Bit: Sony Underground Opening
Transcribed by Andrew (TheUmbilicus) Gelman
(Mike, Crow and Servo are playing their own individual games on their own individual TVs as camera pulls back.)
Tom: Kick! Punch! Opal!
Crow: Stupid penguins!
Mike: C'mon...rats! Another goal in. Hi everyone, Mike Nelson here from the Sci-fi Channels' 'Mystery Science Theater 3000. Along with Crow T. Robot...
Crow: Can't talk. Must play.
Mike: ..and Tom Servo.
Tom: Block, kick, punch!
Mike: The good folks at Playstation Underground asked us to look at some of their work from the past years.
Tom: Yeah, meaning they bought us off with a bunch of Playstations.
Crow: ...and a mess of neat games.
Mike: Oh well, uh and we're gonna head into the theater in a minute, but uh, first I just wanna get one more goal at NHL Faceoff '98.
Tom: Meaning ya fairly stink at it! Huh!
Tom: Well my arms don't work and I'm doing better than you! JUMP, KICK, TURN!
Crow: Yeah, Mike, why don't you go back to playing Pong.
Tom: Yeah, face it bub. You'll never master the subtle power of Parappa the Rappa.
Crow: ...or the lightning fast reflexes of Crash Bandicoot! (Mike looks at Crows TV)
Mike: Oh really, Crow, is that why Crash keeps getting pummeled by penguins, huh?
Crow: Well it's slippery in there! Hey, c'mon, Bandicoot, ya big....THING! (Mike now looks at Tom's TV)
Mike: And uh, Tom. I noticed your onion head guy has fallen down a lot and, well uh, farty.
Tom: Well yeah, I want him to do that.
Mike: Well don't get cocky it's gonna get rocky. (Lights flash and sound buzzes.) We're gonna head into the theater now...
Mike, Crow and Tom:: UNDERGROUND SIGN!!!