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Weekend Discussion Thread: MST3K Movie CrossoversThe regular contributor who guys by “Smoothie of Great Power” offers up this thought experiment:
Whoa, that just blew my mind. Can you contribute one? 49 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: MST3K Movie Crossovers”Commenting at Satellite News
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Operation Daddy-007: Sean Connery’s cousin, a singing truck driver, takes on international drug smugglers to avenge the death of his friend.
Gamera Vs. Eegah: Gamera teams up with Arch Hall Jr. to sing bad songs and kick Richard Kiel’s ass.
Sergeant O’Rourke and Lt. Commander McHale lead their respective service branches in a fight against alien eye creatures summoned by a Merlin gone bad.
The budding senior romance between the shop owner from Brute Man and the spinster from Atomic Brain
-OR-
The Slime People hire the wife from Deadly Bees to cause a global cigarette smoke winter
-OR-
The casts of Angels Revenge and Wild World of Batwoman battling evil on Spring Break
A sensitive family drama where Gorgo’s Mom is declared an unfit, inattentive mother by the British court system, with her and Dr. Floyd vying for custody. It becomes an international incident when both Godzilla and Gamera also move to gain custody. In the end, wise Judge Mothra must make the painful decision of who gets to keep the monstrous tyke.
Godzilla & Gamera vs. Megalon, the Sea Monster, Gaos, Guiron, Barugon, Zigra, and The Spider! (Wait, I’ll bet that’s probably already been done!)
Mr. B Natural and Nuveena of Design For Dreaming visit the home of Jeff and Mary, the happy couple in Once Upon A Honeymoon and the three of them decide to take on the swingers lifestyle just like Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.
Dr. Kurt Leopold of The Blood Waters of Dr. Z experiences the trials, tribulations and joys of forbidden fishman love with The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
Mitchell’s Final Justice
Joe Don Baker does double double-chinned duty as Sheriff Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III and Mitchell, investigating the kidnapping of an American official in Canada. While on the case, they are joined by Canada’s most dynamic crimefighting duo, Zap Rowsdower and Troy McGreggor. Together, the four men team up to stop a sinister plot to rule the world orchestrated by the resurrected forces of Sartoris and Walter Deaney.
I had an idea for a fanfic not too long ago where Dr. Forrester’s latest invention zaps Mike, Crow, and Servo into the bad movie universe, and the whole thing was one big epic crossover. Mike wound up in Koruba enslaved by Queen Lara, while Crow and Servo teamed up with Ilya Murametz, Rocky Jones, the Bacchus III crew, and the Angels Brigade to bring him back – all while being hunted by Queen Cleolanta, armed with the laserblasting arm cannon and with her deadly attack dog-lizard Barugon at her side.
I’d still like to write it someday. Every MST fanfic I’ve heard of was a riff on somebody else’s fic, and I think a big goofy adventure story across multiple movie universes would be a pretty cool change of pace. :D
Torgo and Ortega can combine forces to…yuk, never mind.
@9 – Your idea has a real LOST/Once Upon a Time feel to it – sounds like fun!
@jjb3k: DOOOO IIIIT! :-D
The touching love story of THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T DIE and THE THING THAT COULDN’T DIE. Heck, throw in THE SCREAMING SKULL and make it a love triangle!
I want to see a General Hospital spin-off, Experimental Doctors. The three main characters would be John Carradine’s Charles Conway (The Unearthly), Dr. Otto Frank (Frank Gerstle) from Atomic Brain, and Dr. Bill Cortner (played by whatshisname) from The Brain that Wouldn’t Die. Cortner would be the hospital’s Chief of Staff, naturally.
Each week, the three doctors would work on various difficult cases: brain transference, melting men, beasts of Yucca Flats, fish/man hybrids, “actors” with no acting ability. There would be the occasional guest stars, like the doctors from Mad Monster and Robot vs the Aztec Mummy. Many heated discussions about pushing the boundaries of science would take place in the break room, although ethics will never be mentioned.
We’ll also get to see the docs during their off-hours, as Cortner prowls strip clubs and Victoria’s Secret stores for the perfect body fit for his girlfriend Jan-in-the-Pan, who nags him incessantly and wants him to stay home so they can discuss emotions. Dr. Frank would have lots of cats, and girls with cats’ brains, and mice with girls’ brains, in his basement apartment, and as the series progresses, he begins to hit the Wild Turkey harder and harder. And Dr. Conway, once he arrives at his home, will wander through it every night, unable to get out again until the next morning when his assistant arrives to take him to the hospital.
Just a thought.
The Touch of Satan teams up with Devil Doll to create a line of creepy Lucinda dolls — just in time for Christmas!
