Books by Sampo!

 

 

Support Us

Satellite News is not financially supported by Best Brains or any other entity. It is a labor of love, paid for out of our own pockets. If you value this site, we would be delighted if you showed it by making an occasional donation of any amount. Thanks.

Sampo & Erhardt

Sci-Fi Archives


Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Social Media


Super Bowl Weekend Discussion Thread: Your Favorite Sports-Related Riff or Bit

Alert reader “droid” writes:

Since the Packers will be playing the Steelers in this years Super Bowl, I thought it would be fun to pick your funniest sports riffs. Living in Wisconsin I’ll go with The Giant Spider Invasion on all the “Go Packers, whoooooo!!!” comments. That brings a smile every time.

I’m gonna go with Dr. F and Frank, dressed as ’70s relief pitchers Rollie Fingers and Tug McGraw, respectively, in episode 622- Angels’ Revenge. There’s just something so random about it.

What’s your pick?

168 Replies to “Super Bowl Weekend Discussion Thread: Your Favorite Sports-Related Riff or Bit”

Commenting at Satellite News

We are determined to encourage thoughtful discussion, so please be respectful to others. We also provide an "Ignore" button () to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our Commenting Guidelines page for more details, including how to report offensive and spam commenting.

  1. MPSh says:

    Also from Angels’ Revenge when the camera shows the Angel with the gigantic ‘fro, Crow says “Jose Cardenal looks on”. (He had a large ‘fro as well, y’see…_

       0 likes

  2. Pemmican says:

    Hmm… Merlin Olsen’s entire performance in Mitchell?

    “There is no more soup, sir,” and… “I am not a lousy butler!”

       0 likes

  3. pablum says:

    Boggy Creek II

    “The Razorback hat lacks the quiet dignity of the cheese wedge.”

       1 likes

  4. JCC says:

    There’s another Mariners dig in Invasion USA. I think the suave announcer guy says, as the Russians are thoroughly pummeling us, “It’s the bottom of the Ninth and we’re the home team…” Servo adds “And we’re the Mariners.”

       0 likes

  5. Invasion of the Neptune Man says:

    It’s a reversal on this thread but the discussion on New England journalists during the race car scene in Riding with Death is especially cherished by me because my brother-in-law actually is a New England journalist!

       0 likes

  6. Justin Bailey says:

    MST3K: The Movie. Brad Keeley is credited as “Video Assist” or something like that, and when the credit comes up, Mike says: “They’re on the blue line, they’re over the blue line OH NICE ASSIST BY BRAD KEELEY!”

    I just think it’s really clever, is all.

       0 likes

  7. Chief?McCloud! says:

    I haven’t read all 55 posts ahead of me yet….

    But, in The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, doc has Jan’s head wrapped in his jacket running and carrying it just like a football, the riff “he’s to the twenty, he’s to the ten….” always gets me chuckling.

       0 likes

  8. aprilmay says:

    Look Look Look at my Crotch!

    Gets me every time.

    And in Giant Spider Invasion, every time they yell “Packers”! In fact, anytime they yell Packers. Because even in Southwest Virginia there are insane Packers fans.

       0 likes

  9. Zee says:

    I am not a sports guy at ALL, but my dad is, and when he would listen in on me watching MST3K he would throw out explanations for the sports references. Once day we was walking by the TV while I was watching The Skydivers and my dad said “Do you know who Tom Boerwinkle is?” I just happened to have the episode guide open to Paul Chaplin’s entry on that episode and was able to answer “hulking white guy who played for the Chicago Bulls in the early Seventies”. My dad was so surprised he did an exaggerated fake faint and laid face-down on the floor.

    And so THAT will always be my favorite sports-related riff or Bit.

       0 likes

  10. Zee says:

    that should say ‘HE was walking by the TV’, not ‘WE’.

       0 likes

  11. Son of Bobo says:

    The Packers references are priceless. Of those not mentioned I am blanking on the episode, but someone mentions a giant and Mike asks, “Simms?….Bvarro?” Also, “As we left the clam flowage that day…”
    @AprilMay I’m glad to know that I’m not the only MSTie in SW Virginia.

       0 likes

  12. chris says:

    I’ve got 3 that come to mind. #1 is from “Prince of Space when during a chase scene with Kran-whore and POS Mike says “Oh,Kankor just blew up a potential tackler and sees nothing but daylight.” #2 is from TISCWSLAB from season 8 when the fortune teller is pushed by the dought guy and Mike says “And Joan Collins gets knocked across the boards!”#3 from “I Was A Teenage Werewolf” when Michael Landon was about to toss the milk when Servo says “He checks the runner.”

       0 likes

  13. eegah says:

    What? Nobody has mentioned the “Evil Event Days” baseball promotions from 509-“Girl in Lover’s Lane” yet?

    Colorless Odorless Toxic Gas Night
    Crossbow/San Diego Chicken Night
    Owens Corning Fiberglass Insulation Night
    Parke-Davis Used Syringe Night
    Peppermint Schnapps & Tire Iron Double Hitter
    Slide Whistle/Brass Knuckle Night

       0 likes

  14. SuperSwift says:

    Perfect timing for this topic and a great idea. Okay, I don’t have anything to add but I’d like to applaud those that can remember these funny situations/riffs. Bravo.

