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Weekend Discussion Thread: Best Pearl Moments

We’ve begun season seven in the episode guide, and that means the arrival of Dr. F’s mom, Pearl, who became M&TB’s torturer in seasons eight, nine and 10.

So what is your favorite Pearl moment from the entire series?

Me? I’d have to go with her half of the duet with Observer in “822- OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK,” “When Loving Lovers Love.” So funny.

What’s yours?

117 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Best Pearl Moments”

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  1. Patrick says:

    One of my favorite MST skits of all times. “You guys couldn’t turn me on if you had a dozen naked Garardos and Fabio in tight lether pants.”

    That combined with the scene where Crow reads the “dirty book” to a sick Ms. Forrester.

    Finally, I loved the whole Jan in a Pan thing.

    Good Stuff!

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  2. ck says:

    The whole PBS concept was great (especially to reflect on when PBS is doing one of its interminable shillathons), and Sampo’s right about “When loving lovers love”, and Mike’s going over to visit her in chilly near absolute zero weather. Notice how Pearl so frequently gave out sound observations
    (wear a sweater if the temperature may drop to absolute zero, always take care of your phone bank- PBS, pleae note, why not have Ortega help out?)

    Actually, a PBS phone bank of , say, Ortega, Krankor, Eegah, Mitchell, Torgo, and the Icky Elf Guy would be…interesting.

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  3. rcfagnan says:

    There are quite a few to choose from, but I’m going to go with the moment where Clayton Deborah Susan pulls a knife on her and she calmly takes a gun from her purse, puts on the ear muffs, tracks, and shoots the knife out of his hand and then shoots her son repeatedly. “Aren’t you hooligans due back in the the-ater?” And of course, this is followed by her cradling her bandaged and broken son and treating him like an infant. They had a seriously messed up relationship. Runner-up: A tie between the “Earth vs. Soup” host segments and her epic line in “Laserblast”: “God, I’m glad I never got rid of the big rig.” Honorable Mention: (’cause no one’s brought it up yet…) The “Mike’s Tripping” sketch from Final Justice. I promise never to send you another Joe Don Baker movie in which a Texas sheriff shot and slides down a wall twice!

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  4. Johnny Ryde says:

    “If he wants to paint the house, then he’s going to have to buy the enamel…”

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  5. ck says:

    Of course, you have to consider that when Pearl is nice Mike and the bots tend to take advantage. Send up a couch and what do they do? Jump up and down on it!
    “Oh, we just can’t have nice things!”

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  6. OnenuttyTanuki says:

    Since most of the moments I like have been said. I’m going to go with the part from the 1997 Oscar show where Mike and the bots are joined by Pearl and the guys in making fun of different clips from that year’s films and Pearl claims that she’s dating George Clooney and they better run some footage from Batman and Robin. Which Servo responds with show various clips of Non-Clooney guys like Richard Attenborough, Mikey from Men in Black,and the director of Fifth Element before she throws him across the theater.

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  7. H says:

    I have to go with the penguin costumes in Screaming Skull. The way she starts out so excited about it and then bit by bit realizes what a dumb and pointless plan it was really gets me every time.

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  8. MikeK says:

    I love the “When Loving Lovers Love” song. Pearl does it so well. She does well with the whole pledge drive thing too. The song is a good, accurate generalization of the nonsense that PBS shows when it wants your cash. “From now on I’m playin’ the ponies on some well-meaning liberal’s coin. Ka-ching!”

    I like Pearl when she has her fun fair, the one in the episode Squirm. “Come to the fair!”

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  9. Flintheart says:

    Clayton…Clayton…Clayton…Claytoooooonn…
    I’m still amazed at how long she carried on with that without cracking up.

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  10. billybkool says:

    Not a big Pearl fan here either but my fave moment isn’t a Pearl Forrester appearnace at all. I love when she unaccountably calls on the Hexfield and starts the whole ‘Arnie and Chopper’ dialogue. Outrageously funny….almost a Trailer Park Boys moment !

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  11. M "Ha Ha Ha, Ha... Ha" Sipher says:

    One of my all-time favorites is her oddly stilted, nervous delivery when announcing to the SOL that they’ll be watching Girl In Gold Boots, all because there’s the guy from the certification committee for Mad Scientists there taking notes. Especially her scripted, badly-delivered laugh. The pause towards the end really sells it.

    Mary Jo was also definitely on the same page as Trace in the delivery of a perfectly timed, completely even-toned, not-even-looking-at-the-recipient “Shut up.”

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  12. BDiamond says:

    I’ve gotta echo the Time Chasers/Widowmaker skit. My favorite line, though, comes at the very end: “Oh, Mike! I despise everything you stand for and…well, you know the rest.” And then she quietly ends the scene with: “He’s a good kid.” Warms my heart for some reason.

