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Weekend Discussion Thread: Worst Performance by an ActorLast week we did actresses. Ladies first. This time it’s guys’ turn.
Worst performance by an actor? My pick is a little rough, because he’s recently deceased, but I gotta say it: Ray Dennis Steckler, aka Cash Flagg in “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies.” Whatever his merits as a director (and we’ll discuss that next week) as an actor he makes Hal Warren in “Manos” look like Lawrence Olivier. What’s your pick? 140 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Worst Performance by an Actor”Commenting at Satellite News
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After watching more of The Sinister Urge, I’m realizing that I’m echoing #43 Thomas K. Dye. He’s right about Carl Anthony.
A mild but persistent rash on your house, Pemmican! :shakes fist angrily: Boggy Creek 2 was the movie I came in to mention! Specifically, I wanted to nominate Charles Pierce, Sr. It’s not just his acting. It’s his smug, condescending attitude towards his fellow characters and and even more smug narration through the whole dang movie. That,and his skintight short shorts that highlight his midlife pudge and chicken legs. Puke.
For me, the only saving grace that movie did was showing where I used to sleep (Reid Hall) in a shot in the movie. However, it did a far larger disservice to the fine people of my home state, as noted in the web guide.
To summarize: Charles B. Pierce: smug, disgusting, pervy and stupid.
Easy. The lab assistant dealing with the lost mouse in “Revenge of the Creature.” He was terrible, and I doubt he ever worked again.
How about Ted Husing’s boyfriend Ross Allen in “Catching Trouble”? All of his lines are obviously set up and poorly delivered.
A thread as entertaining as it is cathartic, there’s a blur going between Worst Actor and Most Irritating Presence and Most Hateful Presence.
Most Irritating Presence is best illustrated by attempts at comedic performances, you Dropo and the 2 leering, juvenile serviceman in The Attack of The The Eye Creatures.
Most Hateful Presence is exemplified by one who would aspire to be sympathetic protagonist, yea verily, Hero and yet inspires the viewer with a desire to slap to infinity and beyond. Here, we are talking about your Joe Don Bakers, Hal Warrens, Cash Flaggs, Charles Pierce, Srs. Paper Chase Guys, John Agars. This is a rich category.
But as a faithful viewer whose repeatedly viewed collection lacks only half of season 1 and the KTMA(sp?) year, there is a towering non-performance, so astounding that it dominates shots where he is tacit, a performance that defines Distraction, a performance that appears informed by a Herculean struggle between “What is My Next Line?” and “Why Am I Here?”
I give you,
Lance Fuller
Like last week I can’t decide on just one. Can’t we do a Best Performance by Actress/Actor? True there aren’t much, but there are some gems in MST’d movies.
Anyway, here are my offerings to the thread (in no particular order).
5. Troxartas from Deathstalker – “I… put the beats… in my own… script and I’m… sticking… with… them.”
4. The Commissioner from X Marks the Spot – “Without energy! Would you move?!”
3. Ross Allen from Catching Trouble – “Ross is no actor, as you can see.”
2. Runaway from Future War – “I preferred his grunting.”
1. Lance Fuller in The She Creature – “Don’t act! Don’t act!”
to #88 adoptadog: I’m glad I’m not the only one to find him so over-the-top annoying!
Worst performance by an Ator? Well, that’d have to go to Miles O’Keefe, if I’m not mistaken! That was an easy one.
Yikes, this one is even rougher than last week. Good choices all over…Carl Anthony, Hal Warren, Thom Christopher, Aldo Farnese, Anthony Cardoza, and Robert Ginty are my top six. Truthfully, I actually had to be reminded of how terrible most of these guys’ peformances were. Except one. The guy that first popped into my head when the phrase “Worst Actor” was said. I’ll have to choose Anthony Cardoza.
Consider Eagah!
There is a three way tie for most memorable performances;
Arch Hall Jr- Wowie wow wow!
Arch Hall Sr AKA Watters- Pre-rape ‘encouragement’ to daughter.
R Keil-Tongue lolling scene.
My pick would go to Watters for wearing black sox, dress shoes and a duffel bag to carry a bottle of aspirins for Mojave desert hiking.
