I thought some readers might be interested in which of our catchphrase shirts have sold the best. Here are the results:
• Two phrases tied for first place with eight shirts each (I’m not differentiating between white shirts, black shirts and “lady” shirts): They are “Watch out for snakes!” and “Trumpy! You can do stupid things!”
• Two phrases tied for second place with seven shirts each: “Your weapons are useless against me!” and “You do it. I’m bitter.”
• In third place, with six shirts sold, is “I wanna decide who lives and who dies.”
• Next, with five shirts, is “Brain has performed an illegal operation and has shut down.”
• And, at four shirts each are the following phrases: “If you’re like me, and I know I am…” “Your agonizer please!” “Focusing my attention on the good and the beautiful” “tHe MaStEr WoUlDn’T aPpRoVe!” “Rex Dart, Eskimo spy!” “Well! That could have gone better” “Brought to you by the Booze Council.” “Because booze really satisfies” “This is where the fish lives,” “Mom…’m I nuts?” “Time for go to bed!” “Turn down your lights (where applicable)” “Now, when you see pink, you’re gonna think: We’re doomed!” and, believe it or not, “You’re a stupid, smelly little dummy, who will never have ham.”
Of course there were phrase that sold three, two and one shirts, but I didn’t want to bore you with them all.
If you haven’t got the one you want yet, they’re still available!
And for this week’s discussion thread, I have two questions:
1. Are there any phrases that aren’t there, but that you would buy if they WERE there? and,
2. I want to add some Christmas catchphrases. Suggestions?
) to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our
not a comment to your query but you have a typo in your text….it’s “rex dart” not “red dart”
1. I’m not sure if it’s there already or not, but I’d love to see “Failure! Failure! She’s marrying a failure!” from The Day the Earth Froze.
2. As for a Christmas themed shirt, I can’t quote it word-for-word but the bit in Servo’s essay where he talks about the reindeer exploding in deep space. That, or the bit about Santa roasting like a giant marshmellow in Earth’s atmosphere.
“Mrs. Claus is going to hit me with a frying pan!”
Also, hell yes to the entirety of Servo’s essay on a shirt.
Can’t believe:
I LIKE IT VERY MUCH!
wasn’t selected.
And for a friendly holiday greeting and
invitation to a song what could be better
as a t-shirt slogan then:
“Let’s have a Patrick Swayse Christmas this year!”
(After all, isn’t it a classic)?
Railing kill!
How about one of the lines from the ‘wassail’ host segment?
Open up your heart and let a Patrick Swayze Christmas in
1.It’s a Christmas Miracle.
Well, it looks like a wet miracle and I’m not shoveling it.
2.OH, someone did leave a present for Santa.
3.Santa’s laughter mocks the poor.
4. Ah another thing spawned from Hell, Japanamation.
5. He’s going around asking people have you seen my little monkey.
Swing me that way, trusty string!
HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA! – Krankor
Tom’s speach when he sees his mom in Village of the Giants give it up for a quarter.
My people are pacifists. We only kill out of personal spite.
It sure was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance.
Metamucil, work your magic.
They’re going to find the frozen body of a lonely goat herd.
For a Christmas catchphrase, I’d go with “Santa’s tendrils reach far and wide. There is no hiding from the C.L.A.U.S. Organization!”
“Ah, Mr. Claus. You have a nasty habit of survival.”
And, of course: “Let’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas.”
“…if that’s ok.”
Santa Claus: killed in Vietnam.
Big John Call IS Santa Claus IN ‘O Little Town Of DEATHlehem!
Y’know, elf tastes just like chicken!
Ho ho ho! I’m here to eat candy canes and KICK ASS! And I’m all out of candy canes!
You’re living in denial, Santa!
I want Santa’s elves DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND!
What’s in the pipe, Santa?
I like you, Santa. I’m going to kill you last.
So, what’s in the pipe, Santa?
You know you want me baby!
And of course a picture of TS
as a cheerleader with below it
MRxL!
Put on your helmets, we’ll be reaching speeds of 3!
All right, look alive everybody…oh sorry Susan.
Canned Wassail? No way Mike.
1.) [Just some random ideas…]
Joe Don Baker IS Mittens – he’s a cop!
Dish of ice cream? Don’t tempt me!
