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Pre-Season Nine Chat with Paul, Kevin, Mike and Mary Jo
March 12, 1998

*** Mode change "+m" on #auditorium by Moderator

Moderator: Ok, we're now moderated.
Moderator: You can send your questions to me.
Moderator: Kevin, welcome!

*** Mode change "+v MikeNelson" on #auditorium by Bouncer

*** Mode change "+v KevinMurphy" on #auditorium by Bouncer

KevinMurphy tucks in his shirt

*** Mode change "+v PaulChaplin" on #auditorium by Bouncer

MikeNelson clears his throat.

KevinMurphy slicks back his hair with spittle

Moderator: So, Mike, Kevin, Paul...what have you been doing on your trip to New York?

MikeNelson hits kevin murphy with a 5 iron

KevinMurphy: I got caught between the moon and here.
KevinMurphy: ithuurt
KevinMurphy: oops

MikeNelson roars at his personal assistant.

PaulChaplin: shopping shopping and dancing

*** Mode change "+v MaryJoPehl" on #auditorium by Bouncer

KevinMurphy produces air burps

Moderator: <jobhob> to <Moderator>: Mike, Kevin... did you guys get enough sleep after appearing early morning on world news now or are you just bubbling in on caffeine?

MikeNelson wondering what the hell is the deal with Paul "Dancer Boy" Chaplin.

KevinMurphy: we are shooting purest crank, my friend

PaulChaplin: the same deal as ever

MikeNelson: Trendy Redrum Heroin is what i'm a-runnin' on.

KevinMurphy: whoo!

PaulChaplin: i wish they were lying

MikeNelson injecting it under his tongue.

KevinMurphy: NO!

Moderator: <Delfin300> to <Moderator>: If you had a chance, would you MSTie 'Titanic'?

MikeNelson injecting it between his toes.

KevinMurphy: Are you kidding? YUM!!!

PaulChaplin: you mean the actual tragedy?

MaryJoPehl: yes!

KevinMurphy: With special attention on Crazy Guggenheim

MikeNelson still waiting for Leonardo DiCraprio's testicles to drop.

PaulChaplin: we can have the rights for only three and a half billion dollars

KevinMurphy smacking mike

PaulChaplin: wait - what was that sound i heard something dropping

MikeNelson crying over the sound track to Titanic.

KevinMurphy: wow...

Moderator: <LisaSimpson> to <Moderator>: Have you ever wanted to MST any classic movies, like Metropolis, Casablanca or Citizen Kane?

PaulChaplin: i'm a teenage girl so i've seen it a lot

KevinMurphy: I wanna do Von Ryans Express, does thatcount?

PaulChaplin: i would like to do birth of a nation

KevinMurphy: ?me birthing a nation

MikeNelson: Citizen Kane had better gets its S**t together as a movie or we'll be all over it.

PaulChaplin: the longest yard

KevinMurphy birthing a nation.

PaulChaplin: rosebus was a nine-iron by the way

KevinMurphy: ...rosebus?

PaulChaplin: yes roesbus

Moderator: <MKDemon> to <Moderator>: Did you guys know they showed a MST3K clip tonight on Mtv Live (you guys captioning Titanic, or at least a part)

MikeNelson wondering why paul can't spell rosebud.

KevinMurphy: that was rose mashie

PaulChaplin: well we're dead

MaryJoPehl: Wow! Who was the VJ/ The woman who sell pimple cream? Martha Quinn?

MikeNelson: NO, although Kurt Loder and I spent the evening doing tons and tons of trendy redrum heroin.

KevinMurphy: MTV??? I love Kurt Loeder, he's hot

Moderator: <Zaphod42> to <Moderator>: Who decided which Observer got to live? Or was it more of a "haha, clown white, lets stick it on the new guy" kinda deal?

KevinMurphy dribbling chili

MikeNelson giving Kevin Murphy a really weak and vinegered wine.

PaulChaplin: pimple cream? i need some good stuff

KevinMurphy: Well, we fired Paul and mike was busy, so...

PaulChaplin: i lost my brain

MikeNelson giving Kevin a gift basket mostly comprised of cheese, with some assorted sausages.

KevinMurphy spitting my wine at mike

PaulChaplin: and some heroin

MikeNelson gagging at Kevin's second hand wine.

Moderator: <Sampo> to <Moderator>: Hi, guys! We heard you were taping your Seeing Ear Theater gig today. How did it go?

PaulChaplin: it went um okay i guess

KevinMurphy: Hi Chris, it went good. i mean well.

PaulChaplin: it ent

MikeNelson: Agggghhhhhh. Why can't Kevin put two coherent words together? Why? For the love of Bart, Why??!!

