Bit: Crow Goes Hollywood, Part 5

Episode 704- The Incredible Melting Man

Transcribed by Tim Walsh


(Crow is sobbing when Mike and Servo enter)

Mike: Well, Crow, this is it, this is the day you find out whether Earth Vs. Soup, the project that has dominated your life for...

Tom: Years.

Mike: Well, years, really, gets greenlighted for release. You nervous? (no response, just sobbing) Hello, Crow?

Crow: AAAAH! (jumps back into Mike)

[Deep 13]

(The table from Segment one is back; Dr. F. now has a tank of water with a drinking tube strapped to his back and Pearl is on the phone)

Pearl: Yeah, just get it. (hangs up) Hi, guys. Everybody here? Good. Good news, people. Clayton, do you want to tell them?

Dr. F.: The studio's really excited and your movie's going to be released.


(all talk excitedly)

[Deep 13]

Pearl: As a trailer.


Crow: (hurt) Huh? My movie's gonna be a trailer?

[Deep 13]

Pearl: Uh-huh. This is very exciting. This is good news. We thought it would give us the widest possible release and it will help us reign in that marketing budget.

Dr. F.: Well, we still have a lot of work to do, and there is one thing that we want to ask, and this is going to be covered in the $800...could you remove your name from the credits as the film's director?

Pearl: Again, this is good news, guys.


Crow: Just a minute. Let me get this straight. I come to you with a movie. You supposedly get me $30 million to make it, you keep 29 1/2 million for yourself, (freaking out) I get a lousy $800, I don't get any credit, AND MY MOVIE'S RELEASED AS A TRAILER??!! AAAAHHHHH!

Mike: (grabs him) It's OK. It's OK.

[Deep 13]

(Dr. F is now chugging straight from the tank)

Pearl: Uh-huh, that's right. Good, we're all on the same page. Now, I'm going to be at Sundance on Wednesday, I'll be in Paris on Friday, and then Cannes on Saturday, so don't try and get ahold of me. (Dr. F sets the tank on the table) Becca, where are those tickets? Becca?

Dr. F.: Mother, I think I can get my whole head in here! (begins trying to do so)

Pearl: That's nice dear. Becca, push the button. Becca!