#98: I don’t know. My memories are a little vague. But I’m guessing it’s a push. Check out some of the reviews on this page:
Huh, looks like the spam filter isn’t allowing that link. At any rate, there’s a region 2 DVD of Yor, Hunter From the Future over at the big internet shopping site whose name corresponds to a South American river…
OH man! CastleFreak – thank you for the flashback to “Yor – Hunter from the future”. I used to watch that flick when I was a kid. I was a sucker for bad sword and sorcery films and that puppy along with “Ator – The Fighting Eagle” got regular play on my VCR. I’ve always loved bad movies.
As for worst actor. In a supporting catagory I’d have to go with the actor playing Cook in “Red Zone Cuba”. He’s wretched in every scene, but his best moment has to be “Water… sick man…” What was going on there? Don’t know. His little cameo in “Skydivers” is just was wooden and lost sounding. And ever notice that his tie is flipped over his shoulder. Was that some kind of signal?
As for best actor, I’ve gotta give it to Hal Warren. He was outacted by Torgo… TORGO! Hal doesn’t convince me on any level. I don’t believe he’s a father, a hero, or even human. I think he’s some kind of animated lump of clay that attempts to be human – but is just not up to it. I’m sure Hal was pretty normal in real life but his acting is just plain bad.
Special mention goes to Coleman Francis in “Red Zone Cuba”. There are a few moments where I believe that Francis is unstable. He has this dead look in his eyes at times, and that fits the character of Griffin. But I’m not sure if that was intentional or just a side effect.
Personally I prefer overacting to wooden acting. At least overactors enteratain. Someone like Mr. Warren only causes pain.
Roman,
I enjoyed your commentary on Hal Warren.
My theory is that he just could not shake the smell of fertilizer, a constant grimace-inducing sensation.
My pick?
Best Actor:
Johnny Ride from “The Sinister Urge”
Mike: “What do I do with my arms? Oh no.”
He’s so awkward and horrible – you can SEE the words on the script as he’s saying them.
Best Supporting Actor:
‘Baby Face’ from “Secret Agent Super Dragon”
What the heck is this guy all about? “Nay!”
“Easy. The lab assistant dealing with the lost mouse in “Revenge of the Creature.” He was terrible, and I doubt he ever worked again.”
I think you win the thread.
“a performance that appears informed by a Herculean struggle between “What is My Next Line?” and “Why Am I Here?””
Although that takes a close second.
I’m gonna cast a vote for Lance Fuller as well, although as has been pointed out, his is not the most frustrating performance . . . merely the one with the least effort.
The only other contender in my mind is the (voice) actor who shouted “I’M COMEEEENG!” in Delta Knights. WTF? Who thought *that* contributed something worthwhile to the dignity or mood of the film?
I’m in error. I just watched Hamlet and some of the dubbers have accents and some don’t.
My Top (or Bottom) Five:
#5: Charles B. Pierce in “Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues” – As an Arkansas native, I hereby disown him on behalf of the entire state.
#4: Donald Moore in “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” – He played The Fat Man. And really, could he have played anyone else?
Actually, as an aside, I’d like to defend Raul Julia and his performance here. Yeah, it was cheesy as all hell, but c’mon. He kinda made a career of being the best actor in a crappy movie. He seriously added a touch of class to some of the most unwatchable dreck in cinema history. Cut him some slack. Now back to the list…
#3: Oscar Martin in “Pod People” – The little kid who played Tommy. Yes, I realize the performance was dubbed into English, but I doubt the original Spanish soundtrack was any better. For cryin’ out loud, the guy in the Trumpy suit out-acted him!
#2: Robert Ginty in “Warrior of the Lost World” – There’s a difference between stand-offish and phoning it in. Learn it.
#1: Thom Christopher in “Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell” – This guy was aggressively bad. As if he was wishing harm on everyone who was watching. Well, he got his wish.
You may have already addressed it, but I think there needs to be 2 categories, one for actors who clearly aren’t actors, and one for talented actors who clearly half-assed their way through and should be completely embarrassed by what they’ve created. For my money, Frank Finlay’s stammering, joke of a performance in “The Deadly Bees” is tops in the later category. A truly bad performance by a gifted actor. Guy Doleman’s performance in the same film comes in a close 2nd, followed by Raul Julia. But, Raul Julia did have to film his in Canada, so he might deserve a mulligan.
