Bit: Joel Escapes
Episode: 512- Mitchell
(Lights flashing, warnig lights are
beeping, red light over everything. Gypsy pops up wearing
earphones and a microphone.)
Gypsy: 20 seconds to expulsion!!
Joel: Okay,
alright, we have this letter to read. Lets put it it upon
still store. This comes to us from a wo...
Gypsy: 10 seconds
and counting! 10, 9, 8...
Joel: Gypsy,
could you please turn of these emergency lights? We got this
letter to read!
Gypsy: Sure!
(lights and noise go off.) One! EXPULSION!! (Trap door
opens, Joel falls through it.)
Tom: What the
hell was that?!
Crow: Yeah!
Where's Joel!
Tom: Yeah!
Gypsy: I can
explain everything. Cambot quick! Give me rocket number 9!
[Rocket Number 9]
(A hatch opens to reveal a box marked
"hamdingers" which opens to reveal an escape pod.)
Voice of Gypsy:
He'll finally get to be among his
own in the wild.
Voice of
Crow: Hey look! There's a prize
inside that box of hamdingers! An escape pod. (Pod takes
off.)
[SOL]
(Hexfield opens to show Joel sitting in
the escape pod)
Crow: Hey!
Joel: Hey guys!
Look at me! I'm on my way back to earth! Pretty crazy,
huh?!
Crow: Hey! What
about us!?
Tom: Yeah!
Crow: What are we
suposed to do wtih out you! Who's gonna teach us about what
it is to be human and stuff!
Tom: Yeah!
Joel: Listen you
guys. At this point you guys know about as much about it as
I do. (Snow flies before Joel, simulating static.) Listen, I
don't alot of time. My signal is starting to break up. I can
tell I'm getting out of range. Listen, if you look under the
desk, there's a plaque I made for you guys to put up to
remember me by. (Cambot pulls back to show plaque now
sitting on desk.)
Tom: Yeah, here
it is! Look! Boy! Nice job, Joel! Very professional looking!
Really nice job!
Joel: Yeah,
thanks. I really gotta get out of here, I'm almost out of
range! Listen you guys, be strong and true. I love you! Bye!
(Hexfield closes.)
Crow: Well, it's
been a big day. Who's hungry?
Tom: D'oh! NOT
YET, DOFUS! Let's find out what's on the plaque! Press that
button there.
Crow: Oh yeah.
(presses button)
Voice of
Joel (Oriental style music
plays): To all on the
Satellite of love from Joel.
Gypsy: Hey! Thats
us!
Crow and
Tom: SSSSSSSSHH!!!!
Voice of
Joel: The whole world is a circus
if you look at it the right way. Every time you pick up a
handful of dust, you see not the dust, but a mystery, a
marvel, there in your hand. Everyime you stop and think,
"I'm alive, and being alive is fantastic." Every time such a
thing happens, you are part of the circus of Dr. Lao
(pronounces it "loo.")
Crow and
Tom: WHAT!?!?!
Tom: Circus of
Dr. Lao!?
Crow: Oh!
Tom: Jeez!
Brother. Joel leaves and his last words are from a George
Pal movie? I thought it would be somthing profound! You
know, like from the Psalms, or the Upanishads or even the
Desiderata for that matter!
Magic
Voice: Last transmission from
Joel coming in on Hexfield. (Hexfield opens.)
Tom: Joel, buddy!
Circus of Dr. Lao?! I don't get it!
Joel: Hey, it's
my favorite movie, so sue me! I got to go, guys. Hey, see
you later! (To Cambot.) Sorry, folks! I can't come back! I
don't know how it works! Good-bye!! (Hexfield closes.)
Bots: BYE!
BYE!
Crow: Wow.
Gypsy: Oh, I'm
goning to miss him.
Tom: Well, I
guess he's gone for good, fellas. That only means one thing.
I'm in charge.
Crow: Race you to
the Mallowcups. I found out where he hides them!
Tom: Oh, Crow!
Too soon!!
Gypsy: Think
they'll send us a new guy?
Tom: Oh sure,
they're bound to. But, until that happens...PANIC!!!
Bots (Begin
running widly across the screen): AAAAAH!!
PANIC!!! AAAAAAAHH!! JOEL!! JOEL!!!! JOEL!!!! HELP ME!!!
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!!!!!? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!!
AAAAAAAAAAH!! (Crow falls apart, Tom loses his dome.)
[Deep 13]
(Frank stares into the screen,
dumbfounded.)
Dr. F. (In a green bathrobe with wet hair and a
towel): Nothing like a
shower to make one feel new again, huh?. (Frank gulps.) I
feel great! Nothing can get in the way of my good mood.
Whats goin' on, Frank?
Frank: Oh, not
much. Inventory under control...floor needs mopping...Joel
escaped from the Satellite of Love....
Dr.
F.: Well, I see you have the
situation well in ha-- WHAT!!! JOEL ESCAPED from the
Satellite of LOVE???
Frank: I better
get started on that floor.
Dr.
F.: Frank! My towel and you
hinder have an appontment. We've got to rescue Joel. (Begins
typing franticly.) Oh no! NO! FRANK! He's landed safely in
the Austrailian outback!
Frank: Well,
let's just hope he landed on Yahoo Serious.
Dr.
F.: Well, thats a good
point...FRANK! (Grabs him by the shoulders) Can't you see
we're ruined! What are we gonna do?
Frank: Well, we
could send someone else into space.
Dr.
F.: Who are we gonna find at this
late date to send into space?! (Mike walks up)
Mike: You guys
sign my time card? (Dr. F. and Frank look at him and start
laughing.)
Dr.
F.: Are you thinking what I'm
thinking?
Frank: Yeah! Your
not gonna sign his time card are you! (Dr. F gives him a
look.)
Mike: Come on,
you gotta sign my time card.
Dr.
F.: Of course I'll sign your time
card, young man! In fact, I think you'll be working for me
for a long, long time. Push the button, Frank. (Frank pushes
it with a disgusted look. Blackout.)
Dr. F.'s
voice: Say Mike, what size
jumpsuit do you wear? (Mike whimpers.)
.
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