Books by Sampo!

 

 

Support Us

Satellite News is not financially supported by Best Brains or any other entity. It is a labor of love, paid for out of our own pockets. If you value this site, we would be delighted if you showed it by making an occasional donation of any amount. Thanks.

Sampo & Erhardt

Sci-Fi Archives


Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Social Media


Weekend Discussion Thread: Most Memorable Crow Moments

I can’t believe we haven’t done this one!

Next weekend at Dragon*Con, Bill and Trace will take part in a panel that I guarantee will take place in too small a room: “Crow vs. Crow,” in which the two actors that portrayed Crow Tiberious (“the”) Robot will discuss the character they played. In preparation for that, Trace recently tweeted a request for suggestions of the most memorable Crow moments (so they can put together a video featuring them). I was going to tweet back with a link to the Weekend Discussion Thread that SURELY (don’t call me Shirley!) we must have done! Then I checked and realized we hadn’t done one!

So, to help them out, let’s settle on the best Crow moments. You get to choose TWO and TWO ONLY moments from the Trace years and two from the Bill years.

Me: For the Trace years I’d go with the “I don’t get you” bit from “Monster-A-Go-Go” and “Am I qualified?” from “King Dinosaur.” From the Bill years: “Turkey Volume Guessing Man” from “Riding with Death” and “Mike becomes a werecrow” from “Werewolf.”

What are your picks?

163 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Most Memorable Crow Moments”

Commenting at Satellite News

We are determined to encourage thoughtful discussion, so please be respectful to others. We also provide an "Ignore" button () to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our Commenting Guidelines page for more details, including how to report offensive and spam commenting.

  1. Mike K. says:

    My two favorites:

    From Timechasers
    Crow: This… is not our star, is it? I will not accept this as our star, sorry.

    From Final Justice
    The whole Malta bit on the SOL.

    -Mike K.

       0 likes

  2. elservo says:

    Trace: Crow messing up Servo’s heartfelt rendition of Tibby, My Tibby.

    Crow’s unsuccessful attempt to merge gracefully onto the Information Superhighway.

    Bill: Bill’s first appearance as Crow shows that Crow did little more than read magazines for 525 years on the S.O.L. while the others had countless adventures at the far reaches of space.

    Also, the Mexican kid’s show. AGUA!

       0 likes

  3. Invasion of the Neptune Man says:

    I’m posting my picks before I read everyone else’s. I had a hard time with this. Crow is my favorite in the theater but Tom is for skits. I tried to stick to Crow instead of Bots or ensemble pieces.
    Trace
    1. Crow reads from the history of Hercules. “Then Hymeus flunked locksmith school” “history is more fun when you make it up yourself” Hercules and the Captive Woman
    2. Crow does his killer Peck. Space Travelers
    Bill
    1.Crow sells his soul to Stan. “It’s gonna take forever to get my soul back” The Touch of Satan
    2.Crow quits. “Hey, I’ve been freelancing” Puma Man

       0 likes

  4. shtemlogal says:

    Trace: Asking Servo the Planetarium, “Is it true that Uranus is…big and gassy?” His delivery and then his wild giggles slay me.

    Bill: “Eating” sunflower seeds in the breakroom of the 80s cheese factory, then spitting the shells out—priceless.

    Thank you, Trace and Bill, for the thousands of laughs and happy memories! :grin:

       0 likes

  5. Eric Sandstrom says:

    Trace:
    Crow howling in pain after getting burnt in Santa Clause.
    Crow’s contact lenses in “Death Ray.”
    Crow the mean babysitter, in Brute Man.
    Crow’s hair piece in “Deathstalker.”

       0 likes

  6. Chris says:

    so many funny trace era moments, from “breach hull, all die” to crow’s father figure in I Accuse My Parents, to “geez what a dickweed” from the movie. my 2 favorites tho r “i wanna decide who lives and who dies” and a patrick swazye christmas.

    i havent seen too many bill eps but my fav crow moment from that era is probably crow’s hotline he set up on the hobgoblins ep

       0 likes

  7. sharktopus says:

    #99’s suggestion of a montage of Crow believing he’s a character from the movie would be perfect for Bill’s highlights, culminating in his self-psychoanalysis in Phantom Planet.

