Satellite News - Chat with Mike and Bill


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IRC Chat with Mike Nelson and Bill Corbett
(and surpise guests Kevin Murphy and Jim Mallon)
August 28, 1997

*** Moderator sets mode: +o Moderator
*** Moderator sets mode: +m
<Moderator> Well, isn't that better.
<Moderator> well, the room is now Moderated.
<Moderator> which means only I can talk.
<Moderator> first off, whoever was logged on as Moderator - boo! hiss!
<Moderator> don't do that.
<Moderator> ok, we're almost ready to start.
<Moderator> we've got suprise guests: Mike and Jim are both here.
<Moderator> oops, Kevin and Jim.
<Moderator> Mike and Bill are here too, as scheduled.
<Moderator> to ask a question, /msg Moderator

*** KevinMurphy ( has joined #auditorium

<Moderator> please note: anyone spamming the moderator will be silenced and/or kicked
<Moderator> without warning.

*** BillCorbett (user4@ has joined #auditorium

<Moderator> which means, don't send more than one questions every 2 minutes.

*** MikeNelson ( has joined #auditorium

<Moderator> it's hard to chose the best questions when everyone is zipping by.

*** Moderator sets mode: +v KevinMurphy
*** Moderator sets mode: +v MikeNelson

<KevinMurphy> Summer blockbuster special. Sept. 2, 6pm premiere. be there. aloha.

*** JimMallon ( has joined #auditorium
*** Moderator sets mode: +v BillCorbett
*** Moderator2 ( has joined #auditorium
*** Moderator2 sets mode: +o Moderator2

<KevinMurphy> hi mike.
<KevinMurphy> shout

*** Moderator sets mode: +v JimMallon

<JimMallon> Hi Kevin.

<KevinMurphy> shout

<MikeNelson> Kevin Murphy, his house, Sept. 2, be there.

<KevinMurphy> let it all out.

*** Moderator sets mode: +v Moderator

<KevinMurphy> these are the things

<BillCorbett> testing

<KevinMurphy> ican do without
<KevinMurphy> come on

<JimMallon> (jim) to (mike) "Hi Bill"

<Moderator> Bill, Mike, Jim, you should all be able to talk.

<KevinMurphy> i'm talking to you
<KevinMurphy> comeon.

<MikeNelson> I'd like to announce that i was just inducted into the Spice Girls. Let's give me a big hand.

<JimMallon> Are you talking to me?

<BillCorbett> I can talk! FREEEDDOM!

<Moderator> Ok, looks like we're ready to roll.

<JimMallon> Kevin, tell us about our special.

<BillCorbett> Mike will be known as the "Doughy Spice".

<MikeNelson> Let's doooo ittttttt!!!!

<KevinMurphy> yes, it is fun

<Moderator> Everyone want to say something to start out?

<JimMallon> Hello

<KevinMurphy> we review a bunch of summer films...

<BillCorbett> Good daym mayes.

<JimMallon> Really...

<MikeNelson> I'd like to remind people not to eat refrozen ice cream!

<KevinMurphy> Hello, and buy real mayonnaise

<JimMallon> How many of your are using Macs?

<BillCorbett> Buy our line of MST #K fine mayonaisses!

<KevinMurphy> notme

<Moderator> we'll start with some questions in a sec

<KevinMurphy> okay.

<JimMallon> un huh...and IBM's?

<KevinMurphy> toledo you are on the air

<MikeNelson> Try my jams and Jellies.

<Moderator> <Rynn> to <Moderator>: Hey, everyone, I wanted to know if any of you were happy with the way the behind the sceens special that just aired? (I liked the camcorder bits.)

<BillCorbett> Will someone get Larry King outa here? He's bugging me.

<KevinMurphy> It makes me very self-conscious

<MikeNelson> We're here promoting GI Jane.

<KevinMurphy> i cried.

<JimMallon> Lisa, is the water warm enough?

<KevinMurphy> mike has a big face

<JimMallon> Let us begin.

<BillCorbett> I think it exposed us for the common street thugs we are.

<KevinMurphy> yes wendy

<Moderator> [/msg Moderator with questions]

<MikeNelson> I was happy with the way i looked like a complete IDIOT!

<BillCorbett> WENDY! GO!

<Moderator> [spam moderator and you'll be kicked off the server]

<JimMallon> Someone has the name Pertubance.

<KevinMurphy> that's a warning, spammers

<Moderator> <MrDuffy> to <Moderator>: Any details on up and coming episodes.. especially 819 and beyond?

<JimMallon> [eat spam]

<KevinMurphy> 819=Neptune men

<Moderator> [don't ask anything covered in the FAQ]

<KevinMurphy> really bad

<BillCorbett> Mike will be replaced as host by T.V.'s perrenial goofy neighbor Bill Daly.

<MikeNelson> We are doing old episodes of We Got It Maid.

<Moderator> <Gypsy> to <Moderator>: Jim, why did you decide to quit playing Gypsy?

<JimMallon> Look for special reviews of the Dukes of hazard!
<JimMallon> Oh, boy, Kevin tell em.

<KevinMurphy> he's working on his golf swing.
<KevinMurphy> right?

<BillCorbett> He didn't pass his license renewal exam.

<MikeNelson> I think i can speak for Jim when I say that he is moving on to a role on Men Behaving Badly.

<JimMallon> Bill's got it.

<KevinMurphy> jim is the new rob schnieder

<JimMallon> Actually, Patrick does her so much better.

<BillCorbett> Men? Behaving Badly? No way!

<KevinMurphy> no, honey

<Moderator> <Metalunna> to <Moderator>: I would like to know what part of Brooklyn Bill is from and if he was in a gang

<JimMallon> [eat a sandwhich, talk to a goat]

<BillCorbett> Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, home of Saturday Night FEver.

<KevinMurphy> bill=mob

<Moderator> <MrCrowT> to <Moderator>: 816 ended without Bobo. Is he gone?

<KevinMurphy> bill=thug

<BillCorbett> And I was my own gang of one, I'd like to think.

<MikeNelson> Bill = made man.

<KevinMurphy> Bobo is never gone.
<KevinMurphy> bobo is real gone, dig?

