Song: What a Pleasant Journey

Episode 509- The Girl In Lover's Lane

Transcribed by Mikintosh
(with an assist by BidloKwerve and a little fix by Glenn Marcum)


(J&TB are dressed as country music singers.)

Joel: Hey Cambot, can you do that music again? (Banjo music starts playing in the backround.) Yeah, good. (As Woodie Guthrie.) Hello, ladies and gentleman, mah name is Joel Robinson, and nothin' sets my heart a'wanderin' like the sound of a train whistle. Tom?

(also doing Woodie Guthrie impression): The call to the open road, the urge to chuck all and hop on a freight train is one of the most romantic notions of this century. Crow?

 (also doing Woodie Guthrie impression): That's why we've decided to write our own train songs. We hope it brings out the same traveling vagabond, everywhere-I-hang-my-hat-is-home sprit in you. Joel, if you will?

Joel: Thank you, Crow T. Guthrie.

(singing, regular voice)
I hear that train comin',
Comin' round the hill.
I hope that is my train,
I better check my schedule.
Oops, that was the train to Appleton,
but it's going to Circle Pines.
And I've got twenty minutes to kill;
It's a good thing I brought some magazines (pronounced "maga-zynes"). Tom?

Tom (singing, nasal country music-style twang):

Been ridin' on this old train,
Been ridin' it all night.
I think I'll go to the club car,
And get myself a bite.
Mm, this tuna melt sammich really tastes quite nice.
(Speaking, aside) Oh, got sesame seeds in the bun!
(singing) 'Cause it comes with cole slaw and a pickle,
And I must say it's reasonably priced. Crow?

Crow (singing, also doing a nasal twang):

The 5:15 from Duluth
Oh my! It just derailed!
The toxic waste is spillin',
the conductor's been impaled.
A benzine cloud has risen
and the whole town's startin' to cough. (Joel and Tom cough in rhythm.)
Within in a matter of daaaaaaays,
All of our skin will fall off.

Tom (still into it): I'm gonna pick one now...

Joel: Okay. (Thinks better of that idea. Regular voice.) Uh, well, ya know....uh...(to Cambot) Cambot! Could you...(music stops). You know, guys, I--uh--I get the feeling we're not really cut out to do train songs, after all. I really think that being who we are in space, and all, we're a lot better suited at singing about being...

All (suddenly singing the Gary Numan song)
: IN CARS! (four bars of the song follow)