Song: "THE FUNKY 70s" AND "THE 50s"

Episode: 814- Riding With Death

(Transcription by

Crow: Heh heh. A song about the 70s, huh? Groovy!
Tom: Yeah, it's always been my favorite decade.
Mike: Cool! Rock it, you turkey!
Crow and Tom: All right.
Crow: Yeah
Tom (singing):
Back in the funky 70s--ow!
the party didn't ever stop--ow!
The city of Pompeii was doing all right
but Vesuvius blew her top.
Crow (spoken, baffled): Huh?
Tom (still singing):
Wowow! Back in the super bad 70s
the Roman Empire still reigned supreme.
Emperor Titus came to power
and he finished up the Colosseum.
Mike (catching on, stopping him): Tom...Tom.
Tom (still trying to sing): Wowow!
Crow: Uh, Servo?
Tom (still trying): Back in the funkadelic...
Mike (unplugs Servo): Tom, can I just unplug you here? (music cuts out)
Tom (still going): ..70s, the Egyptian week was...(spoken) the Egyptian week was...Who turned off my wall of sound?
Mike: Well, that was me actually. I think we had a little miscommunication here.
Tom: You said you wanted to hear my song about the 70s.
Crow: Well, we thought you meant the 1970's! You know, the decade of today's movie?
Tom: Well that's absurd. I distinctly heard the 70s, period.
Mike: Yeah, but you know, usually when people say the 70s, they don't me 70 A.D. to 79 A.D., they mean the 1970s.
Crow: The 1970s!
Tom: Well, how can people just assume that? I mean, why don't they just get off their lazy butts and say "1970s"? I mean, I don't know shinola about the stupid 1970's. Dumb stupid era.
Mike: It's just a kind of short hand, I can't explain it. Why don't you just play one of your other songs?
Tom: Oh, all right. (music comes in again) Here's a little song I penned about the 50s. (singing in falsetto)
Do you remember the 50s,
when Emperor Claudius died? (Mike and Crow do a slow burn)
The apostle Paul traveled to Greece and....
Crow: Uh, Servo? (Servo stops)
Tom (spoken): Oh no, not again.
Crow: Yep.
Mike: Yeah, I'm afraid so.
Tom (angry): What is wrong with people? How can they be so sloppy? I mean, why don't we just throw out the damn, stupid calendar If no one's going to use it? I mean geez, a bunch of ninies and feebs. (to Cambot) Morons, morons, all of you, man!
Mike: We'll be right back. I can't explain it, it's just the way people talk. (cut to commercial sign)