    Honorable mention: Crow’s hallucinogenic freak out over Mike’s candy bar in Future War.

       0 likes

  8. MiqelDotCom says:

    Great topic! It’s SOOO impossible to limit it to just two for each Crow …

    Trace:
    Screenplays, “Earth vs. Soup” & “Peter Graves at the University of Minnesota”
    Crow’s desperate attempts to merge onto the information superhighway (especially while on-hold for tech-support, haven’t we all used those same coping mechanisms?)
    and
    The quivering sound in his voice and brilliant puppetry when Crow gets contact lenses … priceless!
    + Crow’s new hair and active lifestyle
    + dozens of others equally as funny

    Bill:
    All scenes of Crow meeting Crow in the past in “Time Chasers”
    The Classic “Turkey Volume Guessing Man”
    + “Droppy the water droplet”
    + dozens of other great moments

    Honorable mention:
    The Dog & Bear game getting too rough

       0 likes

  9. Some of the Crow T. Robot bits I liked (and there were plenty to choose from):

    #317 Viking Women and the Sea Serpent — Willy the Waffle “NO waffles (whistle)” (reprised in #423 Bride of the Monster “NO advertising (whistle)”)
    #421 Monster A Go-Go — Crow’s crooning “Hum didda he-he, hooah hooah”
    #506 Eegah! — Crow shatters at absolute zero
    #609 The Skydivers — Double-jock lock
    #814 Riding with Death — Turkey Volume Guessing Man
    #1005 Blood Waters of Dr. Z — The evil voice-over, mocking Dr. Z “ATTACK!”

       0 likes

  10. More of my favorite Crow bits:
    #324 Master Ninja II — General Timothy van Patten
    #609 The Skydivers — “Uranus” jokes
    #624 Samson vs. the Vampire Women — Crow sees a strange visitor while Mike and Tom play Stratego. Crow: “Something’s going to happen, Mike – something wonderful.”

       0 likes

  11. And yet another fave:
    #822 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank — “You know you want me, baby!”

       0 likes

  12. J.K. Robertson says:

    Trace:
    – Crow creating Bobbin’ Buzzard
    – Patrick Swayze Christmas

    Bill:
    – The Civil War Documentary
    – The “Women” Documentary

       0 likes

  13. jim hardcheese says:

    no one mentioned it

    the funniest line in all Mistdom

    Track of the Moon Beast –

    I’m boring and my slide show eats

       0 likes

  14. Too Thin to Hear says:

    Dog and Bear

    Crows hairpiece

       0 likes

  15. monoceros4 says:

    All of my favorite moments have been mentioned already, I’ll be bound, but I’ll still name a few.

    Trace years:

    1. The “Miss Saigon Syndrome” monologue from The Castle of Fu-Manchu from “Crow T. Robot, carrier of the gleaming sword of truth,” and his subsequent breakdown. “But it hurts too muuuuch…

    2. FAPS.

    Crow’s Jerry Garcia solo from an otherwise wretched episode, The Dead Talk Back, is hilarious but I’m not sure it quite counts as a Crow moment, because the important bit was performed by someone else. On the other hand, Crow’s refusal to stop, even pushing himself in front of the camera after movie sign, is pure Crow.

    Bill years:

    1. Crow’s contribution to the hysterically funny rant about the ’80s and Mike’s pathetic Saturday night. Servo contributes of course but it’s Crow who really twists the knife in. “So you wrestle for your keys with the guy and finally he drops you with one punch and then he leaves, and you lie there knowing you got your butt kicked by the leader of the high school band! You and your eighties…it would have continued to be the seventies if not for you!” “It’s go time, eighties man!” It shows, too, that Bill Corbett’s Crow had a meaner streak. Not that that’s bad.