MaryJoPehl: I had to do a voice for a cow-alien-deity. That was hard to figure out what kind of voice that requires

PaulChaplin: although it came so easily

KevinMurphy bitch-slappping mike

MikeNelson wondering why Kevin is such a collossal idiot.

Moderator: <Katwoman24> to <Moderator>: Can you guys get on Rhino's butt to release more of the older episodes? I am continuously cable-impaired and an dying for a fix. *lol*

MikeNelson hating kevin even more. More now. Now more. Just a little more now. There.

KevinMurphy: I try to stay clear of Rhino's butts

MaryJoPehl: No. They never talk to us. Those are all pirated videos.

PaulChaplin: oh sure you do

MikeNelson: Rhino is too busy doing the collected works of Shaun Cassidy.

KevinMurphy absorbing the hate like my own sweat

MikeNelson lining up for the collected works of Shaun Cassidy.
MikeNelson hating Kevin even more. Hurting now. Even more.

KevinMurphy dialing rhino with my amex card in hand

MikeNelson plotting to do away with Kevin.

Moderator: <psweet> to <Moderator>: Will there be a theme to season 9? When can we expect the return of the shorts?

PaulChaplin: the theme will be the same theme as in Biran's Song

MikeNelson hatching the perfect plan to kill Kevin "lifewrecker" Murhpy.

MaryJoPehl: Paul's shorts are availabele to all who want them

KevinMurphy: The theme is "productivity for the future"

PaulChaplin: my shorts are spoken for

Moderator: <Zaphod42> to <Moderator>: what shirt are you wearing, kevin?

MikeNelson: The theme song to season 9 will sound exactly like the old theme song except it will be done by Wilson Phillips.

PaulChaplin: the theme is survival
PaulChaplin: the same shirt as ever

KevinMurphy looking at his shirt

KevinMurphy: um, i'm nude.

MikeNelson looking at Kevin's shirt and wondering if there is a God.

MaryJoPehl: Again. As usual

Moderator: <Krytn2x4b> to <Moderator>: Will the set change any this season??

KevinMurphy: yes.

PaulChaplin: ye and no

MikeNelson despairing over Kevin's odor.

MaryJoPehl: No but my office will. just a litttle

KevinMurphy: it will be the set from the Match Game

KevinMurphy soul coughing

Moderator: <VAL-> to <Moderator>: So Mary Jo...have all these guys fallen for you?

MaryJoPehl: We are going to have celebrities in sort of a hollywood squares sceneario

MikeNelson: The set will feature a frieze from the television show "we Got it Maid"

KevinMurphy falling for MJ

PaulChaplin: we've fallen over her a lot

MikeNelson wondering if it wouldn't be best to just take Kevin out right now.

KevinMurphy: guys actually take the fall for MJ

PaulChaplin: mary jo is so far above people like kevin

KevinMurphy dry-clicking a revolver

MaryJoPehl: Not that I know of. Unless making me wash their cars is their way of saying how much they like me

MikeNelson thinking that no one would notice if he killed Kevin right here in the office.

PaulChaplin: or care

Moderator: <Cheepnis> to <Moderator>: Is Bill Corbett OK?

KevinMurphy sweating like Christopher walken in the Deer Hunter

MikeNelson reaching for the .38 he always carries.

KevinMurphy: Bill's fine, he has things to do at home

PaulChaplin: he's fine. he's a great guy i love hin dearly

KevinMurphy screaming at Mike in Vietnamese

PaulChaplin: like mow the lawn and feed the cat

Moderator: <Borg1> to <Moderator>: How are your ratings? Do you have any SCI-FI yes-men hanging on your every word?

MikeNelson: Bill Corbett got ahold of a bad Mentos. He's recovering nicely.

PaulChaplin: we have three viewers

MaryJoPehl: Up from one

KevinMurphy: Ratings, schmatings, it's star power that keeps us going! STARR POWER!!!!

PaulChaplin: yes i'm being bothered by eight strange men right now

MikeNelson: Rating are....well....good. No, good's not the right word. Bad? well...ratings are holding.

KevinMurphy: ...Paul?

PaulChaplin: yes kevin?

KevinMurphy: eight strange men?

PaulChaplin: okay they're not so strange

KevinMurphy: is this new?

MikeNelson wondering why we are bound by the laws of God and i can't kill Kevin with impunity.

PaulChaplin: yes and i love it

Moderator: <GailPolly> to <Moderator>: Hi Guys I'm a busy single mom -- my favorite part of the week is blowing off steam with laughter and MST3K. My question is: do you find yourselves being recognized on the street more often since you joined the SciFi Channel?

PaulChaplin: god set the rules and we have to folow the,

KevinMurphy imagining the disemboweling of Mike with relish

MaryJoPehl: No, as a matter of fact LESS

KevinMurphy: I can't give it away on secoind avanue

MikeNelson: The only time i'm recognized is when I'm cashing a check and they match my license to my face.