<BillCorbett> Bobo is currently being sahved. It takes a number of weeks, you see.

<MikeNelson> Bobo will continue to spread his odor throughout the universe.

<KevinMurphy> look for bobo on "apes Behaving badly"

<BillCorbett> Shaved.

<Moderator> <BobShrimp> to <Moderator>: Hey Mike you're puppet's face wasn't big enough! What's the deal?

<KevinMurphy> I'm a shrimp eater.

<BillCorbett> Bob, are you a shrimp eater like me?

<MikeNelson> I believe you made a reference to my big face. SHAME ON YOU SIR!!

<BillCorbett> Whne jokes collide.

<Moderator> <CollinCannaday> to <Moderator>: Question for Jim(and anyone else interested) Do you have any advise on how to start my own homebrewed TV show?

<JimMallon> By the way, the building we are in is on fire right now.


<KevinMurphy> good malt and hops.

<JimMallon> [smell smoke, run for exit]

<KevinMurphy> persistence
<KevinMurphy> persistence
<KevinMurphy> persistence

<BillCorbett> You have to befriend the right puppets.

<JimMallon> A large 20 galllon container, some yeast and sugar.

<Moderator> <Kaneda> to <Moderator>: Are there going to be MST3K:The Action Figures?

<MikeNelson> Hire Gary Coleman. Buy coke by the bucket. The rest writes itself.

<JimMallon> Use puppets.

<BillCorbett> Oh, now Kevin's gonna give us that old "99% perspiration" number he thought up.

<KevinMurphy> the rest is sweat

<MikeNelson> There's is going to be a Big Face Mike doll that you make out of a baked ham and add features.

<JimMallon> [lean back in chair, swivel]

<BillCorbett> There will be one of me that is fully seatable and occasionally falls asleep, when not demanding more chicken drummies.

<JimMallon> [yawn, remember bills that need to be paid]

<Moderator> <DanHarkless> to <Moderator>: Ortega seems to be making a lot of appearances on the show. Is he the new Torgo? Hmmm... ORTeGa? TORGo?? Coincidence!?

<MikeNelson> Bill, are you okay?

<KevinMurphy> [dream]
<KevinMurphy> do do do do do do do...

<BillCorbett> [yawning, remembering Jim's bills to be paid.]

<KevinMurphy> do do do do do do do...

<MikeNelson> Ortega is not nearly as smelly as Torgo, not nearly as much of a probably predator of some kind.

<KevinMurphy> do do do do do do do...
<KevinMurphy> do do do do do do do ...

<JimMallon> [tell Kevin to put his shirt back on]

<Moderator> <Hello3000> to <Moderator>: What ever happened to the commercial sign?

<MikeNelson> that's "probable". he he he. sorry.

<KevinMurphy> no
<KevinMurphy> it is silent now.

<BillCorbett> Ortega: a sociopath, yes, but he makes a fine salsa.

<KevinMurphy> it's digital
<KevinMurphy> it's wireless

<Moderator> <Q> to <Moderator>: Jim: now that you're not operating Gypsy any more, is there any chance one of your other characters might pop up (Monad)? :)

<JimMallon> It moved to LA

<KevinMurphy> invisible fence

<MikeNelson> Commercial sign is the sole property of the Disney Corporation.

<KevinMurphy> Jim will play Robin Williams

<JimMallon> My white slaver?
<JimMallon> Monad?

<KevinMurphy> JIm, don't slaver.

<Moderator> <Annakie> to <Moderator>: Which of the "big summer blockbusters" did you like? Which ones do you think were worthy of your show?

<JimMallon> Charles Barkley

<KevinMurphy> MIB, a little

<BillCorbett> MIKE, GET OFF MY WEBSITE! SHAME ON YOU, SIR! GIVE ME BACK MY SON! (and other outraged movie act 3 phrases....Try your own! It's fun!)

<JimMallon> It is too quiet in this room.

<KevinMurphy> Annakie!
<KevinMurphy> [pick nose]

<BillCorbett> (Say in Ah-noald's beefy Austrain accent:) Bahtimn und Roban.

<MikeNelson> I really liked the unsavory elements of the monstrously evil Batman and Robin. Can we please euthanize Arnold?

<JimMallon> [Listen to sound of one hand typing]

<KevinMurphy> [flick booger]

<Moderator> <MuadDib> to <Moderator>: SciFi has shown movies you've also done on the show. Will you get to rip on any of the SciFi Channel's Original Movies?

<KevinMurphy> Arrakis. Dune. Desert planet...

<BillCorbett> Line 'em up.

<JimMallon> After we lose our jobs.

<MikeNelson> Sci Fi has never made a movie that isn't less than brilliant. GET OFF MY CHAT, SIR!

<Moderator> <agentj> to <Moderator>: Bill: previous puppeteer Trace Beaulieu had mentioned he shared a rather deep, codependant, scaring relationship with Crow. Have you found your relationship with the 'bot to be much the same?

<BillCorbett> Yeah!...what he said.

<JimMallon> Bill and Crow went dancing last night.

<KevinMurphy> He sleeps with him, if that's what you're after.

<BillCorbett> Yes! He now controls my every thought, and that is good.

<MikeNelson> Bill does unspeakable things with Crow. Dark things. Things only to be whispered about.

<KevinMurphy> like painting.

<Moderator> <Qborg> to <Moderator>: You guys know you can do third person stuff by typing /me <text> don't you?

<BillCorbett> Crow is sooooo romantic!

* KevinMurphy pondering

<JimMallon> [confused]

* MikeNelson text

* KevinMurphy saying hmmm.

<Moderator> <invincor> to <Moderator>: Will there be any more location shoots like in 816? (and please say you're coming to UWRF to reenact a scene from Mike's shameful past)

* MikeNelson beating the bejesus out of bill

<KevinMurphy> We go to Vegas next week. we'll be at the Sahara.

<BillCorbett> Ow! Mike's hurting me again! MEDIC!

<KevinMurphy> ;)


<Moderator> <CollinCannaday> to <Moderator>: Will the SOL survive the Borg attack in the big season finale cliff-hanger? What about Turkey Day?