    2. My memory’s not so good here but I’m pretty sure it’s Crow who does most if not all of Troy’s simpering for The Final Sacrifice. “Rowthdower…*snore*…Rowthdower…” Mike might do some. I don’t think Servo does because his voice is deeper. Also, Crow contributes, “We will, we will, Rowsdower!

       0 likes

  16. Murder Most Moist says:

    Trace:

    1) Killer Peck from #401
    2) Crow does entire Match Game from #502

    – honorable mention: #503
    Opening host segment with Crow as Spock –
    “I’m not going back Jim! hahaha hahaha”

    Bill:

    1) Crow with coffee jitters in #810

    2) “You know you want me, baby!” in #822

    – honorable mention:
    “I’m an Imp!” in #806

       0 likes

  17. Zap Rowsdower says:

    TRace:
    Deathstalker, when our hero says “I keep running into princess”…Crow yelps, “O man this is a sequal to something”
    San Fran. International…Crow Yells “RUSH albums”

    Bill:
    scene from Squirm, where there’s a closeup of ome of the characters: Crow quirks “If Alvin the Chipmunk and Steve Young had a baby”
    Hobgoblins….kid listing to headphones playing air drums “the true story of Neal Peart”
    Final Sacrifice…all the Rowsdower jokes, and when they come to Mike Pipper’s house, when Crow says “the birth place of Geddy Lee”

    ……i like Rush

       0 likes

  18. Clydeosis says:

    My favorite Crow moment is when he “becomes” a Bellarian, has a psychological breakthrough by realizing why he does it, and then promply forgets all about it. Classic and hilarious.

       0 likes

  19. Trace: “Well, look at that! ‘Breach hull, all die’ — I even had it underlined!” & Timmy…

    Bill: Visiting Mike back in time & Werecrow

       0 likes

  20. bearshark says:

    “I want to decide who lives and who dies.”

    No question.

       0 likes

  21. Evan Faulkner says:

    Crow’s expletive rant at Mike’s trial in “Agent For H.A.R.M.”
    HANDS DOWN the most memorable and funny moment.

       0 likes

  22. pumafan says:

    Enduring Crowtimes

    Crow’s new nose at the end of Clonus …
    His wire mommy …
    Gloating about visiting Pearl before Time Chasers …
    Dog and Bear …
    Warning Mike to watch out for Roger Whittaker!

    Trace or Bill, the golden spider duck rules!

       0 likes

  23. steve says:

    I like Crow as Jack Elam.

       0 likes

  24. Titanius Anglesmith, Fancy Man of Cornwood says:

    The two bits that best personify Crow:

    1) “I want to decide who lives and who dies,” Santa Claus Conquors the Martians.

    2) Crow responding to Tom Servo’s scathing condemnation of his blatant cheating on his essay in “The Wild Wild World of Batwoman” with a glib “So why can’t I come?”

    Let’s just be honest, the percentage of MSTies who like Servo better than Crow has to be maybe 15 percent at most. Granted I’m basing that on gut feeling, not scientific data, but I’ll stick to it.

       0 likes

  25. Halomek says:

    As others have said, it’s hard to pick just two each…

    Trace moments:

    Crow as Jerry Garcia. So true and so funny. Thanks to Trace’s brilliant puppeteering, it really seemed like Crow was in the groove, which couldn’t have been easy to pull off.

    I’d have to say my other favorite Trace as Crow moment comes from the movie when Crow tries to tunnel out of the SoL. It just sums up Crow perfectly for me: “Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid… and I went ahead anyway.”

    Honorable mention: Crow as Orville Redenbacher. Cracks me up every time. “I’m the god! I’m the god!”

    Bill moments:

    Easily the top moment on my list for Bill would be Crow’s @&*$! deposition. Priceless.

    The other would be Crow as the Great Vorelli. His delivery just sells it. “Not only can’t you have ham, you can’t have any luncheon meats. Not bologna, or thuringer, not even cotto salami. Why? Because luncheon meats make the sawdust in your stomach explode.”

