Next weekend at Dragon*Con, Bill and Trace will take part in a panel that I guarantee will take place in too small a room: “Crow vs. Crow,” in which the two actors that portrayed Crow Tiberious (“the”) Robot will discuss the character they played. In preparation for that, Trace recently tweeted a request for suggestions of the most memorable Crow moments (so they can put together a video featuring them). I was going to tweet back with a link to the Weekend Discussion Thread that SURELY (don’t call me Shirley!) we must have done! Then I checked and realized we hadn’t done one!
So, to help them out, let’s settle on the best Crow moments. You get to choose TWO and TWO ONLY moments from the Trace years and two from the Bill years.
Me: For the Trace years I’d go with the “I don’t get you” bit from “Monster-A-Go-Go” and “Am I qualified?” from “King Dinosaur.” From the Bill years: “Turkey Volume Guessing Man” from “Riding with Death” and “Mike becomes a werecrow” from “Werewolf.”
What are your picks?
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Two Bill Crow moments that come to mind: Crow’s report on Malta that turns into a rant against Maltese men, and Crow as Droppy the water droplet. Crow doing any kind of presentation is good stuff.
“Did you know that there are literally tens of thousands of uses for water? Here are just a few thousand!”
Now, two hopefully unique Bill moments:
From 1010, Crow wants to be Mary Tyler Moore, but Mike and Tom won’t let him. I love his take to camera when they call him “Crow,” and his angry paraphrase of the theme song (“I can turn the world on with my stinkin’ smile!”).
From 1012, Crow summons Mikey, the Mike Sprite. I like the his delivery on, “Hoo, Mike. I hope I never see Mike again as long as I live,” and on taking back his wish. (Also his absorption in the comic book.)
The “Screaming Skull” prank is a personal favorite, as is “Why don’t they look?”.
I think it was from either The Day the Earth Froze or Jack Frost…
“Duck’s off, sorry.”
Anytime Crow does Basil Fawlty it sends me into fits.
Also… this was Crow, from Pod People, right?
“Well, come on… breakfast is getting cold and she’s not getting any warmer.”
This is from my wife (she gets a vote too): The sketch from Devil Doll where Crow is buying from Pitch. And Crow’s reactions to Mike’s manly beach dance from Horror at Party Beach. This is because of the way Crow looks at anything but Mike below the neck during the dance.
From me, nobody has mentioned the Ode to Estelle from Then Magic Sword.
Best epic moment:
Crow shoots his film, but it’s just 1 second clips. In the end, its enough to make a trailer.
Also, crow’s presentation on women in Hobgoblins, just perfect
Way too many to list.
For Trace…I gotta go with Crow directing “Earth vs. Soup” in The “Incredible Melting Man,” and his ruining of “Mystery Murder Dinner Theater” in “Bloodlust.”
For Bill…I gotta go with Sampo’s pick of the “werecrow” segment from “Werewolf,” and Crow’s skull disguise freaking out Mike in “The Screaming Skull.”
Trace:
1) opening segment of Santa Claus 521
2) The Llama in Amazing Transparent Man 623
Bill:
1) Courtroom video in Agent for H.A.R.M. 815
2) Dancing girl in Girl with Gold Boots 1002
Oh wow, no mention of Trace Crow launching himself out the satellite airlock to go on a life-long quest in The Magic Voyage of Sinbad? “Well, it’s…it’s not going real well. Thrusters are out of control, it’s real cold, and right now it seems as though my doom is imminent. (pause) So, how are you?”
For the Bill Crow: Crow’s “interludes” while Mike sings in the rain in The Girl in Gold Boots. “Mike…oh, um, I’ll wait,” as the smoke surrounds him.
Crow as Gregory Peck. “10-4 on the killer Peck.”
Man, I honestly don’t know if I can narrow them down…
Let’s see… Trace’s moments…
1. Patrick Swayze Christmas – One of my favorite moments in MST3k, period.
2. Crow gets a techno-weave in Deathstalker. “Looking’s for free. The rest’ll cost ya.”
Bill’s moments…
1. Turkey-Volume Guessing Man
2. Crow’s voice over in Blood Waters of Dr. Z – The way he just replies with “Sargasm!” cracks me up, every time.
Rutherford B Hayes
Go-Go Dancing Crow
Mummified and placed next to Stalin
Trace: The Van Patten Project from Master Ninja & Crow Leno from The Painted Hills
Bill: The Skull from The Screaming Skull & The Resignation at the end of Puma Man
Man, so much to choose from.