KevinMurphy: oops

PaulChaplin wishing the hate could lessen just a lkittle

MikeNelson getting more angry over Kevin's misspellings.

MaryJoPehl: I never leave my apartment so its hard to say.

KevinMurphy trying yo give it away on seventh avenue

Moderator: <invincor> to <Moderator>: Will you be dedicating an episode this season to the memory of Lloyd "by this time my lungs were aching for air" Bridges?

MikeNelson getting even angier now.

KevinMurphy missspelling in perpose

PaulChaplin: try sixt avenune i gave it away there last night

KevinMurphy taunting mike with my nudity

MaryJoPehl: Did he die? Uh-oh. I didn't know. Why don't people advise me of these things

PaulChaplin: your nudity is not so noticeable ha!!

MikeNelson: The loss of Lloyd Bridges was great. He will be missed. Now we wait silently for the death of Todd Bridges.

KevinMurphy: I loved loyd, we was the best

MikeNelson missing Todd Bridges already.

PaulChaplin: adn Adam Sandler

KevinMurphy: oh. paul.

MikeNelson turning his hate on Paul Chaplin.

KevinMurphy: thank you mike

PaulChaplin: Adam Sandler is Bridges isn't he?

MikeNelson wondering what the hell Paul's last name really is.

KevinMurphy joining mike in the hate fest

PaulChaplin: it's an extremely armenian name

MikeNelson feeling the hate slip away, replaced by an undying love.

Moderator: <FlamingHat> to <Moderator>: How has Europe been taking season 8?

KevinMurphy: Paul Gusterimaniginaerianin

PaulChaplin: for me? thank you. i'll meet you later

MikeNelson losing his love and returning to hate.

MaryJoPehl: Not very well. They're mad.

PaulChaplin: i'll give it away this time

MikeNelson: With hairy legs and smelly armpits.

KevinMurphy: We are most fab in england

PaulChaplin: who? me?

KevinMurphy: and with bad teeth

MikeNelson: And thick lagers and bad food and rude service.

KevinMurphy: and spotted dick

PaulChaplin: i'm not sure they've noticed it yet

MikeNelson: And tiny, stinky cigarettes.

PaulChaplin: adn a lot of surrednering

Moderator: <Audrey> to <Moderator>: This is my first time in so I want to avoid a stupid question, okay, impossible, Will there be any new characters? And How will the castle come into play

KevinMurphy wondering where his Soft Cell LP is

PaulChaplin: the castle will be where things happen

MaryJoPehl: Yes, I will be playing my evil twin.

KevinMurphy: Mike will take the role of Buddy Sorel

MikeNelson turning that question over to someone who can anwer it seriously.

PaulChaplin: has any one seen my shoes?

MaryJoPehl: We are going to introduce a sensitive Buddy Hackett-like character

KevinMurphy fillling Paiul's shoes with cat feces

MikeNelson secretly placing a micky into Kevin's coke.

PaulChaplin: is that how you spell Sorel?

KevinMurphy: yes

MikeNelson waiting for Kevin to get woozy.

PaulChaplin: boy my shoes seem alot softer than before

KevinMurphy: wow am i woozy...
KevinMurphy: wow...

MikeNelson looking a little too hopeful and eager.

KevinMurphy: ...boy...

PaulChaplin: woozier you mean ha!

Moderator: <CaveDweller> to <Moderator>: Any chance we'll ever see another MST CD?

KevinMurphy: ...i can't...
KevinMurphy: ...type...
KevinMurphy: ...too weak...

PaulChaplin: so just die

MaryJoPehl: Yes, minimum deposit 2000 - not FDCI

KevinMurphy: fading...
KevinMurphy: ...i.

MikeNelson: Kevin will be doing a CD with Mandy Patinkin entitled Mandy and Kevin, the gayest album Ever!!!

KevinMurphy: ugh.

KevinMurphy falling to floor

PaulChaplin: is many pantankin gat!??

MikeNelson scooping up Kevin's body.

KevinMurphy: YES< DAMMIT< HE'S GAT!

PaulChaplin: so gat!!


PaulChaplin: i've got to admmit i'm gat too

Moderator: <DarkFalcon> to <Moderator>: How did you guys feel contributing some work to the new Sony Underground disc for Playstation?

PaulChaplin: well what else can we tell you about kevin?

KevinMurphy: ur not e

MaryJoPehl: I felt a little tired - hungry at times

PaulChaplin: we fely just a little bit richer

MikeNelson: it was a lot of fun. Mariah Carey is a GAS!!!

KevinMurphy still woozy

MikeNelson: She is sooooo ffuuuunnnm!

MikeNelson wrapping Kevin's body in plastic, dragging it to his trunk.