Speaking of bad MST3K actors, I just noticed that the crazed militia man from Werewolf appears in the Soundgarden video Black Hole Sun. Wow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiSkyEyBczU&feature=related
Raptorial Talon (#116): As far as “Quest of the Delta Knights” goes, we can’t forget noted TV actor Richard Kind as Wamthool (!!!), the fey whiney wizard.
I’m not sure if he’d be considered a lead, but how about the guy who played Jonathan the strip-mall store critic in Merlin’s Magical Shop of Mystical Wonders? Did anyoen buy a single line that he uttered?
That being said, I’d give the nod to Tony Cardoza. His role as the Soviet agent in Beast of Yucca Flats and as the star of Skydivers established his wooden, lifeless acting style. But it’s his daring dual roles in Red Zone Cuba (Landis and Castro) that really defines his career. He is not only utterly unable to convey any emotion in any of his big scenes (throwing Cliff Weismeyer down the well, the scene where Coleman steals his father’s ring), he also provides a completely unconvincing Castro. When your job is to sit down at a table and ride around in a jeep in a convincing way, and you fail at that, then you have accomplished somthing amazing.
I think it is pretty remarkable testiment to how bad these movies are that the actor who protrayed the Phantom of Krankor does not even register on this list. Actually, he did a pretty convincing job with some pretty awful material. Kind of like Donald Pleasance in Puma Man.
saqu in kazam
Hands down it’s gotta be Tor Johnson in anything he’s been associated with. His usual line is just a grunt or moan but he comes across stiffer than a Domino’s pizza box!
MMMMRR, TOR TRY HARD! TOR FEEL UNDER-APPRECIATED.
Why all of the Tor Johnson hate? He was never the primary problem in any of the movies he was in.
Somehow, Tor was always able to convey to the audience that his character was a hulking man-beast in the employ of shady characters. Since in real life he was a hulking man-beast in the employ people like Ed Wood and Coleman Francis, this was not a stretch. Still, the best actors are able to draw from their life-experience to embody their characters.
Also, when Tor delivered the classic line “time for go to bed,” I believed that it was, in fact, time for go to bed.
And that is not even to get into his bravura performances in “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” or “King Lear.”
Tor Johnson’s range was admittedly narrow, but he pursued it with single minded dedication. He may have only had one act, but he did it with unmatched zeal and style which took the whole genre to new heights. He’s a little like The Ramones in that regard. They only played one song, but they took that one song to places no one else could.
As for Mr. Cardoza. It must have taken a lot of energy to consistantly project such absolute abject boredom. Was he in Coleman’s movies by court order or did his Mom make him. He seems like a sullen teenager who doesn’t want to be with the family vacation, so they conspicuously sulk in a way that let’s everyone know just how bored they are for the whole trip. Or maybe he was more like an uncooperative child who goes limp when a parent tries to dress him. Was this Tony’s interpretation of disaffected rebellious James Dean-esque cool? He did show a little emotion as the frightened painter being menaced by biker art critics in one of Ross Hagen’s movies (probably Hellcats). I guess the point is that Mr. Cardoza’s performances in Coleman’s movies were aggressively (or at least passive-aggressively) lifeless and bored in a way that was memorable and almost surreal (like the Jaquine Phoenix interview). Unlike Lance Fuller who was bad and blank in a way that just makes hium forgettable to me. So hats off to Tony Cardoza for being to acting what “Manos” is to being a movie.
Though not the winner, I think Joe Don Baker deserves a mention for his role in Final Justice. Not only was this role as unlikable as Mitchel, but unlike Mitchel who had an (admittadly foul) air of authenticity, Sheriff Geronimo was unconvincing as both a policeman and especially a Native American. They may as well have put blackface on him and tried to pass him off as Martin Luther King. This has got to be the worst role by a well known actor in an MST episode.
Lastly, Ross from Catching Trouble gets a mention for being a rotten sadistic scumball that doesn’t deserve to be called human, and who didn’t even have the sense to realize that filming his atrocities for postierity might not be a much better idea than his carreer choice.
