Satellite News -- Ward E -- ????

Bit: Sony Underground Opening

Transcribed by Andrew (TheUmbilicus) Gelman

The following is the opening segment from a 1998 edition of Sony's "Sony Underground" CD that featured the MST3K crew.


(Mike, Crow and Servo are playing their own individual games on their own individual TVs as camera pulls back.)

Tom: Kick! Punch! Opal!

Crow: Stupid penguins!

Mike: C'mon...rats! Another goal in. Hi everyone, Mike Nelson here from the Sci-fi Channels' 'Mystery Science Theater 3000. Along with Crow T. Robot...

Crow: Can't talk. Must play.

Mike: ..and Tom Servo.

Tom: Block, kick, punch!

Mike: The good folks at Playstation Underground asked us to look at some of their work from the past years.

Tom: Yeah, meaning they bought us off with a bunch of Playstations.

Crow: ...and a mess of neat games.

Mike: Oh well, uh and we're gonna head into the theater in a minute, but uh, first I just wanna get one more goal at NHL Faceoff '98.

Tom: Meaning ya fairly stink at it! Huh!

Mike: Hey.

Tom: Well my arms don't work and I'm doing better than you! JUMP, KICK, TURN!

Crow: Yeah, Mike, why don't you go back to playing Pong.

Tom: Yeah, face it bub. You'll never master the subtle power of Parappa the Rappa.

Crow: ...or the lightning fast reflexes of Crash Bandicoot! (Mike looks at Crows TV)

Mike: Oh really, Crow, is that why Crash keeps getting pummeled by penguins, huh?

Crow: Well it's slippery in there! Hey, c'mon, Bandicoot, ya big....THING! (Mike now looks at Tom's TV)

Mike: And uh, Tom. I noticed your onion head guy has fallen down a lot and, well uh, farty.

Tom: Well yeah, I want him to do that.

Mike: Well don't get cocky it's gonna get rocky. (Lights flash and sound buzzes.) We're gonna head into the theater now...

Mike, Crow and Tom:: UNDERGROUND SIGN!!!