Bit: Goosio Visits

Episode: 1008- Final Justice

Transcribed by Julia Haas


(A papermache goose like the one seen in the movie is at the bridge, speaking)

Goosio: (singing) Goose-io! Friend of maltese children everywhere, hee ho!/Goose-io! I bet your noose-io!

(Tom and Crow approach enter from either side. Goose-io continues singing and quacking as Tom and Crow talk.)

Crow: Oh...I get it. He's GOOSE-IO. Adorable.
Tom: Yeah. Friend of maltese children everywhere.
Crow: Yup. Goose-io, like in the movie.
Tom: Yup.
Crow: Yup.
Tom: Yup. This must be the offall of the perverted mind of...
Crow & Tom: MIKE NELSON! (lower) Yup yup yup.
Goosio: (finishing note) Goose-io! Ha ha ha ha!
Crow: God, I *hate* "cute"!
Tom: Well, only one thing to do.
Crow: Yup. GET HIM! (They both tackle Goose-io and pull him down out of the camera's reach)
Goosio: Why you hurt Goose-io??? Oooooo....
Crow: (evil laugh) I'll make paper mache outta you! (Paper flies everywhere, Crow and Tom get up, Goose-io doesn't. Tom & Crow laugh.)
Mike (coming in): Hey, guys what's going -- (notices Goose-io on floor) Uoooh! EEhh! AAAAAH! (picks it up, it's hat is ripped off and it's neck is 'broken')
Tom: Ah, c'mon now, Nelson, it's the annoying glob of paper mache which you so ingratieately (?) call 'Goose-io'!
Mike: No! This is Goose-io, the beloved folk hero and TV star of Malta! Goose-io was send up here as a good will ambassador! He teaches children lessons about *love* and *sharing* and *hygene* and... (croaks) and you *killed* him!
Tom: Uh...
Crow: Uh, sorry, Mike.
Tom: And uh,sorry, Malta.
Crow: We-we-we were only trying to destroy things that were specifically YOURS...

(movie sign)

Crow: Uh, well, movie sign.
Mike: (whines) Goose-io!