John Humphries as Mikey in Teen-age Strangler.
Sure he was an amateur, which makes the case for Lance Fuller, a supposed professional, a bit stronger, but you can not watch Humphries for a second without wanting to scream this kid can’t act. He’s just dreadful and that (for MST) is a wonderful thing.
Hands down, the guy who played, “Tooby” in “Overdrawn At The Memory Bank”. Only onscreen for a couple of minutes total, the actor chose to portray his character as a stammering, possibly retarded man.
Many people picked good actors who were in bad movies. Don’t judge the actor by the movie!
Not to debate it, but the guy who played Tooby was awesome as Nobody in the film Dead Man. I cannot explain the mannerisms of Tooby, though. Maybe he felt if he was only going to show up on screen for a little bit, he wanted to make his screen time more memorable?
^^ I seem to recall somebody taking an additude with me on the boards when I asked if Tooby was supposed to be retarded. I wasn’t trying to be funny; I just really wanted to know!
I also agree that Robert Ginty was trying to be very cool and rebelious by not emoting and slurring his words in Warrior Of The Lost World. He was trying to be like Snake Plisskin or Mad Max, but it just didn’t work. Do you know why? Because you have to SPEAK when you speak. My vote still goes for him. I don’t remember any of his lines in that episode, and I just watched it.
And I just realized that I spelled both “attitude” and “rebellious” wrong. bUt how bout that Ginty, eh?
Leslie McRae who played Jody in Girl with the golden boots who shrieked “I’m here to be a dancer!!” at the beach. Priceless! :mrgreen:
She also does the wounded turkey and toddler dance pretty good too!
Come to think of it, most of the characters in GITGB were annoying.
Harry LoveJoy (Harry Blatz) was a close second behind Leslie and Tom Pace (Buz) a close third.
While certainly not the worst actor in an MST3K film (and possibly one of the more tolerable ones), I feel an honorable mention should go to Alan Hale Jr.’s troubling turn as a good old boy slop of cop in The Giant Spider Invasion. While Robert Easton’s inbred, girdle wearing, sister chasing hick was by far a worse character/idea for a human being, watching Alan’s sheriff mug, pun and caper through his role made my inner child whimper “I need an adult…”
ShockValue – you mean an adult like Cousin Billy? Stop by his rock shop and he’ll show you his agates.
As has been noted many times by now, many categories are to be considered here. Allow me to present two. The first consists of actors that are of course horrible, but not so horrible that after viewing their performance you couldn’t make things right again by punching the surviving offenders (if any) in the head during chance encounters in Hollywood thrift stores. The later are people who seem like they did such a good job of portraying creepy waste-oids because they had little other choice, it coming so naturally. It would not be advisable to leave your children with these people.
FOR PUNCHING: Arch W. Hall Jr (Eegah), Harold Saunders (Red Zone Cuba), Bill McCutcheon (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians), David Love (Teenagers From Outer Space), all the guys under 30 in Catalina Caper and most offensively in this category, the two peeping slobs in Attack of the the Eye Creatures.
CALL THE POLICE IF YOU RUN INTO:
Tom Pace (Girl in Gold Boots), Joe Estevez (Werewolf), Michael Pataki (Sidehakers), or either of the poachers in Pod People. Thank you!
…and the next man to try and get me into his van again to see his “agates” is getting a scathing mention as well.
In the category of decent actors who put in lame performances, I can’t believe that someone hasn’t nominated Jack Palance in Outlaw!
Could he have been more obvious that he was just phoning it in to get a paycheck?
How has no one mentioned George Woodard as J.K. Robertson in Time Chasers?
I suppose I should give him credit for his scenery chewing zeal as it made the film more watchable, but I for one was happy when that plane fell on him.
Come to think of it, anyone who can take himself seriously delivering lines from the second floor of a public library deserves some credit. Maybe I’m wrong to attack him.
I change my vote to David Warner in Quest of the Delta Nights. He doubly sucked in two roles.
Robert Z’dar! (the guy with the ridiculously huge chin in Future Wars and Soultaker)