    Though MJ, in my opinion, is not as strong a physical comedian as Trace, Kevin or Bill, my other favorite Pearl moment is her discovery of the bomb that Bobo & co. are tinkering with. She comes out complaining about the noise and the chanting, sees the bomb, and instantly flips around and runs out of the scene. Makes me laugh every time.

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  13. stephy the babysitter says:

    I agree with many here, but my favorite is:
    (I don’t know what episode) when she screams at Bobo for acting silly:
    “What do you think this is? Clown college? Don’t make me puke!” Followed by her exasperated look at the close-up camera.
    SO FUNNY
    Then in Overdrawn:
    “What’s your name? Ortega? That’s pretty”.
    I saw that one when I was younger, then saw Zombies years later and finally learned who Ortega was. Very good moment.

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  14. Josh says:

    CLAYTON! CLAYTON! Ohhhh…clayto–CLAYTON!

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  15. Josh says:

    Oh, and the moment where…crap, can’t remember the episode…well, when Crow comes down to visit her in her VW as they look at the stars. Very sweet. Definitely not a moment you could have had with the other mads. In fact, every interaction with Art was very endearing.

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  16. Robin Hood: Prince of Feebs says:

    My favorite moment was when she ordered the doomsday device from Spigel, and the radioactive “thing” got delivered to the satellite instead.

    “Well, nevermind how you’ve hurt me…I still want you to have your movie.”

    “This taking over the world stuff is hard. Why don’t you do it or something?”

    Some of my fav Pearl quotes.

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  17. beth says:

    Tim Turner! You made me remember my fave line, the whole “chikin in a biskit” skit.

    Can’t even call it normally now, gotta say it like Brain Guy, “no more chicken — in — a — biskit”

    Bobo’s messing with my favorite snack cracker!

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  18. Ken says:

    Hobgoblins:

    Stop jumping on that couch……
    Oh, we can’t have nice things….I am going to give you such a movie!!!!

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  19. ck says:

    And there’s Pearl’s logic for going into the wormhole to retrieve Bobo. Her concern that it might change history and her favorite recreation activity (playing the slots) would vanish.

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  20. Katana says:

    ck #69: It doesn’t hurt that the line she says ended up being the top quote on the For Want Of A Nail page at TV Tropes:

    “What happens if Bobo causes one of those weird numbers where he goes back into the past and steps on a butterfly or something, and because of that mammals as we know them never evolve, and because of that mankind never invents slot machines, and my favorite hobby goes straight down the toity, huh?!”

    All of my favorites have been said, and then some, but hey…if not for Pearl, I wouldn’t have my “sucks on toast” remark.

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  21. JAY says:

    I always thought that Pearl was funniest when she was trying to pull off some elaborate scam (Public Pearl Television, Legend of Forrester’s Swamp, the time the she disguised the Castle as a cruise ship).

    Looking back, PPTV was really a tour de force for Mary Jo.

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  22. The Toblerone Effect says:

    While the Joel/Dr. F/TV’s Frank era will always be my favorite, Pearl’s character did grow on me after awhile. By the end of Season 8, she had her character’s traits and tendencies down well, and she was at her comedic best when she would be the butt of a joke, and would exact revenge to whoever the culprit was.

    As for fav Pearl scenes, mine would include where she sends her couch to the SOL, and after M&tB jump up and down on it squirting juice boxes, she threatens them with “Hobgoblins”…which as we soon find out, was a punishing (yet very funny) episode. Also, her scenes with Frank coming back as a “Soultaker” are great.

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  23. crowschmo says:

    I’ll have to go with “When Loving Lovers Love” also. I’ll have to watch more Pearl eps to add to that. I forget other stuff, though ones already mentioned are the best ones I CAN recall. Wasn’t a big fan of Pearl’s but she had her moments due to Mary Jo.

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  24. crowschmo says:

    ^^^^Mary Jo’s PERFORMANCE, of course, I meant.

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  25. MikeK says:

    Pearl’s turn in the movie theater during Quest of the Delta Knights is good as well. I like how Tom and Crow get attached to her after she gave them a mint from the bottom of her purse.

    Quest of the Delta Knights and Last of the Wild Horses should together in a future DVD set.

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  26. BromaCleanse says:

    The first episode is terrible I must say :mrgreen:

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  27. bobhoncho says:

    I’d have to say in “Hobgoblins” (907) when she is presenting the experiment. I think out of all her moments she is the most evil here.

    Bobo: AAAAAHHHH!!!