    Honorable mention: Crow as a Solarite, realizing he has a problem.

       0 likes

  26. casterberus says:

    Already mentioned, but I’ll throw in more votes for:

    1) Crow melts himself into a gold ingot during “The Painted Hills.” “In fact, ~I~ want me. I’M MINE, ALL MINE!!!!!”

    2) Crow’s epic Jerry Garcia-esque guitar solo during “The Dead Talk Back.” Rock on, Crow!

    Runners-up:

    3) Crow’s killer Peck.

    4) Crow’s killer Jack Elam.

       0 likes

  27. Truck Farmer says:

    One more I just remembered that I have to mention, evil Crow attacking evil Mike in Last of the Wild Horses. Mike is on screen and then you hear a Star Trek fight theme with Crow DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!! as he jumps evil Mike. Every time I watch this episode, I repeatedly watch this scene.

       0 likes

  28. Daveo says:

    Don’t remember the episodes,but:
    When he sold his soul to”Stan”
    and
    When he was in the shop and they had the old beat-up”loaner” Crow.

       0 likes

  29. Mike C says:

    I can only think of one, which is Crow trying to get his modem working so that he can get online.

       0 likes

  30. Trashman says:

    1) Each and every time he does his squeaky Kathy Ireland voice in “Alien From L.A.”

    2) Bursting into flames after getting blasted by Servo’s death ray.

       0 likes

  31. R.A.T. Army says:

    I LOVE CROW! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: …that’s it.

       0 likes

  32. monoceros4 says:

    Let’s just be honest, the percentage of MSTies who like Servo better than Crow has to be maybe 15 percent at most. Granted I’m basing that on gut feeling, not scientific data, but I’ll stick to it.

    I sort of prefer Tom Servo although it’s hard to play favorites. I like Servo’s intellectual posturing, like he’s the smartest guy in the room. Mind you, I like it even more when Servo is trying his hardest to be philosophical and sensitive, only to have Crow deflate his pose. “Looking for page two? Yoo-hoo!”

       0 likes

  33. zacklies says:

    Crow’s shriek when Mike tries to take away his ‘mom’ from Invasion USA

       0 likes

  34. MoxieHart says:

    I love when Crow visits Mike and Pearl in the Widowmaker and then rubs Servo’s nose in the fact that he got to visit Pearl and she gave him popcorn and candy, said she liked him the best, let him try on her clothes, and promised to take him to France. Art and Pearl actually had some awesome chemistry.
    I have to go with “I want to choose who lives and dies” from Trace-era Crow. That’s my golden spider-duck. ^.^

       0 likes

  35. thecowandi says:

    DEBBIEEEEEEEEE! from devil doll.

       0 likes

  36. Toblerowned says:

    Crow’s panicked shrieks as a llama in the Matches for Mikey skit in The Amazing Transparent man never fails to send me into convulsive laughter :grin:

       0 likes

  37. McFarland says:

    One of my favorite comments came in “the horrors of spider island” when Gary was kissing one of the girls and is caught by his secretary. He says “damn heat, I don’t know what I am doing!” To which crow says “sure I was unfaithful but is was like 87 degrees out”.
    Now my wife doesn’t trust me any time it’s over 87 degrees!

       0 likes

  38. norgavue says:

    bill – turkey volume guessing and the whole time travel thing
    trace – patrick swayze christmas and gypsy not getting him.

       0 likes

  39. RPG says:

    I’m surpried no one has mentioned Bill’s particularly strong “STAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!”.

    Plus there’s Trace as Crow, yelling at the annoying Monster a-go go score, if you could call it that.

       0 likes

  40. Roman Martel says:

    Wow, just two for each performer? Ok, these are my favorites…

    Trace –

    The Movie: Crow’s escape attempt, especially with the “Breach Hull, all die. Even had it underlined.”

    Starfighters: Crow on hold with tech support is classic, a great bit of performance that just sells the whole thing.