TRACE
1. Crow’s escape plan from The Movie.
2. Patrick Swayze Christmas
BILL
1. Turkey Volume Guessing Man, of course.
2. Tickle Me Dr. Carlo Lombardi doll
UMM The two things that come to mind are when he set the SOL on fire with a magnifying glass and the “refueling” sequence from the starfighters…those never fail to just crack me up!
It wasn’t Amnesia i had! it was Ambrosia!!
and the Double Jock Lock
Trace where dress up Wafflef outfit and takes about waffels in “Vicking women”
His escape down Umbimus and meet Dr f(himself) which funny and SO many levels.
Bill Space
Dancing girl in Girl with Gold Boots
and The Bellarian sketch. “Hi, Mike. I’m a Bellarian.”
Just two??!!!
Argghhh.
Too many to think of, but for Trace, ones that haven’t been mentioned yet:
Crow’s “Miss Saigon syndrome” rant from Castle of Fu Manchu about Caucasian actors in Asian roles, and – Patrick Swayze Christmas and “I want to decide who lives and who dies” were mentioned from SCCM, but how about his Christmas essay to the elves? :mrgreen:
For Bill, I don’t remember as many because I don’t have as many episodes from these years still on tape, but his nose job thing was funny. And I’ll go with what was already mentioned: His time travel in Time Chasers.
Also – #9 Mr. B(ob): It was Trace’s Crow that screamed comically in Danger: Death Ray, not Bill’s. :wink:
Many great posts to be seconded, but in the spirit of generating more smiles:
Trace: Crow as a sardonic turkey in advertisements for the (Season 3?) Turkey Day Marathon.
Crow:”Did you know turkeys contain enough tryptiphane (sp?) to knock you on your sorry Thanksgiving ass?”
Servo: (off-camera) “Crow!”
I forget the movie, Joel era: Opening host segment: Joel wants them to take a nice picture “if it kills them!” Crows web is slicked back.
Bill: “But I’ve got a mantis in my pantis!”
A general comment about Trace as Crow, which has been noted in previous posts:
There is something indescribably delightful about Trace voicing Crow doing impersonations of actors, (Elam, Peck, Graves) while filtering it through Crow’s voice and persona.
Trace: *Crow’s exchange with Gypsy in Monster-a-Go-Go; his revealing little remarks, like panicking while making sandwiches & not always knowing what he means (and of course, his “Is it a smell?”) are just superb.
*As Sir Giggles von Laughsalot, also from Monster-a-Go-Go. I love that the jester’s stick looks just like Crow, and it ends up whispering to him (and giving Gypsy the once-over). Plus there’s the moment when he cracks Joel up…a real treat.
Bill: *Prince of Space, when the SOL members find themselves in a sylvan glade; Crow’s casual acceptance of the situation, and the matter-of-fact way he turns down Servo’s “Fishing?” are truly fun.
*Crow’s offstage reenactment of the monologue from Blood Waters of Dr Z; the “Heh heh heh,” he gives is spot-on.
Trace:
Hoe down Crow from Bloodlust.
Crow’s Mother
Bill:
Werecrow
Crow dressed as The Great Vorelli from Devil Doll.
TRACE:
mr. b natural, war on the colossal beast: the debate over Mr. B’s gender. “brests”
mst3k the movie: this island earth: when crow is digging a tunnel back to earth and digs through the hull of the ship. “mike can you hand me my plans?, yup breach hull, all die! even had it underlined.”
BILL:
hobgoblins: crows documentary on women, do they exsist? “after an intense stakeout all we found was this fellow (pictue of mike eating a sandwhich) who experts beleive is NOT a woman”
the blood waters of dr. z: “ahh my friend the sqeegee… I love you!”
it’s so hard to chose, alot of Bill comes to mind, the scetches were more focused in later seasons, it feels like more time was spent either rehersing them or writting them.
“Servo! the guy to change the rugs is here!”
I’m amazed no one’s mentioned the “Killer Peck” skit in #401 “Space Travellers” – because, well Trace does a “Killer Gregory Peck”
(not bad as David Jansen either)
One moment stands out for me above all, and others have already mentioned it:
“I did it!”
It’s all in the delivery.