<KevinMurphy> Yes, and I do not know.

<JimMallon> [wondering what cheese goes best with ham]


<BillCorbett> The dark shame of Mike's past will soon be put forth for the world to see. Be very afraid.

<KevinMurphy> This just in...

<Moderator> <MST3kCommander> to <Moderator>: How would you Guys Describe or Sum Up Season 8 and Being on The Sci-Fi Channel for The First Time?

* MikeNelson telling jim the best kind of goat cheese with ham

<BillCorbett> You're way ahead of us.

<KevinMurphy> There will be a turkey day of sorts.

<JimMallon> Best year of our lives!!

<BillCorbett> All I know that Mike wakes up with Emily and finds out it's all a dream.

<KevinMurphy> Fun, imaginative, challenging.

<JimMallon> Sci-Fi rules!

<KevinMurphy> French.

<Moderator> <bowleg> to <Moderator>: Will those shorts planned for the CDROM ever see the blinding light of day?

<KevinMurphy> chocolatey.

<MikeNelson> The Sci Fi channel is so much better than )(*)^*% CHANNEL WE WERE ON BEFORE!! WHAT THE (*(&^ IS THEIR DEAL?

<BillCorbett> Is that question translated from the German?

<JimMallon> :Yes
<JimMallon> No
<JimMallon> Maybe
<JimMallon> huh?

<KevinMurphy> re CDROM shorts: who knows

* MikeNelson saying "no"

<Moderator> <Hovergirl> to <Moderator>: Do you guys realize how much most of us miss the shorts? Do you care? Please, please bring them back.

<BillCorbett> Jim "Decisive" Mallon.

* JimMallon huh

<BillCorbett> You miss my shorts? Freaky.

<MikeNelson> You can look at my shorts anytime. They are on display in the lobby.

<KevinMurphy> We are looking at shorts

<JimMallon> We haven't got the shorts back fromt the cleaners yet.

<KevinMurphy> keep your fingers crossed

* KevinMurphy crossing fingers

* MikeNelson shooting heroin into his eyes.

<KevinMurphy> Mike NO!

<JimMallon> That's the short answer, get it short...

<BillCorbett> Heh heh...shorts. Get it? Heh heh...

* MikeNelson saying What!?

* KevinMurphy pummeling Jim and Mike

<JimMallon> Mike no!

* JimMallon agahst

<Moderator> <IGLW> to <Moderator>: Do you guys ever get worried that creepy fans take the loss of the shorts and changes in other aspects of the show as a personal affront worthy of violent retaliation?

* MikeNelson talking to Jim J. Bullock.

* BillCorbett Bill throwing Larry King out of the building.

<KevinMurphy> Get yer own damn show.

* MikeNelson calling FBI

<JimMallon> Ah....
<JimMallon> No.

<MikeNelson> GET OFF MY BACK!

<JimMallon> The fans are the best!

* KevinMurphy getting my own damn show

<Moderator> <BuckFifty> to <Moderator>: Any plans for another televised Home Game?

<JimMallon> Specially the one's without guns.

* MikeNelson sending cheese gift pack to Wilson Phillips.

<KevinMurphy> Folks sure loved it, it was fun to watch.

<BillCorbett> Not at all! I do feel repsonsible for everyone's personal happiness. As a puppet show writer, I think it's a civic and moral responsibility.

<KevinMurphy> Sci-Fi liked it too.

<Moderator> <MrCrowT> to <Moderator>: Any hopes of hearing magic voice again this season or seeing fan mail?

<JimMallon> What are you saying Bill?

<KevinMurphy> Yes!

* MikeNelson Taking a master fluegelhorn class.

<KevinMurphy> Yes to Magic voice.

<BillCorbett> Sorry, I had another little episode.

<JimMallon> Oh.

<MikeNelson> No to magic voice

<Moderator> <IanMalcolm> to <Moderator>: Is there any chance of you doing newer movies, or maybe getting the rights to do Star wars?

* KevinMurphy saving S&H green stamps


<JimMallon> Watson come here, I need you!

* BillCorbett finally "finding myself" after years of doubt.

<KevinMurphy> We'd love to do newer movies

<JimMallon> Oh, yes, we are soo close to getting the rights to Star Wars,

<KevinMurphy> Battle star gallactica or i kill myself./

* KevinMurphy killing himself

<Moderator> <CAT1421> to <Moderator>: Hiya all!! Bill just wondering if you could tell us about your play The Big Slam. I'm seeing it this weekend with some friends.

* MikeNelson laughing inappropriately and belittling an intern.

<BillCorbett> Just a hair away from TOTAL CLEARANCE OF ALL SPILEBERG'S WORKS!

<JimMallon> Spileberg????

<BillCorbett> Enjoy! I'ts the story of a very cute koala bear.

* KevinMurphy trying to grab bill's glory

<MikeNelson> It stars William Shatner and Larry Wilcox.

<JimMallon> [left cake in oven]

* MikeNelson leaving cake out in rain.

<Moderator> <bowleg> to <Moderator>: Any chance we'll see some more made4tv schlock? 6 Million dollar man? Not-very-incredible-Hulk?

<BillCorbett> (Thank you for your support, by the way.)

* KevinMurphy switching to Enfamil

<JimMallon> Just to let everyone know, muse has left the auditorium.

<BillCorbett> Yes!

<MikeNelson> The Credible Hulk. A very sensible large man with green hair.

<JimMallon> so has Kaneda.

<KevinMurphy> We're lobbying for Hulk.

<BillCorbett> The poor late Raul Julia was trapped in a very bad movie we may do.
<BillCorbett> Very TV in its look.

<JimMallon> There goes elmo, but Nightstal just joined!

<Moderator> <Ro-Man> to <Moderator>: Could you clear up the whole "time differential" thing in Prine of Space? It's still leaving me confused...


<BillCorbett> John Prine of Space!

<KevinMurphy> It baffles me, personally

<JimMallon> Not ready for Prine time!

* KevinMurphy being personallly baffled

<MikeNelson> Space is like a big hair green wilson dog face banana. Does that clear it up?