KevinMurphy being dead

PaulChaplin: his steamer trunk

KevinMurphy rotting

MikeNelson trying to still Kevin's kicking.

PaulChaplin: like we'd notice

KevinMurphy seeing a bright light.

MikeNelson wondering when he'll just die, damn it!

KevinMurphy: is that you, jesus?

PaulChaplin noticing that kevin is still alive in the trunk and stabbing and stabbing

Moderator: <DanHarkless> to <Moderator>: Since Pearl isn't really hunting Mike and the 'Bots "all across the universe" anymore (see "Time Chasers"), what will keep the story moving?

PaulChaplin: oh no! you're right!

MaryJoPehl: The arrival of twin babies

KevinMurphy: By beating up people named DanHarkless endlessly

MikeNelson: The story is out of control of the writers. We're turning it over to "All My Children" and seeing if they can punch it up a little

PaulChaplin: joe don baker is a permanent addition to the cast

MikeNelson dodging question after question.

KevinMurphy dodging Mike

MikeNelson feeling the audience turning on him.

KevinMurphy and others running from room

Moderator: <BuckFifty> to <Moderator>: Hey guys! Can you give us any details about the MST3K figurines that are coming out? (such as release dates, which characters)

MikeNelson drinking more to stem the tide of his depression. Drinking not working.l

KevinMurphy: we will be selling low calorie fugurines through the local groceries

PaulChaplin: we'll be having an annual Christmas series where each model will cost 600 dollars

MaryJoPehl: I will be rendered in porcelain, 13" high, a collectible hummel figure

KevinMurphy: collectible high end models coming soon!

PaulChaplin: kevin will be the baby jesus

MikeNelson: They will be prohibitively expensive and not amount to much....wait. they're great! They're soooo coool.

KevinMurphy: Mike will be weraing costumes from "little women"

MaryJoPehl: As usual

PaulChaplin: kevin will be nude of course

MikeNelson using a rock hammer on Kevin's patella.

KevinMurphy: natch

Moderator: <Polander> to <Moderator>: Mike,can you give us some MST home-game tips so we don't look like stupid repulsive anteaters in front of our shiny,happy friends?

KevinMurphy: Yes, don't say stupid things.
KevinMurphy: Listen.

PaulChaplin: just make one funny joke then repeat it forever that's what we all do

KevinMurphy: speak only when funny.

MikeNelson: Go with it. Don't worry about whether or not its funny. Just do a lot of scatalogical references and wait for the press to roollll in.

KevinMurphy twisting Mike's seprum with a channel-lock pliers

PaulChaplin: say "hey that's shakespeare!"

KevinMurphy: ...septum

MikeNelson: Seprum???
MikeNelson: What the hell is a seprum???Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. What a jerk!!!

PaulChaplin: can someone empty my bowl?

MikeNelson: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....seprum. Get him!!! Whooooooooooo.

KevinMurphy sitting on mike and dangling loogies

MikeNelson: Seprum. What a moron!!!

Moderator: <Cambot> to <Moderator>: When will we all see more of Bridget on the show?

KevinMurphy eating a butterfingers to get extra-thick spit

MaryJoPehl: No need to wait. She'll be making home visits to everyone

KevinMurphy: When Bridget loves Bernie, later this season.

MikeNelson wiping vast amount of gummy spit off his face.

PaulChaplin: his own spit

Moderator: <BartFargo> to <Moderator>: What do you guys think of that hot new show on your old network?

KevinMurphy adminisstering titty twisters

PaulChaplin: satan is the producer right?

KevinMurphy: Oh, you mean the obscene colorforms?

MaryJoPehl: Well, the kids with their big pants and skateboards seem to like it.

KevinMurphy: heh heh heh.
KevinMurphy: I like Isaac Hayes.

MikeNelson: Those young kids today with their filthy cartoons and their poop jokes. God bless 'em.

PaulChaplin: they're trying hard.

MikeNelson despairing over the popularity of South park.

KevinMurphy filling mike's ear canal with candle wax

PaulChaplin sending a resume to south park

Moderator: <nicklby> to <Moderator>: Tell us about the Oscar special. Which movie did you find it easiest to MST?

MikeNelson screaming like like a shot deer.

KevinMurphy: Actually, it's a surprise, our pick for best movie.

MaryJoPehl: Mrs. Brown was pretty fun, so was Titanic

KevinMurphy saying goodbye to paul.

KevinMurphy: bye paul

MikeNelson: Titanic was actually very easy, especially with help of crack writer James Cameron, who told us the movie was a joke in the first place.

PaulChaplin not saying amything in return

KevinMurphy: ...good BYE, Paul...

PaulChaplin: James Cameron was very good about the whole thing and took it all in athe spirit of good clean fun

MikeNelson wondering why paul can't spell worth sour owl s**t.

