Bit: The Motor Tour sketch collapses
Episode: 424- Manos, the Hands of Fate
(Joel puts up a screen, on which is
showing fields from the driving scene in the movie, complete
with music. He picks up a steering wheel. Tom and Crow hum
to the music.)
Joel (Minnesota accent): Well kids, it's
time for us to go on our motor tour of the southwestern
states featuring many sites of historical interest.
Crow (Going along
with Joel's Maine accent): Oh, dis is
really nice. Hey, look, there's a field! And another field.
(Starting to sound disappointed.) And, another field.
accent): Oh, yes, it's
very scenic, it's just like a scene from... (At this point,
Tom loses his accent and begins to fret) Manos: The Hands of
Fate!!! (Tom and Crow begin to wail. Tom says something,
Crow: Oh, you
said "Manos!" (Continues crying)
Joel (Loses his
accent and whispers): Uh, Tom, you're
crying): Well, I know,
but you're using footage from the film! It makes me want to
pull my brains out!
his accent): Uh, that's
nice, dear. Look, there are many other points of scenic
enjoyment to be viewed with bemused interest. Why there's
the Corn Palace over there. (At this point, we hear what is
obviously someone making a sound like a police siren) And
his accent): Oh my, it is
the man. I hope we don't get carted to the big house.
("Siren" stops, and Gypsy is walking from the left side,
towards the back of their "car." And thought the "car" has
supposedly stopped, notice that the driving footage on the
screen is still going, and the music is still playing. Gypsy
appears complete with sheriff's hat.)
accent): My, my, my!
What we have here? (Spits.)
like we got us some Yankee troublemakers! I'm-a gonna hafta
bring you in!
spits again, and once again we hear the spittoon.)
Uh...aren't you gonna read us our rights?
Gypsy: Well, he
wants me to read him his rights! (Laughs, spits.)
Crow: Hey, listen
man! We don't have to take any cr... (turns his head and
notices that the screen is still going. At this point, he
totally loses the accent) Oh!! J-jeez, Cambot!! You were
supposed to stop the footage on the blue screen when Gypsy
pulled us over!!! How are we supposed to do a sketch, when
we have to watch...M-M-M-M...MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE!!!!
(Totally loses all control.)
we're never gonna make it!!! This is a bug-hunt, man! A
Crow: Game over,
man! Game over!!!!!
Joel: Listen, you
guys, come on, shhhh, hey stay frosty, come on, we survived
"Monster a-go-go", we can survive this. (Tom and Crow
character): Well! My big
scene, ruined!! (Walks away) I've never seen such
unprofessionalism!! (By now, Tom and Crow are weeping
(Frank is holding towels. We hear water
running in the background.)
Frank: Uh, guys? Uh, I know this is not normal procedure
for me to do this, but uh...
F. (Off camera, as we hear the
water turning off): Frank? I'm out
of the shower! I need you to towel me off!
Frank: Uh, coming
sir! Uh, I just wanted to say how really sorry I am about
"Manos, the Hands of Fate." I mean, I know it's our job to
send you really bad movies, but this time, even I have to
admit, we really went too far. I'm really sorry. Now, now,
now, now, that, that sketch you were doing? That, that was
really funny. Now, now, go on, continue on with that. Go on!
(Tom and Crow are still whimpering, as
Joel just shakes his head like a concerned parent.)
Frank (as Jimmy Stewart): N-n-now, come
on, Crow, Servo, uh, uh, uh, I told you to keep playing. Now
come on! Uh, uh, play!
Tom (Still crying): Oh, daddy!
Joel (Takes Tom's
hand): Oh, look.
Haven't you done enough damage already? (As he embraces a
near-catatonic Tom) Unfortunately, we'll be right back.
(Joel and Crow just shake their heads as Tom