Movie: (1979) A madman takes control of a spaceship and tries to destroy a moon colony.
Host: Emily.
Opening: In the cold open, M. Waverly and Growler are reconsidering being boneheads. Meanwhile, Emily is being punked by the bots … again.
After the show open: Home-assembled furniture is causing some strife between Kinga and Max.
Invention exchange: E&tB have invented the roller coaster, which makes every party drink a thrill ride. The mads have turkey holders, which makes immediate use of.
Segment 1: E&tB hold a roast for Sparks the robot.
Segment 2: E&tB present “The Shape of Crimes to Come,” a true crime podcast. After intermission: the podcast continues.
Segment 3: E&tB contemplate love.
Close: Crow has become Crowmus of the long pauses; meanwhile, Kinga hatches a plan.
Stinger: Omus hologram.
Thoughts:
• This episode premiered on Sept. 30, 2022.
• Gotta admit that opening shot of the bots driving a transport vehicle made me want to get up in there and play with it.
• This week’s LOTR references: “Saruman’s Pez dispenser.” “Take a knee, Legolas squad.”
• Slam on Seth Rogan outta nowhere!
• Some good riffs here and there in this one, but not a lot.
• Fave riff: “We’re not getting that security deposit back.”
• Honorable mentions: “Meanwhile at Netflix…” “These Harrison Ford closeups get harder every year.” “Punt!” “Set course for up.” “I should have asked for an epidural.”
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For the first time since KTMA, a movie out of the late 70s/early 80s Canadian tax shelter era. This was typical of the stuff that came from that time – a cheap looking rip off of…something kinda recognizable. They could have done an entire season of these movies, and still probably have plenty left over.
Nicholas Campbell did go on to be a Canadian version of a “Hey! It’s that guy! From there!” based on DaVinci’s Inquest. Spotting Toronto landmarks (Ontario Place!) is another little distraction. Other than that, this was less watchable than Munchie and The Batwoman. At least I could sorta describe the plot of those on the first go through with those.
That dink hung up on us!
This was good, not great for me. I usually love cheesy 70s sci-fi but sometimes they move so slowly that they just lie there. Not even Palance could save it. Meanwhile, I got some solid laughs out of the ‘podcast’ segment (with the very Joel-like line ‘If you’re just joining us, and why would you be? It’s a podcast!’) as well as the invention exchange with Max’s gobbling that turkey. Another wonderful moment reminiscent of TV’s Frank.
Fave Riffs
How do you spell ‘global thermonuclear war’?
Blank Stares: The Motion Picture
“We found the pilot…”
Might wanna bring a sponge!
These Battlestar Galactica costumes aren’t going to sneak themselves back into the wardrobe trailer!
How to Pretend You’re Not Dying, Chapter One…
‘Prepare to disengage…’
Way ahead of you there, buddy!
Jack, we don’t have a stunt double but good news! You get to keep the cape!
For a review of this “MST3K” episode and others go to “Faith’s Take” on YouTube.com.
She reviews Rifftrax as well.
I predict that things to come will be pear-shaped, with a dimple on one side.
I saw this movie as young kid. Although my taste wasn’t that subtle, I could tell this was a silly movie. The scene where the wilderness resistance fighters in immaculately clean uniforms are supposedly training, but look like they’re screwing around with gardening tools that look like they’ve never been used, was laughable even when I was 8. Dumb film, good riffing.
To quote Village of the Giants, “Is THIS the HG Wells part??”
For those who haven’t seen the 30’s movie from when Wells–who wasn’t really a card-carrying Commie, but more the progressive leftwing Socialist-curious character from “Time After Time”–was writing screenplays, this movie, as you may guess, has
ABSOLUTELY.
POSITIVELY.
NOTHING to do with Wells’ original story.
