Episode: 512- Mitchell

Transcribed by Tim Walsh


(Gypsy is reading from a diagram. She has a huge pencil where her ear would be. There are several crumpled up pieces of paper on the table.)

Gypsy: (reading): OEP, EOP, POE. Working like a dog. Got to think. How to get Joel off the ship? How to get Joel off? Charter flight? No. How? How? How to get Joel off the ship, but HOWWWWWWWWWWW?! Boy, I'm frustrated. Well, back at it. Throw him? No...
Joel: (entering) Hey, Gypsy, working on a project, huh? Have you seen my Inside the PGA around here anywhere?
Gypsy: No, Joel, I haven't seen your magazine anywhere.
Joel: Oh, it's got this great article on Fuzzy Zoeller.
Gypsy: Joel, if you were faced with your imminent death and had to get back to Earth like, pronto, how would you do it?
Joel: C'mon, I'd never leave you.
Gypsy: But, Joel, your imminent death!
Joel: Gypsy, honey, I could never leave you. (Gypsy moans.) It's all for one and one for all. That's the Robinson way.
Gypsy: Oh, no.
Joel: (giggles and finds magazine) Fuzzy Zoeller. What a great guy. (exits)
Gypsy: (moans) Oh, I can't tell Joel. He'd never leave. I'm alone with my heavy burden. ENNUI!! Wait! I got Tom and Crow to help me. I'm sure in a pinch I can depend on them to be serious and calm and intelligent.

(Crow and Tom enter giggling on pogo sticks)

Tom: OK, what's next, what's next?
Crow: Uh... "Hardcastle and McCormick."
Tom: OK. (singing) Ride! Drivin' like the demon that drives your dreams...
Crow: Yeah, that's it! (laughs) Hey, whatcha doin, Gyps?
Gypsy: This is very, very, very important!
Tom: Now the guitar lick! (makes guitar sounds)
Gypsy: Can you two keep a secret?
Crow: Nope.
Tom: Never could, never will, Gypsy! (both laugh) OK, now Bonanza, including the words! (Gypsy moans.)
Crow: Oh, OK. (singing) It's all right if I pick a little fight! Bonanza! (both exit.)
Gypsy: Oh, I'm being tested. (moans) Who? Who is testing Gypsy? Hello? Well, I will prevail, because I am good and the Mads are evil. But, HOWWWWWWWWW?! [movie sign] Oh, you guys got movie light. HOWWWWWWW?!