I hope a TREE falls on you!
I’M DOCTOR TED NELSON!
Want some?
Go ahead, let it out. Have a teenage cry wave.
I left a piece of chewed gum on your pillow.
Cabot? Cabot! Cabot. Cabot? Cabot! Cabot! Cabot? (And so on and so forth.)
Paul, you is a wahrwilf.
Put your helmet on! We’ll be reaching speeds of three!
Think you can take me? Go ‘head on. It’s your move!
Thong! The fish is ready!
It stinks!
He tried to kill me with a forklift!
…………………………………. help me.
Gene Hackman’s good in anything.
I’m a Grimault warrior!
But you don’t understand! I’m a PRINCE!
Master Ninja Theme Song!
Tom Stewart killed me!
Dirk? No, that can’t be Dirk… uh-uh… no… that’s not Dirk…no…
Creeper, Creeper, Creeper! YOU give me the creeps!
I’m not an alien!
You’re hittin’ the BOOZE again, huh?
You know, Captain, every year of my life I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful, if we’ll just take the time to look at it.
Rowsdower!
Rock ‘n’ roll Martian!
2.) Ho ho ho, Santa left his medication at home!
Santa’s gonna cut you, man! Santa’s a blade man, man!
This is New Santa calling!
(Also, why not throw in some Space Mutiny quotes to pad out the Christmas shirt possibilities?)
I don’t know if this helps, but ho ho ho.
It has to be noted that Captain Santa Claus really is failing here.
Christmas comes to Santa!
(Or maybe even one from “The Puma Man”?)
It’s an Aztec Family Christmas!
“Fish bites, Mother!”
How about “Hi-Keeba!” There must be a reason you don’t have that on a shirt yet, though.
As for Christmas themed stuff, my favorite is actually from the intro to the syndicated MST3K hour version of “Santa Claus vs The Martians”:
“Whether you view Santa Claus as a sprightly minister of Yuletide cheer, or a skulking gnome unfit to play ambassador to any religion, it’s doubtful you’d want to see him kidnapped by Martians.”
Too long for a shirt, and most people wouldn’t get it, though.
“I’ll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car.”
I’d buy a couple that said “Oh, for fun!”
Suggestion: If you can’t find a suitable
holiday gift t-shirt you could always
purchase a Hamlet Action Toy Figure.
Disclaimer: Hamlet gives REALLY long speeches.
What, no croutons?!
Now that I’m driving those gazelles don’t have a chance!
An American werewolf in traffic.
Mike vs. Joel flamewar veteran
1. “I take care of the place while the Master is away.”
2. “Droppo, you’re the laziest man on Mars.”
“Torg, come out of the space ship!”
“Santa, you’re about as funny as a train wreck.”
“Not since the orgy scene in Caligula!”
“Selling toys to dyslexic kids.”
“Will you buy me a Golden Globe?”
“Pack your other mustache!”
“JOIKE”
“Santa’s playing Freecell.”
“Wanna see me shake like a bowl full of jelly?”
My votes on whats been mentioned:
“Ah, Mr. Claus. You have a nasty habit of survival.”
Canned Wassail? No way Mike.
Santa’s gonna cut you, man! Santa’s a blade man, man!
“Whether you view Santa Claus as a sprightly minister of Yuletide cheer, or a skulking gnome unfit to play ambassador to any religion, it’s doubtful you’d want to see him kidnapped by Martians.”
“I’ll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car.”
(but that would work best with a picture of Santa)
Can’t think of any Christmas slogans, but I can’t believe you didn’t use:
“Is that stud coming?”
“Deep Hurting!
“Oh, the Japan-ity!”
“I really do like pie.”
“Live around here much?”
Oh, and…
“I have Roe G. Pantium Complex.”
(Spelling open for debate.)
lol i love catchphrase tees.
i would so buy a shirt that said
1-A pic of joel and the bots,with fifties font that says”Ice cream i love this party!
