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Mike Nelson Live! The Review
By Greg Starbuck
I had just arrived at Guilford College, a small, sleepy undergraduate school, with a beautiful tree lined
campus in Greensboro, N.C., when I spotted Mike Nelson. He seemed to be moving a little slowly (sort of
like the MST3K host segment where Mike has a headache and has to lie down) and began recounting the story
of his screwed up Northwestern flight. His original flight was cancelled, he had to take a later plane, his luggage
got lost and he had only the clothes on his back and a business satchel.
Someone asked "Mike can we take some pictures?" to which he replied, "Sure. (flash, flash), oh,
but not of me." (He was kidding.) Mike was soft-spoken, polite, pleasant, sort of resigned to his fate
of being away from home and family on a trip from hell with no clothes. He took everything in with great aplomb.
He looked to be trim and in good shape. He stood at the back of the auditorium looking over some notes he took
out of his satchel. Occasionally someone would saddle up to him and introduce themselves and shake his hand. People
started entering the hall in earnest until there were probably 100. Then the lights dimmed, one of the organizers
came out and gave a quick introduction and on stage rolled Mike Nelson!
Mike gave a few introductory remarks which got the crowd laughing and applauding. Namely about his troubled trip
to North Carolina. He said his airline had instituted a new cost savings program. Have passengers show up and buy
tickets, and then don't have any planes show up.
Mike's presentation consisted of a variety of bits. His first was a contest. He brought volunteers up on stage
and told them he would ask them a question and who ever got the most right answers would win one of his books.
He then reached into his satchel and pulled out the first book--A Calendar Book featuring Cats. The first question
was "What was Patrick Swayze's character's full name in the movie Roadhouse?" Silence filled the
hall, the two contestants shook their heads.
I raised my hand and hollered "I know, I know." Mike called on me, I yelled "Dalton!" then
he looked at the two contestants waiting for one of them to ring in with the right answer, finally one of them
figured it out and rang his bell (which entailed saying "ring, ring"), and said "Dalton!"
Mike: "Right answer!"
He went on to ask a few more MST3K related questions until he had a winner of the calendar book. He repeated
the game with two more times drawing great laughs and giving away a book of puzzles, and then a book on how to
fix up your kitchen.
Mike then read a couple of chapters from his books, the chapter on shopping at Radio Shack, and the one regarding
the movie The Bridges of Madison County. At first I thought, he's just reading from his book, but it was
surprisingly funny. (Hey Mike, ever thought of recording books-on-tape versions of your books?). Mike did
another game where he'd got a member of the audience onto the stage and with a pile of index cards dubbed his "Random
bad movie title generator" he had the volunteer pick & read cards which when strung together gave the
tag line to a bad movie.
Mike then spoke on subjects like Keanu Reeves, Carrot Top, the movie Van Helsing, and such. Mike then took
questions from the audience and fielded about 15 questions, many about his upcoming projects, most about MST3K
(favorite episodes, favorite characters, etc.), and a few about his past projects (books, commentary tracks).
The presentation ended much too quickly (actually he entertained us for about an hour and a half), throughout the
program Mike constantly bantered with the audience. It was like having a conversation with him. When on audience
member asked him where the real estate seminar was he started doing a boxer's shuffle, saying "OK tough guy,
got your little joke."
Lastly he says "I can stick around and sign some stuff." He then proceeded to the lobby and began
signing photographs, DVD sets, books, etc. for the crowd. Thanks Mike & What the Hell Con '05!
cwkepi@earthlink.net
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