Bit: Droppy the Water Droplet Visits
Episode: 1004- Future War
Transcribed by Amy
(Mike and Tom look quizzically at an easel that reads: Water: A Liquid for Today, The Future,
Tom: Is this yours?
Mike: No, I didn't put it . . . (Crow appears
dressed in blue plastic smock and hat. Mike and Tom jump.) Aah!
Mike & Tom: Hello.
Crow: I'm Droppy the Water Droplet, here to
talk to you about water, nature's liquid.
Mike: Okay, why?
Crow: Well, in today's motion picture, much
was made of the propensity of dinosaurs to gather near water.
Tom: I remember one line--
Crow: (interrupting) And yet, sadly, water was
Mike: Uh, that's true, but, uh--
Crow: (interrupting) And so I've been hired
by the Water Council to dispel some of the myths being propagated--probably by jealous solids and semi-solids--about
this tremendously versatile fluid.
Mike: Oh, well. (Crow walks away.)
Tom: Now where the hell did he go? (Crow returns
as kiddie-show organ music begins.)
Crow: Hello, I'm Droppy, the Water Droplet.
Tom: Yes, you are.
Crow: Did you know that there are literally
tens of thousands of uses for water? Here are just a few thousand. Moisten your hair with me and apply a commercial-grade
detergent. Lather, rinse, and repeat for a cleaner-smelling head.
Tom: Crow, I think we're all familiar with the--
Crow: (continuing) Send me through your lower
atmosphere, freezing me into multifaceted crystalline patterns. Children enjoy my easy shapability. Store me in
huge glass-lined tanks and allow grains and yeast to ferment in me. Then just filter, age, and bottle me for a
treat that Dads can't resist.
Mike: Are these in any kind of order, or are
Crow: Sir, we've got a lot of these to go through,
so if you'll please hold your water--
Mike: All right.
Crow: (laughing at his own joke) The Water Council
fed me that one. Anyway. Use me in your cellular structure as an affordable building block of life itself.
Crow: Store me frozen on your inefficient roofs,
allowing portions of me to melt and refreeze on your eaves in beautiful conical shapes.
Mike: (to Cambot) You know what, we'll tell
you what you missed after this, okay?
Crow: Use me to flush toxins from your body
and store me in your bladder.
Tom: Okay, that's about enough.
Mike: (overlapping) Yeah, that's enough.
Crow: Then what-- (music continues as they go