Episode: 904- Werewolf

(Transcription by

[Cambot is focused on a cut-out of a full moon pasted above the doorway to the theater. He pans back to reveal Mike, Tom and Crow, all dressed as typical 1950's teenage girls, with leather jackets and scarves, and with wigs tied into ponytails. Music starts. They all adopt feminine voices.]

Tom (spoken): Hey, Susie, what's the matter?
Crow (spoken): Yeah, Susie. What's wrong?
Mike (spoken): Oh, nothing… [deep breath] ...I guess.
Tom: Come on, Susie! You can tell us!
Crow: Yeah!
Mike: Gee, I don't know, girls. Well…okay, it's like this…
Bots: Uh-huh…
Mike: You know Steve?

Mike (singing): Steve's a werewolf, but he's my guy…
He's different from the rest, I don't know why.
But my mother and pop, they disapprove…
But no one can stop us, for it's true loove.

Bots: Huh?
Mike (speaking normally): Well, I had to rhyme the two words…
Tom (speaking normally): Ah, okay.
Crow (speaking normally): Sure. Sing.
Tom (speaking normally): Got it. Got it. Go ahead.

Mike (singing): Where, o, werewolf…
Bots (singing backup over and over): Shimmy-bop. Shimmy-do-bop-shoe-bop…
Mike: I've looked everywhere, wolf.
Where, o, where…
Where is my werewolf?

Mike (spoken): Listen up, girls.
Tom: Okay.

(Cambot pans back to reveal a monitor showing a clip from the film, featuring a werewolf driving a car.)

Mike (singing): Late one night, we drove in his car…
To Makeout Point…it wasn't that far...

Tom (spoken normally): Take the Hiawatha exit, left at the first stop sign.
Crow: Shhhh!
Mike (spoken): Well, whose story is this, Carol?
Tom (spoken falsetto): Sorry! Heh heh heh heh!

Mike (singing): The moon was full…he pulled me close…
I held his paw and I touched his cold nose…

Crow (spoken normally): That means he's healthy! Hee hee!

Mike (spoken): But just then his hairy paws caused the wheel to slide!
I screamed! Too late! We hit a tree! He died!

(On the monitor, the werewolf loses control of the car. It flips and erupts into a fireball.)

Bots (spoken): Gee, that's too bad, Susie!

Mike (singing): Where, o, werewolf…
Bots (singing backup again): Shimmy-bop. Shimmy-do-bop-shoe-bop…
Mike: I've looked everywhere, wolf.
Where, o, where…
O where, o where, o where…
Is my werewooooolf?

Crow (profundo): Weeere…woooolf.

[Music ends. They all start to laugh and speak normally.]

Crow: Well done!
Tom: Yeah! It's fun to play a girl-group beat when it's just for awhile.
Crow: Yeah, just awhile.
Mike (beginning to feel uncomfortable and stretching his back): Yep. Yeah, that was fun.

[They all start sniffing and adopting manly gestures.]

Crow: Well. Hey! Say, Mike, you didn't really go out with a guy named Steve who died, did ya? Or…
Tom: Huh?
Mike: Well, you know…there is this guy that…

[Movie Sign lights flash. They begin their mad dash to the theater.]

Tom: D'oh! Movie Sign!
Mike: Later. We've got Movie Sign!
Tom: Save it for later!