<JimMallon> [speculate on how baffled Kevin is]

<Moderator> <JaneMolly> to <Moderator>: would you guys ever consider heckling the WWW, as part of the show?

<BillCorbett> It was carefully thought out, intricately constructed ploy work, but it was over our heads.

<KevinMurphy> You mean Wrestling?

* MikeNelson delivering Pizza to a flop house.

<KevinMurphy> no, that's WOW

<BillCorbett> Wally's Weiner World?

<KevinMurphy> or WFW
<KevinMurphy> or is it VFW?

<Moderator> <Bullseye> to <Moderator>: Mike, what was it like being in the directors chair?

* BillCorbett bringing peace to Bosnia.

<KevinMurphy> He broke it

<JimMallon> It was kinda hot and hurt and stuff,.

<BillCorbett> Mike "Felliini" Nelson, you mean?

* KevinMurphy saving big money at Menard's

<MikeNelson> It's incredibly easy. Everyone else does the work and you get the credit. Well, not you, me actually.

<KevinMurphy> Hey!

<JimMallon> Hey!

<MikeNelson> Hey!

<BillCorbett> Hey!

<KevinMurphy> We're a doowop group[

<BillCorbett> (and like that...)

<Moderator> <TVsRemote> to <Moderator>: Do you actually read the fan mail, or do you just look for the gifts?

<JimMallon> [rebooting to DOS]

* MikeNelson agreeing that with a name like Smuker's it has to be good.

<KevinMurphy> We read bunches of it.

<BillCorbett> Mike was a very good director, depsite being a repugnant human being...oopps!

<MikeNelson> I read only the stuff that slams Kevin.

<JimMallon> Barb reads every last one.

<KevinMurphy> I love the kids' letters

* KevinMurphy reading Mike's hate mail

<JimMallon> [remembering that Kevin can't read]

<MikeNelson> What's a kid's letter, like "g" or "y"?

<Moderator> <Wile> to <Moderator>: Mike, did you like being briefly a puppeteer for Prince of Space?

<KevinMurphy> boy, did he suck, eh?

<JimMallon> [remembering what a liar Kevin is]

<MikeNelson> What a joke! All puppeteers are such whiny *&^$, don't you think. They are total (*&$%$ holes!!

<BillCorbett> We actually hired funnyman Charlie Callas to come in and that the puppeteeering.

<Moderator> <MSTDABEST> to <Moderator>: What do you all know about the MST comic book

* KevinMurphy buying into Magellan at the last minute

* MikeNelson reading Smilla's Sense of Snow.

<JimMallon> [hoping fans will ask about our special next tuesday]

* BillCorbett realizing Mike is right, that he is a wihny *&%#$.

<KevinMurphy> YES! it should be fun

<JimMallon> [really upset that fans haven't ask about special, thinking about yelling at fans]

<BillCorbett> The MST Medical dictionary should be out soon too.

* MikeNelson drinking turpentine and cutting of his ear.

<Moderator> <invincor> to <Moderator>: Will Bridget or Mary Jo or Paul or Bill direct? WE ARE NOT ALONE!

<KevinMurphy> If they pay me enough

<BillCorbett> Jim is now yelling at US instead! Pleasew help!

<MikeNelson> Bill will direct Mary Jo to the rest room.

<BillCorbett> I am gonna direct the HELL out of this show someday.

<JimMallon> [remembering all the legal work left to do on comic book deal]

<KevinMurphy> for answer, look to future.

<MikeNelson> Bill, Paul and Mary Jo will be in their trailor's.

<Moderator> <Naif> to <Moderator>: What's this special we have heard so little about?

<JimMallon> [remembering that I forgot to tell Mike, Bill, and Kevin about comic book deal]

<KevinMurphy> Glad you asked, Naif!

* BillCorbett thinking of gorgonzola cheese.

<Moderator> <travln> to <Moderator>: SO ABOUT THE SPECIAL? WILL WE FINALLY SEE SERVO NAKED? :)
<Moderator> <Mitchel> to <Moderator>: What movies are you goung to critique in the special?
<Moderator> <DomProblems> to <Moderator>: okay okay Jim whats the special on Tuesday
<Moderator> <TomServo> to <Moderator>: I'm asking about the special to calm Jim down.
<Moderator> <Rynn> to <Moderator>: Can you please tell us about your specia that airs on Tuesay, September 2?

* MikeNelson plugging cool special on August 2nd at 6:30 PM

<KevinMurphy> We will be having fun with the summer blockbusters

<JimMallon> Good question!

<MikeNelson> George Clooney is big untalented...

<KevinMurphy> we take on MIB...
<KevinMurphy> Contact...
<KevinMurphy> Batman & Dummy...
<KevinMurphy> Fifth Element...

* MikeNelson getting hit by all women in the room for insulting George Clooney.

<JimMallon> Speilberg get's his first criticism since grade school.

<KevinMurphy> you'll get a rare glimpose inside the theater!!!

<Moderator><ElemWiz> to <Moderator>: Will there ever be a MST3K Marathon? =)

<KevinMurphy> ...that's "glimpse"

<BillCorbett> And that piece of hot air, Citizen Kane!

<JimMallon> Yes, how about 15k.

<KevinMurphy> re MST MARATHOn: we need more shows.

<JimMallon> [thinking about how I make myself laugh]

<BillCorbett> Yes, Miuke will personally be serving Gatorade and applying Vaseline to the runners.

* MikeNelson liking the Sprite in you.

<JimMallon> Where are you all from?

<Moderator> <Hello3000> to <Moderator>: What do you guys think of the show "South Park" on cc? =)

<KevinMurphy> Haven't seen it yet.

<JimMallon> Oh, boy.

<KevinMurphy> I'd like to though.

<MikeNelson> I haven't seen it, though I do like Mariel Hemingway.

<KevinMurphy> sounds strange, savage and hateful

<JimMallon> The latest production from the Dark Prince...

<KevinMurphy> i mean fun

<BillCorbett> Is that the show about the nun, the cowboy, and the bonobo chimp?