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  28. Captain Hank says:

    Agreed with the duet during “Pearl, Pearl, Pearl, Pearl, Pearl.” I’m also a fan of when she was charged with the care of the three space children (I forget during which episode) and kept feeding them random grocery items, such as hearts of palm and Rose’s lime juice.

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  29. KentuckyCunctator says:

    PPTV!

    I’m still waiting for my tote bag. I have so many things just waiting around to be toted.

    A bit of advice, never give Ortega access to your Paypal account.

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  30. Jamie says:

    I agree with #36. THAT was my favorite Pearl momment! P: I want to give you a hump. BG: well…whatever your feelings for me…P: On your back! BG:well thats sexual harassment and Im not going to stand for it! (or something like that)P: A latex hump. BG: well see here!! LOL 2nd fav: In Space Children Actually the short Century 21 Calling her with all the phones. 3rd: Space Mutny with her getting irritated with BrainGuy’s quarter power: Send Mike down! Takes the sword and hits BG over his head: Heres your final movie I promise Its a real piece of cheeze called “Space Mutny”. Hey Brainload!………LOL

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  31. MPSh says:

    EMBOUCHURE!

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  32. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    PPTV! Let’s watch, won’t we?

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  33. ck says:

    Ah yes. I forgot about Brain Guy’s mistakes in trying to follow Pearl’s orders to “Bring Mike Down!” Btw, I hope Mike Down got Pearl a good insurance plan.

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  34. MikeK says:

    Mike Down was a CPA (Certified Public Accountant), not an insurance agent. If he did get Pearl a 401K that tanked in the recent economic crisis, I’m sure she’s putting the hurt on him.

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  35. The Bolem says:

    I agree that we got a great sampling of her full character throughout the end-of-Season-8-trilogy, but there’s one moment I’m surprised no one mentioned:

    Her funeral, in segment 2 of The Deadly Mantis.
    As M&TB mourn her having gone down with the Earth she served as Lawgiver, an unnerving pinging causes them to look outside and see the Widowmaker (for the first time outside of the opening), and Pearl explaining, “The rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated…” as she reloads her gun.

    Now, if we actually think about this for a second, we might realize that even without friction or gravity to affect the bullets, a handgun can’t really do serious damage to the SOL, but somehow, Pearl seems genuinely menacing here. It’s partly how crazy her hair is with the bone blasted out of it, a clever semiotic device which tells us that though the “Lawgiver” persona has indeed been blown away by the Holy Alpha/Omega Bomb, it takes more than that to actually finish HER, and Mary Jo’s delivery conveys a sense of being unfazed, but still vengance driven, and makes you feel like there really is a lot at stake in the ensuing chase as Gypsy pulls the SOL behind that focacia bread. Even considering that we want whatever effect our favorite puppet show is going for to work, it does so surprisingly well, and it couldn’t unless MJP and the other writers all had her character down pat, laying the foundation for all her future character development ‘Beyond The Planet Of The Apes’ (TM?).

    And that’s what makes it my favorite Pearl Forrester moment.

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  36. asdfa says:

    I liked her chats with Art.

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  37. Rex Dart says:

    How do you feel about… tactical midirection!?

    I love Pearl.

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  38. ck says:

    #84
    “Mike Down was a CPA (Certified Public Accountant), not an insurance agent.”
    ================================

    MD could have helped Pearl with a tax break on that outrageous yearly fee she resented having to pay for Bobo at Castle Forrester (or at least tax credits on moving expenses).

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  39. Time for another Top 10. Each quote pretty much is meant as an embodiment of the whole host segment (or movie segment in the case of #5).

    10. “It’s an old family recipe made of cucumbers and Windex.” – Squirm
    9. “Oh boy oh boy, Singapore!” – Horrors of Spider Island
    8. “Nelson, prepare for my maddest madness yet… Ah… ha ha ha…” – Girl in Gold Boots
    7. “Clayton! Clayton! Oh God, you’re killing me, Clayton! Clayton! Clayton!” – Deathstalker
    6. “What was your name again?” – Gorgo
    5. “Comes with a free pool cue!” – Quest of the Delta Knights
    4. “Hey, sit down! Do you want me to marry you?” – It Lives by Night
    3. “It sucks on toast!” – Night of the Blood Beast and Riding with Death
    2. “Would you just lasso the stupid ship, PLEASE?!” – Prince of Space
    1. “Your rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated, you crap heads!” and “Who’s there? I have a gun! I have lots of guns!” – The Deadly Mantis

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  40. Steve Vil says:

    As Pearl was instantly one of my favorite characters I can’t point to a specific favorite moment. However, her very first appearance, where she walks right past Dr. F and hugs Frank was the best character set-up ever.

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  41. Yipe Striper says:

    when she ‘gets’ a space program…

    you can just sit down!