PaulChaplin: i can too spell sour owl shoot

Moderator: <Invisigoth> to <Moderator>: Can you tell me anything about the MST comic books-- sorry, "graphic novels"-- that are supposed to be coming out?

MaryJoPehl: Yes.

KevinMurphy: is owl s**t generally sour?

PaulChaplin: again - show me the money!

KevinMurphy: i'll show you the door, paul

PaulChaplin: surprisingly it's rather sweet

KevinMurphy showing Paul the door

MikeNelson: They'll be done in Fiji for 50 cents a day. We'll get rich.

PaulChaplin: why yes that's a very nice door
PaulChaplin: 50 cents - that's highway robbery!

KevinMurphy hitting Paul's head against the heavy door

MikeNelson: Kevin will now answer your question seriously. Kevin?

KevinMurphy: again and again and again

MaryJoPehl: Thank you Kevin. Why don't we just fire him?

PaulChaplin: stop! please! i'll do anything! please!

MikeNelson wondering why Kevin can't just give us a straight answer.

Moderator: <OOverlord> to <Moderator>: has anyone ever ASKED you to heckle their movie?

KevinMurphy: Re comix: stay tuned, you'll hear when it's official

PaulChaplin considering those photos of Mary Jo and me wrestliong

PaulChaplin: yes, James Cameron

MaryJoPehl: The movie we're doing now, Hobgoblins, was proffered by its director. now we're sorrry

KevinMurphy: We are doing a movie by Rick Sloan called "Hobgoblins", he sent it to us.
KevinMurphy: do i hear an echo?

PaulChaplin: we wish he had not done that

MikeNelson wondering why everyone answered it with the old Rick Sloan story.

MaryJoPehl: We'd like to apologize in advance

KevinMurphy bitch slapping mike once again

MikeNelson moistening with a very expensive french lotion.

Moderator: <BanjoPete> to <Moderator>: Of all the new characters you guys have played over the last season, which is your favorite and why?

KevinMurphy: Mine is Banjo Pete, bopy can he sing one!

PaulChaplin: banjo pete? what the hell is thatt all about?

MikeNelson: My favorite was scary guy by the name of Banjo Pete.

KevinMurphy: Nanite Nate!

PaulChaplin: i prefer dulicmer louie

MaryJoPehl: Amazon Mom with Bridget

KevinMurphy: Cittern LLoyd

MikeNelson: Actually, I liked doing to role of James Lipton, coming soon.

PaulChaplin: Autoharp Jacques

KevinMurphy: Krum horn Edouard

PaulChaplin: Alpenhorn Tom

MikeNelson trying to think of obscure instruments.

KevinMurphy: Viola da Gamba Louie

PaulChaplin: failing

KevinMurphy: Humanitone Orville?

PaulChaplin: authentic 16th century viola da ghamba ed

MikeNelson: Vox Humana Ralph?

KevinMurphy: Good!

MikeNelson: Thanks.

Moderator: <ProfssrBobo> to <Moderator>: Any upcoming special guest stars this season?

PaulChaplin: Sharon Stone

KevinMurphy: We have some plans, you'll hear it here first!

MikeNelson: Boyd Gaines will be making his come back on our show!!

MaryJoPehl: Lloyd Bridges was scheduled but no I guess that's not going to come through

KevinMurphy: Wow.

MikeNelson: Ohhhhhhh.

PaulChaplin: Oh Mary jo

KevinMurphy: Ouch.
KevinMurphy: Dark.

MikeNelson: Ouch.

KevinMurphy: Ooh.

MikeNelson: Man, Mary Jo. that's cold.
MikeNelson: Ouch.

PaulChaplin: Sam Snead

MikeNelson: Man.
MikeNelson: Who are you?
MikeNelson: Holy smokes!

MaryJoPehl: After all the filth on this chat from YOU GUYS and you come down on me?

KevinMurphy: Um, Ukelele, Baily? heh heh

PaulChaplin: death = funny to M jo

MikeNelson: Don't sit next to me any more.

KevinMurphy: Yes.

MikeNelson: Man.

KevinMurphy: me coming down on MJ

MikeNelson: Holy cow. The ice Princess

KevinMurphy: wow

MikeNelson: Geez.

KevinMurphy: Boy.
KevinMurphy: hunh.

PaulChaplin: tbis is too much

MikeNelson: No Soully Jo Pehl.

Moderator: <GypsyRose> to <Moderator>: Why isn't Patrick on-line and how is his singing voice as Gypsy?

MikeNelson: Hates Lifey Jo Pehl.

KevinMurphy: Patrick had to go back and actually work.

MaryJoPehl: Patrick had to get back to work on the next show

PaulChaplin: hey got any Diana jokes for us Mary Jo?

