Bit: Supercalifragilisticexpeali-wacky!

Episode: 618- The Sword and the Dragon

Transcribed by

[Deep 13]

(The Mads sit on a couch, putting comic books in plastic bags)

Frank: Clay, have you seen my X-Men #354?

Dr. F: Frank, you're breaking my concentration. I wanna get all my back issues of Starlog organized in time to tape tonight's episode of TekWars.

Frank (to himself): Oh, TekWars is on. That's right. (Doorbell rings.)

Dr. F: I wonder who that could be?

Frank (still mumbling, going to door): ...that's right, I forgot all about TekWars. We'll have to see... Tonight's episode's supposed to --(opens door; two cheerful-looking women enter.)

Bridget: Hi! I'm Bridget and this is my friend Mary Jo. We just moved in upstairs to Deep 12. We're neighbors!

Frank (horrified, running to couch): Ahhh!! Clay, there are girls here! Actual girls!!!

Dr. F (panicky, looking among his comic books for help): Uh, ah, uh, don't panic! Um, there must be some instructions on what to do. Somewhere...

Bridget (sitting next to Dr. F): Well, we introduced ourselves. Who are you?

Frank (lamely): I have lots of comic books. I keep them in plastic bags.

Bridget: Oh, yeah, I, heh, heh... [giggles]

Mary Jo: We haven't seen the laundry room. Do you know where it is?

Dr. F (attempting to look cool but looking petrified): Are we on a date? 'Cause it's okay if we're on a date. Uh, Frank and I have been on, uh, with Frank, yeah, uh... (takes comic book from Bridget, sets it down on table.)

Frank (lamely): Babylon 5 was on last night.

Bridget (attempting to be pleasant): Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it sur -- it was. Well I--

Dr. F (into the camera): Mike, you've got to help us. We're on a date down here. Could you, uh, provide us with some kind of entertainment? (Bridget sees him doing this and looks into the camera.

Bridget: Hi.


Crow: It just so happens I've written a topical, satirical review that we call--

All: Supercalafragalistic-expialawacky!

Crow: Ha ha ha he he hoo!

Tom: (whispering instructions from behind the desk) Go, go, go! I got it, I got it, I got it! Okay, get out of the way!

Mike (dressed like Uncle Sam, singing):

I'm the government,
I'm the government,
I'm filled with bloats and perks.
I'm the government,
I'm the government,
I'm the reason nothing works.

Tom: (appearing from behind the desk with paper money inside his bubble head, spoken as if reading from a scipt): Boy I tell you, it's not easy bein' the working man, but at least I've earned an honest day's wage and I can--

Mike: Thank you! (still dressed as Uncle Sam, he runs by and swipes the money.)

Tom: Heeyyy!

Crow (singing):
I'm the crime bill: bang-bang!
I'm the crime bill: bang-bang!
I get shot at every day.
I'm the crime bill: bang-bang!
I'm the crime bill: bang-bang!
I'm opposed by the NRA. Bang, Bang! ack, ahh (dying noises.)

Mike (comes up from behind the desk in a baseball cap, spoken like a little child): Hello Mr. Senator. My daddy's out of work, and he says it's because of the deficit. So I saved some money in my piggy bank, and I'm going to give it to you to lower the deficit. If an 8 year old kid can save money, how come the government can't?

Tom: [singing] Honk honk!

Crow: Beep beep!

Crow and Tom: Government gridlock!

All: Honk honk!

Crow: Beep beep!

All: Government gridlock!

Tom: There's a traffic jam at the Congress intersection,

Crow: But the light is red unless there's an election!

Mike: Government sure can get tacky,

All: It's Supercalafragalistic-expialawacky!

[Deep 13]

(The Mads are laughing uproariously and applauding, the women, horrified, and skeedaddling)

Dr. F: Oh, ho ho ho! Ho, ho, was that a funny one. That was a stitch!

Frank: Is nothing sacred you guys?!

Dr. F: Oh, well Mike, your movie this week is called The Sword and the Dragon. We won't be watching it 'cause, uh, we're on a date.

Frank: Yeah, we're on a --(both notice the girls have left, they sag.)

Dr. F (downhearted, to Frank): Pass me "The Punisher"...

Frank: Better double bag this.


All: [singing] That's the Foreign Policy Blues! Ha Ha! (Movie sign.)

Mike: We got movie sign!

Crow: What about improv?

(and into door sequence)