Bit: Joel Escapes
Episode: 512- Mitchell
(Lights flashing, warnig lights are
beeping, red light over everything. Gypsy pops up wearing
earphones and a microphone.)
Gypsy: 20 seconds to expulsion!!
alright, we have this letter to read. Lets put it it upon
still store. This comes to us from a wo...
Gypsy: 10 seconds
and counting! 10, 9, 8...
could you please turn of these emergency lights? We got this
letter to read!
(lights and noise go off.) One! EXPULSION!! (Trap door
opens, Joel falls through it.)
Tom: What the
hell was that?!
Gypsy: I can
explain everything. Cambot quick! Give me rocket number 9!
[Rocket Number 9]
(A hatch opens to reveal a box marked
"hamdingers" which opens to reveal an escape pod.)
Voice of Gypsy:
He'll finally get to be among his
own in the wild.
Crow: Hey look! There's a prize
inside that box of hamdingers! An escape pod. (Pod takes
(Hexfield opens to show Joel sitting in
the escape pod)
Joel: Hey guys!
Look at me! I'm on my way back to earth! Pretty crazy,
Crow: Hey! What
Crow: What are we
suposed to do wtih out you! Who's gonna teach us about what
it is to be human and stuff!
Joel: Listen you
guys. At this point you guys know about as much about it as
I do. (Snow flies before Joel, simulating static.) Listen, I
don't alot of time. My signal is starting to break up. I can
tell I'm getting out of range. Listen, if you look under the
desk, there's a plaque I made for you guys to put up to
remember me by. (Cambot pulls back to show plaque now
sitting on desk.)
Tom: Yeah, here
it is! Look! Boy! Nice job, Joel! Very professional looking!
Really nice job!
thanks. I really gotta get out of here, I'm almost out of
range! Listen you guys, be strong and true. I love you! Bye!
Crow: Well, it's
been a big day. Who's hungry?
Tom: D'oh! NOT
YET, DOFUS! Let's find out what's on the plaque! Press that
Crow: Oh yeah.
Joel (Oriental style music
plays): To all on the
Satellite of love from Joel.
Gypsy: Hey! Thats
Joel: The whole world is a circus
if you look at it the right way. Every time you pick up a
handful of dust, you see not the dust, but a mystery, a
marvel, there in your hand. Everyime you stop and think,
"I'm alive, and being alive is fantastic." Every time such a
thing happens, you are part of the circus of Dr. Lao
(pronounces it "loo.")
Tom: Circus of
Brother. Joel leaves and his last words are from a George
Pal movie? I thought it would be somthing profound! You
know, like from the Psalms, or the Upanishads or even the
Desiderata for that matter!
Voice: Last transmission from
Joel coming in on Hexfield. (Hexfield opens.)
Tom: Joel, buddy!
Circus of Dr. Lao?! I don't get it!
Joel: Hey, it's
my favorite movie, so sue me! I got to go, guys. Hey, see
you later! (To Cambot.) Sorry, folks! I can't come back! I
don't know how it works! Good-bye!! (Hexfield closes.)
Gypsy: Oh, I'm
goning to miss him.
Tom: Well, I
guess he's gone for good, fellas. That only means one thing.
I'm in charge.
Crow: Race you to
the Mallowcups. I found out where he hides them!
Tom: Oh, Crow!
they'll send us a new guy?
Tom: Oh sure,
they're bound to. But, until that happens...PANIC!!!
running widly across the screen): AAAAAH!!
PANIC!!! AAAAAAAHH!! JOEL!! JOEL!!!! JOEL!!!! HELP ME!!!
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!!!!!? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!!
AAAAAAAAAAH!! (Crow falls apart, Tom loses his dome.)
(Frank stares into the screen,
Dr. F. (In a green bathrobe with wet hair and a
towel): Nothing like a
shower to make one feel new again, huh?. (Frank gulps.) I
feel great! Nothing can get in the way of my good mood.
Whats goin' on, Frank?
Frank: Oh, not
much. Inventory under control...floor needs mopping...Joel
escaped from the Satellite of Love....
F.: Well, I see you have the
situation well in ha-- WHAT!!! JOEL ESCAPED from the
Satellite of LOVE???
Frank: I better
get started on that floor.
F.: Frank! My towel and you
hinder have an appontment. We've got to rescue Joel. (Begins
typing franticly.) Oh no! NO! FRANK! He's landed safely in
the Austrailian outback!
let's just hope he landed on Yahoo Serious.
F.: Well, thats a good
point...FRANK! (Grabs him by the shoulders) Can't you see
we're ruined! What are we gonna do?
Frank: Well, we
could send someone else into space.
F.: Who are we gonna find at this
late date to send into space?! (Mike walks up)
Mike: You guys
sign my time card? (Dr. F. and Frank look at him and start
F.: Are you thinking what I'm
Frank: Yeah! Your
not gonna sign his time card are you! (Dr. F gives him a
Mike: Come on,
you gotta sign my time card.
F.: Of course I'll sign your time
card, young man! In fact, I think you'll be working for me
for a long, long time. Push the button, Frank. (Frank pushes
it with a disgusted look. Blackout.)
voice: Say Mike, what size
jumpsuit do you wear? (Mike whimpers.)