2-a tshirt that had pics of torgo,trumpy,rex dart,and other notirous ovie characters and have it say Mystie hall of fame
3-Push the button frank
4-I beat DR.F in show choir
5-richard basheart
and as for christmas
6-I survived manos hands of fate*with year that the episode came out itescapes me(
1-Can’t we have a patrick swayze christmas
2-a tshirt with all the lyrics to patrick swayze christmas
3-a pic of J&tb,oe M&tb with santa hats and it says”Merry christmas from the SOl
4-I survived santa claus conquering the martians
5-a pic of tom in a tux,that says”Servo-a collection of solar christmas hits,with maybe a pic of joel and crow in the background .like servo in front,with joel and crow in the back
and when i say joel mike could be subbed.i just like joel lol.
oh and “One of my classmates die din the kiln today mother
and also
1-Oh yes this is fun what with the used lamps and the festoonery
2-Servo-the man the mystery,the legend*Same with joel and crow
and last one i promise-
a shirt with the entire pink girls song lyrics on them
these two girls they make quite a pair
they both come from your worst nightmare
they* i cannot remmebr that line*
they are agents of Sat-Stop it tom
Just watched Beast of Yucca Flats so
“Shoot the movie first, ask questions later.”
“Flag on the moon”
“A thin plot; endlessly re-stated.”
How about a couple for those of us now finding silver in our hair and our eyes going out of focus a bit:
“More gray asses!” [which seems to somehow say “look out- there’s a pack of Boomers coming”] and “Danger- bifocals.”
It’d be fun- and ridiculous- to have a shirt with Peter Graves’ moving soliloquy from the end of It Conquered the World. And have the text repeated on the back- and the inside front- and maybe the back of the inside- and on the collar- and-
I must say I enjoy the puzzled but amused looks I get from the neighbors etc. when wearing my [by now love-worn] “It’s Fun When There Are Things!” shirt while doing yardwork.
Also just watched Creeping Terror:
“Well, if that don’t beat all”
“My god, what is it!?”
We could just go on and on with this topic. I painted the inside of my house over the long weekend and watched/listened to at least six eps and every time heard a riff like it was new that made me think “that’d make a great t-shirt!”
It’s absooldtly fass-in-at-ing.
Sorry guys- there is an “Oh for Fun” shirt. Missed it. Breaking out the old checkbook right now!
I have a friend who is a mental health counselor, and I briefly contemplated getting her “I’m a Danger to Myself and Others”- oh, what the heck. Xmas is coming, isn’t it?
“The New Alan Hale Action Figure!:
He sits down, He snacks, He sits down again,
He farts, He drives, He comes with his own lunch!”
“Let’s all have a Patrick Swayze Christmas!” would be my top pick for a Christmas shirt. Second choice would be “Merry Christmas…if that’s OK.”
Also, I concur mightily with previous picks:
“Joe Don Baker IS Mittens. He’s a cop!”
“He tried to kill me with a forklift! Ole’!”
“Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in!”
Great idea with the “Joike” shirt!
I’d like one with a picture of santa with a pipe with the caption “smoking is good for you”
General reminders:
“Hikeeba” and “Push the button, Frank” and “Rowsdower” are phrases sold in one way or another by BBI, and we agreed not to use anything they’ve used.
There are not going to be pictures on any of these (though I suppose using shots from SCCTM is feasible since it’s in public domain)…maybe next year.
Thanks everybody for the great suggestions so far! You’ve been a big help.
“Is your wife seein’ anyone right now?” For the life of me I can’t remember what that is from…can someone help me out?
“Yes, its objectified, dehumanized circus on ice”
“Oh, the previous tenant didn’t flush”
“I’m not that omnipitent Pearl”
Somebody had this the last time youtook suggestions for t-shirts, but I searched it and couldn’t find it, but never-the-less, I have a different version of it:
“It’s the 00’s, do alot of meth and vote for Sarah Palin.”
“Look Polish”
“Finally Christmas comes to Santa”
Sorry that I’m just seconding other’s suggestions, but I love ‘Let’s Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas’! And ‘Santa Claus, killed in Viet Nam.’
Also, Jessie’s idea of a mistie hall of fame shirt.
One new suggestion: Santa saying ‘Help me, Merlin!’
I got some interesting responses at Thanksgiving when I wore my “Why doesn’t Johnny care?” t-shirt.
The best was from my young nephew John: upon reading the shirt, he exclaimed “But I do care!”
I don’t know if it’s possible, but my wife’s still holding out for a “Kitty!” t-shirt.
IDK how i forgot,but i would love a shirt that said
Meanwhile,in YET another movie