<Moderator> <VirtuaPlia> to <Moderator>: I am antsy about the special. MSTies are opinionated people, and this is the first time you've ever done movies that people have liked. Aren't you worried that you might lose fans if you knock them too hard?

<JimMallon> Well you know it from CC so it must be good!

* MikeNelson feeling lots of Welzschmertz.

<KevinMurphy> We takes our chances, my friend.

* BillCorbett realizng we've made a grave mistake. Crying.

* KevinMurphy misspelling weldschmurtz

<MikeNelson> There isn't a single movie we make fun of that doesn't deserve it.

<JimMallon> Are fans are like rubber, they'll bounce back!

<BillCorbett> does anyone really want to defend Batman & Robin? If so, Kevin wants a piece of you.

<Moderator> <Slurpie> to <Moderator>: Mike- will Cambot appear on the show anywhere other than the opening

<JimMallon> New movies can be bad sometimes.
<JimMallon> Why is he asking Mike?

<MikeNelson> I don't think so, because we've broken all the mirrors on the SOL.

<KevinMurphy> Cambot appears as Roddy Mac Dowell in show 925

<JimMallon> [thinking Mike is getting far to powerful]

* MikeNelson crushing Jim Mallon like verminous bug.

<Moderator> <ShinyHead> to <Moderator>: so what do you think of your huge popularity of late?

<BillCorbett> It will be revealed that Cambot IS Mike.

<MikeNelson> It gives me a ShinyHead.

<JimMallon> [thinking there might be another escape pod on SOL]

<KevinMurphy> I am getting a real biig head about it.

<BillCorbett> Hate it! Much more enjoy being loathed.

<KevinMurphy> I talk to noone but my lawyer

* MikeNelson loathing bill, who enjoys it.

* BillCorbett thinking fondly of being hated.

<Moderator> <Magenta19> to <Moderator>: Since there isn't going to be an MST3K ConventioCon any time soon, would it be alright if 3,000 of us got together in a hotel room and partied down?

* KevinMurphy drooling

* JimMallon thinking where is the food Sci-Fi promised?

<MikeNelson> Are you in the Navy?

<BillCorbett> Yes! I'll bring the Toastadas and dip!

<KevinMurphy> We'll call it MST TAILHOOK

<MikeNelson> Just be careful, if you know what i mean. Huh? huh?

<Moderator> <TVsRemote> to <Moderator>: What did you think of your full color article in TV Guide?

<KevinMurphy> It was neat

* BillCorbett noticinig that Kevin is, as always, drooling.

<MikeNelson> I have a really stupid head.

<JimMallon> It's fun when it is fun!

* KevinMurphy quickly reading TV Guide

<MikeNelson> They interviewed us for 9 days for that thing.

<BillCorbett> Depsite Mike's extraordinarily stupid head, a nice article.

* KevinMurphy changing drool cups

* MikeNelson drinking second hand drool.

<Moderator> <Hol> to <Moderator>: Kevin, does Servo enjoy his outings, like appearences on Talk Soup?

<JimMallon> Halftime!

* KevinMurphy wiping spittle from pants and floor

<JimMallon> Was he outed?

<BillCorbett> Ha! Mike has a stupid head! Ha ha! That is RICH!

<KevinMurphy> Servo is a man about town, ain't he?

* MikeNelson enjoying trendy Redrum heroin.

<JimMallon> Mike!!!!
<JimMallon> There are kids here!!!!

<MikeNelson> What!!!

<KevinMurphy> it's not trendy anymore!

<BillCorbett> Servo will soon guesat host "when Animals Attack 3: The Next Day."

<JimMallon> [feeling so sad for Mike]

* MikeNelson suggesting to kids that they do lots of heroin, then retracting it.

<Moderator> <DSV4600> to <Moderator>: Have any of you read any of the MST3K Fan Fiction on the net? If you have, what did you think of it?

<JimMallon> The better question is what our lawyer thinks of it.

<KevinMurphy> We must stay away by law. lawsuits and the like, you know...

<MikeNelson> I have a Lisa computer, so i'm not on-line.

* BillCorbett buying a nice new shirt.

<KevinMurphy> I have a Jaguar

<Moderator> <Celestia> to <Moderator>: Do you guys ever go online and look at Caption This?

<JimMallon> [wondering about pooh on Kevin's shirt]

<BillCorbett> I don't get the Net on my typewriter.

<MikeNelson> no.

<KevinMurphy> Yes, some of you folks are damn funny
<KevinMurphy> JIM NO!!!

<BillCorbett> P-O-O-H? As in Winnie the?

* MikeNelson wondering why Jim is so fascinated with Kevin's refuse.

<Moderator> <invincor> to <Moderator>: What was the stupidest idea anyone had for the retooling at the start of this season?

<KevinMurphy> The Caption this is the nmost hit site on the DOminion, you know...

<JimMallon> Any idea from Bill.

<BillCorbett> Filmimn the entire show underwater.

<JimMallon> MST on Ice.

<KevinMurphy> We were all to be Hasidic Jews
<KevinMurphy> I liked it

<BillCorbett> Mike, nude, all the time.

<MikeNelson> We could fill a book with stupid ideas we've thrown out. Most of them we film

<KevinMurphy> YES!

<JimMallon> YES!!

<Moderator> <JanInAPan> to <Moderator>: Can you guys ever sit and WATCH a movie without a msting thought entering your minds??

* MikeNelson nudyfying himself.

<KevinMurphy> When I pay for a movie, I shut up and watch

<JimMallon> [wondering if battery will hold through chat]

<BillCorbett> I enjoyed this summer's "Gone Fishin'".

<MikeNelson> If the movie is good, and it's not, i'm quiet.

<KevinMurphy> More Mike Leigh!

<Moderator> <gemi> to <Moderator>: can you guys legaly use torgo again?

* MikeNelson enjoying FREEEDOMMM!!

<BillCorbett> Mike? Um, would you please get off my plane? As a personal favor? Thanks in advnace.

<JimMallon> [I liked George of the Jungle.

<KevinMurphy> Torgo got a sharp agent and wants big moola\

<MikeNelson> Yes, we can legally "use" him, if you know what i'm saying.