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  42. jello says:

    Pearl’s little chat with Mike is one of my favorites, mainly because (as a few others have noted) it really was a uniquely Pearl thing that wouldn’t have worked IMO with any of the other Mads. She had a number of funnier moments in s9 & s10, but the writers were really channeling old Mad & Sidekick formula. Not that I’m complaining, and not that they didn’t infuse it with some individual personality but the underlying sketches wouldn’t take much tweeking to fit right into the mouths of Dr. F and TVs Frank.

    As a side note, the readon for the SciFi -> SyFy thing… it’s all about trademarking. There’s another new crew up in the Corp. offices over there and they decided they want to strengthen the branding end of the channel. That’s kinda hard to do when you have a generic and not markable name, thus the change to SyFy something unique that they can put a (TM) on. It’s all 100% marketing BS.

    jello. aka aron.

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  43. Roman Martel says:

    Gotta throw in my vote with Public Pearl and the whole duet with Brain Guy. Not only are the performances in that scene spot on, but the lyrics are hilarious and the camera work and editing just add to the whole feel. One of my favorite host segments of the series.

    But my favorite Pearl line has got to be “Taste the rainbow of Fruit PAIN!” That is one quote that can be used weekly. :)

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  44. My favorite moment was her line used to describe “Horrors Of Spider Island”.
    “It stars noone and features nothing.”
    That line perfectly describes a majority of the MST films (and many non MST films as well).

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  45. pearliemae says:

    I adore Pearl, as you can probably deduce from my handle. All of the above, and all the ones I can’t think of at the moment. MJ does crazy very, very well.

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  46. #93: Actually that line is used to describe Track of the Moon Beast.

    For Horrors of Spider Island she says something along the lines of, “Hmm, no movie… Oh, except for this one. And it’s a really bad movie. I hope that’s okay.”

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  47. Jan in the Pan says:

    I think the host segments suffered in the SciFi era. I know SciFi wanted them to do “storylines” which wasn’t great for the characters. I like Pearl vastly more than Bobo or Brain Guy. She did have some great lines.

    I particularly liked Overdrawn At the Memory Bank’s song segment as others did. I also loved when she switched places with Mike in Quest of the Delta Knights.

    Pearl’s best moment for me (after Dr. F was gone) will always be when she punishes Mike and the ‘bots for messing up her rent-to-own couch in Hobgoblins- “I’m going to send you SUCH a movie.” “We don’t care.”

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  48. John Seavey says:

    I think my all-time favorite Pearl scenes have already been mentioned, but I’ll draw attention to a classic line from one of those scenes that nobody brought up yet:

    “You know, Mike…sometimes I think I lie because I’m evil.”

    Delivered as only MJ can, with a sort of deranged, apologetic sincerity.

    I am so glad that the last few seasons of the show gave MJ a chance to really shine.

    Oh, as to skits nobody’s mentioned yet, I’ll point to the “three-card monte” sequence in “Hamlet” (“Oh, I forgot, you’re also a puss. I pick middle!”) or for that matter, the end of “Hamlet”. “Well, here’s a body! You’re in luck! Is it me? Am I a magnet to these people?”

    Or the bit in “Hobgoblins”, where she’s trying to figure out what’s up with Mike and the bots. “They seem kind of…flat, and lifeless…”

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  49. Wampa Joe says:

    I’m one of those oddballs that actually think the host segments were at their pinnacle during season eight, as the Brains were forced to think outside of the box and go to new settings every few weeks. I loved the whole concept of Pearl slowly taking on more associates as planets and civilizations were left burning in Mike’s wake.

    What I think was particularly effective was how much less of a mad scientist Pearl was during these 22 episodes. Reinventing her as some sort of trailer trash queen trucking through the cosmos gave the series such a jolt that you didn’t focus on Trace not being there. It’s only when you get to season 9 and they return to the same “Mads performing evil experiments in centralized location” concept that you begin to miss Clayton and Frank.

    So yeah, most of my favorite Pearl moments were in season 8, especially towards the latter-half when her relationships with Bobo and Observer were cemented. The Roman arc and her catty relationship with Flavia has already been mentioned, but I also enjoyed the weird pseudo-sexual chemistry she employed with Brain Guy at this time (which was carried over into the “Loving Lovers Love” song).

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  50. MoxieHart says:

    Pre Sci-Fi: I loved when Dr. F. put her in a home during Escape 2000 and the home turns out to be some children’s playhouse that he has her trapped in. Then Toblerone rescues her.
    Sci-Fi Era: I have to echo the love of Public Pearl TV and the friendly chat with Mike and Art. Also, her “Where do babies come from” chat with the evil Space Orphans.

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