Trace:
1. Anything with Crow holding a sandwich (i.e. “Is it 11:30 yet?” and helping on the wall of keyboards in Pod People.) I have no idea why, but that little touch always made things funnier.
2. I forget the episode, but Crow stealing Tom’s speech notes – especially when he pops into frame “Looking for these?”
Bill:
1. The Projected Man – Crow’s “touch of death (and life)”
2. Werewolf – Crow casts his werewolf movie.
Sorry gotta throw in a few honorable mentions :smile:
Trace:
Guitarist of a Journey song 705
Bill:
I’m an imp! 806
I’m surprised no one mentioned Crow doing Orville Reddenbacher in 212 Godzilla vs Megalon.
Trace: I second the 10-4 on the killer peck and Peter Graves playlet in Beginning of the End.
Bill: Crow is a space child!
And going with the thoery that time travel is possible because of someone going back really being in one of an infinite number of possible worlds, exactly what did a universe with Crow messing around in a 20th Century Minnesota cheese coop do? Perhaps they could have gotten rich forming a Rap music trio with Mike’s evil brother. And then hiring a Dr. Forester to bring good and kindness to the world via exchanging invention ideas with….. :shock:
Oh, and they could endow the Peter Graves chair of acting and cable television narration at the University of Minnesota.
Trace: “Ehhhh, I’m Jack Elam….”
Bill: “Ahhh, my friend the squeegee…. I love you….”
TRACE:
1. On hold with technical support from “The Starfighters” (“One…two…three…pick up!“)
2. “Is it 11:30 yet?” from “The Beast of Yucca Flats” (“Mm. When will it be 11:30 again, Mike?”)
BILL:
1. The Spix’s Macaw bit from “Gorgo” (“What?…Oh, right, the- the nest…”)
2. The documentary on women from “Hobgoblins” (“Okay, so one woman exists! Does that mean all women exist?”)
I can’t believe no one else has mentioned Sarah the bobbin’ buzzard from Operation Double 007. Especially the song! :smile:
I second the escape attempt from The Movie.
Still trying to remember/find the episode where Joel tries to take away “Crow’s Mother” and Crow screams/yells “Mommy! Mommy!”.
Still working on choices for Bill –
Laugh EVERY TIME at this: Crow as Jerry Garcia. The wig, and the way he shakes about while playing. I’m only sorry it’s something that is only visual because Trace is so dang good at Crow.
For a good voice bit for Trace Crow: in Being from Another Planet, we sometimes see the POV of the eponymous Being; Crow and Tom proceed to freak out. Crow’s “But it’s SCARY-y-y-y!” kills me every time.
For Bill, I love it when he overreacts and jumps about. Example: Overdrawn at the memory Bank. Raul just says he should try Alpha Numerics. Crow: “YEAH!! Let’s do THAT!! YEAH!!” The jumping about makes it for me.
Finally, the Ernest Borgnine Books for Children. “AUUGH! They’re eating his liver! AAUUUGGHWWHH!”
Good times.
These have already been mention, but I’d like to add my vote to them
Trace
Crow as Jack Elam. I was glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I first saw that or else I would have done a bigtime spit take.
Crow on fire from the Death Ray. I especially love it from the Poopie tape.
Bill
DEBBIE!!!!!!!! I broke a window for you Debbie! from Devil Doll
Crow’s video deposition from Mike’s trail. They may not be anything funnier than watching a puppet curse so much as to make a sailor blush.
Since the Table Dance has been mentioned, one of my other faves from Bill/Crow has always been “Hooker-wear from J C Penney….” which I duly check each Sunday supplement.
I’m always highly amused when one of the robots has a complete meltdown. There’s something hilarious about a robot having a nervous breakdown. It seems to me like Servo has the most frequent in-theater meltdowns, while Crow has the best host-segment meltdowns. Thus, I will nominate similar moments for my two favorites.
Trace: The Killer Shrews. When Crow is marketing his Killer Shrews board game. “You see the pieces don’t move; in fact, NOBODY MOVES…FOR OVER 45 MINUTES!!!”
Bill: The Space Children. I will lend further support for the Jackie Coogan fashion show. “…with frilly peek-a-boo panty!”
Bill’s Crow is also great at delivering absurd lines in a matter-of-fact tone. “Well Mike, you led us to believe you were rabid and seconds away from turning into a horrible man-bat.”
I agree with everyone who said Crow as Jack Elam, that was the biggest laugh I’ve ever had during a host segment.