<KevinMurphy> MIKE! NO!

<JimMallon> Mike!

<Moderator> <flint> to <Moderator>: Will Mike's problem of doing nude heroin affect the show?

<MikeNelson> WHAT?1

<BillCorbett> Torgo -- was he the flying wombat in season three?

<KevinMurphy> Never has.

<JimMallon> Oh, dear god....

<MikeNelson> Trendy Redrum heroin, please.

<JimMallon> MIKE!!!!

<KevinMurphy> it's not trendy anymore, mike.

<BillCorbett> Big bowls of NUDE HEROIN. That's our Mike!!

<Moderator> <MrDuffy> to <Moderator>: Mike, I'd just like to take the opportunity to say that you scared me with the "Spanish Children's Show:" from Clonus... Please tell me Kevin spiked your drink before the shoot ;)

* MikeNelson stripping the heroin.

<KevinMurphy> I think he meant "herione nude", but let's move on

<JimMallon> That was disturbing.

<KevinMurphy> I loved it

<BillCorbett> It was terrifying, wasn't it?
<BillCorbett> I'm still in therapy.

<MikeNelson> I have a family, ladies and gentlemen. A warm, loving family. or at least i did.

<Moderator> <CornjobFa> to <Moderator>: Any Godzilla movies in the future? I see them on Sci-Fi all the time.

<KevinMurphy> Mike does appear nude in "horror at Party Beach" watch for it
<KevinMurphy> Godzilla?! where!

* BillCorbett sadly realizing that Mike's family left him after the Spanish children's show nightmare.


<MikeNelson> We're doing Godzilla Vs. Dag Hammerskjold.
<MikeNelson> No, no Godzilla's right now.

<Moderator> <ronaldb> to <Moderator>: Do you realize that even as we chat, we're all heckling your chat, like you heckle all those movies?

<JimMallon> [packet left too early will get docked]

<BillCorbett> so many layers!

<KevinMurphy> Give me back my chat!

* MikeNelson really hurt by heckling comment.

<BillCorbett> I am scared of modern world!

<JimMallon> Come on! We can dish it out and take it!

* MikeNelson firing entire staff.

<KevinMurphy> I'm Jeckylling the chat myself

<MikeNelson> Kevin, you're fired.

<JimMallon> [thinking how deluded Mike is that he can fire anyone]

<KevinMurphy> Heckle and Jeckyl, that is

<Moderator> <DAnder6321> to <Moderator>: why did you guys decide to do the "planet of the apes" thing instead of, say, they get back to present day and Pearl sends him the movies anyway, or just have someone else play Dr. F?

<KevinMurphy> ...heh/...heh...

* BillCorbett rehiring entire staff, firing Mike and having him brought up , finally, on charges.

<JimMallon> Nol.
<JimMallon> No.

* MikeNelson patiently explaing how his contract let's him fire people.

<KevinMurphy> We have a lot of fiction to pour through, so wait and see what we do next

<Moderator> <Blaine> to <Moderator>: Amazingly enough, really bad movies are sometimes scarce. Do you ever have trouble finding the "right" movie to razz?

<KevinMurphy> This was more fun.
<KevinMurphy> making fun of SF cliches is a blast

<BillCorbett> As I recall (and I was merely a freshman at the time) we thought of every singly option, inclufding losing thew beloved Crow.

<KevinMurphy> Sometinmes a good bad movie is hard to find, yes.

<Moderator> <DomProblems> to <Moderator>: Hey I know you all play about 30 characters including mikes beautiful wife... so how many people are actually on the whole MST3000 team?

<MikeNelson> Thanks to Joel Shumaker, we'll always have bad

<JimMallon> Hey, Kevin, punch Bill for me willl you?

* KevinMurphy punching bill

<KevinMurphy> I think it's 14 right now.

* MikeNelson wiping up bill's blood.

<KevinMurphy> we're like a family

<BillCorbett> One. Only Paul, who does all the characters and plays us all in real life.

<KevinMurphy> a dysfunctional family, granted...

<JimMallon> Wait, after Mike's firings we are down a bit...

* BillCorbett noticing that he's been hit.

* MikeNelson Slamming a Stack of Pringles

* KevinMurphy cracking a slam can

* BillCorbett using his Wide-Mouth Slam Can.

<BillCorbett> doh!

* MikeNelson doing extreme street luging.

* KevinMurphy feeding the rush

<JimMallon> [still wodering where the snacks are]
<JimMallon> [thinking of composing a memo to Karen Reynolds]

* KevinMurphy finding more damn cowboys

<Moderator> <LeeShack> to <Moderator>: Serious question, mostly for Mike: does "Head Writer" mean you have final approval on every line in each script?

<JimMallon> [laughing]

<KevinMurphy> Mike wrote the Monkee's "Head"

<BillCorbett> He thinks it does, please don't disabuse him of this sad notion.


<JimMallon> [laughing harder]

<MikeNelson> Technically, though it's pretty democratic.

* KevinMurphy choked with laughter

* BillCorbett crying and laughing alternately.

* KevinMurphy flipping off Mike

* MikeNelson is sadly disillusioned.

<JimMallon> Kevin NOOO!

<BillCorbett> It's an enlightened despotism.

<KevinMurphy> what!?

<Moderator> <DataJoe> to <Moderator>: Do you guys understand what the hell those SFC "Ever wonder?" commercials are about?

<KevinMurphy> Yes.

<BillCorbett> I've never wondered, myslef.

<JimMallon> No, they are great!

<MikeNelson> I'm still trying to find the cowboys.

<JimMallon> Sci-Fi rules!

<BillCorbett> Mike, they were just here!...You missed them, they were asking for you.

* KevinMurphy watching Jim suck up

<JimMallon> [thinking of sending memo to Kevin]

* MikeNelson falling in love with Sarah McLaghlin.

<BillCorbett> Jim "Knows Where His bRead is Buttered" Mallon.

* KevinMurphy fighting mike for Sarah's hand

* BillCorbett hosing down the two losers.

<Moderator> <BuckFifty> to <Moderator>: Any hopes of seeing a MST3K reunion show with Trace, Frank, Joel and Josh?

