Joel still speaking) And the band played on.
Joel (singing): There's Jerry, Jerry Lee and Emmanuel Lewis If you don't like it, you can sue us.
Crow (singing): There's Susan, Morris and Doris Day. (spoken) Hey! This is a fun game even robots can play!
Tom (speaking): That's right. (singing as Tom Waits) Well, you can name three, Aad I can name four Dudley, Dinty, Roger and Mary Tyler Moore.
Joel: Betty and Barry White
Tom (whispering): Tempo! Tempo!
Crow (singing): Marv and Herb Albert are outta sight
Joel (singing): Sonny Bono and Bono Bono are really fun
Tom (singing): Julia and Eric Roberts, say (spoken, as Eric Roberts from Pope of Greenwich Village) "Hey Charlie, he took my thumbs!" (weeps)
Crow (singing): Dame Edith and Linda Evans, either one's a vixen
Tom (singing): And don't forget about Mojo and Richard Nixon
Joel (speaking): I told you guys that naming celebrity siblings was gonna be a gas!
Crow: Yeah, Rafferty and The Gold Dust Twins Freeby and The Bean And Chu Chu and The Philly FLAAAAAAASH!
Tom: He did it again, Joel! He ruined everything!
Crow: You know, with the thing and the...song and the
Joel: Crow! Why must you take everytyhing that is honest and pure and sweet and wholesome and turn it into some vague Alan Arkin film reference? Why? Why? Why??
Tom (Announcer voice): The Channel Nine Sunday Afternoon Movie will be Back with "The Doberman Gang."
(All sing Channel 9 movie theme music. Cut.)