In the original, civilization is destroyed in WWII (don’t snicker, they thought that was what would actually happen), and Ralph Richardson rises out of the rubble as new Lord-Humongous boss of post-apocalyptic London. But suddenly, a technologically advanced society, which had hidden itself away for just such an emergency, arrives to kick Richardson’s hinder, and lead England into a new Utopia. Cut to years later, as technologically advanced man is about to launch its first rocket, and more division within the ranks, but man makes the great leap forward anyway. That’s IT.
Don’t spend too much time wondering who’s “really” the secret society of peace, equality and scientific enlightenment that’s going to take us to the stars and save mankind from tyrants.
Obviously, if the Brains expected us to get Gizmoplex references about Kabal, the (dramatic look stage left) mysterious financier from the future, they clearly intended us to remember Raymond Massey from the 1936 movie.
But, like most 70’s made-for-TV remakes, qv. the Marlo Thomas “It’s a Wonderful Life”, cheap Canadian studios had to use public-domain source material for their low-rent Battlestar Galactica knockoffs.
Well, that was disappointing. I realize that not every science fiction film that tried to hitch on to the Star Wars gravy train was a high action romp with lots of pew-pew-pew. Still, it was quite plodding and was further hampered by confused worldbuilding. But the robot designs were neat, and it wasn’t quite as much of a chore to sit through as Munchie. Though I realize the latter is a pretty low bar to clear.
Favorite riffs
Is it too early for a Uranus joke?
[as a button marked Cancel is pressed]
Meanwhile at Netflix…
These Harrison Ford close-ups get tougher every year.
Yeah, I get that I am here, but where’s the Hot Topic?
We shouldn’t have made our dome out of cellophane!
“Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.”
Do not mock my pain.
Chernobyl for a prom theme. What were they thinking?
What is happening?
Whatever it is, they can’t afford to show it.
“Percentages do not favor a successful journey. Disaster through malfunction predicted.”
But you can shake me and ask again later.
“Well, we’re on our way. Out there in the vastness of space. The unknown.”
It’s only a model.
Man, the Mork from Ork auditions were a lot more competitive than I’d been led to believe.
Full Metal Jack and the Beanstalk.
Oh no, someone fed Daft Punk after midnight.
First floor, housewares, linens, killer robots.
Camp Crystal Lake. This is going to be a fun summer.
Kristin Wiig is Cheryl Ladd as Linsay Wagner in The Bionic Woman.
The Libyans shot me, Marty!
That’s sweet. Would you guys ever escort me into a dangerous unknown situation?
I’d walk with you so I could better criticize your choices.
I’d let you walk in front of me so you could shield me from the worst of the shrapnel.
Jim Henson’s Sniper Babies.
Is that a map to dry land?
I’ve had to Truffle Shuffle just to survive.
“They tried to understand the nature of the universe.”
Turns out it’s 42.
The ship canna take much more of this, cap’n. She’s… oh, never mind.
He looks so menacing in mustard.
“And you, Dr. Caball…”
Can believe it, or not.
Susan Anton, David Soul, and Cathy Lee Crosby in Weekend at Bernie’s 6: The Legend of Curly’s Gold.
“But that isn’t what killed him. It was Omus.”
Oh man, I thought it was Professor Plum in the kitchen with the candlestick! I’m so bad at this game.
This is why you don’t build your fortress on a coffee cake.
The Caddyshack gopher is at it again.
I’ll miss you most of all, Miss Theresa.
The 1936 version of Things to Come looks significantly superior to this Canadian Tuxedo version of Things to Come
This movie hits that sweet spot of love/hate for me. Nothing makes any sense if you think about it for even a second, but it’s done so earnestly that it’s fascinating. Add riffing to it, and it all works out wonderfully. I love Emily derailing the roast sketch because she wanted to show off her drama skills. Also her straight face delivery about the roller coaster not spilling a drop (when the glass is clearly mostly empty) was a delight.
Yeah, this movie couldn’t have less in common with its’ alleged source material if it tried.
