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Weekend Discussion Thread: Dumbest Statements in MSTed MoviesAlert reader Ken suggests:
Oh, no choice: From “The Amazing Colossal Man”: “…the heart is made up of a single cell for all practical purposes…” What’s your pick? 122 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Dumbest Statements in MSTed Movies”Commenting at Satellite News
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From Rifftrax there is the great line, “I’m not comfortable with demons”, from Paranormal Activity. No kidding. Anyone who is comfortable with demons might be worse to have in your house than a demon.
There was the great bonus sketch accompanying Matrix:Revolutions based on Neo’s inability to recognize that it was Agent Smith possessing his friend and calling him “Mr. Anderson” in that Agent Smithy way. It would be a bit like Billy Crystal encountering a man possessed by the spirit of Robin Williams, and after listening to a long digressing manic monologue for half an hour and then asking “Who are you?” in that voice of utter bafflement.
And a bit off topic I’ve been chuckling for the past few weeks after hearing the beginning of Thin Lizzy’s “Jailbreak” that starts with the line, “Tonight there’s going to be a jailbreak. Someplace in this town.” Hmmmm, my guess is that the jailbreak will probably happen at the jail. Just like most bank robberies take place at a bank, and the majority of casino heists occur in or around casinos. I could go on.
Off the top of my head, and because I just watched it over the weekend… the ridiculous, convoluted dialogue during the ‘ineffectual prank’ scene in Track of The Moon Beast.
“Will you forgive me?”
“I will if you stop explaining it!”
Boggy Creek 2:
Dr. Lockhart asks (over a walkie-talkie) if the ‘Creature’ is located to his right or left.
Crow replies: ‘Well, which way are you facing, idiot?’
Rowsdower. Zap Rowsdower.
Oh, and every word uttered in Hobgoblins.
Surprised nobody mentioned Terror from the Year 5000 and it’s breathtakingly stupid understanding of how carbon dating works.
“You can’t exist… not here and not now… not for another 3,000 years.”
“That ‘carbon-14 thing’ as you call it is only the most advanced method of discovering the precise date of archaeological artifacts.”
“WELL THAT’S WHAT I SAY! FIND OUT HOW OLD THINGS ARE!!!”
(she needs to deal with her rage)
I have to agree with those that also chose:
This is where the fish lives
from The Touch of Satan
Just thought I’d add one, from ‘Fire Maidens of Outer Space’
“It’s probable, but highly unlikely.”
Um, what? :dazed:
From Titanic: “A woman’s heart is like the ocean, deep and full of mysteries.” Right. And a man’s heart is like a basement, under lit and full of old newspapers and half empty paint cans.
From ‘The Starfighters’:
“Okay Grandma and Grandpa, I dunno why you old married folk like to hit that sack so early.”
umm… because SEX?
I’m surprised no one’s mentioned the classic exchange from BRIDE OF THE MONSTER:
Cop: “Monsters! This is the Twentieth Century!”
Reporter: “Don’t count on it!”
From XXX: “I’m a secret agent.”
Not anymore stupid.
From Commando Cody: “There’s been an unusual amount of atomic activity on the moon.”
How much is there usually?
And about “This is where the fish lives.” Is she talking about a single particular fish? What’s so special about this fish? There were probably lots of fish in the pond. Why single one out? Was it her friend? Her familiar maybe? Hey, that could explain it!
Pretty much any line Peaches Page mutters in “Racket Girls”. Especially when Clara gets done cursing about Scalli, then Peaches states the obvious, “You don’t seem to like him much”.
Honorable mention to John Agar in “Revenge of the Creature”. After Chris the dog yelps in pain. John to Helen, “He’s probably off just chasing a rabbit”.
Yeah John, Dogs generally howl in pain when chasing rabbits.
I know sex can be corny but who knew corn could be sexy?
The Starfighters
Here’s another one, from “War of the Colossal Beast”: when Joyce says that Glenn could still be alive because the Army never found his body in the Colorado River, Maj. Baird says that “the river is a mile deep in some places”. Uh, no … the Colorado River reportedly doesn’t get any deeper than about 100 feet.
I almost hate to say it, but “Flag on the moon. How did it get there?” almost makes sense, in a very dark, quasi Nihilistic, “how did man every manage to do that without everything going wrong” kind of way. It’s like a sociopath seeing something that was bigger than everyone involved and not understanding how or why people would do it. Then again, I may be giving a little too much credit to Coleman Francis.
Yeah, but Beast of Yucca Flats came out in 1961… 8 years before there was an actual flag on the moon.
Especially when it’s the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
From the Duck and Cover short: “Duck and cover.”
In a Cinematic Titanic example, there are too many statements in “The Alien Factor” to count.
All I know is I learned a lot more about corn de-tassling than the Starfighter jet.
“Flying an airplane is a lot like making love, once someone gets a little experience everyone thinks they’re an expert”