MikeNelson: Patrick is back in Minneapolis doing real work.

KevinMurphy: he'll be on a chat in the future

KevinMurphy stopping MJ from her next Mother Teresa Joke

MikeNelson marvelling over the strength of Mary Jo's uppercut.

MaryJoPehl: I'm going home. Bye.

KevinMurphy: NO!

MikeNelson bleeding on Mary Jo's arm in revenge.

KevinMurphy: Please!
KevinMurphy: You have the car!

Moderator: <JaneLane> to <Moderator>: did anyone of you try out for The Full Monty?

PaulChaplin: Patrick is the coolest guy in the unvierse by the way

KevinMurphy: Um, I'm nude, does that count?

PaulChaplin: mike qualified for the 40% monty

MaryJoPehl: Kevin keeps auditioning at work. its very upsetting - we keep saying no

MikeNelson: I tried out for the Full Monty 2:Triple Whip Out!

PaulChaplin: I was up for the double monty heh heh

MikeNelson checking to see if Paul's implication is accurate.
MikeNelson confirming Paul's implication.

Moderator: <Dark-Schneider> to <Moderator>: Hey there puppet people! Rumors are running rampant that Season 9 will see some cameos by old faces... can you confirm or deny?

KevinMurphy: ypu mean "pinky dink" Chaplin?

PaulChaplin: it's soooooo accurate

MikeNelson: I can categorically evade that question.

KevinMurphy: We have some plans for cameos, but nothing definite.

PaulChaplin: we ned to confer with our attorney first

MikeNelson asking Paul in private how he knows.

KevinMurphy: Ned, confer with our attorney.

PaulChaplin: how i know what? about Mike?

Moderator: <ChadDAngelo> to <Moderator>: Are you guys all best friends, or just friendly at work only type of people?

MikeNelson: My short comings.

KevinMurphy: I like everyone but Mike. No paul

PaulChaplin: i've talked to several well-placed sources

KevinMurphy: No, MJ.

MaryJoPehl: I used to like these guys until the Lloyd Bridges incident

MikeNelson: I have no comment on the people I work with. ( I don't like P., M.J., or K. however)

KevinMurphy seeking forgiveness from MJ
KevinMurphy singing Madonna songs to cheer her up.

PaulChaplin: Wait a minute - Lloyd bridges is dead!!! I get it!

KevinMurphy watching Paul roast in hell

MaryJoPehl: Yeah, real funny, Paul. Hahah.

PaulChaplin: Ah this hate feels good

MikeNelson marvelling over the callousness of Paul and the rest. Wondering how funny it would be if they died.

MaryJoPehl: Actually, fairly funny, I think

PaulChaplin: i think it would be a kind of a "hm" funny

Moderator: <Qua N Blk> to <Moderator>: Will you be talking to cambot this season? We've noticed he's kinda went into the background. Bot's need love too..and we love cambot..he brings us the show afterall! :)

KevinMurphy watching Mike be pious

KevinMurphy: Cambot is going bald, and very self-conscious

MikeNelson: It's because he "went" in the background that we don't have him on.

PaulChaplin: You're fixated on an invisible fictitious robot, byt the way. Which is okay...

KevinMurphy: so am I

Moderator: <servorocks> to <Moderator>: Have you had a bad experience with Unions since you make jokes about work orders and stuff?

PaulChaplin: Cambot is gat

KevinMurphy: Just the Ladie's Garment Workers Union

MaryJoPehl: Yes, they are constantly on strike outside our office building which is weird since we're non-union

MikeNelson: I was left under the fifty hard line of a football stadium by a union once.,
MikeNelson: I'm still steamed about it.

KevinMurphy feilding calls from James Hoffa

PaulChaplin: I work for the untion, and it's so good to me (that's an obsure reference)

MikeNelson being "taken out" by a promenant union.

KevinMurphy: Woody, right?

PaulChaplin: The Band

Moderator: <StarshipTrooper> to <Moderator>: What are your thoughts pertaining the discovery of the Killer Asteroid scheduled to impact in 30 years?

PaulChaplin: I'll be desad

KevinMurphy: ?kissing ass goodbye

PaulChaplin: dead that is

MikeNelson: I'm looking forward to meeting it.

MaryJoPehl: I can't wait. I'm hoping it lands on my apartment.

PaulChaplin: I guess we have not thoughts

KevinMurphy: We're dead.
KevinMurphy: Poor Paul

PaulChaplin: I CAN'T TYPE!!!!!!!

MikeNelson wondering if Paul needs new fingers.

Moderator: <Zen`> to <Moderator>: Do you guys have plans for more Japan bashing in the future, or was that just a one time thing?

KevinMurphy finding Paul a good therapist

PaulChaplin: We should leave Japan alone. They're falling apart as it is.