       0 likes

  15. aprilmay says:

    @sonofbobo I’ve never met a fan (at least someone at my level of fandom) locally, nice to hear they’re around! :)

       0 likes

  16. michelle k says:

    From MST3K: The Movie– aerial view of a city and Crow says “Hey you can see the Cubs losing!”

       0 likes

  17. Spector says:

    In the short “Are You Ready for Marriage?”, where the marriage guidance counselor unveils his “marriage development point” chart with little dolls, Crow responds, “Bobby Orr’s Electric Marriage! Real Marriage Action!” Bobby Orr was a superstar hockey player and in the early 70s there used to be a Bobby Orr Electric Hockey game promising “real hockey action”.

       0 likes

  18. Spector says:

    Other hockey related riff: From Prince of Space, when they first see the Krankor space ship, “Ah, the Stanley Cup has invaded earth!” From “Manhunt in Space”: “Your Minnesota North Stars!”

       0 likes

  19. Nuveena says:

    Michelle K, was just going to mention that one. Also the mountain shot with “soccer teams all over the place” and the falling rubble, “The Kingdome!”

       0 likes

  20. MPSh says:

    @67: When I was a kid, we had one of those table hockey games. However, it was the Phil and Tony Esposito game, not the Bobby Orr Electric Hockey game. Orr and Espo were both practically demigods in the Boston area in the early 70’s….

       0 likes

  21. Raptorial Talon says:

    @48

    Yeah, I’m a native too, and though I have no fondness for football, a Packers SB win would not be simply an excuse but a mandate to scream “PACKERS WON THE SUPERBOWL! WOOO!” every 20 seconds at everyone I see.

       0 likes

  22. Sharktopus says:

    When they call the buxom blonde giantess in Skydivers Tom Boerwinkle that always gets me. I’m not even old enough to remember him playing, but I was really into basketball in the ’90s so I was somehow aware of him.

    And Frank’s spot-on Tug McGraw impression is always funny, of course. You don’t need any sports knowledge to appreciate that one.

       0 likes

  23. Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    “Show’em your Tug McGraw, Frank.”

    “Hi. I’m Tug McGraw.”

    Classic, totally random, and Hilarious.

    Also, I love the “are youuu ready for sum foooootbaaaaallll??!!!!!!?” riff that runs through Laserblast.

    I’m a lifelong Chicago Bears fan, and it pains me to do so, but I will be rooting for The Packers. NFC baby, all the way!! Whoot-whoot!!

       0 likes

  24. The Toblerone Effect says:

    I’ve always loved the Bill Buckner reference in Manos; it almost seems spontaneous.

    In Mitchell, I love how Joel mimmicks JDB when he asks Merlin Olsen, “So, do you know Roman Gabriel?” It’s so random that I can’t help but laugh.

    In a scene in Tormented, when an organ is being played at Tom Stewart’s wedding, Crow impersonates an announcer as he says: “And once more, there is no smoking in your Metrodome!” with Joel adding crowd applause in the background.

       0 likes

  25. MrsPhyllisTorgo says:

    I love the running comments in Final Sacrifice, but my favorite is:

    “And I will be the one…to hold Larry Czonka down…I’ll kiss him so hard…I’ll take Larry Czonka’s breath away.” The lyrics are from a Sarah McLachlan song, a singer I just loved at the time. The combination was too much for me, and I laughed for ages.

       0 likes

  26. Clu Gulager says:

    @ Bobby 23-Skidoo

    Agreed (even though, as you said, its pushing the definition of “sports riff”). Never been much of a sports fan, but I used to love wrestling. In addition to the ones you mentioned, some of my other favorite AWA references were to Verne Gagne (Beast of Yucca Flats), Wahoo McDaniels (Track of the Moon Beast), and “Mean” Gene Okerlund (Assignment: Venezuela).

       0 likes

  27. Clu Gulager says:

    Oops… unintended smiley insert up there.

       0 likes

  28. RGA Dave says:

    “Girl in Gold Boots”, in the scene where Critter is trying to talk whats-her-name out of being a go-go dancer, and she says “Aren’t you the great one?” to which Tom says “Gretzky?”

       0 likes

  29. Invasion of the Neptune Man says:

    #74 reminded me of in Touch of Satan after Jody leaves the gas station with the homakaddal maniac attendant, we see Jody driving and Mike riffs “He forgot to give me my Roman Gabriel cocktail glass.”

       0 likes

  30. Jim Hardcheese says:

    another from the movie ” …. here’s a hard copy. The Cubs lost again.”

       0 likes

  31. Ray The Whimsical Lampshade says:

    From The sinister Urge: “And she’s into the pits for a new slip she’s got the Junior Johnson pit crew helping her out.”
    Junior Johnson was a NASCAR driver and team owner.

