Bit: Kiddie Shows
Episode: 811- "Parts" the Clonus Horror
(Note: Lizzie admits she knows no Spanish
and transcribed this phonetically. If anybody can improve on
this, please contact us.)
(Observer and space children playing
Darlene: Hey, that was blue,
Observer: No, it
Buddy: You're in Molasses
Darlene: You're in Molasses
Buddy and Darlene: (chanting) You're in Molasses Swamp!
You're in Molasses Swamp! You're in Molasses Swamp! You're
in Molasses Swamp! You're in Molasses Swamp! You're in
children) Mike, you know me, I'm a patient woman SHUT UP!!!
(Darlene and Buddy stop chanting) Oh, momma do I need a
break. I sure could use that old electronic babysitter right
now. So could you guys quick whip up a TV show? Maybe one of
them public kids shows, y'know, educational, y'know what
kind of crap I'm talking about. (Bobo falls over in
Crow: Heh heh heh....
Mike: (in German
accent, a la villain in any Indiana Jones movie, stroking
dagger) Ah, Mrs. Forrester, so you need me and I have all ze
power. Once again you see zere is nossing you can possess
which I cannot take away. Too bad. Ze Hevidos could have
warned you, if only you spoke Hevidos. Hokandamatusu!
Hawugi! (slashes air with dagger)
Pearl: (in undertone) Oh would you just help me out!
(normally) Hey kids! Satellite of Love is on!
Darlene: Oh, I don't like
that show. It's dumb!
(enticingly) It's got robots!
Buddy: Robots are dumb.
Observer: I took
the liberty of making some fruit leather.
Pearl: What the
Tom: (singing) We'll have fun on
the Satellite of Love--today! (they laugh)
I'm Crow the--cow, and this is
Tommy the timid--tuna, right, yeah. Today's letter--(Mike's
head pops up in front of desk; he holds picture of a letter
"A," he smiles)
Tom: "A!" (Mike disappears)
Today's number--(Mike's head pops
up again, this time holding picture of a "3")
"3?" (laughs, Mike disappears)
Today we learned--
Tom: "A" and
Tom: (singing) Today we learned A
and 3, today we learned A and 3!
I love you!
we learned A and 3, today we learned A and 3! (laugh)
Pearl: Great! Thanks! I'm gonna sneak out and see if I
can find a casino on this crummy planet--
Mike: Muchachos! Veance para la propiaposa! ROMPELO!
(Mike and the 'bots dance) Ooh ya ya! Di hugarme gustamo
presente una letra muy especial--"A."
Rompelo! (they dance)
(The kids are crying)
Pearl: I'll get
you for this, Nelson!
Mike: Ohh, signal de cine!