Bit: The Feet of Fate/Dr. F. Apologizes
Episode: 424- Manos: The Hands of Fate
Transcribed by Tim Walsh
(Servo is humming and reading a
Tom: Oh, I don't like that neckline at all. Oh, this
is cute... (Joel enters in moustache and pseudo-Hands of
Fate robe except there are feet on it.)
Imperfect One! I am the Master and you are myseriously drawn
to me. (Servo snorts.) Everything I say you must do right
away without having to ask twice. I am evil and mean and
unforgiving! In your brokenness you have failed and now must
repent. Bow down now before me! BOW DOWN!
(calmly): Oh, hi, Joel.
(continues humming and reading.)
(normally) C'mon, Tom, I was just
commanding you to do my will. Besides, look, (evilly) Come
to me for I am the magnet and you are steel!
Tom: Well, you
look like Maude.
c'mon, I think this cloak exudes power and manliness. And,
hey, look, I got a horrifying hellbeast right here. (Crow
pops up from behind the table, decked out as the dog from
the movie. He has red eyeballs.) It's pretty scary.
Tom: Well, you
just look like Maude with a hellbeast.
Crow: Oh, you
mean Estelle Getty? (chuckles)
(evilly): But, Tom,
Tom: C'mon, Joel,
the cloak is grand, the workmanship is superb, but a neat
caftan doesn't automatically qualify you as the devil's spin
Joel: Oh, c'mon,
look, it's lined, I got inside pockets, I got a little
special one for my Mentos. It's even got a cotton
panel...(begins to lift robe)
Crow: Uh, Joel,
Tom's right. It's just not working. You're not the evil
Joel: What do you
Crow: Well, for
one thing, your face is too friendly, and your eyebrows,
they arc gently as opposed to jutting inward, and, well,
frankly, Joel. you blush in the most adorable way.
Joel: (takes off
moustache) This is really embarassing. Oh, great, the Mads
Dr. F: Uh, hi, fellas. Look, I, uh, I, I, just wanna let
you know I know this movie's a tough one, and I just wanna
let you know that I feel for you.
(off-screen) Doctor? Caramel corn's ready. Do you want it in
your Little Mermaid bowl?
F: Uh, fine, sure. (to J&TB)
Now, you realize that if you tell Frank I've done this, I'll
have to kill him, so, let's not. OK? 'Nuff said? ("zips"
mouth shut) Alrighty? Bye-bye.