No? OK, do the Trans-Canada shuffle with the cast of Zombie Nightmare (“She must be from Newfoundland.”) from the east meeting up with Troy and Rowsdower from Alberta’s The Final Sacrifice. They all converge in the bustling capital of Toronto, where Rowsdower finds out that there may not be beer on the sun but the CN Tower is darn close, eh? They all attend a hockey game. Hijinks ensue.
The Projected Devil Doll:
The Great Vorelli rebuilds his late identical twin’s projection machine and uses it to project Hugo into vaults and museums, committing a string of burglaries which leave police baffled.
But his plan goes horribly wrong when he accidentally sends Hugo into a wine and ham warehouse…
After a day of wacky intrigue in Catalina, Tommy Kirk and friends take off on a boat, but suddenly, the boat crashes thanks to the Sea Monster (from Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster) on a deserted island. From there, they are hounded by a crazed hunter who is trying to recreate “The Most Dangerous Game.” While fighting off the hunter they find a deserted beach haunted by a half mam/half-spider. After the hunter and the spider-guy (doesn’t seem right to call him spider man) team up and chase Kirk and gang with mutated killer shrews. After surviving a brutal sand storm, Kirk and gang find themselves stranded on a cliff. When all seems lost, from out of the sky comes Bob Dornan and his fighter pilots squad (with poopie suits in tow) and Coleman Francis’ Skydivers. They take them to safety at beautiful Party Beach. However, a giant monster is waiting for them. The partygoers and Kirk’s gang defeat the monster with copious amounts of sodium (after the scientist drove to the North Pole where Santa and Dropo realized he was good and gave him sodium to save Christmas.) Just when all seemed safe, Beau Bridges and his gang of heels decided they were tired of being told what to do and claimed the beach was theirs. After another rumble, Kirk, the party goers team with Mamie Van Doren and her Girls’ Town friends (after deftly escaping the cotton picking farm) and defeat Bridge’s gang. When all seems well, Tommy realizes he is lonely until he sees Kathy Ireland (who is not wearing glasses) strolling on the beach after returning from Austral…I mean the middle of the Earth. They run away and fly to San Francisco (avoiding Los Angeles due to slime people) and they live happily ever after.
Babs from “…Spider Island” and Peaches from “Racket Girls” take on the Russian spies from “Agent from H.A.R.M.”.
Final Sacrifice’s Troy McGregor. Teenage Strangler’s Mikey. Laserblast’s Froggy. The Dork Squad.
They join Heathcliff for a fun romp as they try to protect Professor Neon’s atomic hearing aid.
How about:
The eye creatures awaken Eegah. They gang up on Ator and then join up with Santa Claus to conquer the martians. Aram Fingal then joins the group and they prevent the Space Mutiny from ever happening. Because the Space Mutiny never happens, Mr. Lakropolis never becomes unscropulous (wink wink) and the Catalina Caper never happens, causing the girl to never buy Gold Boots.
Voldar (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) teams up with Pitch (Santa Claus) to try and get revenge on Santa Claus. Merlin, Droppo and Ki-Mar must fly down to Earth to thwart them, while Lupita finally gets a decent home working in Santa Claus’s outer space workshop, along with all the other kids. Bo-Mar and Gir-Mar catch up with Billy and Betty on Earth, and win a Golden Globe for their efforts. Pitch is impressed by Droppo’s brand of evil, and Lucifer himself offers Droppo a job in his organization.
Mitchell’s Shop of Mystical Justice
In this heartwarming children’s fantasy tale, Mitchell opens up a store, where he sells baby oil and sausages. Obnoxious reviewer Geronimo comes in and berates Mitchell, believing that he does not possess the ability to sell baby oil and sausages properly. So Mitchell gives Geronimo his book of spells. Geronimo takes it home and uses it to create hundreds of sausages, and they end up crushing him to death. The End.
The starfighters meet petey the plane, then, go to Vermont and hang out with Nick and his commodore 64. They join the team, travel forward in time to the year 5000, get the terror and head to the happy chef and have a hamburger sandwich with jimmy and the jungle goddess.
Riding with Death’s Sam teaming up with Torgo as delivery men. Sam Casey does the local jobs as long as he has his trusty delivery truck, 5-7 business days and 3 blocks to do it. Torgo does the cross country deliveries on foot. Eventually, Robert Denby sues the Torgo-a-go delivery service because they wouldn’t leave him alone. They later go on to sing in smokey, redneck cracker bars with Buffalo Bill.
Ok, ok, ok… Trying really hard for a story about El Santo and his Sampo, cause – get it? Ah, never mind…
… and aren’t all of these stories out of the Gameradammerung anyway?
