The alert regular we know as “I am not a medium, I’m a petite” has a suggestion so strange it JUST MIGHT WORK! He posits a future in which MST3K is outlawed…

And those that survived the Sandy Frank holocaust had to take MST3K deep underground into a dark world… of secret societies that would meet in so-called “laugheasies” in heavily soundproofed basements and catacombs to screen and discuss eps .. of digitized episodes illegally copied onto flash drives smuggled from city to city and country to country… of teams of Fahrenheit 451-style memorists that would commit entire subject films and riffing and host segments to memory..

The question is: How would these underground MSTies identify each other? What would the secret handshake be, what kinds of things might they wear to identify each other in clear but not too obvious ways, what would the passwords and counter-signs be…

MSTie 1: yes, what do you want?
MSTie 2. the golden spider duck sent me
MSTie 1. and when the floor waxer explodes?
MSTie 2. Lump Batchmuffin screams like a little girl.
And the door opens…

Two strangers make eye contact on a crowded bus…

MSTie 1: That is a nice button on your jacket
MSTie 2: Would you like to push it?
MSTie 3: Frankly, yes.
And a package discreetly changes hands.

They would casually whistle “California Lady” while reading in the park. They would subtly drop double “the”s into their conversation while wearing handkerchiefs on their head… and so on.

MSTie 1: The forklift is deadly tonight.
MSTie 2: And Captain Joe is drunk again.

I’ll let you go with it from there…