MaryJoPehl: No, we're really going to focus on Lloyd Bridges this season

Moderator: to ask a question, send it as a private message to the Moderator...

MikeNelson: It depends on whether Japan can get its crap together or not. Just kidding Japan!! Kidding.

KevinMurphy: The only thing that irks me about Japan is bad jokes.

MikeNelson liking Japan a lot.

PaulChaplin: I'm wearing tiny shorts right now

KevinMurphy: and the tiny shorts! how can you defend that?\

Moderator: <Crowbie> to <Moderator>: So, What do you guys do in your free time?

KevinMurphy: YOu couldn't be referring to when Servo screamed, "eat ir Japan", could you?

MikeNelson: I collect all the ursine based Beanie Babies.

KevinMurphy: I hit Mike

MaryJoPehl: Movies, going out, stuff and stuff.

PaulChaplin: I wash myself a lot

KevinMurphy: It doesn't work

PaulChaplin: I was other people too
PaulChaplin: wash i mean

KevinMurphy: Hi Track Zero!

Moderator: <AramFingal> to <Moderator>: will Bobo and Observer still be on the show this season?

PaulChaplin: I hang around outside Mary Jo's apartment

KevinMurphy: YES! and they're to be married

MaryJoPehl: He keeps wanting to wrestle

PaulChaplin: She keeps wanting not to

Moderator: <BuckFifty> to <Moderator>: Since next year is the tenth anniversary of the show, are there any plans for a convention?

PaulChaplin: There's a great Shriners Convention ins St Louis

KevinMurphy: It's would be fun, so we'll see

MaryJoPehl: Yes, its going to be at my apartment. So only 6-8 people can attend. And you'll have to bring a sleeping bag.

KevinMurphy: they're very hard to put on, so we may try another way to do it

MikeNelson: Do NOT go into Mary Jo's apartment. Trust me.

MaryJoPehl: Sleeping bags?

KevinMurphy: believe me, we want to celebrate our tenth Aniversary with all our fans!

MikeNelson hitting the Booze again!

MaryJoPehl: But Paul's not invited

KevinMurphy: guys want to stop visiting with each other?

PaulChaplin coming anyway

Moderator: <einstein> to <Moderator>: "Mike, will you continue your column in Home Theater Magazine ?"

MikeNelson: Yes. As long as my loyal 3 fans continue to read it.

KevinMurphy: Sorry, I stopped

MikeNelson: Readership is up to 8 now.

Moderator: <PMAvers162> to <Moderator>: Any more thought into doing a LIVE MST3K in a real theater?

PaulChaplin: Oh back down to six

MikeNelson having a thought of doing a live MST in a theater.

MikeNelson: Yes.

KevinMurphy: I'd love to do another live show, they're the most fun in the world

PaulChaplin: so the answer is yes
PaulChaplin: we think about alot of stuff

MikeNelson: Paul's place?

KevinMurphy: sure

MikeNelson: Alot is too words, Paul.

MaryJoPehl: Paul's going to open with 45 minutes of his stand-up act.

PaulChaplin: I live on the street

KevinMurphy fleeing from Paul

Moderator: <Marv> to <Moderator>: Which one of you has the weirdest sense of humor?

KevinMurphy: Paul.

MikeNelson telling Kevin to wait up.

KevinMurphy: Paul

PaulChaplin: Kevin

KevinMurphy: Paul
KevinMurphy: Paul

MikeNelson: Paul

KevinMurphy: paul

MikeNelson: Paul

PaulChaplin: 'Kevin

MikeNelson: Paul

PaulChaplin: Kevin

MikeNelson: Paul
MikeNelson: Paul

PaulChaplin: Kevin

KevinMurphy: poaulpaulpaulpaulpaulpaul

MikeNelson: Paul

PaulChaplin: Kevin

MikeNelson: Paul
MikeNelson: Paul

PaulChaplin: Kervin

MikeNelson: Paul

KevinMurphy: Paul;

MikeNelson: Paul

PaulChaplin: kervhg9on

MikeNelson: Paul
MikeNelson: Paul

KevinMurphy: Bullwinkle.

PaulChaplin: Kegonng

MikeNelson: John
MikeNelson: Ringo.

KevinMurphy: Ed...
KevinMurphy: ED

MikeNelson: Eddddd.

KevinMurphy: EDGE

MikeNelson: Bllleeerrrreeedddddd

PaulChaplin: Lloyd Bridges

KevinMurphy: dod bammit edge!

Moderator: <Joey> to <Moderator>: Any appearances at conventions or ribbon cuttings?

KevinMurphy: I'm doing the Camper show at the dome

PaulChaplin: I'm a regular opening for Pat Buchanan

MaryJoPehl: I got a key to the city of Circle Pines, does that count?