    *Special Mention*
    I Accuse My Parents: Crow describing his ideal dad.

    Bill –

    Hobgoblins: The whole documentary on women. Great voice over and the especially funny when he appears as the unkown man with the mustache.

    Various episodes: I agree that a montage of Crow in all of his incarnations (Bear, Bellarian, Solarite) would be classic. If I had to pick one, I would go with “Nope, I’m a bear.” from “Jack Frost”. Just the way he says that line, as if he’s resigned to the fact that he is a bear is hilarious.

    *Special Mention*
    All of the Crow time travelling scenes in “Time Chasers”. But my favorite is when he’s explaining to himself that it all went wrong. Hilarious.

       0 likes

  41. Meadows says:

    “Bobbin’ Buzzard! Caw! Caw! Caw!”

       0 likes

  42. zaxxon25 says:

    The two Trace ones that get quoted often in the household are: “I wanna decide who lives and who dies” and “Would you like some … SOUP?” (from the Cheating short).

    Bill going back in time and facing the futility of changing Mike’s course in life.

       0 likes

  43. Boggy Geek says:

    Trace:

    Crow doing his imitation of General Patton as Timothy Van Patton made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to pass out.

    Agree w/#54…Trace did a great Basil Fawlty that always sent me into fits of laughter.

    Bill:

    Meh. Not a big fan.

       0 likes

  44. bobhoncho says:

    Beginning of 822-OATMB

    Crow:”And I know what you’re thinking, looking at that!”

    Mike:”Where’s the beef?”

    Crow:”Yeah! I mean No! You know you want me, baby!”

       0 likes

  45. Ator In Flight says:

    The ones that come to mind are Crow talking about his robot in Godzilla vs Megalon,Crow refuling Tom in Starfighters,Crow in a double jock lock,and Crow going off on Maltese men.

       0 likes

  46. Catalina says:

    Trace

    Crow’s “Am I qualified?” speech. I love how Trace could really communicate when Crow was particularly passionate about something, or that childlike good-naturedness he gave the character.

    The Van-Patten project. Again, Trace’s Crow seems so passionate about something that seems so silly, and it makes me laugh every time.

    Bill

    Crow’s profanity-laced deposition in Agent for H.A.R.M. “Anyways Mike, I hope this f&%*ing helps.”

    From Time Chasers, Crow visits Pearl’s trailer to complain to Mike about Tom Servo. I love the way Bill plays that scene.

       0 likes

  47. Stephanie says:

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned Crow’s sugar, caffiene and Nitzer Ebb induced hyperactivity during “Giant Spider Invasion”. One of my favorite moments is when he’s in the theatre just laughing at anything.

    And Trace’s Crow singing “Row, row your boat” during the sandstorm sequence of “Hercules against the Moon Men” will live forever for me. That section made the episode for me.

       0 likes

  48. Pat says:

    From the Trace era, during zombie nightmare when crow sings, “there’s a dead hunk in the middle of the road!” and “when your car hits a guy and his body goes fly that’s a dead guy.”

    From the Bill era, during the giant spider invasion when crow is trying to stay awake because of the pod invaders and his heart explodes

       0 likes

  49. Cliff Weismeyer says:

    My vote would go to Crow’s PSAs, like FAPS and Ms. Saigon syndrome. For me, the character is defined by his earnestness, self confidence, and inability to differentiate a good idea from a terrible one. Peter Graves at the University of Minnesota and the Jack Elam sketch are awesome as well. For the Bill era, I’d go with the monologue from Dr. Z, time travel, and Servo’s presentation Crow’s portraits. The capstone, of course, is “I want to decide who lives and who dies.”

       0 likes

  50. Edgewriter says:

    In the Starfighters when crow is stuck on hold with someone and um . . . links up with Tom to refuel and can’t talk because his mouth is stuck.

    And the episode with the evil crow that is all black that attacks in the theater

       0 likes

Comments are closed.