Cold Opening/Robot Condiment Taste Testing: The bit itself was unremarkable but I couldn’t help but notice that Emily is somehow combining the fatherly style of classic Joel (including the way he handles the props on behalf of the Bots) with the gullible facets of Mike getting outsmarted by the Bots. These are two things that really shouldn’t go together yet she somehow does it.
Invention Exchange
Emily and the Bots/The Roller Coaster: It’s silly. It’s senseless. I love it. This one had to come from the mind of Joel. They sell it well while the coaster is off screen. Then it returns losing ¾ of its contains yet Emily proclaims it didn’t lose a drop.
The Mads/Corn Cob Turkey Holders: This really is a good idea. Certain parts of the turkey are slimy yet someone it is generally considered finger food. I’ll buy a set please. By the way this one also screams Joel. I say this so many times but here again Max channels Frank and I always love that.
Host Segment 1/Roast of Sparks: Well that captured the generally unfunny nature of the typical unfunny roast. Then it takes the dark turn in turning the event inappropriate when it is learned the roasting a terminal robot. Interesting but overall ho-hum.
Host Segment 2/Bad Podcasts: Yes anyone can have one and that now includes Emily and the Bots. They hit a few most prominently being the horrible true crime podcasts. Seriously: don’t people have better things to do with their listening time?
Host Segment 3/Love: This one seems to have little to do with the movie. There is however some commentary here even if a little bitter. The line of the sketch: Dumb us down with love.
Closing Segment: That was a great costume on Crow but Tom summed it up: “This is going to take a while.” In fact I typed this entire review during this sketch.
The Movie: I’m not sure what I expected from this. It had the HG Wells so I guess I did expect a watchable movie. In retrospect I shouldn’t have. We’ve had episodes before based on a Wells idea and they were good. It had Palance so I expected a lot of good riffs teed up. I didn’t get that either. As for the Shape of Things to Come story: I’ve never read it. It had to be better than this adaptation. I found it as boring as continued rock climbing or sandstorms. I also found it almost as incomprehensible as Humanoid Woman. I really don’t have a clue what happened here. I don’t think the writers did either. Why else would Kinga say “To conquer the universe we just need to do what the bad guys did in the movie but not mess it up” and yet she didn’t actually say what that was. But all in all, I continue to really enjoy the chemistry of Emily and here set of Bots.
Favorite Riffs:
Some robot is on screen. Emily “Whoa. That Speak ‘N Spell got jacked.”
Tom during a moon establishing shot “Is it too early for a Uranus joke?” Crow “Never!” [How true.]
Emily commenting a surface flyover establishing shot where a pock-marked/crater area gives way to a smooth sand area: “Oh look. Moon pattern baldness”
Crow “Do not take Lomax if you are allergic to Lomax”
Omus “Beginning immediately.” Tom “After this..pause.”
Tom “The crown roast of doom. It’s making me do the pee-pee dance.”
Dr. Caball is being tortured. Emily “I do the same thing when I can’t get Baby Shark out of my head either.”
Omus actives the murder crown roast. Crow “This murder goes to 11.” Emily “Oh! We have party sign.”
The deposed world leader named Nikki who looked more like a cheerleader than anything else was quite funny, along with her gang of freedom fighters who couldn’t even fake fight, but had mastered the art of dry cleaning were a hoot.
It did feel like one of those old Bill Corbett sketches where he thinks he’s hit on comic brilliance, but you don’t know if the “O-KAY, Bill, we already got it five minutes ago!” jokes from the other two are real or meta.
Emily’s fanbase was very happy to see her in that dress in Segment 1. (Also, um, Kelsey is an incredibly attractive woman.)
The bots freaking out over Sparks’, uh, sparks, was great, something else that had been missing. Conor has really been killing it as Servo this season.
“If you’re just joining us, which would be weird, because this is a podcast…” was very funny.
GPC2 spends the entire 3rd theater segment in the theater! Yvonne did a great job with her even if they haven’t quite worked out what Mega-Synthia is supposed to be.
*cancel button is pressed* “Meanwhile, at Netflix.”