* KevinMurphy challenging mike to a duel

* MikeNelson scoring with her before Kevin knows what hit him.

<JimMallon> [sending out for snacks on his own nickel.

<KevinMurphy> That would be a blast.

<MikeNelson> We actually would love to do that. let's you guys.

<KevinMurphy> Okay, Mike.

<JimMallon> Ok, Cool!

<BillCorbett> I'd love it!...If I could please keep my job when they went back to LA? Please?

<KevinMurphy> I thought of it first

<JimMallon> [thinking of budget]

* MikeNelson slamming way too many stacks now.

* KevinMurphy playng bad rythym on Pringles cans

* MikeNelson not reassuring Bill of position.

* BillCorbett craftily stealing and then slamming one of Mike's stacks.

<JimMallon> [wondering why Mac keyboards are so hard to type on]

<Moderator> <highheels> to <Moderator>: Have you ever thought of having a Special Guest Star on the SOL. Surely some well-known actors would like to make an appearance on your show.

<KevinMurphy> Yes we have. thanks for asking.
<KevinMurphy> We're scanning the starways

<MikeNelson> We would love to have on some critics, like your Siskel's and your Ebert's or just a good Joe Don Baker.

<KevinMurphy> we just heard George Clooney is a big fan

<JimMallon> [thinking about clams]

<Moderator> <JanInAPan> to <Moderator>: Kevin and Bill...what do you sit on in the theaters when you hold the puppets?? (aside from your asses of course. :)

* MikeNelson getting a bad hot dog.

<BillCorbett> I sit on a stack of Pringle's.

<KevinMurphy> Comfy little waistoid TV chairs

<Moderator> <Zaphod42> to <Moderator>: Are the nanites returning?

<KevinMurphy> you know the ones that rock?

<BillCorbett> and sir, I have no ass! Shame on YOU, sir!

* MikeNelson wondering if she can say "ass"

<KevinMurphy> Nanites will return!
<KevinMurphy> Mike! NO!

<BillCorbett> The nannites will definitely be back. We like them.

<MikeNelson> Nanites are going to be back with a bullet.

<Moderator> <JohnAgar> to <Moderator>: Mike, On "The Making of MST3K" you said you'd like to stay on the show until computer generated dinosaurs are $25. Does that mean if they are ever $26 you'll still stay on?

<KevinMurphy> Don't quibble

<MikeNelson> Look, sit down for a second. Good.

<BillCorbett> Good question. Fax it to our HUGE team of lawyers.

<KevinMurphy> don't sass your puppet show.

* MikeNelson slapping guy for question

<Moderator> <Mitchel> to <Moderator>: Are you guys aloud to use any of the popular catch phrases you used on that "other" channel, ie: "watch out for snakes" and "Mitchel"

* BillCorbett getting hit by Mike instead. (Again!)

* MikeNelson answering question with "yes"

<KevinMurphy> We can do that, but we'd like to make up new ones.
<KevinMurphy> a few suggestions...

<Moderator> <nicklby> to <Moderator>: OK, guys, here's your big chance to suck up: What's the best part of being on the Sci-Fi Channel

<KevinMurphy> "that's my cheek"
<KevinMurphy> Don't spill!"

<MikeNelson> Here's a new catch phrase. "sit down, Jocko!"

<KevinMurphy> "you gonna reat that?"

<BillCorbett> I used the phrase "Liver Snaps, dogs love 'em!" that was so beloved in shows past.

<JimMallon> Moderator:<Mr. Pennybags>to<Kevin.: What was that poop on your shirt this morning?

<MikeNelson> "When do the steaks come?"

<KevinMurphy> "Look at that pill!"

<Moderator> <bowleg> to <Moderator>: Were there any "lost episodes"? Movies that were worked on, but the rights fell through at the last minute? What happened with "Charro"?

<BillCorbett> "My toes hurt again!"

<KevinMurphy> It wasn't poop, it was rust, and get out of my life.

<JimMallon> It's those darn lawyers.

<MikeNelson> Assignment Venezuala is a lost short, that's actually pretty long.

<BillCorbett> She married Xavier Cugat and lived happily ever after. Tahnk you!

<KevinMurphy> Charro is just as you describne.
<KevinMurphy> and there are others.
<KevinMurphy> boo hoo

<Moderator> <VirtuaPlia> to <Moderator>: The Sci-Fi Channel has played Star Trek V: The Final Frontier several times. Why don't you guys put in a request to do that film? It's got all the right elements, plus you get to knock Shatner!

<JimMallon> [paying delivery man for snacks]

* KevinMurphy dooling over Star trek 5

<Moderator> (Please ask your final questions now)

<MikeNelson> Shatner might use his two handed back smash on me.

<BillCorbett> I know Wm. Shatner, sir, and you're no Wm. Shatner! Your wig is maller!

<BillCorbett> sma;;er

<KevinMurphy> maller?

* JimMallon droooling over Star Trek 5

<BillCorbett> svletdier

<KevinMurphy> sma;;er?

* MikeNelson wondering why jim has to drool so much

* KevinMurphy drooling over Jim

<BillCorbett> Smaller. heh heh...

* KevinMurphy changing Jim's drool bucket

* MikeNelson enjoying a fond memory of his time in the halfway house.

<Moderator> <KevinF> to <Moderator>: Will you guys ever guest star on Space Goast: Coast to Coast?

<BillCorbett> Moratorium on drool talk for oh say, five minutes? Whhataya say, pals?

* KevinMurphy thinking about juice

<MikeNelson> Kevin Murphy and I were on Space Ghost, sir!

<JimMallon> [drooling]

<Moderator> <ACiDFiSh> to <Moderator>: How long is your special this tuesday, which is scheduled a few days from my birthday?

<BillCorbett> We will be hosting the Kennedy Center awards. Is that the same thing?

<KevinMurphy> we hit the Ghost, loved the gig
<KevinMurphy> 30 minutes

<MikeNelson> Happy birth day to you, everyone, happy birthday to yoooouuuuuu.

<Moderator> <SuperChico> to <Moderator>: Who came up with the idea for the Observers? Are they based on any existing sf media?

