In episode order:
• 310- FUGITIVE ALIEN/ 318- STAR FORCE – FUGITIVE ALIEN II–Starwolf: Full of self-loathing and self-doubt, he is ultimately useless in virtually every challenge he faces, but then the Bacchus 3 crew set the bar pretty low…
• 408- HERCULES UNCHAINED–Herc, of course: Let’s face it, he spends a good deal of the movie asleep.
• 422- THE DAY THE EARTH FROZE–Lemminkainen: o/` He’s a failure, la-la-lah…o/`
• 501- WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD–Paper Chase Guy: As discussed this week, a whiny incompetent.
• 512- MITCHELL–Mitchell!: “Our hero, ladies and gentlemen…” Sleeps with hookers and drinks with his toes, the ultimate lame hero.
• 704- THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN–DOCTOR TED NELSON!: Repeatedly drops the ball throughout his entire investigation.
• 808- THE SHE CREATURE–Lance Fuller: Dead-eyed and comotose, the hero that just sort of stands there.
• 816- PRINCE OF SPACE/ INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN–yes, I know Prince of Space and Space Chief are technically different characters, but really we’re talking about the same archetype, and while our weapons are useless against them, lameness surrounds them.
• 910- THE FINAL SACRIFICE–Rowsdower. Nuff said.
• 1006- BOGGY CREEK II–Charles Pierce: He plays a smug, self-righteous callous jerk–and he wrote the movie!
How about yours?
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Weekend Discussion Thread: Lamest Heroes in a MSTed MovieSorry for the late start. Our topic this week is: Lame heroes in MSTed movies. There are, of course, so many of these to choose from, getting your list down to ten will be tough. Show your work.
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I know it’s a bit of a stretch…but what about Grandpa Borgnine from “Merlin’s Shop…”? I mean, he’s trying to tell a story to keep his grandkid entertained…and not only is it not suitable for his age bracket…not only does he forget the reason he first told the story until reminded…but the kid falls asleep before the end of the story!
Nina from The Atomic Brain…all she did was wander, complain…watched as zombie girl got mauled…killed Anita the girl-cat…and stumbles into a fortune just because she couldn’t keep her friend from getting her eye mauled out.
Bobo is right. I forgot all about Tommy Kirk in The Village of the Giants. He is incredibly lame.
I can’t believe no one’s mentioned Nayland Smith from ‘Castle of Fu Manchu!’ All that guy did is get in one extremely lame fistfight!
All the girls in “Angel’s Revenge” couldn’t buy any of them as heroes. Sean Connery’s brother in “Operation 007”. Super Dragon in “Secret Agent Super Dragon”.
Tommy Kirk in CATALINA CAPER.
The band is so underwhelmed by the hero that the singer lip-synchs the wrong words and giggles about it, and the band decides not to even play!
My God! You never realize how many topics can be discussed until you disect this show bit by bit. Another brutal topic to break down, I know I’ll be leaving some out. But here are the ones that stand out for me:
207- Wild Rebels: Rod Tillman is supposed to be an anti-hero, but he’s as lame as the last name of the actor playing him.
305- Stranded in Space: Neil Stryker, about as useless and memorable as this episode is to most MSTies.
315- Teenage Caveman: Robert Vaughn himself admitted this was one of the worst movies ever. And his performance as a philisophical caveman backs that statement up completely.
402- The Giant Gila Monster: Chase Winstead? Can’t sing, dance, act, or kill Gila Monsters with any authority. Can fix cars alittle.
404- Teenagers from Outer Space: Derek…he should be one of those Frankie Valli-Fabian types singing nothing but love songs, not someone trying to take down other aliens hell-bent on dishing out “TORCHA!!”
412- Hercules and the Captive Women: this was my choice for the least effective Hercules. Reg Park should have done commercials for sleep comforters instead, at least its something he’s good at.
418- Attack of the the Eye Creatures: several here, but most noticably the oily drifter in the sweater dress. I’m amazed the guy playing him wasn’t a real-life killer.
422- The Day the Earth Froze: Lemmankinan, for the many reasons already stated.
503- Swamp Diamonds: Touch Conners. Since when does a hero let himself get beat around by a bunch of gorgeous women? :shock: On second thought, I know why….
512- Mitchell: Even his name says, “Is that a beer?”
311 & 517: Peter Graves. If he’s really the hero, consider the planet doomed!
603- The Dead Talk Back: Henry Krasker is portayed as this super-intelligent, crime-solving character. What he’s actually is annoying.
How about our wimpy red-headed hero from SQUIRM – there’s a worm in my egg-cream…!
or that whiny idiot from IT LIVES BY NIGHT…
What about “Sir Gull I Ble” himself, Pendragon from EP 806 “The Undead”? :twisted: After leaving his true love, Elaine, safely at the tavern, he instantly believes, 2 minutes later, Lydia’s lies that she’s back in the Tower of Death. And when he doesn’t find her in said prison another 3 minutes later it must be because, duh, they took her away! Plus why doesn’t he question Lydia’s ability to project the false image of Elaine in prison to him, BEFORE Lydia admits she’s a witch to him.
GODZILLA VS. MEGALON – Jet Jaguar: As Joel asks “What kind of robot gets dizzy?” Tom laughingly replies “I don’t know…” I don’t know either. Godzilla pretty much does the real butt kicking here.