MikeNelson: I'll be doing the Industrial Fluid-A-Thon is East Moline.
MikeNelson: "in" East Moline. Sorry.

PaulChaplin: Mike likes fluids believe me

KevinMurphy: I'll be doing fats-a-poppin at the rendering plant

MikeNelson: Paul likes Bulls**t, believe me.

KevinMurphy: wanna take this outside, you two?

PaulChaplin: no i love him

MikeNelson inviting Paul to back up the truck of whoop ass.

Moderator: We only have time for a few more questions. Please send your final questions to the Moderator...

PaulChaplin inviting mike to stand in fornt of a tiger woods drive of kcik his butt

KevinMurphy: kcik?

PaulChaplin: eys

KevinMurphy: Oh, Paul, paul...

MikeNelson dancing about the ropey Chaplin, boxing his malformed ears. Ripping him a new one.

PaulChaplin: whta?

KevinMurphy: Ooh, he can't take it there!

PaulChaplin: a new what, Mike? a new what?

KevinMurphy: OOh, right in the store!

PaulChaplin: my old one is fine

KevinMurphy: wow, look at the blood!

MikeNelson:, it's not.

PaulChaplin: it was yesterday

Moderator: <Pandora2> to <Moderator>: What advice would you guys give to an aspiring writer wanting to break into showbiz?

KevinMurphy: STOP IT!

PaulChaplin: pay no attention to how mike does it

KevinMurphy: Sell your body, but stick to your vision
KevinMurphy: be tenacious

MikeNelson: Get a job on a really lame puppet show. Get the press behind you, then milk. MILK. MIIIILLLLLKKKKK!!!

KevinMurphy: be courageous
KevinMurphy: be good

PaulChaplin: go to South Park

MaryJoPehl: Apply for Paul's job.

PaulChaplin: Ha.

MikeNelson: Really, apply for Paul's job. No joke.

PaulChaplin: Ha. Ha.

Moderator: <OOverlord> to <Moderator>: do you guys "Ever Wonder?" if so, what about? :)

MikeNelson: Seriously.

KevinMurphy: Is Paul still here?

MikeNelson: Ever wonder....why paul isn't out of the building yet?

KevinMurphy: I wonder about Paul.

MaryJoPehl: I have wonder-bra'd.

KevinMurphy: I stevie Wonder.
KevinMurphy: he heh heh heh.

PaulChaplin: I'm pretty sensitive i may start crying and throwing up and killing

KevinMurphy: heh heh heh...
KevinMurphy: heh...

MikeNelson: I wo wo wo wonder. Why, she ran away from me.

Moderator: <Fee> to <Moderator>: What our your all Goals for SeaSon 9?

KevinMurphy: Well, Fee, our goal is to spell better, starting with Paul.

MikeNelson: SeaSon 9 will be the season we misspell the word Season.

PaulChaplin: i need to finish paying for my Montana ranch

MaryJoPehl: to live through Hobgoblins without killing anyone or crying in the bathroom.

MikeNelson: Kidding. We really need to get it together and get the Movie Twister.

KevinMurphy: A better grade of Bad movie is coming your way!

Moderator: Final question....

MikeNelson wondering why we couldn't pull it together and get the folks a good chat.

Moderator: <VAL-> to <Moderator>: Any final words of wisdom??

PaulChaplin: when have we ever done anything right?

MikeNelson wondering why he goes for the cheap joke.

MaryJoPehl: Don't ever make a Lloyd Bridges joke.

KevinMurphy: Don't use canned consomme

PaulChaplin: don't go to the bathromm in Turkey

KevinMurphy: bathromm?

MikeNelson: Just This: Please, please don't go to the Wedding Singer. Please. If you love joy and life and goodness at all.

MaryJoPehl: Or in a turkey.

PaulChaplin: eys

KevinMurphy: Oh, Paul, Paul...

PaulChaplin: no that's fine actually

KevinMurphy: If you meet Adam Sandler, run.

PaulChaplin: some turkeys actually well never mind

MaryJoPehl: NOOOOO!!!!!

MikeNelson putting an end to the "Paul" problem once and for all.

MaryJoPehl: YESSSS!!!

KevinMurphy: Yeah!!!

PaulChaplin: in fact just run now in case Adam Sandler is nearby

MikeNelson enjoying a new leaner brand of bacon.

KevinMurphy: good BYE, Paul.

PaulChaplin: I'm still here happer

KevinMurphy beating the Wiz

MikeNelson marvelling over how bad reduced calorie syrup is.

Moderator: Thank you for taking the time to speak with us! We will now make the room unmoderated.

*** Mode change "-m" on #auditorium by Moderator

PaulChaplin trying that new hula popper

Reprinted with permission of The Sci-Fi Channel.