The Giant Spider Invasion USA. Meteorites fall in the Soviet Union unleashing giant spiders. Commie scientists capture the spiders and turn them into weapons that are dropped on the United States as precursor to an all-out invasion.
Terror From the Phantom Planet. Scientists trying to perfect time travel instead bring tiny people from the batter-fried Phantom Planet to Earth.
The Space Children Mutiny. Annoying and strangely old children on an interstellar voyage decide they want off the ship, commandeer some golf-carts, and randomly blow stuff up in space.
It Lives By the Party Beach. Annoying honeymooners turn into bat creatures and terrorize spastically dancing teens at the beach.
Santa Claus Conquers the Sidehackers. Loathsome motorcyclists meet their match when Santa Claus comes to town.
Troxartis and John Saxon-type Guy team up as wizard king and his general to fight Ator and Deathstalker. Ator ends up doing most of the work.
Mitchell and the Seven Angels work together to stop a heroin ring that’s run by Robert Denby and Jack Palance.
Torgo and Gorgo, Together At Last!
First of all, this is one of my favorite discussion ideas in quite some time!
Second of all, if one did this with the public domain movies riffed (like “Manos”) or even the public domain shorts, we’d have free reign to do a perfectly legal fanfiction!
Third of all, here’s my idea:
The year is 1966. The stars have aligned once again and somewhere, out in the Texas desert, the Master awakens. Two women have been drawn into the evil of Valley Lodge, and it is time once again for the Manos coven to accept new wives for their vile patriarch. Their servant, Michael, welcomes the two unsuspecting victims into the dark house. Something, however, is wrong: the Master wakes to find himself weakened, aged. Someone has found a way to drain his considerable power during his last slumber, and to regain it, he must find a new source of evil, a new champion, to sustain himself. In the vast emptiness of the Texas desert, he wonders where he might find a living soul so vile and deranged, and prays to Manos for guidance. That vile god of primal darkness, however, has already selected a soul for him…though not one found among the living. In another desert it lies trapped in the corpse of a recently deceased convict, a man of such savagery and heartlessness that he literally ran all the way to hell, and died with only a penny and a broken cigarette. Fueled by the ancient evil of Manos, the corpse rises from the grave, and Griffin walks the Earth once again.
Yet the Master is not the only one to have found a new champion. The forces of light have been working through another, a man reborn, draining the Master’s power as he slept through ancient, arcane techniques. That champion feels the will of Manos working in that New Mexico graveyard, and he feels the dead man walking towards Valley Lodge. Though his legs are deformed, and his hand has been burned away, he has regained much of the life the Master had taken away from him, and rebuilt that which had remained lost. And now, he wants to put an end to the Manos cult that destroyed his life, once and for all…
The Crawling Eyes team up with THE THE Eye Creatures to stare mankind out of existence and take over the world. Not even Sgt. O’Rourke can save us this time.
Ooohhh! Nice! This is kind of like “Make Your Own Chick Flick/Buddy Picture” times two! For this one, I’m going ALL IN!!!! For the good guys, I still like my team up of Ator and Hercules, but this time they have the help of the Warrior of the Lost World and his rag-tag group of transportation experts, scientists Peter Graves and John Agar, Tommy and Trumpy, and Gamera. They battle the super-evil super-villains Louhi and her trolls from “Day Earth Froze”, evil scientists Yuri from “Werewolf” and Dr. Davis from “Devilfish”, the Amazing Colossal Man, Kalgan, the cyborg from “Future War”, and the spider from “Earth vs. Spider”. Freakin’ EPIC!!
Somebody FANFIC that, and gimme TWO!!
The girls from ‘Angel’s Revenge’ meet the girls from ‘Horrors Of Spider Island’ and wrestle.
…
Thats it. They just wrestle.
…
While I watch them.
…
Wrestling.
Maybe Dr Leipold (Blood Waters of DrZ) rescues a small tissue sample of the destroyed Devil Fish, and plans on mutating and growing even further in an attempt to RULE THE UNIVERSE! NPIT brings in it’s Italian branch to stop them, and batch-blocking spaghetti balls abound…
Ilya Muromets comes to Kaliballa (sorry if I’m misspelling) to SUCCESSFULLY recover the Sampo from Witchy-poo.
Or Aztec Guy and MegaWeapon! The world would be theirs!
I see the three Pauls coming together to form sort of an Avengers-type alliance (Projected Man, Werewolf, Moon Beast). Although Moon Beast Paul would probably be the odd man out, since he doesn’t really have a power except hitting people. So, the Hawkeye of the group. Action Paul!
Future War Of The Colossal Beast Of Yucca Flats. Glenn Manning and Tor Johnson inexplicably get their butts kicked by a shirtless Jean Claude Gosh Darn.