<KevinMurphy> BTW, HBD

<JimMallon> I did.

* BillCorbett trying to care -- really trying -- that it is ACiDFisH's birthday.

* MikeNelson ROTFL

<KevinMurphy> The Observers was Mort Sahl's Idea

<MikeNelson> They're sort of a conglomeration.

<Moderator> <Brodo> to <Moderator>: Do you like the Moderators?

<BillCorbett> They are all based on John Keneth Gailbraith.

* KevinMurphy ROTFC

<KevinMurphy> ...choking

<MikeNelson> Yes, they seem like stand up men and women.

<KevinMurphy> We love the Movderators

<JimMallon> Yes! Sci-Fi Rules!

<KevinMurphy> but they're too moderate

* MikeNelson ROTC

<Moderator> <EVILIGGY> to <Moderator>: Where did you get such intelligent and handsome moderators?

<KevinMurphy> bunch a puusses, actually

<BillCorbett> Jim "Brown Nose" Mallon, l;adies and gents.

<JimMallon> Ok, guys.

<KevinMurphy> sorry

<BillCorbett> So are we only talking to moderators now?

<MikeNelson> Thank you EVILIGGY for your question. now explain your name.

<Moderator> <MST3kCmdr> to <Moderator>: How would you Guys Describe or Sum Up Season 8 and Being on The Sci-Fi Channel for The First Time?

<BillCorbett> He's Iggy Pops' "dark" twin.

<JimMallon> West Gutter has left the auditorium.

<KevinMurphy> We love it.
<KevinMurphy> fun
<KevinMurphy> challenging
<KevinMurphy> hint of onion

<JimMallon> What he said.

<Moderator> ( sorry, the moderator was temporarily taken with a spat of vanity)

<BillCorbett> Good, clean fun for kids of all ages!

<MikeNelson> I feel that Comedy Central is like a big festering toilet, and, oh wait, (diplomacy). It's every bit as good as CC.

<KevinMurphy> Oh, moderator, you-hah hah hah!

<Moderator> <Q> to <Moderator>: I'm going to the big evil Minnesota state fair this weekend. Will you guys ahve a booth?

<JimMallon> [thinking of moving to Montana]

<BillCorbett> Season 8: The Day the Laughter Died might be a good way of summing it up.

<KevinMurphy> We have the Milk Bar now.

<MikeNelson> I am selling funnel cakes.

* MikeNelson thinking how good Fred Dryer is.

* BillCorbett making a butter sculpture, and loving it!

* KevinMurphy growing hair

* MikeNelson wretching and sweating.

* BillCorbett losing hair to Kevin.

<Moderator> <glinda> to <Moderator>: are there any bad aspects of being on the scifi channel?

<KevinMurphy> It's too much fun.

* KevinMurphy sucking up

<JimMallon> Nope!

<MikeNelson> We're in the same vicinity as that toilet at CC. (diplomacy) No, no bad aspects.

<KevinMurphy> actually, they're big buncha sweeties

<BillCorbett> I miss Penn Gilette's sonorous voice.

<Moderator> <Gypsy> to <Moderator>: How long to you plan to keep doing the show?

* MikeNelson loving everyone at SciFi.

<KevinMurphy> Three more days.

<BillCorbett> Seven times seven generations,

<JimMallon> Four score and seven years.

<MikeNelson> For as long as George Clooney shakes that adorable head of his.

<BillCorbett> then seven more. Or 'til next year.

<JimMallon> [thinking I smell Mr. Bubble]

<Moderator> <truzenzuzex> to <Moderator>: what do u guys like to do in your spare time?

* KevinMurphy imagining spare time

<MikeNelson> I like to underline meaningless passages in books.

<JimMallon> Copy and paste.

<KevinMurphy> i rip cardboard into small bits

<JimMallon> Upgrade hardrives. It's fun!

<BillCorbett> I like to ENJOY THE WONDERFUL PROGRAMMING ON THE SCI-FI CHANNEL. Good enough, Barry? Now stop kicking me!

* MikeNelson coming on and feeling the noise. Watching girls rocking their boys.

<Moderator> OK, we're about out of time. Any final thoughts?

* KevinMurphy shouting, shouting, letting it all out.

<JimMallon> [thinking about jumper settings]

* KevinMurphy being freshmen

<BillCorbett> I like to make pasta sculptures of fasmous Russian military heroes.

<JimMallon> Thanks to Sci-Fi!

* KevinMurphy appearing in Riverdance

<JimMallon> Thanks to the Fans!

<Moderator> (Thanks to Jim)

<KevinMurphy> Thanks to all you folks for stopping by!
<KevinMurphy> we love you!

<MikeNelson> I'd like to thank all of our fans. Both of them. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

* BillCorbett thinking that, at long last, Kevin SHOULD be held responsible.

<KevinMurphy> MIKE! NO!

<Moderator> (ahem... We love you too, Kevin...)

<JimMallon> [wodering about what baud rate this machine uses]

* BillCorbett Despite his merely being a froshman.

* KevinMurphy kissing moderater lightly on cheek

* MikeNelson not being held responsible.

* Moderator blushes

* BillCorbett puking.

* KevinMurphy blushing too

* MikeNelson wretching then holding gorge.

<JimMallon> Now get off the computer and what Sci-Fi!

* Moderator begining to question the whole affair

<KevinMurphy> what?

<JimMallon> watch

<KevinMurphy> oh.

<JimMallon> sorry

<MikeNelson> What?

<Moderator> ok, thank you all for coming!

<JimMallon> See you latter.

<Moderator> See you all soon!

<KevinMurphy> Brought to you by Palmolove!

<MikeNelson> So long!!

<BillCorbett> Hasta la vista.
<BillCorbett> Brought to you by...pants!

<KevinMurphy> this is Lowell George! So long for now!

<JimMallon> So long, fare well, auf weidersehn , goodbye!
<JimMallon> [getting out of chair]

<Moderator> ok we're going to unmoderate now so you can all say goodbye
*** Moderator sets mode: -m

Reprinted with permission of The Sci-Fi Channel.