       0 likes

  32. wotunw5o says:

    Wrasslin fan here. My fav is in Legend of Dinosaurs there’s a Bobby Heenan reference.

       0 likes

  33. DICKWEED 1 says:

    Before reading the rest of the comments. I’m going to say when Dr. Fiancee has JAN IN THE PAN’s head running. Meanwhile M&TB’s are doing play by play of him going for a TD! Side poll… Who U Got in SUPER BOWL? I’m leaning Steelers.

       0 likes

  34. Johnny Ryde says:

    I like that riff in Soul Taker when the mayor hands the forms to Bob Villa to fill out to have his son taken off life-support. As Bob looks over the clipboard, they riff, “Yeah, gotta go with the Packers; Favre’s really kickin’ ass lately. And Redskins over the Chargers for sure…”

    Say, in Mitchell, I don’t actually remember any riffs based on Merlin Olson’s football (playing or broadcasting) career. Did I miss any, or were the only jokes about his past based on the commercials he filmed?

       0 likes

  35. I think it was in ‘Gamera Vs Gaos’ where the two monsters end up fighting over a sports arena. Joel and the bots start to sing the “Charge!” music. Joel says, “They’re going to settle it like men. On the gridiron!”

       0 likes

  36. Titanius Anglesmith, Fancy Man of Cornwood says:

    “Nittany Lions are sent in…” from “Diabolik” Never a Steeler reference in ten seasons, so we here in PA have to take what we can get.

       0 likes

  37. KJB says:

    I like the riff during the shot is Space Travelers when the rescue launch has to scrubbed at the last second:

    “But for Vince Lombardi and the Green Bay Packers, there would come…another day.”

    Maybe it’s because that shot really looks one of those football docs from the ’70s, but that line never ceases to make me laugh.

       0 likes

  38. Johnny Ryde says:

    “Babs played full-back for the Lions…”

       1 likes

  39. Ryan says:

    Always get a great laugh out of the PACKERS!!! riffs. One I haven’t seen mentioned yet is from Horrors of Spider Island when they mention that Babs played fullback for the Lions.

       0 likes

  40. monoceros4 says:

    Twice at least the show’s referenced “Brian’s Song”. Once was in Cave Dwellers although I don’t remember it very well. The second reference, during Bride of the Monster, was more memorable. When Dr. Vornoff is winding up for his “I have no home” speech, Joel’s riff suggests that Vornoff’s sad because he just watched “Brian’s Song”: “And then Brian died, and he was such a good football player, and Gale Sayers was all alone in the world, and they had the same front room as ‘Bewitched’, and–”

    Warrior of the Lost World has a few good sports references. Aside from the Formula One material already mentioned, there are some amusing riffs during the interminable fighting scenes in the movie’s third act (“It’s curry powder wrestling!” “…and that concludes the first quarter of play.” &c.)

       0 likes

  41. Bobbert says:

    Mike screaming “PACKERS!!” when T silently screams something in Quest of the Delta Knights

       1 likes

  42. hollyhox says:

    Near the end of Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell, Servo says “What’s Gabby Sabitini doing here?”, referring to a woman in the crowd who looked like Argentinian tennis player Gabriela Sabitini.

    The ultimate sports moment in MST3K has to be when Robert Smith of the Vikings was given to Pearl on Lawgiver Daze.

       0 likes

  43. My 12 year old, after seeing this discussion topic, immediately said, “Larry Czonka from Final Sacrifice!” I’m so proud.

       0 likes

  44. Canucklehead says:

    #90 mononceros4

    The reference to Brian’s Song was during the opening credits for the movie, when the black and white heroes of that completely different movie are together.

       0 likes

  45. Kilroy says:

    From Skydivers:

    “George Herman Ruth on guitar.”

    And yes, that band member totally looked like The Babe.

       0 likes

  46. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    Of course I have to go with “Go Packers!” Specifically, when the giant spider is making human slaw out of the townsfolk, Bill lets out with a frightened and confused “sniff – Packers?” Who knew “Go Packers” could evoke such emotion?

       0 likes

  47. Oleo says:

    I don’t remember the episode anymore but wasn’t there one where upon seeing some kind of interociter like sci-fi machine they ask “can you get the Padres on this thing?”

       0 likes

  48. Steve Vil says:

    I’m not a fan of sports AT ALL. The funniest sports riff I can think of is in “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die” when the bereaved doctor cradles his dead fiance’s head and Mike says, “He’s at the twenty, the ten, nothing can stop him”.

    The worst is the non-stop references to Larry Czonka in “Final Sacrifice”. One of those situations where I didn’t have a clue who the guy was and they beat the riff into the ground.

       0 likes

  49. gorto says:

    Beast of Yucca Flats: ‘Jaworski, Ron Jaworski, played quarterback for the Eagles’ the obscurity fit in magnificently with the obscurity of the regular narration

       0 likes

  50. crowschmo says:

    Tug McGraw.

    And in Godzilla vs. Megalon when the two are fighting, J&TB start talking like they’re commentating a wrestling match.

       0 likes

Comments are closed.