I think Shout! has come up with an excellent movie crossover: Mitchell and The Brain That Wouldn’t Die! Ever since I first played the disc, which has the two “talking” to each other in the menu screen thingy, I’ve wanted more. I love to hear Jan call Mitchell “my deformed friend.”
I’d like the naughty gals of “Swamp Diamonds” to teach the naughty gals of “The Violent Years” better vandalizing and man-dalizing techniques.
Voldar (SCCtM) and Pitch (SC) conspire to destroy both alternate world Christmases,
aided by the loan by Bob Evil (Time Chasers) of a time transport (turns out he had
another duplicate made- you just can’t trust Evil Guys). However, an all grown up
Girmar seduces Pitch (don’t worry, Joel’s strategic deployment of an umbrella prevents
any of the naughty bits from showing) while hoards of Mexican Santa Claus’s workers
come to his rescue in gratitude for his finally recognized them as a union and
their winning mandatory vacation time (this to the dismay of noted plutocratic labor
exploiter and destroyer of rain forests Tom Servo). Psychoanalysts believe
the failure of Servo to disperse them with water hoses led to his breakdown during
the notable ending of “A Child’s Christmas in Space.” He is doing well in rehab.
Btw, anyone else watch Rich Little’s A Christmas Carol every year?
Ex.: W.C. Fields as Scrooge: “Darn carolers. Hope they od on happiness.”
“God bless us every one.”
Ann-Margret plays Jody, the cool Kitten with a Whip.
Kathy Ireland plays Wanda, the nerdy Alien from L.A.
They fight crime, they commit crime, they go into space, they drag race, they become burlesque dancers. Does it matter? No. What really matters is….can they get along?!
Torgo and Tor Johnson team up…. but the movie never gets made. Why? Well, every time someone addresses “Torgo”, Tor Johnson gets up and leaves.
#10 – Not so much for a movie, but Torgo’s Pizza joins Ortega’s Catering for….. Yeah, you’re right. YECCH!
Kitten With a Whip brings down Girls’ Town (with the help of the “Violent Years” girls and the prisoners from “Swamp Diamonds”, of course)
And, of course, all the bizarre creatures in bad monster outfits (under the command of the space pickle) team up for the Dopey Monster Apocalypse!
The Mellow Squad: Ben Murphy as the mellow Sam Casey, along with Dr. Mellow Ski-Bum from IT Lives by Night and non-monster versions of Paul from Track of the Moon Beast and Billy from Laserblast, solve mild detective cases but mostly sit around being very, very mellow. Soundtrack consists of the mellow folk sounds of Roger Whittaker.
Robot Rumpus Holocaust – Gumby and Pokey join the fight against The Dark One. And the sewage worms really are played by Kukla.
The evil space babes from Gamera vs. Guiron team up with Cleolanta and her forces and the Krankorians to try to take over Earth! They are stopped by the Martians, Rhetonians and the crew of the Bacchus III.
Queen Samara(Hercules Against the Moon Men), Queen Lara(Outlaw), Queen Antinea(Hercules and the Captive Women) and Queen Lidia(Hercules Unchained) plot together to take over the world, with the Council of the Hot Queens!
@15
Are you deliberately making the same mistake the Americans made in John Candy’s Canadian Bacon?
Incidentally, the night I visited Parliament Hill a skunk wandered by the buildings. You cannot escape the wildlife in Canada even at their seat of government. Everybody’s a critic.
It stinks!
“THE BLOODLUST OF SPIDER ISLAND”
The island from BLOODLUST is the same as the one in HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND. A hunter tracks mutant spider men for sport, and the youthful scuba divers from CATALINE CAPER are caught in the middle.
You know what? I’m gonna write this movie. :)
#46
Fortunately Albert Balleau of Bloodlust (the hunter) is infatuated and sidtracted
by Creepy Girl, allowing a confused insurance investigator to lure him
to a pier and push him into the water. Balleau is last seen swimming
after the kids returned giant tour boat as it sails away. (Toss).
Zap “Action” Rowsdower and Nick “Castleton” Miller join forces in an epic adventure to stop the Ziox cult at it’s source – the ancient past!
Using Nick’s Time Machine 2.0, they go back in time and us their modern weaponry to commit genocide upon a prehistoric, human-sacrificing culture to prevent anyone from claiming Canada as their birthright in the future. They aren’t the only ones, however. Matthew “Pink boy” Paul has been keeping tabs on Nick ever since he was laughed out of Gen-Corp, and he’s ready for revenge, even if it means leading savages to victory over a force of overwhelming technology.
Mister B Natural. Mitchell. They’re cops.