Satellite News -- Ward E -- Bit207

Bit: Reviewing Wild Rebels

Episode 207- Wild Rebels

Transcribed by Lorrie Matheson


Joel: (playing guitar) Y'know, guys, I feel great--I'm flyin' high.

Tom: Huh??

Crow: Joel, how can you feel good after that kidney stone of a movie? (moans)

Joel: Huh?

Tom: Yeah, I'm downright depressed. If I had wrists, I'd contemplate slitting them right now.

Joel: What? Huh?

Crow: This movie! It was like spending the weekend with your dentist! (moans)

Joel: Oh, you guys, listen. You gotta take it easier--it's just a movie. Yes, it was like being pulled through a dark, tarry abyss, but it's only a movie--you gotta use your intelligence to abstract yourself from the pain, y'know? Like, yeah, the writer was only interested in shallow stereotypes of mid-60's sociopaths. You just gotta deal with it.

Tom: Ohhhhhh, I see. The villains were so cliché, they were laughable! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Joel: Right! That's it exactly.

Crow: Oh, and our hero was such a wimp, his only heroic act was to flash his headlights--that's funny!

Tom: Yeah!

Joel: Yeah, you guys, keep in mind this was during the Otto Preminger, you know, time of film, you, anti-hero, uh, plots that didn't go anywhere, that kinda thing.

Crow: Oh, so the hero was supposed to be unattractive and spineless!

Joel: Exactly! Now you're surfin' on my wave. Take it, Tom Servo.

Tom: Oh, um, well, even though this was one of the ugliest extended families in movie history, they drove one of the finest station wagons on the market! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Crow: Hey, that was hysterical!

Tom: Y'know, you're right, Joel. Lookin' at the movie your way makes me feel GREAT!

Crow: Yeah! I really like this "Wild Rebels" thing!

Tom: Yee-hoo!

[Deep 13]

Dr. F: What the hell is going on up there?

Frank: Really, I thought this film was supposed to be an emotional knee-capping for you guys.


(Joel and the 'bots continue to party)

[Deep 13]

Dr. F: Oh, I don't believe it, Frank. This film had absolutely nothing going for it!

Frank: An ugly cast, and an ugly script, doing really stupid...uh...(laughs) I mean, wait a minute, think about it, though. The Citrusville National Bank? The hypodermic needle putting the guard out? I mean, it was so stupid it was kinda funny. It had wit, it had charm, it was quirky, it was offbeat. I'm gonna give this one my highest rating--five skulls. Whoo!