Trace: “Ah, would you like some…soup?” Runner up: Crow explains the differences between the two Lois Lanes and ends up looking like a complete idiot.
Bill: Turkey Volume Guessing Man! Runner up: Crow T. Robot’s Bram Stoker’s The Civil War.
So mant great bits. A lot of my favorites have already been said, but here are the ones that came to mind first:
Trace:
1. Crow giving Joel a haircut (KTMA version is my favorite)
2. All the Turkey facts from the 1991 Thanksgiving marathon
Bill:
1. The Civil War documentary, especially the soldier’s letter
2. “Mike, have you seen my other sweater?” from Diabolik
Trace:
A favorite of mine that hasn’t been mentioned yet is at the end of Pod People, when Joel just starts disassembling him in the process of putting away the props. Despite not saying much, Trace somehow conveyed the perfect balance of confusion, annoyance, and detachment for such a subtly inexplicable element of a sketch, just glancing into the box for a few seconds before moving on to the song.
Bill:
His conversation with himself in ’80s Wisconsin in Time chasers. Crow interacted with other chacters portrayed by the same performer quite a few times, whereas the only example I can remember for Servo is his conversation with Bobo at the end of the first Summer Blockbuster Review.
Having the SOL crew join him in his new Christmas carol, “A Patrick Swayze Christmas”, is my all-time favorite.
Others:
“Turkey volume guessing man!”
As Jack Elam in “The Girl in Lover’s Lane”.
“Dull Surprise!”
“Bobbin’ Buzzard (Caw-caw-caw)..by Crow!”
“Let me on the information superhighway, you stupid little….”
And of course his spec scripts, “Earth vs Soup” and “Peter Graves at the University of Minnesota”.
Playing as Jerry Garcia.
The screaming skull bit where Mike pounds him with a golf club.
Pretending to be a drunk college student and screaming “Debbbiiieeee!”
And so many more, but those are the ones that stand out for me off the top of my head anyway.
Trace:
1. The Film Anti-Preservation Society (Yucca Flats)
2. “Is it that I often panic while making sandwiches?” (Monster A-Go Go)
Bill:
1. “Apparently I’m a Solarite. The scary thing is, I have no memory of making this costume. And it’s a GOOD costume…” (Phantom Planet)
2. Crow’s expletive-filled deposition, something I don’t think Trace’s Crow could’ve pulled off nearly as well. (Geez… What experiment was that?)
Trace – explaining the “Van Pattenn” conspiracy in Master Ninja.
Bill – the women fact or fiction documentary in Hobgoblins.
Trace:
1: Am I qualified?
2: MST3k the Movie: It’s a long way… to Tipperary…
Bill:
1: Turkey Volume Guessing Man!
2: Love Deprivation experiment: I love Bill’s delivery of the word “love”.
Definitely the host segments during “Devil Doll.” I love how Bill’s Crow could get decidedly twisted, and his gradual progression from bargain hunter to practitioner of the dark arts in under 90 minutes was hilarious.
Wow, there are a LOT, but here goes
Trace:
1. Crow T. Robot’s Line of Manly Sunglasses for men from “Danger!! Death Ray”
2. “Art” reads to Pearl from a dirty book from “Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell”
Bill:
1. Crow serves a meaty dish…and revenge in the final host segment of “Deadly Mantis”. “How’s that alien we hit.” “He’s Juicy. Did I say juicy? I meant he’s well glazed with a piqant(sp?) aftertaste. I mean he’s good!…ISN’T he?”
2. Gotta go with the satire of “Blood Waters of Dr. Z”‘s monologue. “Sarcasm! The weed of deceit!”
Another suggestion: Bill’s Crow had a habit of snapping and thinking he was a character from the movie, maybe a montage of those moments. Off the top of my head he’s a bear (Jack Frost), Vorelli (Devil Doll), a Bellarian (Space Mutiny), a Solarite (Phantom Planet), a girl in gold boots (The Girl in Gold Boots), and Crenshaw (Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues). I may have missed some, but those are the ones I could think of, if you wanted to go with a theme like that…and you could also do a spec script theme with Trace’s Crow (Earth vs. Soup, his scifi screenplay from “Manhunt in Space”, the Spy Who Hugged Me, and, of course, Peter Graves at the University of Minnesota). That would be neat, eh?
“Am I Qualified” is my favorite Trace moment.
The “Art” running gag are my favorite Bill moments.